Cindy was crying profusely while kneeling on the floor, after receiving the harsh news. The newfound Kristian would not be able to keep her vows without it costing her life. It seemed for Cindy, that every time she took a step forward, she took another two backwards. She just wanted a peaceful life of worship. Killing was too much for her to bear, as she found out. The woman still joined the group of assassins nonetheless, hoping for a family, a place she belonged in the world. The burden that came with her new home, however, was just too much.

The half-elf was stuck in her new profession indefinitely. Her only real option was to flee from the city in order to avoid Elanor's wrath, but where would she go? Even if she managed to make it out of Baldimore alive, Cindy still had Jon to worry about. She couldn't just leave the boy behind. What would her friend Elie think, if Cindy just left without a word? Weighing her slim options while crying up a river, the half-elf had to steel her resolve again, or meet her end.

"Um, you okay there, Cindy?" Amy asked, patting the half-elf on the head. "L-look, it's not all that bad. We won't let that mean lady lay a finger on you!"

"Then, you'll help me escape... and find Jon a new home?" Cindy asked, still bawling her eyes out. "I-I refuse to kill anymore, even if it costs me my life. So, could you just find the boy a new home, at least? I'll figure the rest out on my own."

"That wouldn't work either, I'm afraid," Ben said, twiddling his thumbs. "Elanor knows everything that happens in this city. She'll kill you and the boy before too long."

"B-but, Director Aria told me and Kai we could live if we left Baldimore!"

"Yeeeah, I did say that, didn't I?" Aria responded, averting her gaze. "Sorry, I forgot about that other part. For what it's worth, I would've killed you for certain, if it wasn't for that horribly timed interruption. Please forgive my mishaps. It seems they have led to a great deal of stress for you," she said with a smile.

"Sis, that was unnecessary," Ben said.

Cindy practically ignored Aria, as she continued to panic. "So, there's no way out of this? None? I'm stuck being a killer for the rest of my life? God will never forgive me, and I'll never get into heaven!" Cindy yelled, crying like a baby while turning to hug Amy.

"Hey, Come on. You're getting snot all over me, idiot!" Amy said. "Jeez, just calm down... or I'll smack the shit out of you!"

"T-this is all you guys' fault, anyway! If I never fell for your flowery words and deception, I could've remained pure! That was my real test that The Lord sent, and I failed!"

"Oh, so now it's our fault, bitch? You're the one who agreed to join us. We gave you a home, a job, money, power, and friends. What the fuck else did you want from us? What, you thought you could just join a group of assassins and just leave any time you like? Stop acting like a fucking baby already, Cindy; just shut up and do your fucking job!" Amy yelled, grabbing both of Cindy's shoulders. "You're with us now, and there's no turning back. You understand?"

"B-but... I don't wanna!" Cindy argued. "You're all liars! You said nothing bad would happen if I decided to leave!"

"Um, that was before you actually became an assassin, remember?" Amy said, scratching her face.

"T-then, why didn't you tell me all of this before I joined?!" Cindy wailed.

"Cindy, I'm sorry," Ben said. "Amy, take it easy on the poor girl, please."

"Why? It's for her own good at this point."

"Maybe, but... Listen Cindy, we just thought that you'd be a good fit here. I mean, look how much you've progressed in aura; in such a short amount of time to boot! I just knew it, when I saw that look in your eyes. Hm, you probably never even noticed yourself," Ben chuckled.

"W-what look?" Cindy asked.

"You do so well to cover it up, too. Those cold, dark eyes have seen hell already, right?" Ben asked.

"N-no," Cindy lowered her gaze. "I was just fine on my own. I don't wanna be here anymore! I-I hate all of you! You're all just liars!" Cindy screamed, clinging to her cross necklace.

This text was taken from Royal Road. Help the author by reading the original version there.

"Oh, so we're not cool anymore? You're suddenly better than all of us, just because you got scared shitless and started clinging to god?" Kai said angrily.

"Y-you're the reason I'm in this mess!" Cindy yelled, pointing at Kai. "Cancelled... If I had just cancelled that damn ride that day, none of this would've happened. And then, I had the nerve to wait on you like an idiot; all for a crumpled up twenty dollar bill," she continued as she chuckled, almost manically. "Please... I just wanna leave. Just help me leave! I-I'm stronger now; I have aura. I'll defend myself for as long as I can, so please just take care of Jon. I-I'm begging you," she said, her voice croaking.

"C-Cindy..." Kai said quietly, helplessly watching his close friend break down even further.

A slap to the face instantly came the half-elf's way, courtesy of Aria, who could no longer take the woman's insufferable ramblings. Cindy still just knelt in place, silently crying, holding her cold prosthetic limb to her bruised right cheek.

