"If I'd known some of you would take vacations before returning, I might not have waited for you. Next time you plan on dying, fill out the paperwork first."

It had taken all of Billy's willpower to hold off getting his loot from the Gopher War. Suzette had mentioned to Layla that waiting for the dead people to return and doing it together could raise morale before the raid on a crypt full of flesh-eating ghouls. Layla pitched it to Billy as a team-building exercise, and he agreed. It tested his patience when Ben and Rolly took a week to return.

No one took his complaints seriously as they clustered around the large treasure chest. Billy had profited from their 'vacations' with a huge amount of intelligence that his courier had gathered while in the Imperial Capital. When you put several dozen Franklins in one place, sitting and listening to their stories gave a lot of insight into the politics and backstabbing among the nobles. Ben had added to his knowledge by reading genealogies and history books he found at Franklin House, a few of which were stored in his ring for later reading. He'd spent a long night with Billy and Layla dissecting the knowledge and using it for future plans.

Rolly had returned but stayed in the meadows and forests around Gadobhra for several days before anyone knew he was back. He'd been visiting the Sphinx, training baby wyverns, and doing other 'shepherd stuff' that he didn't explain. Several farmers, though, had told a strange story about the underworld, a Shepherd who rescued them, and an army of warriors. Walking back from Death changed a person, and such was the case here. The five farmers he had escorted stood taller and were more confident than before. They considered their horrible deaths at the hands of the gopher army as a mark of pride and an initiation into a society of warriors. Morale in the hamlets was noticeably increased.

Most of Rolly's time had been spent with his fast-growing little wyvern and hatching another clutch of eggs he had found. Something or someone was stirring up the wyverns that lived in the swamps near Rowan Keep. The hungry creatures loved certain types of plants and were following trails of mutant horseradish and pepper plants to the construction area. So far, Rolly had caught six of the saboteurs, and Squirmie scored sixteen. Wings for aerial surveillance were handy. Wearing protective gear made by an alchemist, they dug up plants near an abandoned dwarven stronghold and replanted them on the trail to Rowan Keep and along a stream that led to the swamps. More and more of the vicious reptilian monsters were traveling to where the tasty food was. Rolly and several workers took time each day to hunt them down and dig up the plants. It was probably a losing battle, the wyverns were thick around the dwarf hold and here to stay, but they hoped to keep them away from the keep until it was finished.

Rolly had started training one baby wyvern he saved, and as she grew and turned into a superb stock herder, he saved every egg he could find. Each of his new junior shepherds would raise their own baby wyvern, carefully training them to herd the flocks around the hamlets. Luckily, they could train them with sedge beast calves. A wyvern that got too aggressive and tried to eat one of the calves got a quick lesson in why that wasn't allowed. A hoof to the face went a long way in teaching lessons to intelligent reptiles. Rolly fed them on leftovers from the nightly butchering sessions, with fish for treats.

As soon as both his errant workers were back, Billy had insisted on the seven of them visiting the very large loot chest sitting in a muddy field next to a foul-smelling hole in the ground filled with bones and gopher dung. "Let's start this looting party and then kill some ghouls." He bowed to Layla. "After you, my dear." She stepped up to the chest, touched it, and a splendid red cloak with a mantle of black fur settled onto her shoulders.

Mantle of the Protector

The ruling Ladies of Gadobhra wore this cloak for generations, signifying their commitment to protecting their lands and people.

Grants the boons of +3 STR and +20 mitigation.

She stroked the fur and smiled. "This will do. Maybe there's a matching cloak in a shorter size for Barons?"

Ben whispered to Rolly, "I'd design the Baron version with neck protection and armor plates on the back."

Rolly smirked but kept a straight face and whispered back. "Maybe with an enchanted eye looking backward? I still don't trust that woman."

"And you trust Billy?"

Now Rolly did smile, "Don't have to worry about Billy; he's Ozzy's special project."

They watched as Billy approached the chest. He touched it, and a glowing glass sphere appeared the size of a bowling ball. Purple and grey smoke swirled inside as he stared at it, enraptured.

Layla bent over it. "Ooh, pretty. Let me see."

"Away from my pretty treasure, Harlot! It's mine. This powerful artifact is mine alone!" He pushed her away with one hand, trying vainly to hold the ball in the other hand. It fell and rolled along the ground until Squirmie pounced on it and flew up in the air. Billy took several steps toward Squirmie.

"That's mine, bug. Give it here; I did not ask you to handle that."

"I've got a nice wand of ectoplasmic missiles back at ACME HQ that I'll trade you for it. I also have a spot on my trophy wall that's your size. Up to you."

Billy carefully took off his cloak and wrapped the sphere up in it. Layla rolled her eyes. "You aren't going to brag about your new treasure? Give us a hint."

He shook his head. "Such as this is not for you."

Ben clapped his hands. "Well then, who's next? Me? Sure! The brave courier will see what the gophers have for him" He put one hand on the chest, and held the other up above his head triumphantly. "As foreseen by the wise ones of the mountains, I have returned to claim what is mine!" He winked back at the group, most of which recognized the scene from the play, The Last King of Pittsburgh.

