The morning workers meeting didn't last long. Most of the workers were shouting questions at Billy about the upcoming war, but he simply made a quick statement that amounted to "Stay out of the way, keep inside the barracks, and it will all be over pretty quickly and you can get back to work." After that he left to talk with the mercenaries camped next to town.

Ozzy didn't like the feel of things. Not enough people in town, Billy was grumbling about Vern, Vern was barely around. He hadn't seen much of Layla or Sammy either. Most people grabbed the boring if filling food and headed off to work.

There was a lot of debate about how to "stay out of the way" and still get their work done. Some things could be skipped like the quarry and woodcutting. But fields needed tending, butchering had to be done for the legion contract, and beer made for the tavern. Suzette wondered about that. She doubted that putting up a 'no fighting in tavern' sign was going to do much.

Suzette grabbed the other three and they ate their muffins and tea down by the stream and continued brainstorming about tier 2. She shared what she had confirmed about getting stats to ten and earning bonuses. All of them would be picking up at least two bonuses. More if the bonuses from tier 2 classes counted.

Ozzy easily had CON and STR to 10, and could try for CHA. Rolly could spend some points to have both WIS and CON, and might be able to pull off DEX as well. Ben would have to make some decisions, but if he spent his remaining points on raising his stats, he could get two of DEX, AGI, or CHA to ten.

Suzette was trying to recall the exact wording of the rules, as she told the others about her discussions. "My source was a bit cagey about that part. Almost like he was trying to not take notice of it, but hinting at me that I should look at it. Players get the bonuses as soon as they earn them, but I think our contracts push that off to tier 2."

"Which ACME and the other corporations would like us never to get to. That much has become obvious. We've all had to work hard and get lucky to get where we are." Ben, more than the others, disliked the rules ACME forced on them. "But I feel like for every restriction ACME places to restrain us, there's another loophole somewhere we can exploit. Case in point, they pushed off those benefits to tier 2. But because of that I think we can count the bonuses we get from our classes to hit ten in a stat. That makes things much easier for all of us to get two, or even three stats to ten."

Rolly looked at his sheet for a second. "That does change things. I can get DEX as well as CON and WIS. I wonder how many players manage to get multiple stats to ten or higher. It gets better the more you can get to ten. If there is a benefit for each combination of stats, then three stats to ten gives three benefits. And four gives six benefits! You should totally exploit that Suzette."

"I think I just might. I wonder what all the benefits are? Guess we’ll find out."

Ozzy scowled at his sheet. "Yeah, I could do that and actually raise CHA up to ten. Not something I'd really considered. What would be the benefit of STR and CHA? or CHA and CON?"

Ben smirked "Why, a large and perfectly sculpted body, making you popular with the ladies. I hear you're already working on that."

"Don't even joke about that. Those women scared me."

Ozzy scratched his head, undecided.

"I'm sort of torn on spending enhancement points. There are a couple of little skills that would be fun, but I can also see the benefit that stats always bring. High CHA does make it easier to deal with people and I can always pick up skills later. And I'll have a few points left over I think. None of my other stats can realistically get to ten, I just don't have the skills that raise those stats."

"So, when do we go to tier 2? I want to catch up with Squirmie. And are you eating that last muffin, Ben?"

Ben tossed his muffin to Rolly. How he could eat so much still astounded all of them. "Tough call. If we wait, ACME might change something to stop us. But it would be nice to see how this little war goes. If we end up moving, does that change anything? I'm pretty set on Imperial Courier."

Rolly shook his head. "Nope, not for me. Bonded Shepherd either way."

Ozzy scowled. "I don't want to think about having to remake my pit, or even if I could, but I think I'd still stick with Pit Master. How about you Suzette?"

"Well, I wanted to go with Succubus of Gadobhra, but I need Ozzy to take the Pit Boss class. How about it, big guy? I found out that I got the job offer because I already have a big strong man who will protect me and owns a pit to burn souls in. Think about the team we'd make. I'd raise an army of soulless minions from our friends, and you'd torture what was left of them. We could climb the ACME corporate ladder with those skills."

"We do? Oh, sure, we do. This is the Team Evil option, right? Ben would have to take Inquisitor."