"Woman, I've said this before: show some damn dignity!" Aria yelled.

"I can't," Cindy said, life slowly draining from her eyes. "I'm not cut out for any of this. I'm not cut out for anything," she continued, staring lifelessly at the empty floor beneath her. "I could never reach God. I could never go to heaven. I'm nothing but a dirty sinner; been one all my life," she chuckled softly. "I stole from people without a second thought. I scammed innocent people out of their hard-earned money. Worst of all, I-I killed someone!" she began to cry again. "I tried so hard... to play the tough guy, to make it seem like I was one of you. But I'm not, I'm just not. I-I'm so sorry. You've all been so kind to me. You were right, Amy. You've all helped me so much, now I'm just tossing it all away. But, I can't keep wearing this mask anymore. It hurts, it just hurts too much! So, I don't care if I don't have any dignity or pride. I just... I just wanted to live a normal life."

"God, what ever are we going to do with you, dear Cindy?" Aria said, softening her glare. "You're the furthest thing from normal at this point. I must ask you this: Why join us in the first place, apprehensive as you are about killing others?

Cindy hesitated to answer for a while, wiping tears from her eyes while trying to compose herself. After a short pause, she replied hesitantly. "I-I was just so tired of being alone. I wanted a home, a family, a place that I could truly call my own. I figured... that I could go through with it, if I killed for my family. But, I just don't have it in me. I'm sorry. I wish I could stay here with all of you. You all are so amazing and strong; much stronger than I'll ever be. I-It was fun, too. I learned so much from you guys. Especially you, Director Aria. I had so much fun just drinking and hanging out with you all. But, I need to accept my reality eventually, before I do something that I'll regret forever..." the half-elf explained, red bags clearly visible below her eyelids.

"Cindy..." Kai muttered, tears falling down his face. Ben and Amy were also quite hazy eyed as the half-elf poured her heart out.

"What else?" Aria scoffed, a strong glare reemerging.

"W-what?" Cindy asked.

"That speech was quite lovely, dear Cindy, but please do not take me for a fool. I'm asking you why else you joined us. Answer now, or I'll kill you," Aria demanded, standing composed with her arms folded.

"Okay, that's enough, sis-" Amy said.

"It's okay!" Cindy interrupted, a nervous smile encompassing her face. "I-I'll tell you.

Aria was the only one to see through Cindy's bluff. The half-elf was not lying, but she was also not telling the full truth. An embarrassing truth, that Cindy would've liked to remain a secret, now had to be shared in front of her peers. The room was quiet as they all looked on at Cindy in confusion.

"T-there is more to it than that, you're right, Director Aria," Cindy said, her voice croaking again. "I did want a place to call home, but I also wanted... I wanted to be stronger. I'm so pathetic, dammit," Cindy muttered. "Even when I first met you guys, I could tell... that you were unbelievably strong. Strong enough that no one would be stupid enough to cross you. Strong enough to do whatever you fucking pleased! I wanted to get so strong, strong enough to run straight back to my hometown, pay my grandfather a visit, then gouge his damn eyes out. I'd do the same to my father as well. I-I'd find every single person that broke me, hit me, and beat me, when I was just trying to survive. I'd beat them all within an inch of their lives while I laughed at them. I-It would serve all those fuckers right for the way they treated me, the way they abandoned me! That's what I was thinking as well... when I decided to join you. Not just for family or a home. But, also for my evil and selfish thoughts! I clung to religion as soon as I got the chance, claiming I was saved. You were right, Aria, but... I just wanted to be a better person. I wanted to make those thoughts go away, but they just wouldn't leave. I'm no better than any of you, I just pretended to be. Hell, I might even be the worst person here. My mother would be so ashamed of me... but I'm trying to change now, I-I really am. So, please forgive me, mommy,"

Cindy poured her heart out; all of it, with nothing left out that time. She was on the floor crying profusely once again, comforted by the group of killers around her. Even Aria was taken aback by the half-elf's speech.

"Dear Cindy... that was quite marvelous," Aria said, clapping her hands with a smile. "I think I do like you after all."

"B-but I-"

"Just shut up, Cindy," Amy said, patting her on the back. "I'm glad you were finally honest with your feelings. Feels good to let it all out, right?" she smirked.

"Y-yeah, I guess it does. But... I still want to be better, to be a Kristian. How can I do that if I have to keep killing?"

"We'll work something out!" Ben said, wiping tears from his face.

"Director Ben... what do you mean?" Cindy asked.

"If you're really serious about this, I think I got a plan that will make everyone happy!" Ben explained with a smile, giving Cindy a thumbs up.