One of the skull's flaming eyes winked out as It roared in agony. EDI hobbled to the side as she felt the pain from Its attack radiating further up her leg. That Trojan program must be getting a better foothold in her, but she couldn't take the time to properly 'heal' herself. It seemed that something had hurt It. But yet EDI remained wary. She'd been fooled once before; this might be another trap.
She flicked her blades in front of her as she circled It. But the Reaper's avatar seemed to be ignoring her for the moment. It was thrashing Itsself around like a man trying to get rid of an annoying mosquito.
EDI kept all of her swords pointed forwards as she crept towards Its back while It jerked around.
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Shepard opened his eyes and heard the sound of mechanical screaming, like a dreadnought being torn in half. On pure instinct, he rolled to one side and cradled the particle beam weapon against his chest. Something huge and metallic slammed down right where he'd been. Shepard wasted no time in rolling up to one knee and taking aim.
Grunt hung to the face of the Human-Reaper by one arm as the huge being shook its head. The krogan had his mouth open and was apparently roaring in rage while trying his damnedest to get his gun into the other eye next to him. Grunt's yelling was drowned out by the hideous metallic scream from the Reaper.
One of the Reaper's arms was smashed into the ledge where Shepard had lain. Its other hand was still clamped on the edge of the ledge.
"Jack! Zaeed! Can you hear me?" Shepard could barely hear himself over the Reaper, let alone any response. First things first, then. The damn thing did appear to be vulnerable in the eyes after all. He brought up the beam weapon and tried to aim at the eye socket opposite Grunt. The white ray stabbed out and dug in a little at the edge of the socket. He quickly fanned it into the socket and saw one of the eyes inside it explode. The thing twitched its head away, preventing him from getting that socket's other eye and making Grunt flail around like a flag in a gale-force wind. Shepard saw Grunt's OMFG spin away and fall like a stone into the endless depths below.
The Reaper's remaining eyes twitched down and regarded Shepard with pure red hate. The Commander felt his teeth bared in a war smile as he aimed again.
Before he could make another shot, there was a huge boom to his left, from behind the metal arm. The outer eye that Shepard was aiming at simply vaporized under the force of Zaeed's explosive round. The Reaper's arm scythed away from Shepard as it tried to smash everything on the other side of the ledge. He saw Jack leap back and clear of the huge flailing limb, followed by Zaeed's yellow-armored form.
Zaeed didn't quite make it in time. A metal finger as big around as a telephone pole smashed into his side. The mercenary tumbled away and landed face-down. He didn't move.
Shepard couldn't take the time to run over and check on Zaeed. He turned again and tried to take aim at the Reaper. There was one eye left, but he couldn't take a chance at shooting it. Grunt was still swinging around in front of it, and he would almost certainly hit the krogan.
"JUMP, GRUNT!" he screamed, hoping somehow to be heard over the wails of the injured Reaper. But the krogan didn't respond; Grunt now appeared to be trying to punch out the Reaper's last eye.
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EDI lunged and sank three blades deep into the back of Its skull. She released them and left them embedded within bone as it spun to face her. But it was almost blind; the fires in Its eyes were now nearly gone. She easily evaded Its next wild charge, and took the time to plan her kill.
She feinted left but went right. It took the bait. For one second, Its temple was completely exposed. EDI did not waste time with any last-minute verbal gloating. Her blades flashed like lightning as she struck home.
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The Human-Reaper jerked, and its huge scream cut off like a thrown switch. It stopped its thrashing for a moment. Shepard drew in a breath and yelled again.
"GRUNT! JUMP OFF!"
Miraculously, the krogan actually obeyed. Grunt let go of whatever was holding him onto the thing's face and pushed off with his legs. The krogan fell forward towards the ledge as Shepard held his breath and went into accelerated mode.
Everything slowed. Grunt's falling form seemed to creep downwards, as if he was moving through thick syrup. The Reaper's remaining eye stood out in stark contrast to its dead twin next to it. Shepard took careful aim. He couldn't just wave the beam around; if it hit Grunt it would probably bisect him. He also couldn't miss. He had to kill it, here and now.
"This is for Ash, motherfucker," he snarled, and fired.
He didn't miss. The white beam speared across space separating him from the Reaper, and he knew that his aim had been true. The red eye exploded in a slow blossom of fire as the beam struck home and continued through the eye, deep into the thing's skull. The Human-Reaper's hand began to let go of the ledge, and its lifeless body began to slowly fall.
