The library rumbles, darkness rumbling from its depths dug deep into the sands of time beneath her surface. I smooth a hand down the bristling library wall. It takes a moment to realize what image it’s sending me. And I nearly choke in surprise.

It’s asking me if I want it to swallow the sprite king and put him in the dungeon for daring to threaten me.

Much as I appreciate the offer, please let me handle this.

It concedes, and the rumbling stops.

I glance behind me, seeing the sprite king and his guards fluttering, each one holding a shimmering, opaque shield of some sort in front of them with odd lettering on the surface. It’s safe to say I don’t want to find out the purpose of those shields.

But heck if I’m gonna let that stop me.

I stalk up to the king, feeling Silver dogging my steps. I stand in front of the sprite, staring him in the eye. The last time I was here, I cowered before him, knowing I had almost caused the death of his wife and my friend. The guilt was overwhelming, the pain unbearable. And it still rises with a tepid curdle of pain deep inside me, but now I know.

Now I’m in control.

Now I accept who I am. All of who I am: Gift, Curse, Good, Bad, Ugly, and Beautiful. I was created for a purpose, set before this path for a specific goal in mind. I feared this path. Feared I wouldn’t be good enough. Feared I’d let The King down. Feared I’d fail.

But what I finally realized?

You create what you fear.

I feared being out of control. I feared the unknown to such extent I strove to control every aspect of my life. I became a warrior so I would never have to fear another person dying on my watch. I learned medicines and remedies to ensure Jill lived. I became Guardian so no one would have to fear what I had feared all my life.

That when you needed them most, no one would be there.

But now?

When I had a stranglehold on my Gift, when I clutched the reins so tightly I nearly strangled my Gift, I was hurting both of us. But I felt there was no other way. I had to control what I didn’t understand or I risked the unknown. And daggum, the unknown is scarier than a dragon in the depths of the ocean.

But it wasn’t until I released my need for control, that I let my Gift free, did I find true trust. True freedom. It was possible my Gift could take off and rampage across the city, killing thousands. It was true that it could swamp me with emotion and strangle me with threads from others.

But my Gift is not meant as a burden or a pain, but a help. It’s scary to trust something that’s hurt you, but I cannot discount that a big part of what hurt me was myself. My stranglehold on the reins had my Gift balking and bucking against me, trying to break free before I killed us both.

It’s not the Gift’s fault. It was mine.

But if the Gift had shown inklings of human emotion such as selfishness or insipid actions where it didn’t care who or what it hurt—that would be different. But it showed none of that.

And in my fear, I nearly broke it.

No more.

I realize in my fears and insecurities; I had pushed away those who could have helped me. I pushed away Becca’s mother when she offered to lend us money. I pushed away my friends when Jill became sick, focusing all my energy on her and my family instead of asking for help. I almost killed Rose and Natasha because I feared what I didn’t understand. I nearly strangled my Gift. I pushed away Momma from the horrors of what I actually saw in the streets—although it seems she knew all along, the daggum woman. I tried to push away Silver and Ran, but those two stuck closer than Eldertree sap.

It’s time I stop.

Stop pushing away those who want to help. Need to help. Stop hating myself for what I’ve done and grant mercy and kindness to the little, scared girl deep inside. Stop trying to control everything and know The King has me and this country in his hands.

He’s put me here for a reason. A purpose. And it’s time I accepted that without trying to control the outcome.

So when I walk up to the king of the sprites, I stop seeing the glittering crown and fluttering wings. Instead, I see him for what he is—an insecure man failing to protect his people and terrified of losing control.

I stop before him, and I smile. “You were right, king of the sprites. I was a danger to all, including myself and this city. But do you know what I learned?”

“I don’t care what you learned, Guardian of Nothing—”

With a gentle tap of my Gift, I send a feeling through him. A single feeling which is always so absent from those of us who strive to be perfect so the essence and pain of failure will never reach us.

Acceptance.

This content has been misappropriated from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

“I have learned fear breeds a dangerous monster inside us. The monster of control. If we allow fear to rule us, we will become what we most fear—alone. You have done well, king of the sprites. You have protected your people, ensured their continued survival, and even granted them a peaceful place to grow and be content. But it is time for the fairies to come from beneath the bowels of the earth. You were not meant to be contained, even in as beautiful a place as the library. You were meant to be free, stewards of Gifts and growers of Life.”

The king quivers. There is no emotion in his eye, and I almost fear I killed him, but then he blinks. His wings flutter and he takes a deep breath. “Who do you think you are?” he asks, pointing a trembling finger at me. Anger burns from him in waves I suspect even the non-empaths in the room can feel.

But my Gift allows me to know what the anger covers. Fear.

I give him a gentle, knowing smile. “I am no one, sir. I am a farm girl with a Gift granted by the Most High King to bring balance back to his people and his lands. And it’s time for the humans and the creatures of old to once more stand together against a common enemy and live once more in a peace not seen since the wars of old.”

My words rob him of the anger he holds so close so as to be a shield better than any metal. But he never realized that such a shield, while keeping out swords, also keeps out those who love him most.

He drops to the ground, crumpled and broken. His guards exchange glances, blinking in surprise and uncertainty oozing from them. I crouch before the sprite king. He seems so small. The larger than life presence is gone, leaving him a tiny man not bigger than my arm sitting on the ground.

