Miguel sneers as he practices his strikes on his Mu Ren Zhuang, striking and slapping with his fists, only for Miguel to accidentally break one of its arm stubs. "Oh, crap..." said Miguel, seeing the damage he caused. "Hm... Aight... Better buy a new training dummy!"
Athena speaks up, whose clones were watching him. "Miguel, I could just fix the-..."
"Can't hear you! Goin' to the Market!" smiled Miguel.
In the Demon Market...
"ABORTION BALUT!!! GET YO ABORTION BALUT!!!" smiled the Vampire, selling strange... um... unbaked Humans, if y'know what I mean.
"Welp... I have an excuse to check out the market and find more training gear! Isn't that right, Brain?" smiled Miguel.
Miguel's Brain: "REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"
"Great work, Brain!" smiled Miguel.
Suddenly, a woman in a suit smiles, staring at Miguel, sneering. "Hm... Fresh meat..."
Miguel smiles, walking up to a stand. "Huh. Whaz that?"
"Blue Waffles! Wanna try?" smiled the merchant.
"I LOVE WAFFLES!!!" smiled Miguel.
"Miguel! NO!!!" yelled Athena, using her tiny clones to grab his hand.
"Thenes! What's wrong, blud?" asked Miguel.
"That's Human Vaj!" yelled Athena
"Ohhh... Thought it was blue 'cuz they added lobsters in waffles."
"Nope! These are the crotches of evil female warlords in China! We sell 'em good and evil! We roast them under a fine charcoal-..."
"Master Miguel! I think we should just... uh... Go..." said Athena, patting Miguel's neck while standing on his shoulder.
Miguel walks around the market before meeting a beautiful red-haired woman. "Oh! Hello, inconspicuous-looking ginger-haired woman! My name is Miguel!"
"My name is Itazura!" she smirked. "I am a Kitsune!" She transforms into a Fox Humanoid.
"I am an Aswang!" smiled Miguel, transforming into an Aswang, sneering.
"Whohohohoa!!! I HIT THE JACKPOT!!!"
The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.
"I don't see no pottery nearby," said Miguel.
"Haha! You're a hilarious idiot!" smiled Itazura.
"I uh... Why are you speaking with us?" asked Athena.
"Fun fact! I'm a psychic! I can tell you're some kinda... uh... teacher?"
"I'm a fighter!" smiled Miguel.
"Right! And because of that you're looking for training materials!"
"Whoa! How'd you know?"
Athena facepalms.
"I'm training to be the strongest INDEED!!!" smiled Miguel.
"Then step right up and get in my van!" smiled Itazura, opening the white van she has.
"Okay!"
"Miguel. No," said Athena.
"Thenes, Come on! This is Itazura we're talkin' about! Don't try anything with her!" smiled Miguel, as Itazura gives him a star sticker. "Holy shit! Thenes! She just gave me a gold star! She must be a teacher!"
"No. Miguel. She is literally trying to kidnap us."
"Why don't you do anything about it?"
"Because YOU TOLD ME NOT TOO!!!" roared Athena.
"Right. 'Cuz you're a... sl... Servant..." said Miguel.
"Use that word again. I fucking dare you to," growled Athena.
"Sorry, blud. Alright! Athena! Let's get in the bus!"
"Fine," sighed Athena. "Plus. It's a van."
"Don't listen to her! It's a bus!" smiled Itazura.
"See? Bus!" smiled Miguel.
Athena's eye twitches.
The pair (along with Athena's clones) enter the van as the van drives away.
Later... the van reaches a strange old warehouse. Yes. Again, with the warehouses from the fanfiction...
"Why is it always the warehouses?" asked Athena.
See?
Suddenly, Miguel is brought to the warehouse by Itazura.
"In here!" smiled Itazura, as Miguel enters the warehouse, only for a sack to be placed over his head.
"This part of the bargaining?" smiled Miguel.
"MIGUEL!!! THEY'RE FUCKING KIDNAPPING YOU!!!" roared Athena.
"Oh..." said Miguel. "ATHENA-!!!"
"Not so fast, motherfucker..." said Itazura, taking out a gun.
"A gun?" asked Athena. "Seriously?"
"Yeah... Seriously?" asked Miguel.
"This ain't JUST a gun... It's bullets are laced with GARLIC SYRUP!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!" laughed Itazura.
"S-So...?" asked Miguel.
"It's POISONOUS to Aswangs!!!"
"That's propaganda... You have to make me bleed first before you poison me with-... OH SHIT!!! SHE'S GOT A GUN, ATHENA!!!"
Athena gasps. "Put the gun down, you frick fuck foogaloo..." Athena's army of clones begin enveloping her.
"Oh! Sure! Any step closer and I'll BLOW HIS BRAINS OUT!!!"
"Why!?"
"I'm gonna force you to sign... THIS!!!" smiled Itazura, revealing a contract.
"Oh my God... IT'S A WRITTEN EXAMINATION!!! ATHENA!!! KILL HER!!!"
Athena's clones march forward.
"What? NO!!!" yelled Itazura. "If he signs this contract, he gets these products!"
He sees a mountain of cans of fish food and training equipment. "The fuck...?" asked Miguel.
"I'm promising you shares if you invest in these fish foods and training equipment, I'll give you MORE money later!" smiled Itazura.
"Oh, cool! AAND I get the fish food?" smiled Miguel.
"Miguel. This is a pyramid scheme," said Athena.
"Pyramids? Like... Mummies and shit? Dude... I WANT to become a Mummy! Silly Athena!"
"No. She's forcing you to buy all that through a pyramid scheme. It's like... you're promised money, but if you're late to the party, you get nothing. Those who invented the scheme are the ones who get all the money, which is... Itazura."
"NO!!!" yelled Miguel. "Athena! HELP!!!"
"HYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEAHYEA!!!" laughed Itazura. "SIGN IT, MIGUEL!!! SHAKE THIS POOR SINNER'S HAND!!!"
Miguel teleports out of Itazura's arms and dropkicks her.
Itazura cackles. "Oh, please! It's not like you'd be able to hit a-!"
Miguel grabs the gun, breaks it, and proceeds to beat the shit out of her. "GENDER EQUALITYYYYYYY!!! Athena, beat her up with me!"
"GLADLY, MASTER MIGUEL!!!" Athena's hundreds of tiny clones beat down Itazura.