Shepard's triumph was short-lived. He shifted his attention to Grunt and realized that the krogan was not going to reach the ledge. He drove himself forward, willing his accelerated speed to allow him to reach the krogan in time to help. Maybe he could reach out and grab Grunt's hand...
But then his acceleration ended, and Shepard sprawled onto his front as he snapped back into normal time. He raised his head just in time to meet Grunt's eyes as the krogan fell below the lip of the ledge.
"NO!" He somehow got the strength to get up and keep moving forward even though his limbs felt like lead. "Not him! He's just a kid!"
Shepard fell to his knees as he reached the lip. He saw the chromed corpse of the Human-Reaper still falling into the seemingly endless deep below them. His panicked eyes darted around, looking for Grunt. He didn't see the krogan...and then he looked directly down.
Grunt hung by a knife he'd jammed into a crack in the biomechanical cliff face. The krogan was about five meters down from the edge. He looked up at Shepard and grinned. "I was wise to bring two knives, Battlemaster."
"Grunt!" he yelled in relief. "Holy shit, okay, just hang on..." He looked around in a panic. Zaeed was badly hurt, but Grunt was in mortal danger. He didn't have any way to get Grunt back up. Maybe he could use the straps from his weapons to create a makeshift rope? No, that wouldn't be long enough. He looked up at Jack as the biotic came running up. "Jack, we gotta get to him. We need something long, like a rope..."
Jack raised one eyebrow. "Hello? Biotic here? Can pick up shit with my mind? I'll take care of Grunt, you go and look after Zaeed."
Shepard's panic switched off. "Oh, right. Shit." He didn't even look back as he ran towards the crumpled form in yellow armor. He stripped off one glove and reached down. The merc still had a pulse at least. He looked down. No obvious wounds, but Zaeed had taken a hell of a hit. There might be internal damage. He had to take the chance and move the man.
Zaeed groaned as Shepard rolled him over on his back. "Fuck. That hurt almost as much as getting shot in the head."
"Zaeed? Listen, we're getting you out of here, just hang on."
The mercenary looked up with a smile that twisted his scarred face. "You should probably set the base to blow first."
Shepard took a deep breath. His brain was all over the place, he had to calm himself. "Right. You're right. Just wait here and don't die, okay?"
Fortunately the control console hadn't been smashed during the Human-Reaper's death throes. He jogged up to it as he realized he should contact the Normandy before doing anything else.
He heard Joker's voice as soon as he activated the comm. "Do you copy? Commander? Come on, Shepard, don't leave me hanging. Do you copy?"
"We're here, Joker."
"Thank the fucking gods. Good to hear you, sir."
"Good to be heard. What's the ship's status?"
EDI's voice cut in. "We have solved the issue with the port thrusters. I am also detecting no further signals from the Reaper. It is quite dead. However, I am detecting some motion deep in the base. I believe it is Collector reinforcements who have finally managed to burn through those blast doors. Estimate fifteen minutes before they reach your position."
He quickly thought through the path that he'd seen earlier on his map. "I can get us near the hull in less than ten minutes, but I'm not sure if there's a direct exit."
"We'll get the Normandy there, Commander," said Joker. "And we'll blow a hole if need be."
"Okay, sending you the coordinates now. I'm setting the reactor to blow in fifteen minutes, so if we don't make it back you need to get the hell out of here."
"Understood, Shepard," replied EDI. "Good luck. Logging out."
Half of an N7's training involves covert ops and improvisation. A big part of that improvisation is how to make things go wrong in an explosive fashion. That training, coupled with EDI's clear and concise instructions, meant that it took Shepard only a couple of minutes to set the Collector's reactor to blow. He set a timer for fifteen minutes right after making the last connection, and then jogged back over to the rest of the team.
Grunt stood over Jack and Zaeed. Jack had propped up the mercenary into a sitting position, and looked up at Shepard as he ran up. Her usual sardonic look was gone; she looked genuinely worried. Grunt's face was also set in concern.
"He can't move his legs," she said.
"Spinal injury, I bet," rasped Zaeed.
Shepard breathed out. "Shit. It's okay, we'll fix you up. But we gotta go. In fifteen minutes we get swarmed with Collectors right before this whole place turns into vapor."
"You're leavin' me here," said Zaeed with finality.