“Have I done wrong?” he asks.

I shake my head. “No, sir, you haven’t. Up to this point, you have done everything The King bid. But now is the time to rise.”

He sucks a breath of air through his nose. Then he cranes his head up to look at me, narrowing his eyes and scowling. “You are the last person I’d expect this from,” he says, a sneer spreading across his face.

I can’t help it. I laugh. I reach out a hand. He hops in it, and I bring him back up. “What, not small enough for you?”

“It’s the lack of wings, small fry,” he says, scowl still in place, but his are eyes lighter and darker all at once. “But don’t expect me to go back on the banishment, even if the library accepts you. You’re still a dangerous, hemogoblin, wingless, jack—”

“Rupert!”

A grin crosses my face while a grimace crosses the kings.

A little fluttering fairy flies over to her husband, taking him by the wing and whispering furiously in his ear. He bows his head, properly contrite, mumbling I’m sorry, and nodding at all the right places.

“She saved our daughter…You will be kind or so help me… Most stubborn, obnoxious winged creature I’ve ever known…”

The queen’s tirade is loud enough for us all to hear. I bite my lip to keep from laughing while the guards studiously ignore their ruling couple.

I hope Silver and me can be just like them someday.

Oh, my worlds. I glance over at Silver, my cheeks turning a bright shade of burning pink when I realize what I just thought. His eyes somehow hold an understanding, as if he knows what I just thought. I quickly glance away, but not before I see a smile light up his eyes and nearly make them glow in the soft lamplight.

The queen coughs pointedly at the end of her tirade, gesturing at me. The suitably cowed king bows to me, a task more impressive because he’s fluttering in the air. “Forgive me, Guardian, you are allowed back in this library.” The queen coughs again, crossing her arms and glaring when the king winces and glances at her. He swallows and nods when she meets his gaze with fire. “And we will do as you have said. The sprites are at your disposal.”

I bow. “You have my thanks, your highnesses. You will find there is beauty in change. It is hard at first, but then you find what once was hard becomes easier with each step you take. And, perhaps, better than you ever could’ve imagined.” Then I can’t help it. I turn to the queen. “You’re truly alright?” I ask, my voice breaking as tears burn behind my eyes.

She huffs, and were she any younger, I’d say she’d of rolled her eyes. “Surely you didn’t expect some empath to be the end of me, hmm?”

I laugh, going closer. She meets me half-way, granting me the hug I’d craved ever since I’d almost killed her, her warm arms wrapping halfway around my neck and her soft wings brushing feather-light against my chin and cheeks. “I’m glad you’re alright. I’m so, so sorry.”

She pulls back, catching the tear from my eye. It turns into a shimmering thing which refracts the light, throwing tiny rainbows across her hand. She holds it out, and I open my hand to find a crystal already in my palm.

I blink. What in the worlds?

Then I remember a cold, icey world and something biting into my palm when I fell on my knees. My father, now home, left me with something precious.

The queen puts the crystal from my tear next to the other and gently closes my fingers over them. “You have been tried and been found worthy, child. It is time for you to lay aside the past so we may all find our future. Together.”

I nod, giving her a sad, knowing smile.

It’s time to take the battle to them. Win or lose, it's time to fight.

But first—”Know anyone by the name of Cedric of Clan Tulip?”

“That good for nothing scoundrel—”

“Hush, hubby. Yes, child. We know of him.”

“I freed him and a few other sprites. They are down below. He is a good man, your highnesses. I feel him and Natasha will get along very well.”

The king growls. The queen grins.

The queen places a hand over the king’s mouth. He mumbles beneath her hands, even as she tightens them in warning. “I will surely see it done, child. Thank you for bringing more family home to us.”

“She is but a child!” the king mumbles beneath the queen’s fingers.

A fleeting scowl crosses the queen’s face before morphing into a serene beauty. “Natasha is eighty-four, dear. Which means she could have chosen to be married years ago if you didn’t challenge her beloved and then banish him!”

The king crosses his arms like a petulant child. “She was barely fifty. Just old enough to choose her own. And then she chose an outsider!”

“That was her choice. You had no right to take it from her and you will not take it from her again. She ran away because of your hard-headedness and you will push her away again if you don’t allow her to be free.”

The king purses his lips, but his eyes are thoughtful when he glances at me. “Fear breeds control which breeds loss,” he whispers.

I nod, nearly bowing.

They turn away, and when they are gone, my shoulders slump and my chin drops to my chest.

Silver steps up beside me, holding out his arms. I smack into his chest. He takes a step back to regain balance.

A shiver wracks me from head to toe. “That was daggum hard. But also… freeing.”

Silver kisses the top of my head. “I am so proud of you, Mau Tigress. You were amazing.”

I smile. “Really?”

He nods against my hair, setting his cheek on top of my head. “You are a brilliant light, Mau Tigress, glimmering an otherwise dark and dreary existence. You kindly told that over-inflated sprite where to shove it.”

I choke on a laugh. “It's time to fight,” I whisper, the shock still holding the emotions at bay.

“Then we'll fight, Mau Cor. Together.”

I burrow deeper, breathing him in and letting him center me. “Together. Thank you, Arin.”

He stills. But then he relaxes, releasing a self-deprecating laugh. “You’re welcome, Ri.”