"For the last time!" yelled Miguel. "I'm not watching One Piece!"

"It's a masterpiece! Hundred times better than the live action!" yelled Jedan.

"Yeah. And it's a hundred times longer as well!"

"It's only got a thousand episodes!"

"Yeah. And the first 50 was summed up by 8!" yelled Miguel.

"What are you guys yabbering about?" asked Anna.

"ONE PIECE!!!"

"Y'mean that one anime everyone's talking about?" asked Anna.

"You watched it?" asked Jedan.

"No," said Anna.

"Then stay outta this," said Jedan.

Anna sighs and goes back to knitting.

Miguel rolls his eyes. "Lord! OP or OPLA!?"

"Both," said Lord.

"Disgusting," said the pair.

"Haps?" asked Miguel.

"OP," said Happy.

"WHAT!?!?" asked Miguel.

"HA!!! Athena!" yelled Jedan.

"OP!" smiled Athena.

"Gerard!? Fred!?"

"OPLA," said the pair.

"HA!!!" laughed Miguel. "We need a tie-breaker. Imma call Prometheus!"

"No fair! He's your variant!" yelled Jedan.

"Reaps doesn't care!" yelled Miguel.

"Aight! Then let's just ask the Reaper!" smiled Jedan.

"Reaps! OP or OPLA?" asked Miguel.

"I don't care," said the Reaper.

"Ms. Persephone?" asked Miguel.

"I also do not care," said Persephone.

The pair just, watch a movie about a former cannibal eating meat.

"What... What the fuck are you watching?" asked Jedan.

"Did you know cannibals eat meat in a certain way?" asked the Reaper. "They tend to fetishize the meat they're eating. You could also tell they're psychopathic behavior of having no regard for other people. I mean, I am not surprised. Rather..."

"...enamored?" asked Persephone.

"Exactly," said the Reaper, as the pair chuckle.

"R-... Right..." said Miguel. "So, Ms. Persephone. You a zombie... or...?"

"I am a Bride..."

"Like... His bride...? Or...?"

"No. She's what you call Frankenstein's Bride. The feminine version of Frankenstein's Monster. She was reanimated likely by one of Dracula's Frankensteins."

"A group of Franks, actually," said Persephone. "They tore most of my... weaker body parts... and attached stronger ones... 'Cept my brain, my faces, and most of my head... and vaj."

"Too much info," said Miguel.

"Hm..." said Persephone. "You're a hybrid, correct?"

"Uh..." said Miguel.

Persephone closes in toward Miguel's face.

Miguel turns red. "How do ya do?"

"Chillin'," said Persephone.

"Miguel. That's a corpse and I'm here," said Anna.

"Right..." Miguel backs away and hugs Anna's head.

"What the fuck are you doing?" asked Anna.

"Uh... Romance?" asked Miguel.

"Hm," smiled Anna.

Fred beats a rabid gigantic rat in the background and runs away. "SHIT!!! GERRY!!!"

Did you know this story is from Royal Road? Read the official version for free and support the author.

"ON IT!!!" Gerard zooms at the rabid giant rat and decapitates it. "DIE, HEATHEN!!!"

*knock, knock!*

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" cackled a deadly old enemy.

Miguel's eyes squint. "That laugh... I know that laugh... I HATE that laugh..."

Aurora, in a maid costume, opens the door. "HYAHYAHYAHYAHAYHAYAHYAHYAHYA!!! Hello, Prince..."

Miguel teleports in front of her.

Everyone prepares their attacks.

"Aw! Did you miss the Princess of Darkness?" sneered Aurora.

"What... the fuck... are you doing here?" growled Miguel.

"What? I was here the whole time!" she sneered. "Plotting... Conspiring... Machinating the perfect revenge..."

"You should've stayed BURIED!!!" growled Miguel, before jumping up, transforming into his Diwata state, and preparing a heavy punch toward her face as Aurora easily just strikes a singular punch that makes Miguel vomit blood.

"Pipe down, boy. It may have been a while. As long as you're in Draculand grounds, you are diplomats. So am I. We have no right hurting each other. Not here, at least."

"Since when did you start following the rules...?" asked Anna,

"Since you humiliated me... My pride... in front of the entire Multiverse..." growled Aurora.

"You tried harvesting Miguel's BLOOD!!!" growled Jedan.

"To save my world! And for my own selfish reasons... BUT-!!!"

"But what, Aurora," said the Reaper, pointing his finger at her face and walking toward her. "You are an abomination. A humiliated child who lost the toy she wanted for Christmas. You... are... NOTHING... And if you think that you have the right to ask for our help..."

"'ASK FOR YOUR HELP!?!?' I'm here to put you in your place..." She sneers. "Lord Dracula, would like to see you in the penthouse." She bowed before them.

The Reaper's eyes quiver.

"He wants the two of you... Miguel and Anna..." said Aurora.

The door opens... and Dracula could be seen feasting on meatballs.

"Please... sit..." he sneered.

Miguel and Anna stare at Dracula.

"Alcohol?" sneered Dracula.

"Milk, please," said Miguel.

"Yeah. I can't drink alcohol," said Anna.

"Why?" asked Dracula.

"Underage."

Dracula sneers upon hearing that. "Sure. THAT'S the reason... Hmhmhmhmhmhm..."

Dracula pretends to have a seizure and bears his fangs. "GRRRA!!! GRRRAAAA!!! LOOKIE ME!!! I'M MIGUEL AZRAL!!! I'M A SPECIAL CHILD!!! I DON'T KNOW WHAT A FUCKING CHAIR IS!!! SIT DOWN, BOY AND GIRL!!!" He licks his fangs. "If you know what's good for you..."