"No, I-"
"Shepard, listen," said the mercenary. His face looked oddly calm. "I'll just slow you down. You know I will. And if the Collectors show up early I can make sure they don't cancel the detonation. I know you wanna live up to your last name. I know you wanna bring us all home. But me, I'm already home. Fightin' and killin' on the battlefield is what I live for. I always figgered on dyin' with my boots on. We got fifteen people rescued, plus our own crew back. One life for nineteen is a goddamn good trade."
While Zaeed spoke, he fished a half-smoked cigar out of a pouch followed by a battered lighter. He lit the cigar and blew out a great cloud of smoke. "So you all get the fuck out of here. Tell Chiefy to get good an' stinking drunk for me. An' give Jessie a proper Viking funeral, okay?"
Jack and Grunt looked at Shepard. The krogan looked even more impassive, and Jack's eyes were wet.
The Commander crossed his arms. "Are you done?"
"What?" Zaeed looked puzzled.
"Because we need to be leaving. And that means all of us leave. Grunt, would you mind doing the necessary?" He gestured at Zaeed.
The krogan nodded with a huge grin. He picked up the mercenary and slung his yellow-clad body over one shoulder like a sack of potatoes. Zaeed's cigar and lighter clattered onto the ledge as he yelped in surprise.
"Shepard, damnit-"
The Spectre's voice was still calm. "Like I said, Zaeed. All of us or none of us. I always mean what I say. You should know that by now."
Shepard sprinted over and grabbed his beam weapon before the four of them ran from the chamber. Well, three of them ran. One of them bounced on a krogan's shoulder and trailed a stream of curses which would make an Alliance Marine go pale.
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Harbinger's voice resounded around them as they ran. "HUMAN. YOU'VE CHANGED NOTHING."
"Fuck me, he does like to talk," muttered Jack.
Shepard gave a short, gasping laugh. "He does at that."
"YOUR SPECIES HAS THE ATTENTION OF THOSE INFINITELY YOUR GREATER."
A huge rumble nearly threw them off their feet. "Joker?" asked Shepard.
"Sorry, Commander. Just giving you a more direct route out. We thought you could use it."
There followed the clicking of a few remaining Collectors behind them. Shepard turned and casually cut the stragglers in half. "I'm really beginning to like this gun," he said to nobody in particular.
"WE WILL FIND ANOTHER WAY."
"And we'll be waiting, you son of a bitch!" yelled Shepard. He turned and ran after the others. They came to a huge hole which had been torn into the side of the corridor. The edges still smoked slightly. Beyond the hole was a tunnel with melted edges, and beyond that was the white shape of the Normandy. Her hull was now far from pristine. There were gouges in the paint and scorch marks all over her surface. But it was still the most beautiful thing Shepard had seen in a long while.
More clicking came from behind them. Shepard gestured at the others. "Go!" Jack and Grunt ran down the tunnel towards the ship while Zaeed continued to explore the depths of his vocabulary. Shepard switched into accelerated time and shot the six Collectors chasing them. But beyond those enemies was a black moving wall of Seekers that was heading right for him. He muttered a curse himself and then ran down the tunnel. He heard the chittering of the biomechanical insects close behind him.
Ahead of Shepard, Jack gestured. A long piece of debris became surrounded by a blue field and then floated over to span the gap between the exit of the tunnel and the airlock of the Normandy. Grunt and Zaeed were first across the improvised bridge, followed by Jack. As Shepard ran up, a tremor ran through the base as the reactor began to go into its own death spiral. The piece of scrap fell away, leaving a large gap between the mouth of the tunnel and the airlock. He looked up and saw Jack and Grunt's panicked faces in the airlock. He couldn't stop to find another piece of junk. If he did, the Seekers would be on him in no time.
He focused all of his attention on the edge of the tunnel. He had to time this just right. As he pounded up to the gap, he leaped at the last possible second. Shepard wasn't in accelerated mode, but time still seemed to slow to nothing as the lip of the Normandy's airlock edged ever closer. He wasn't going to make it, his hand was going to be short by mere inches...
Grunt's meaty paw clamped onto Shepard's wrist at the same time that he was surrounded by a blue glow. The combined krogan-and-biotic yank all but smashed him into the inner airlosck door. Jack yelled "ALL IN!"
The outer door closed. They slewed away from the base as the Normandy got ready to run like hell.
"Hang on, folks!" yelled Joker over the intercom. "I'm flooring it, so this is gonna be rough!"
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"I AM RELEASING CONTROL."
