Thomas slams a book in front of me. Even larger that the Code and Conduct book I had received before — and had yet to finish. Just to add insult to injury, he tosses a small pamphlet on top, then another large one on top.

"What's…this?" I ask, hoping it's not what I think it is.

"New York law," he says while pointing to the first book. "Miranda rights." The pamphlet this time. "And… active U.S. laws and legislation with a copy of the constitution and its amendments."

He looks me dead in the eye and says, "You have to memorize this."

"But why?"

He teleports behind me and smacks the back of my head. "If you read this, then you'll know that, under all technicalities and implied powers, you are an officer of the law. You have the power to arrest, rescue, resuscitate, maim, and many, many others. Good luck." He walks back around the coffee table, teleporting away.

The tv blinks on. A bluish-gray grid fills the screen with an orange sine wave across the center. It starts bunching up as Aria's voice rings out. "Don't worry about being stuck here for hours on end. I'll stay here with you. Not physically, though that might be obvious."

I deign not to answer and instead turn to the daunting pile of legalize.

Let's see… Criminal laws, family laws, statutes of limitations, employment, accident and injury, etc. Yeah, this is going to take forever. No wonder people say lawyers suck the life out of everything. If they had to read this, then I would want to ruin everyone's day too.

'Deceptive trade practices may be characterized by disinformation, false claims, and other misleading tactics that are intended to lure the public into buying a product or service.'

What, so like if a car dealership rolled the odometer back, then that would be a deceptive trade practice? That's such a roundabout way to say someone lied.

Ugh, alright. Miranda warning.

'You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be provided for you. Do you understand that rights I have just read to you? With these rights in mind, do you wish to speak to me?'

I'm hungry.

Walking into the kitchen, I'm met with the sight of Sophia staggering around. Her spider lower half smacks some pots onto the floor, and her wavering legs are barely supporting her weight, which leads to random movements. Honestly, she looks punch-drunk.

"Uhh, Sophia? Should you be— I don't know— in bed?" I sidestep to avoid being stabbed through the foot with her leg. Clacking fills the kitchen as Sophia sweeps around to face me, her legs tapping on the tiles.

"It's fine. I'm just…grabbing a snack." She waves me off with one hand, and a snack bar in the other, but I recognize that wrapping. It's that brand that manages to put a cubic meter of fine sugar in EACH bar.

With everything I saw in her office, I wouldn't be surprised if she had some digestion skill that helps break down the sugar molecules. I mean, how else does she not have diabetes? Maybe it's because she's a spider—Arachne; that shouldn't do much though.

"That's not healthy. You should eat meats and vegetables," I chide, almost like a mother scolding her children. "Follow the food pyramid. Get some grains and dairy too."

"Pyramid—Shyramid. Calling it a pyramid… implies at least three more sides, including the bottom. Sugar's at least on one of them."

Taking advantage of her weakened state, I mentally blast her. Her spine stiffens up, and hands relax. In her pause, I Jump and grab the enemy of every health nut.

The tale has been illicitly lifted; should you spot it on Amazon, report the violation.

[ Through repeated actions skill: Jump(Major, Passive) has ranked up to Jump(Maximum, Passive) ]

The flooring softens as I turn it into a form of mud, shoving the bar into it, then undoing the spell.

Sophia pulls her lips into a thin line, and displeasure is clear on her face. "I would make a point right now if not for the fact that I cannot use magic right now, and being physically weak as a side effect makes me feel dissatisfied. Fine, I'll eat something better."

She opens the fridge and pulls out a banana. I guess that's better.

"So what is my dear husband having you do?" She says while peeling the banana. "I saw some books in the living room. Big ones."

"Law study," I reply. I edge towards the fridge, Sophia stepping back, and I grab a pre-wrapped sandwich out. Hmm, mustard, turkey, provolone, lettuce, and bacon all on rye. Yeah, that's good.

"Oh, I remember doing that. It was…not fun." Sophia gazes at the cabinet with a thousand-yard stare, and her towering figure stills. "Good luck. If you want some better resources, you can use my books back in my office."

"Wait, I can still get in there?"

"Yeah, you're keyed into the security. The room is soundproof too—just in case you want some peace and quiet."

————————————————————————————————————

The Hero's Guild is— how do I say this? It's frantic. People, both heroes and workers, are running around like ants that are under attack. They're not even looking where they're going with how many times I've been hit in the last thirty seconds.

Nineteen times, by the way.

A familiar, red cloak flashes past, and I instinctively grab onto it. Before I'm aware of anything, a bronze dagger is being held to my throat; the blade itself is humming and visibly vibrating.