"What's for dinner?" asked Miguel.

"Oh. Don't worry. Yours isn't human..." sneered Dracula.

"And what are you eating?"

"A serial killer and a genocidal dictator... seared in onions, no garlic, and fried with oregano, pepper, salt, cinnamon, and *sniiiiiiff* basil..."

"And ours?"

"Venison," said Dracul.

Miguel and Anna sit down. Miguel smells both their meals. Miguel nods to Anna.

Anna smiles, trusting Miguel.

"OH, PUH-LEASE!!! I essentially had an innocent deer slaughtered and cooked for you, and you eat it. But when I feast on the flesh of a dictator and a serial killer, EVERYBODY GETS ALL UPPITY!!!"

"We don't eat Humans," said Miguel.

"Why? You are clearly above them!"

"We're still part Human."

"Are you? I had... a different experience from it all." Dracula just keeps eating and eating, gorging human meat into his mouth. "Mmph! Yes... When I was a child... I was born Vlad Dracul... In my universe, I was quite poor. The history books saying I was born a Prince? Poppycock. I was abandoned by my father... Placed in the doorstep of the Dracul royal family. I... was forced to raise an army against the Turks in service of... The Church... CHA!!! FUCK!!! *SNIIIIFF!!!* Skewered them... Skewered all my brothers and sisters... With my father not knowing what I really am... A Turk. HEHEHEHEHEHEHYAHYAHYA!!! After I died, I was reborn... a Vampire... Trained in the arts of Usog... and here we are... HERE... I AM!!! I RULED OVER YOUR PEOPLE!!! I BECAME A GOD TO YOUR PEOPLE!!! AND HOW DO YOU REPAY MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!?!? YOU REPAY ME WITH SCRAPS!!! A REBELLION!!! And so-called... 'Diplomacy' or however you Humans call it..."

Dracula teleports in front of Anna, wrapping his claws around her neck.

Miguel instinctively tries punching Dracula but Miguel immediately teleports in front of Anna, pointing his knuckle claws at her neck.

"What...?" asked Anna. "Miguel...? Why-?"

Miguel backs away. "He... has some sort of power."

Dracula sneers, now back in his seat.

"You can teleport."

"You could say that..." said Dracula.

"Why are we here?" growled Miguel.

"Because, bitch. I eat people. And so should you."

"So?"

"So, I'm suggesting one thing... And I mean one thing only... I want... Prometheus... to crown me Dark Emperor... Of Humanity... If not, I'll kill him. This... This is the *SPITS!!!* diplomacy your adoptive grandfather oh-so loves... THIS IS IIIIIIT!!! Deny it, and I'll kill him... An all-out war will be brought to your nation. *SNIIIIFF!!* Well...?"

"I'd like to take that challenge," smirked Miguel.

"Miguel..." said Anna. "You can't answer on behalf of Prometheus. You CAN'T... START... A WAR... We negotiate."

"Anna. What's there to negotiate? He's a bloodthirsty monster," said Miguel.

"And you're an Aswang," sneered Dracula.

"I'm only a Hybrid."

"You're so much more... And don't you DARE... DENY ME OF THIS!!!"

"Well... I would like to-..." smirked Miguel, only for Anna to grab his arm. "Fine... Let's talk. If I beat you-..."

"Oh my God..." Anna facepalms.

"This conversation never happened... And you can't do the war... But if you beat me..."

"MIGUEL!!!" yelled Anna.

"Oh, Anna. This is why every Anna leaves Miguels..."

Anna turns to Dracula, terrified.

"If there's one thing Miguel lusts for more than you, it's their lust for BATTLE..." sneered Dracula.

"Anna. Don't listen to him. I know how to predict his attack," said Miguel.

"And if you don't... God! Don't you know HOW WORRIED I AM ABOUT YOU?!?! YOU KEEP DOING THAT!!!"

"Doing what!?"

"KEEP GETTING YOURSELF KILLED!!!" yelled Anna. "I'm SCARED... For you... Miguel."

"Just lemme do this one fight..." smirked Miguel.

Anna looks a little hurt by Miguel not listening to her, and most of all, scared.

Miguel bites his finger, thinking he'd figure out how to fight Dracula. He lets the blood drip down his finger. He counts the blood on the table.

Anna gulps.

"Time-skip... Jedan fought a time-skipper. He MUST be able to skip time somehow without us noticing... If I count the number of drops my blood makes... And it multiplies... I can detect where he is..."

And... there are more drops of blood on the floor.

"HA!!! THERE!!!" Miguel is horrified to see that the corner is empty. He feels Dracula's breath behind him.

More blood drips on the table. Miguel is... horrified. He feels pain in his back.

He's... been doughnutted. Dracula punched him in the chest from behind.

Anna grabs her mouth, tearing up and crying.

"I suggest you never challenge me again... Then... the war begins... NOW!!!" Dracula kicks him, pulling his spine and heart out from his body as Miguel's body goes limp.

"MIGUEL!!!" sobbed Anna.

"UGH!!!" Dracula pretended to cry. "BUGHHUHUHUHU!!! SHADDAP!!! HE'LL HEAL!!!"

Anna sobbed. "You fucking IDIOT!!!" she sobbed.

"Just stay quiet and fuck off, woman. He'll grow a new spine! Just let the fool rest!"

Miguel vomits blood and has a seizure.

Dracula laughs. "LOOK!!! HE'S DOING WHAT I DID EARLIER!!! KRYAHHAYAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AAAAAAAAH HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!"

Miguel has a seizure and his eyes go blank.

"Miguel!" sobbed Anna. "MIGUEL!!! MIGUEL!!!!"