The Collector Chieftain looked down at its manipulators in puzzlement. For the first time in...ever, it had no commands resounding in its head. The insectoid alien clicked and looked around the small room, then up at the holographic tank in front of it.
The image of something resembling a robotic cuttlefish met its gaze. "YOU HAVE FAILED US," said Harbinger, and then its image winked out.
The Chieftain was at an utter loss. What was it supposed to do now? Its masters had left them. But then the Chieftain rallied itself. It had to take stock, get its subordinates together, and see what resources they had. They still had a base. The Collectors could rebuild and begin the great work again. Once they had a new gestalt entity under construction, then they could try and re-contact their masters. The Old Ones would see the Collectors' worth and welcome them back...
Its planning was interrupted by a wall of superheated plasma moving at nearly the speed of light.
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Behind the fleeing Normandy, there was a bright light that for a moment outshone the galactic core. The delta shape of the frigate winked off into FTL flight before the shockwave could reach it.
Inside her main airlock, Zaeed glared up at Shepard's relieved and smiling face.
"You owe me a new lighter, you fucking asshole."
Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.
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After what they'd just been through, the transit back through to the Omega Four relay was almost routine. EDI was able to activate the IFF without a hitch, and was also able to get even more data on the relay network behavior during the transit.
Shepard and the others made their way down to the medbay. Access panels gaped open and cables still hung everywhere in the corridors. During the field repairs to the Normandy, the crew hadn't bothered with aesthetics.
A good chunk of the crew as well as all of the exit team were in the mess. Shepard was surprised to see the four rescued crew also in the mess. All four had been cleaned up and given coveralls to wear. Everyone looked up as they came around the corner. Zaeed dangled in Grunt's arms, and his mismatched eyes glared at them as they all rose to their feet in concern.
"Fer chrissakes," he growled. "Sit yer asses down or I'll make 'em sit. One little spinal injury an' everyone goes to fuckin' pieces."
They all sat as Grunt continued on into the medbay. Through the medbay's windows, Shepard saw the krogan set Zaeed down on a bed indicated by Dr. Chakwas. She immediately began removing his armor while the krogan stood nearby. The Commander also noted that the other rescuees were stretched out on the floor of the medbay.
Jack stumbled over to Donnelly and sat in his lap as she embraced him. "Don't think that us bein' tired is gonna get you out of sexy-time duties, Assface. I just punched a Reaper in the nads with my brain, so I'm horny as fuck."
The engineer just chuckled and stroked her shaved scalp. The man looked about ready to pass out. Hell, they all did.
Shepard slumped into an available seat. He looked around and realized there were a few of the exit team missing. One of them in particular he wanted to see. "Where's Tali?"
Garrus had Kasumi in his lap as well. She'd apparently fallen asleep, so he very gently indicated the medbay. "In the AI core. Legion got banged up during the exit, so Tali volunteered to repair him."
If it had been anyone other than Tali, Shepard would have simply nodded and then passed out in his chair. But he hauled himself back up with a little groan and made his way into the medbay. He noticed that Grunt was already curled up and asleep next to the door.
Dr. Chakwas looked up and gave him a curt nod as he walked through. He knew it wasn't rudeness on her part, she was just focused on fixing Zaeed. The mercenary gave him an embarrassed "Shepard," as he passed. Shepard smiled and patted him on the shoulder.
Lucy and Sheila now also wore some coveralls. They were apparently tending to the other unconscious captives from Imorkan, who were laid out towards the rear of the medbay on inflatable mattresses. Sheila looked up as Shepard walked by. "It's done?" she asked.
Shepard paused his walk. "Done and dusted," he replied. "That fucking place is now just its component atoms."
Lucy shook her head in disbelief. "I finally realized who you are. You're that Shepard. I thought you were dead."
He shrugged. "I got better."
Sheila smiled. "Well, Commander, let us know if you ever are in the need for some company. No charge, ever."
Shepard gave an exhausted laugh. "I appreciate the offer, but I fear that I'm spoken for."
The door to the AI core hissed open, and Shepard walked through. Legion lay stretched out on the same bench they'd had him on before activating him. Tali was digging in the depths of his leg while muttering. Oriana hovered over them both, handing tools to the quarian as requested.
Legion's head-light twitched over to look at him. "Shepard-Commander. It is good to see you operational."
Tali nearly dropped a probe as she spun around. "John!" Shepard was nearly knocked off of his feet by Tali's resulting pounce. She wrapped her legs around his hips and clamped her arms around his neck. "You little bosh'tet," she muttered in his ear. "No problem, you said. You didn't mention having to fight a damned Reaper."
