"Tell me again what it felt like?" Jenny requests, smoothing a cool, lavender scented rag on my forehead. Under her fingernails is a smidge of blue and white paint, making her smell of acetone underneath the usual lavender.
"Off. Like nothing was important. As if the entire world didn't matter. If everything and everyone had died, it would've made no difference. I felt... nothing." Shaking my head, I glance over. The soft, plush pillows supporting my back almost feel surreal after feeling almost nothing at all. "I'm not explaining it very well, am I?"
She pats my hand, giving me a gentle smile. "Dear, you are doing just fine. For now, rest. We can speak of this when you are better able to handle it."
I shake my head, knocking the cool rag off. It slides down the side of my face. "Jenny, please. I am in the dark about too much. I can't change what I do not know. Please," I whisper. I fist the white down comforter in my hands. Jenny's home feels too opulent when I want my poky hay mattress and Momma's voice lulling me to sleep.
She hesitates, but moves so her back is also against the plush pillows, smoothing out her satin dress with quick strokes of her hands. "Alright. You must promise to keep what I tell you a secret. Outside of nobles, this is seldom shared, for good reason. It is a preservation, think another line of defense, for our nation."
I think about it, then nod.
She smiles gently, but tired concern lines her face and dark circles make her look haggard. "What you likely already know... we nobles have always had Gifts. Yet—with every Gift, there is a Curse." My eyes grow wide and a noise of something gurgly and raspy comes from my lips. She watches me, raising a well-arched brow. I nod for her to continue. "The Curse is generally tied to the Gift. What you have described to me, I would guess your Gift allows you to feel the emotions of others, yes?"
I nod, unable to hide my surprise, but she seemingly takes no notice. As she continues, her voice deepens as if she is giving a lecture, "When you overexert, I imagine the price you pay is in the stealing of your own emotions since you are, in essence, stealing the emotions of others. Curses come in many forms and can be many things, from sleeping to pain, or even turning a man into a beast at odd times. The many Gifts range from your talent of feeling and influencing the emotions of others—called a Mindempath—to changing form or wielding elements."
"That, that feeling... was my Curse? Because I overused my Gift? And I can influence emotions?"
She nods, a gentle smile tipping her lips. "Yes, dear girl. Some Mindempaths are strong enough to read minds and influence thought patterns. It is a gift you should keep well under guard, for many will fear it... in tun, fearing you as a threat. We nobles learn these matters from a young age, as many of our lines carry Gifts from ages past. In my world, it is unwise to broadcast your weaknesses, so most never tell other nobles about their gifts, should one learn and take advantage."
My eyes grow wide. "That's..."
Her eyes grow softer, but her brows pinch together in thought. "Despicable? Disturbing? It is the way of leadership. Keeping weaknesses hidden beneath layers of prestige and projecting only power. I would dare say it may not be entirely different from your work as the Guardian, just in a mental capacity instead of physical infighting."
I shake my head. A thought crosses my mind. "What is your gift?"
She starts, her forehead wrinkling as she frowns at me, then grows still.
I squirm uncomfortably under her straight-forward gaze. "Aria, please understand, it's not usual for nobles to speak of Giftings, even to each other. It's drilled into us at an early age."
If you come across this story on Amazon, it's taken without permission from the author. Report it.
I puff out a breath, blowing short hair from in front of my eyes.
Jenny takes my hand, patting it. "It is indeed hard to express my gift, but with you, I know you will protect it. And yet, sharing this is much more challenging than I expected, so I shall just say it. My Gift is of Motherhood."
I jerk in surprise, not quite understanding. She regally gains her feet, smoothing her cream satin gown before gliding over to the balcony, looking out at the city. "My parents thought me talentless for many years. I could not wield flame or wind. I could not charm jewelry for luck or find lost objects. The thought of being the only Giftless of my generation--" She shakes her head slightly, as if ridding herself of memories. When she continues, she tries to turn her voice lighter, but I hear the strain beneath. It must've been hard, being Giftless in a world of talent. "It wasn't until after Hans brought in little Lorenth, and I knew. I knew what he had been through. There was an ocean of need before me. An ocean just waiting to be filled with love, joy, and hope. A purpose was set before me in a darling child, and I loved every moment of his growth until my own children came."
"Motherhood... is a Gift?"
"As is Fatherhood, yes. But only some have the talent. I was blessed with the intuition of a mother before I ever became one, and it has only grown since."
"And what is your Curse?"
She turns, placing both hands over her trim hips, a grin on her face. "Motherhood is its own Gift... and Curse. Staying up late, always being on call, changing stinky clothes." The grin grows wry. "Not to mention dealing with the father's snores while you bathe a child who peed all over you and the bedspread."
I choke on my tongue and a giggle.
Hans comes in the door.
We both turn matching grins on him. He pauses, narrowed grey eyes darting between us, and takes one small step backward.
"Do come in, Hans dear. I have such wonderful tales of when our children were babes." Her grin morphs into something almost... scary.
Sir Hans looks quite spooked, but I really want to hear about my family before Jenny scares him away.
"What news, Hans?" I ask quickly, interrupting the stare down.
He sighs, coming in and sitting at the chair Jenny vacated to sit on the bed. "You were right. They are there, and as far as we can tell, they are being cared for decently well, for prisoners."
My lungs about collapse in relief, my entire body going limp.
"Can we get them out?" I ask, my eyes and voice pleading.
After I described where my family was... I wanted to come and see the place with my own eyes, but both Hans and I knew I was too weak. I must recover in time for the tournament to keep up appearances, and Hans has the disposal of the Honour Knights. I let Hans scout it, even though I still feel the pull in my chest to seek them out now.
Ran would be so proud of me. I'm learning to delegate.
Hans meets eyes with Jenny, and she wraps arms around me for one of her magical hugs. Her ability to comfort and make me feel so welcome and at home now makes more sense. As does her need to feed me... constantly.
Jenny offers me an apple with a grin, and I almost groan. I take it with what I hope is a graceful smile, even if I am a bit queasy at the thought of more food in my belly. Jenny has been stuffing meat and fruit in my mouth ever since we got back.
"The fairies have agreed to meet us at the library. They have more information about how we will retrieve your family."
"When have you met with the fairies, Sir Hans?" I ask, and he winces.
"Now, Aria, don't get excited. I have visited them perhaps three times since we left Natasha in their hands, gathering information and seeing to—" He stops cuts himself off, turning to look at me with a mix of concern and regret in his eyes.
"Spit it out, Hans."
He runs an agitated hand down his salt and pepper beard. "I needed information. They have it."
I almost clench my teeth. He is keeping things from me. I wonder if I truly need to put so much trust in him and Jenny? I think they're good... but someone knew about my home and my ties to Sir Ri and the Guardian.
I lay back with a sigh. This is going to be a long day.
I run a hand down my face, physically and mentally exhausted, but with no option other than putting one foot in front of the other.
Ran, keep an eye on Jenny and Hans, alright?
They didn't betray you, you know.
I don't know who to trust anymore. Just... please?
A sigh. Fine. But you owe me.
I allow a small smile to tip my lips. Some things never change. And having a prickly, sarcastic bond is just a part of my life. As are monsters, fairies in hiding, and a prince.
To the library we go.