Rose's hard scowl softens when she realizes who she is threatening. "Hey, Alice."

"Uh, hey, Rose? What's going on?"

She sighs and scratches her head. Not really effective with her hood on. "Multiple things actually. First, I caught one of those… 'sexual offenders,'" she says in air quotes. "I wish I could say my preferred term, but some big shots are keeping an eye on me."

I hold my tongue as she coughs. I don't know what to think about these big shots. Is it that council I met before? "Secondly, we got a message saying that two new heroes are transferring here from Oregon and Illinois."

"Do we know anything about them?"

"Not really. The transfer really just happened, so all the paperwork is still up in the air." That's disappointing. I'd like to know more about potential friends or enemies, but fine.

"What about the guy you caught?"

"Technically my dad caught him. He was about to do it right in the alleyway next to us, so when my dad was taking out the garbage… He got physical."

"Oh."

"Oh, indeed. Yeah, what's worse is that the perpetrator can use magic. Which technically makes him a villain, and also makes it so we have a lot more paperwork to fill out instead of having the police do it."

"So did he throw fireballs at you or something?"

"Something. Kid could turn invisible. The high school he went to obviously expelled him too, and his family is essentially breaking down. 'He's a good kid.' 'He would never do this.' 'Stop these false allegations!' It's just a nightmare; especially since they got a lawyer here."

"Sounds rough."

"Yeah, anyway, I have to get back to work. See ya!" She darts away, jumping back and forth across the hallway.

Welp, let's see if I can navigate this maze. Mapping should help.

————————————————————————————————————

Mapping did not help.

The skill apparently breaks down when the area you're in does not follow basic euclidian geometry. In the end, I just had to ask for help.

So here I am, sitting at Sophia's desk, about to read a book on legal system.

And I'm about to turn the page…

*BAM!* The door swings open. Oh well, I guess I'll have to deal with whatever this is first.

A man with a blue cap and blue overalls walks in pushing a cart. He's wearing a light-blue collared shirt underneath; thick, steel-toed boots; and a very average face bordered with a buzzcut.

His bored look turns to shock when he sees me sitting in Sophia's chair. "O-Oh. You're not Mrs. Weaver."

"I'm not. I'm her Disciple, Silvernight."

He nods in understanding. "Ah, so you couldn't think of a good name either? Don't worry about it. Pretty much everyone here's bad at it." What? No! That's…partly true, but it wasn't what I was talking about.

"Anyway, when the bulb in the mail room lit up, we thought that she had returned. See, we were told that she was injured and out on leave while she heals."

"She is," I confirm, passively.

"Ah, okay. I should probably take these back then," he says while holding up a red envelope.

"What are those?" I ask, peering over the desk to get a better look.

"Mrs. Weaver's assignments. Let's see… Green's the basic stuff like patrol. Orange's are misdemeanors and the like; maybe someone is throwing a fit in the park. Red's urgent. Those rapists going around are in that one. Uh, there's a few more, but I can't remember 'em off the top of my head."

"Oh, okay." So that's how she decided what we were doing those days. It was just her desk job. Wait. There's something out of place in the cart. "What's that purple one?"

"Hmm?" He looks into the cart and pulls out the purple envelope. "OH, WOW! I haven't seen one of these in a while. Yeah, they're for assignments that haven't been judged on difficulty. Don't really know what to expect."

Procra— I mean, idea time! "If I were to open that, would I get in any legal trouble?"

"Technically no. You're Mrs. Weaver's Disciple, which I'd have to confirm, and that means you can take her assignments while she's out. Of course, any mistakes will be put on both of your records so keep that in mind."

"Can I?" I ask, hands outstretched.

"Hold on." He stops me in my tracks. He pulls a walkie-talkie off of his belt and clicks it on. "Hey, Cole? Yeah, it's me. Anyway, I need to confirm something. Does Space Weaver have a Disciple named Silvernight? Yeah, I can wait."

A minute passes. The walkie-talkie clicks again. "Hmm, yeah? Alright. Thanks."

He turns to me. "Here you go. One purple envelope. If you don't need anything else, then I'll just take these back to the mail room."

"I'm good."

"Alrighty then." He leaves the way he came and leaves me all alone.

I undo the strap the keeps the envelope close. It's a simple document. Apparently, the Park Rangers of a nearby forest preserve need assistance. Someone's been hiding out in the forest and show signs of magic. Cannot be a monster because most are passive in the forest and shelters have been found. Signs of disturbing the ecosystem. Signs of illegal poaching. Details below.

And it's in a nearby county, just a few hours away. This should be fine.