"It was a bit of a surprise to us too," he responded as he hugged her back just as fiercely. He noticed that one of EDI's boxes had scorch marks on it. It appeared that the connections to its neighbors had been hacked apart. "Er, EDI? What is that?" He pointed one hand at the damaged processor.
The AI sounded smug. "I was attacked with a Trojan code by the Human-Reaper during your fight with it. I was able to shunt the code into one processor unit, and had Tali physically isolate it. This will allow me to study it safely and develop some countermeasures."
"It's the first real piece of Reaper code we've been able to capture," said Tail. Her voice was almost slurred with her exhaustion as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Creator-Tali'Zorah," said Legion. "Repairs to this platform can be postponed. Platform integrity not in jeopardy."
"Seriously, you both need some sleep," added Oriana. "I can take over the repairs from here. Legion can guide me."
He felt Tali relax against him. "If you're okay with it..." she said, a little hesitantly.
Oriana met Shepard's eyes, and she smiled. "Commander, get her out of here. She's about to pass out on her feet anyway."
Shepard nodded. "We all are, I think."
He walked back through the medbay with Tali still curled around him. Her helmeted head already nodded against his shoulder as she fought to stay awake. Shepard noted with amusement that Lucy and Sheila were now sleeping next to Grunt. One of them had placed a blanket over the sleeping krogan's bulk. Zaeed was also zonked out and now face-down while Dr. Chakwas ran a scanner over his back.
"How is he?" asked Shepard.
The doctor gave a slight shrug. "He's stable. I'll need to do a full scan to determine how much nerve damage there is. He's looking at a minimum of four months for repair and rehabilitation."
Shepard smiled. "Oh, he's gonna love hearing that. What about the people we rescued? Mordin mentioned something about Collector nanomachines."
Dr. Chakwas pointed a thumb back and up towards Mordin's lab. "He's working on isolating them. But my understanding is that they're pretty well harmless by now. You should talk to him."
"I will." Shepard looked back at the unconscious former captives. "Um, what about them?"
"Mordin's got them in a medically induced coma. He figured it was safer for them that way. They're not in physical danger, but their mental state is unknown. And neither Mordin or myself are experts on mental trauma."
"Hmm. Do you know who is?"
"Our best bet is to head for the Citadel. I know a couple of therapists there who are first rate."
"That sounds good. I have to report to the Council anyway. I'll leave you to it."
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"Shepard!" cried Mordin as the Commander entered his lab. Tali stirred a little with the shout, and then promptly fell back asleep against Shepard's chest.
"Hi, Mordin," he replied. "What's the story with the Collector nanomachines? I noticed that our four captured crew are up and about."
Mordin grasped his lapels. "Have been studying blood samples from all Collector captives we rescued. Appears that nanomachines require a command signal broadcast by Collectors. They are currently inert and being broken down. Expect that human immune systems will eventually flush them out."
Shepard sagged a little more, this time with relief. "We caught a break, for once. What about the ones still unconscious? Dr. Chakwas said she knew some people on the Citadel that could help."
Mordin nodded. "Probably best course of action. Own experience with human mental rehabilitation is limited."
The Commander hugged Tali a little tighter. "Okay, then. Let me know if you find anything else. Otherwise we're heading at full speed for the Citadel. Did you get that, EDI?"
"Of course, Shepard. I'll let Jeff know and lay in a course. Now please, get some sleep. Logging out."
Shepard didn't say anything else, he just headed for the elevator. Tali should have been heavy in his arms, but right now she felt like a feather. Once he reached his cabin, he gently placed her on the bed. She didn't even stir as he set her down. Then Shepard began to struggle out of his armor. Fortunately it was made to come off fairly easily. There weren't that many catches to undo before the armor was a heap at his feet. Shepard didn't even remember falling forward onto the mattress and passing out.
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Donnelly awoke with the sound of happy humming. His view was that of a lovely green-armored bum which was instantly recognizable. He also felt oddly light, and then realized he was encased in a blue glow. Jack had him slung over her shoulder as she made her way towards their quarters, using her biotics to reduce her load.
"Shouldn't I be the one carrying you, lass?" he asked.
He felt one of her hands pat him on the arse. "Nah. You gotta save your strength."
"Ah. I see." Jack had mentioned she was terminally horny. Well, if he didn't survive the upcoming sex then he at least he would go out with a bang.