Ben stood up. "Sorry, but if that's the way the wind is blowing, my watch says 'Time to get the hell out of town.' Guess I'll be on the road for a few years."

Ozzy rolled his eyes: "In the immortal words of Homer Simpson 'Sure, I'm flattered, maybe even a little curious, but the answer is no!' Besides, I think there's already a guy with that job up in the city, and no way in hell do I want to be even noticed by what's in there."

Ben wiped his brow and let out a long sigh. "Whew, Ozzy is holding the line against Suzette's deviltry. We are saved."

"ACME is a lot more likely to not worry about tier 2 if we all have classes that are essentially improvements on our old classes. With that in mind, I'm leaning towards Tavern Keeper. One option is to do it now. What if we leveled up tomorrow morning when Billy and Vern are too busy to notice? We can assign points and raise stats now, then move to tier 2 on the first day of the war."

Ozzy considered that but frowned. "Feels like getting pushed into something because of their dumb war. It would be nice to see how many more points and skills we can accumulate before moving up. Especially having a dungeon to explore, the lower tunnels under the town, and maybe even the city."

Suzette shrugged. "I'm fine with waiting. Ben?"

"Yep, wait and see."

Rolly got up. "I'm fine with that. But I have to go see if there are any leftovers, and then Squirmie and I need to go move some of the cows around a bit. Less drama if I move the young ones off to another meadow away from Betty. She's a bit on edge right now, about to drop another couple of calves. How about we do sedgebeast again for lunch Ozzy? And then we can all sneak off to the dungeon tonight. Even at 1 enhancement point per boss, they add up; and the fights are pretty easy. I wouldn't mind a bit more experience, even if we have to grind it out on trash mobs."

Ben started counting on his fingers. "Rolly, hasn't that cow given birth at least three times now since we arrived? How the hell is that possible?"

Rolly put his arm around Ben. "I knew we needed to have this talk someday, son. See, when a mama and papa sedgebeast love each other very much...hmm, no... let’s start over. When Ferdinand sees a cute little cow that he hasn't been out with on a date..."

The author's narrative has been misappropriated; report any instances of this story on Amazon.

Ozzy interrupted, "Hey, what happens at the corral stays at the corral. It's a rule!"

Rollie's eyes got big. "OMG, it is a rule! Shit, sorry Ben, I can't explain it to you."

"I think I've figured it out," Suzette said, "It's the dark mana."

"Dark mana makes them breed quicker?" Ben was more confused now.

"Yep. There is some weird cycle. The city is leaking dark mana. The trees keep it locked up so it slowly leaks out and the sedge grass grows best where there is the most mana. The cows love to eat the sedge. The dark mana is getting processed. By the time the sedgebeasts get roasted by Ozzy, or eaten by a monster, the dark mana is pretty much spent. To keep up with Ozzy slaughtering them, the sedgebeasts breed faster. Stupid circle of life stuff."

The other three thought about this. It did sort of fit, and Suzette could see the magic as it rolled around under the trees and got soaked up. Ben was the most skeptical. "But who the hell would set something like that up?"

Rolly raised his hand, waving it like he was in grade school. "Oh, I know this one. It was druids."

"Druids?"

"Yes, druids. Lyle keeps complaining about weird dreams telling him to plant more trees and make sure the herds keep breeding. He says there is supposed to be a druid here to oversee things, but since there isn't, he's stuck with the job now."

Suzette spread her hands and bowed. "And there we have it. Proof that my theory about why the cows breed like bunnies is correct."

=*=

The night was quiet again at the tavern. Suzette closed early and the group headed down to the basement. She decided she should warn her friends about possible changes.

"Just to let you all know, it seems the dungeon was listening when we talked about how easy it was. Maybe it hears things because I was there? I don't know. Anyway, it thanked me for the suggestions, so it might be a bit different tonight."

"It thanked you? How?" An intelligent dungeon wasn't something Ozzy had considered before. Could it be negotiated with? More variables than he could think of.

"I got a message like we normally get, but this one said it was from someone named Wispyburble, the Under Rodent. Lots of titles. Maybe the last boss in the dungeon? Generous too. She gave me 8 enhancement points for helping her improve her dungeon. So, I think we should be really careful."