There was a flash of white light, and a very long sword appeared in his outstretched hand. If Ben was surprised, he hid it well, turning and flourishing the estoc before striking a heroic pose. As he raised it above his head, thunder rolled, and a brilliant bolt of energy flashed from the sky, traveling down the blade and into Ben before grounding itself in the earth. The sword sparkled with small electrical arcs running up and down the blade. Ben was covered in soot, and the soles of his boots had been blown off.

This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.

He lowered the sword slowly. "Healing potions and strong drink? That really, really hurt."

Rolly started healing him. "The gods are assholes; remember that. Strange chests bearing dubious swords is no way to run a world."

Ben nodded in agreement but smiled as he looked down at the weapon.

Glitterspark, Coruscating Sword of the Last King of Pittsburgh

'...and when the last king comes to claim his own, his right hand will be filled with lightning and his left with cold iron...'

Storm Enchanted Silverite Estoc

Thrusting Damage: 300 + 5 additional points for each point of DEX or STR over 10. This weapon negates 200 points of mitigation when thrusting.

Blunt Damage: 100 points plus 5xSTR.

Storm Magic Channeled through Glitterspark and into a foe will be twice as effective.

Ben collapsed to the ground, and Ozzy helped him pull off his burnt and still-smoking boots so that Rolly could heal his feet. "I foresee a detour to Sedgewick for new boots. Maybe you should insulate the heels the next time you make a set. That thing might be a natural lightning rod."

Ben agreed. "Maybe some sort of insulated socks."

Rolly liked that idea. "Cotton is good, but I bet Sphynx wool is better. Adrianna has a ton of it and would love a project like that."

While the boys discussed electrical-resistant socks, Suzette took her turn. An amulet made from a natural crystal attached to a light gold chain came into her hand. "Put this on me, Ozzy dear. I think this is perfect for dark and dangerous dungeons."

Phial of Elder Starlight

Created at the dawn of humanity by a Fae Lord who loved a mortal, it will give light in dark places if worn by someone with mortal blood.

When worn by a descendent of the Fae, the Phial helps them to see the truth behind illusions.

"It's pretty, that's for sure, and saves on spells and torches. Seems a little low-powered coming from a high-tier chest. She nodded. "It does appear that way, yes. But magic is fickle."

Ozzy had to agree with that.

Squirmie flew up and hovered over the chest, catching a glowing ring as it fell from the sky. Before anyone could see what it was, the bug started chewing on it, swallowing it in seconds. She burped loudly, making everyone flinch, but nothing happened. She settled on Rolly's shoulder for a nap. Rolly approached the chest, snapped his fingers, and said, "Shepherd stuff." A large ram's horn appeared. He looked at it briefly and blew lightly into it, producing a clear note. In the fields around them, every sheep, cow, or unicorn raised their heads before going back to grazing. Rolly tied it to his belt. "That will do." Ben tried to identify the item, but all he got back was 'A musical instrument made from the horn of a Ram.' Because it was Rolly, he was immediately suspicious. Ozzy was as well, but he'd leave the mystery to Ben.

He walked up to the chest and touched it, saying nothing that might tempt fate. A pair of heavy leather boots with wooden soles appeared at his feet.

Ivaldi's Dwarven Work Boots

The dwarven smith, Ivaldi, long despaired at how fast his boots wore out. The fires of his forge, sky lightning, and hoarfrost took their toll on even the toughest leather, leaving him shoeless as he walked home through the cold tunnels. His wife, not wanting to be a widow before their 500th anniversary, pestered him to create a better pair of boots. Using scraps leftover from the construction of Frey's ship, Skidbladnir, he made a pair of heavy dwarven work boots that kept his feet dry and warm and could resist the rigors of his workshop. The wondrous boots had one flaw: they were uncomfortable and made too stiff. When he was later asked to craft the golden hair of Sif, he also made himself a pair of padded socks.

Nigh-Indestructible Work Boots. When worn with the matching pair of golden socks, they provide 50 points of resistance to storm magic and 10 points of physical mitigation. Made to fit anyone from a gnome-ling to a son of Ymir, they resize magically to fit all feet.

He tossed his old boots to Ben for the walk back to Sedgewick. Putting on his new socks, he wiggled his toes. "Damn, these feel great." He made a show of putting on the boots while Ben stuffed his old ones full of hay to make them fit.

The last of its loot dispersed, the chest disappeared, and to everyone's surprise, was replaced by a huge stone plinth. The names of those who had fought in the war and those who had fallen were on its surface.

Upon this spot, the Gophorian Behemoth was defeated by a rag-tag army led by General Ozymandias and Baroness Layla. We commemorate those who fought in the war and say special prayers to those who died. Let no one forget the first invasion of the Giants of the Earthen Realm.

There was an ominous rumbling from the cave the farmers were clearing. It subsided quickly.

Billy whistled for his horse and mounted up. "Let's go kill some ghouls before something else happens." Everyone else followed him to Gadobhra. Layla asked Billy at least four times about the strange magic item he had received, but each time he told her, "Sorry, too good for the likes of you."

Ben noticed that Squirmie giggled uncontrollably each time. "What's so funny, bug?"

Squirmie finally quit laughing.