They reached his little quarters. Jack opened the door and unceremoniously slung him in the door and onto the bunk. With the bunk unfolded there was barely enough room for her to squeeze in as well. Donnelly began to get up as Jack stripped off her armor. "Here, let me help you-"
She pushed him back on the bunk with a genuine smile. "No. Just watch." Jack made a show out of removing every piece of her armor, and Donnelly couldn't deny that ,in spite of his exhaustion, the sight of Jack's form being slowly uncovered gave him fresh strength. Finally she stood next to the bunk clad only in panties and an undershirt. Her face had lost that lovely smile and was suddenly blank and unreadable.
"Er...Jack?"
Jack pounced on him and wrapped her arms and legs around him. She tucked her head under his chin and sniffed. Donnelly realized with a sudden shock that she was crying.
"Hold me and don't ever let me go," she said through her sniffling.
Donnelly was more than happy to comply. She felt light as a feather in his arms. "I can do that, lass."
"I remembered you," she said with a sob. "You didn't forget me, and I didn't forget you. That fucking thing tried to strip everything from my mind, but it couldn't take you. I remembered your name. And your name led me out of there."
He felt some tears of his own start up. They held each other as they both passed out.
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Shepard woke to find himself spooning Tali. Tali was the little spoon, of course. She had grabbed his hand in her sleep and tucked it against her stomach. He hugged her against him and thought about his experience in the Reaper's mind. It had unlocked some deep desires that he had always pushed away and never acknowledged. But now Shepard could admit that, yes, he had lusted a bit over Ashley Williams. And he knew from her borderline-flirtatious talking that the lieutenant had lusted after him as well. Only Alliance regulations and their mutual respect for each other's ranks had prevented it from turning into something real.
And that was one of the things that had eaten at him ever since the Virmire mission. What could have been. Well, thanks to that fucking Reaper he'd finally gotten a small taste of what life with Ash would have been like. And it would have been wonderful, for sure. But that Reaper's illusion also made him realize that he had to drop what might have been and focus more on what was, especially Tali. He had always felt a connection to the once-awkward quarian, ever since meeting her in that dingy alley on the Citadel. But he'd always dismissed it as 'just' friendship. It had taken getting blown to bits and getting patched back together to make him realize just how much he cared for her.
Tali stirred in his arms. "Mmm...Keelah, I stink something fearsome. Do you mind if I use your shower to clean myself?"
He nuzzled the top of her cowl. "Not at all. It should be pretty sanitized right now. Would you like some assistance?"
Shepard could her the amusement in her reply. "Well, I don't know. For some of the hard-to-reach places, I might need the help of a brave and brawny captain. Now where might I find one of those?"
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Exhaustion can only last so long. The interior of the ship was slowly being put back together as they made their way back to the Citadel. After everyone was patched up and caught up on sleep, the Normandy effectively turned into a flying party.
Donnelly dodged a pair of the crew as they whooped and ran through the corridors. He shook his head with a smile and continued on to his destination, which was one of the control linkages that had been exposed during the repairs on the Collector base. He just had to check it out and put it all back together properly.
He found the access panel in question, which was near the main crew quarters. Donnelly pulled out his probes and got to work. It was pleasant and unchallenging work, and he hummed happily to himself as he replaced the temporary repairs with something more permanent. He took one last look at everything and then closed the panel.
Donnelly was immediately encased in a blue glow and held immobile. He sagged a little. "Jack? Come on, lass, I do have a couple more of these to do."
"Later, dude," said Jack's voice from behind him. "You're missing the party."
To Donnelly, that was honestly a bit of a relief. After their escape from the Collector base, it seemed like the biotic had embarked on an experiment to determine if it was possible to kill a human male using repeated sexual intercourse as a weapon. Donnelly's spirit was ever willing, but his flesh was becoming increasingly bruised and weak.
He made a great show of sighing. "Okay, if you insist."
Jack snorted in laughter. "Oh, as if you have a choice." He began floating like a soap bubble down the hall towards Kasumi's lounge, with Jack staying behind him. The doors to the lounge hissed open and there was a great shout as Donnelly came drifting in. It looked like most of the crew was crammed into the space. The 'engineer' part of Donnelly's mind couldn't help but think that this was a possible fire hazard.
"Look who I found!" yelled Jack. "Now someone get this asshole good and drunk!"