Rolly was excited. "Oh, cool! A Better Dungeon is a great idea. "

Ben wasn't so sure. "OK, so we go in ready for a fight, and don't take it for granted it's going to be one boss at a time. We need to pay attention! And we go in slow and cautious. And as long as I get 100 experience I can toss to DEX, you can all die horribly afterward."

Ozzy eyed the bug. That was a lot more intelligent than he had taken it for. Hell, he might be smarter than Rolly in some ways. "Well, I spent my points already. Pretty set, as long as that theory about the class points work. I'll have CON, CHA, and STR. I didn't have to use a lot of my enhancement points so I spent the rest to upgrade my taunting ability, and get more STR."

Ben eyed the corded muscles on the butcher’s arms and neck. "More STR? What are you up to? Ten now?"

"Oh, I was at ten before. I just went to 13. Every point of STR adds +5 to my damage. Never a bad thing."

Ben lifted an eyebrow. "Bloody hell. That's just monstrous. Let's go try it out."

Suzette made the group, and they all stepped into the swirling portal.

[You have entered Lair of the Under Rodent sponsored by Bludgeon Dark

The twists and turns of the Lair of the Under Rodent are always changing! You have entered into a random area of the upper levels. The small tunnel you came in by has collapsed mysteriously behind you. Can you find another way out?

=I=

Welcome back Suzette, Keeper of the Dungeon]

"Yep, it talks to you alright. Why does that scare me?"

Rolly had changed into his armored form with his scythes out and scanning the area for foes. They were in a large hall, about thirty by forty feet long and with a thirty-foot-high ceiling. Roughhewn beams crossed the room near the ceiling with lights hanging from them by chains. A few rats eyed them from up top. There was one hallway leading off into the distance. Around the room were several large rats the size of sheep dogs.

[Weasletongue the VERY Clever invites you to Round 1: Attack of the ROUS!]

Ozzy started yelling at the rats. "ROUS? More like mouse! These cheesediddlers barely come up to my ankle". No ROUS likes to be called small, and Cheesediddler was especially insulting. They all lunged at the butcher and attacked his ankles and shins with sharp teeth.

[You have been bitten by a ROUS! You take 11 points of damage.

ROUS misses you.

Rous bites you for 14 points of damage

Rouse bites you for 15 points of damage.

Rouse bites you for 8 points of damage.

You ignore the minor poison from the ROUS bites.]

Rolly leaped over a ROUS, attempting to do a flip in the air and nearly accomplishing it. Ben yelled at him, "What the hell was that?" His whip hit one of the ROUS, and it burst into fire as he fed mana into Flaming Brand. Suzette hit the same one with a Solar Arrow and it went down. The combination of two RAD-based attacks lit up the room and drove off the rats watching in the rafters.

"I need AGI experience!" Rolly dodged over another ROUS, and then attacked with both arms, his scythes hitting twice and killing another monster.

Ozzy began to hit the ROUS with his bare fists. It took only two punches to demolish the skull of one of the large rats chewing on him. The next round was similar to the first and all the rodents were dead. Ozzy had taken a total of 62 damage from the horde of ROUS, his tough skin and leather clothes mitigating most of the damage.

"That wasn't so bad." Rolly was checking the rats for treasure and finding not so much as a stale bit of cheese.

As soon as he said that, a high-pitched voice seemed to echo down the corridor. "Hah, that was just to lull you into a false sense of victory. Next, while you are cheering yourselves, I unleash my fiendish 'Horde of Weasels.' Good plan, huh? I am so smart, yes I am."

[Weasletongue the Very Clever has unleashed his latest horrible idea upon you: The Horde of Weasels!]

A few weasels ran down the corridor but didn't enter the room. They looked normal-sized, but their beady little eyes were focused on the people in the room. A dozen followed them with more behind, and then a tide of small furry bodies could be seen running toward them. Hundreds and hundreds of sharp-toothed predators were racing towards the cul-de-sac they were trapped in.

Ben looked at Ozzy, "I think you pissed them off with the Cheesediddler comment."