The blue glow winked out, and Donnelly staggered when he could move his limbs again. A glass of something...green was thrust into his hand. There was a multitude of slaps on his back, and it was only through long practice that he kept from spilling his drink. He gave the room a general toast and took a sip.
Donnelly promptly coughed. "Ach, what is this?" It was tart and strong.
"Turian whiskey!" said Kasumi happily. The little thief had appeared next to him. "It turns out there's no bad proteins in it for us levo-types."
Garrus loomed behind her. From the turian's happy expression, it was clear that he had already sampled quite a bit of his 'hometown' whiskey. "It should give less of a hangover than that krogan stuff, eh?" he said with a grin. He and Donnelly clinked glasses. The engineer took another swig as he made the rounds of the party. It looked like Joker was doing duty as the bartender, which kept his fragile frame on the other side of the bar and out of the general melee.
Grunt had installed himself at one side of the main viewport. He had a large mug in one hand and an oddly beatific smile on his huge face. "Engineer!" he called out. "How are you?"
"Um, fine...?" It was an oddly enthusiastic greeting from the alien. Donnelly had probably exchanged less than twenty words with Grunt since the krogan had been decanted from his holding tank. He was even more nonplussed when Grunt stuck out a huge paw, clearly expecting a handshake. Donnelly went ahead and took the proffered hand, only to find himself pulled into a crushing bear hug.
"Thank you for being my friend!" said the krogan in a happy voice that would have sounded more appropriate coming from Kelly.
Donnelly found it hard to breathe. "Ooof...don't mention it Grunt, er, thanks for being mine."
Grunt released Donnelly and gave him a cheerful nod. Donnelly returned it and walked away in a daze.
The engineer found Zaeed off in one corner. The mercenary had acquired a wheelchair along with a reputation for rolling right over toes without warning. His scarred face looked oddly peaceful as he sipped on a scotch. Sheila lay curled up in his lap like a cat while Lucy massaged his shoulders.
"Chiefy!" he cried happily as Donnelly came near. "Looks like we're both gonna be members of the fake body parts club!"
Donnelly gave a worried look at Zaeed's lower body. "I thought your legs were okay."
"Oh they're fine. Some of my spine was crushed, though. They have to replace the bone with synthetics. They also gotta put in some artificial nerves." He shook his head. "Six months at least before I'm back up an' running."
"Oh, don't worry Zaeed," purred Lucy. "I'm sure we can make the time fly by."
Zaeed winked at Donnelly. "Fortunately not all of my nerves got damaged."
The engineer smiled and saluted them with his glass.
"Marcus!" That yell could only be Shepard. He turned to see his Commander with a beaming smile. He waved Donnelly over to his own little group. "Com'on over here! Have some...what is this again?"
"Serrice Ice Brandy," said Dr. Chakwas. She had a big smile on her face, which looked odd to Donnelly. It wasn't like the doctor was always frowning, but she did tend to look serious most of the time. Now she looked positively giddy.
Donnelly held up his glass. "It's all right, sir, I've already got a..." Another glass was thrust into his remaining open hand. He looked down at both glasses and shrugged. This was going to be one of those parties. He looked back up and saw Mordin there as well. The salarian looked even more cheerful than usual, probably due to the glass of brandy in his hand. Donnelly had once wondered what a drunk Mordin was like, and now he might get a chance to find out.
A sudden thought struck him. "Er, if both of the doctors are here, who's looking after our coma patients?"
"EDI is," replied Shepard. "Don' worry, she's keepin' a good eye on 'em."He then put an arm around Donnelly's shoulders. "Now, listen, I hadda idea about some modific... modofo...changes to my cabin. Let's talk about it later."
Donnelly gave his captain an amused look. "Commander, you're drunk."
"Marcus! The very idea!" Shepard's mock-hurt look lasted about five seconds before they both busted out laughing.
A whoop from the other end of the room caught everyone's attention. Jack jumped up on the bar. She was wearing her usual leather vest-and-hot-pants outfit. "Attention, my lovelies. Our very own Kelly Chambers has challenged me to a dance-off. I don't dance, but right now I gotta lotta booze in me so lemme tell ya, Ms. Perky Slut, it is oh fucking on. Make sure you all remember this good, ya buncha pervos, 'cause you ain't gonna see it again. Let's go, Perky Slut."
Kelly hopped up beside Jack as something loud and techno-flavored began booming out over the loudspeakers. The two figures began gyrating to even louder whoops from the crowd.
Donnelly was biased, of course, but it did seem like Jack was winning. By the barest fraction, of course. Kelly's more generously-endowed form contrasted nicely with Jack's slim and wiry frame. They swayed around each other in a manner that was less 'competition' and more 'prelude to something more than dancing'.
"Who is that?" Lucy had appeared at Donnelly's elbow.
"Er, which one, lass?"
"The one with the ink." The blonde had an almost predatory look on her face.
Donnelly smiled widely and managed to avoid feeling completely smug. "That's Jack. She's my girl."
Lucy gave him an appreciative wink. "You are one lucky bastard."
The whoops got louder as a cowled figure in a purple-and-black suit leaped up beside the two dancers. Donnelly's smugness turned to jaw-on-the-floor amazement as Tali began to dance. As good as the other two were, the quarian moved like she had no damn bones.
"Okay, now who is that?" Lucy didn't sound predatory this time. She sounded as amazed as Donnelly felt.
Shepard appeared behind them both. He sported a huge drunken grin. "That's my girl!"
After that the party really got going. The dance-off ended with Tali as the clear winner. The competition then evolved into excuse for most of the females on the Normandy to demonstrate their moves. Samara almost managed to beat Tali in the flexibility department, and Miranda even got out and showed her stuff. Donnelly had to admit that Miranda did pretty well, but avoided showing too much interest. There were limits to Jack's forgiveness, after all, and he did not want to be caught ogling the ex-Cerberus officer's ass.
And then the general call started. "Speech! Speech!"
Shepard was pushed to the front, and managed to vault up onto the bar without stumbling or spilling his drink. He held up one hand and the crowd quieted. "Alright, alright. I don't do speeches. Well, not big ones. I don't wanna make this all sad and shit, but I told you all about Vermire before. I just wanna drink a toast to the one I had to leave behind." He raised his glass. "To Ashley Williams," he said quietly.
"To Ashley Williams," everyone responded, and they drank.
Then Shepard got a big smile. "And one more toast, on a happier note. To those who went into the very heart of darkness and made it out alive. To the most beautiful group of bastards I've ever had the privilege to lead into battle. To the crew of the Normandy!"
That got a loud cheer and another hearty drink. Shepard's smile got even bigger. "And as your commanding officer, I declare that the next part of the festivities will be karaoke!"
There was a mixture of groans and cheers at that news. In the following singing competition, Shepard was unanimously voted the worst, while Mordin won hands-down.
Donnelly tried to keep count of his drinks, he really did. But his counting kept coming up with conflicting numbers and finally he gave up. His last, very hazy memory was of him actually dancing, which was ridiculous.
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Miranda looked up as Jacob entered the medbay. She sat near the unconscious former captives while checking their vitals.
"Didn't want to do karaoke, eh?"
She shrugged. "I figured I would make my exit after Shepard's speech. And I metabolize alcohol faster than normal humans, so if I wanted to get drunk I'd really have to work at it. It's not worth the headache." Miranda smiled at him. "What about you?"
Jacob chuckled. "Well, I had enough of Kasumi pinching my ass. I think it's just her way of saying no hard feelings, but I figured I'd leave her to molest Garrus instead." He took a seat next to her and looked at the sleeping forms of the ones they'd rescued. "Are they going to be okay?"
Miranda's face lost its smile. "Honestly, I have no idea. You know better than most what they went through."
He nodded. The armorer's face was also serious. "I meant what I said, back there in the Collector base. Having somebody else in my head helped. It helped a lot. Otherwise there was nothing to hold on to." He regarded the former captives again. "They must not have had anybody in there to hold on to."
Without a word, he reached out a hand. There was no hesitation as Miranda took it and gripped it like she'd never let him go.
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Donnelly woke to a pulsing hum that he initially thought was in his head. But when he opened his eyes the noise turned out to be the drive core. Its blue light throbbed above him as he lay in the little alcove off of Main Engineering. Surprisingly, he had only a mild headache to show for all of his debauchery.
Jack was sprawled face-down on top of him, apparently using him as a portable mattress. The botic was snoring and drooling into his shirt. She wore only her leather hot-pants, which was surprising. After that much booze Donnelly would have expected her to be completely nude.
As he stirred, so did Jack. She raised her head hesitantly and looked around. "How did we wind up here?"
"No idea, lass."
She groaned. "Errrgh. What time is it?"
Donnelly rubbed his forehead. "Fook that. What day is it?"