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Tango 'Til They're Sore
Chapter 35: Walking Spanish

Chapter 35: Walking Spanish

Shepard shifted his weight and tucked his helmet under one arm. "How long since we activated the drone message?"

"Two hours," replied EDI.

"Relax, Commander," added Joker. He was taking his own advice, and looked almost slumped in the pilot's chair. The Normandy now orbited much farther out from the relay than before, in hopes of being able to get ahead of the Collector ship when they sprung their ambush.

The Commander snorted. "I am relaxed. I'm just wondering how long we should give this before we try something else."

"We have no idea how long they take to get a ship prepped," replied Joker. "The standard Alliance time from receipt of distress signal to scrambling a rescue ship is about three hours. The Collectors could take even more time to get their makeup and nails ready-"

Joker was cut off by EDI's voice. "Omega Four Relay is being activated. I am detecting an activation protocol. This protocol is...not like anything I have ever seen before. Standby, processing. Yes, the relay is now coming online."

The larger display over Joker's head now lit up; the O-4 relay sat right in the middle of it. Its usual central red glow now pulsed, much more than the random flicker seen in a standard relay during transit. There followed an abrupt flash, and a small spark flickered into view beside the relay.

"Is that-" began Shepard.

"Yes," replied EDI. "Drive signature is similar to that seen at Horizon. The exact ship dimensions are not the same as the ship from Horizon, but is is a Collector ship. This one is smaller. I suspect that this is more of a 'strike' ship rather than a 'transport' like the other."

They saw a brief flash from outside the window as the spark went into FTL. "Plotting," continued the AI. "Using the data from the drones...yes, it appears that they are headed for our 'distress' drone's location."

Shepard felt a cold certainty in his stomach. All of the preparation was done, and now they were committed. "Go," he said to Joker. The pilot was already in motion, activating their FTL drive. Before Shepard could slam his helmet on his head, the ship was surrounded by the blue/red flickering of FTL travel. He activated the ship-wide comm.

"Attention, all hands. We did it, the Collectors are buying it. Stay at General Quarters until further notice."

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Donnelly patted Oriana on one pressure-suited shoulder. "Just relax. This is the worst part, trust me." The teenager nodded behind her helmet, her eyes huge. But her breathing still came slow and steady, which was good.

"Why is this the worst part?" she asked. Her voice was steady, which was another plus.

"It's the anticipation," replied Tali. Thanks to her environmental suit's backup capabilities, the quarian had never had to change into something more protective. "You know that you're headed into a serious action, yet for right now there's nothing to do but wait." The quarian stood near the drive core as she monitored their drive power. "Once the shooting starts, it actually gets easier to deal with."

Oriana faced her own board and gripped the edge of the console. "Yeah, I guess I can see that. I hope I don't get as used to this as you two are. No offense."

Donnelly laughed, feeling the sound reverberate inside of his hardsuit's helmet. "None taken. Only mad dogs and Englishmen really look forward to it. Speaking of mad dogs...hey Jack, you suited up?"

The biotic's voice sounded in all their helmets. "Yeah, Assface, I'm all set. You know, you do give me damn good head, I will give ya that. But that only gets ya so far. I figure I'll allow about ten more 'crazy broad' jokes before I squish your junk into a teensy-tiny black hole."

"Ach, you wouldn't hurt me. Where are you gonna find anybody else willing to put up with yer shite?"

He heard Jack's amused snort over the comm. "With this ass of mine? Buddy, I'll have 'em lining up around the block."

Joker's voice interrupted their banter. "Standby, about to exit FTL."

Donnelly set his jaw and called up the main tactical view on his display.

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The flickering blue nebula streaked past the window, then there suddenly a dark patch appeared ahead which expanded with blinding speed and engulfed the ship. They were now back in normal space. Shepard grabbed a nearby handhold and leaned forward to peer out the windows. It was a useless gesture, he knew. EDI could scan this space in a fraction of the time it took him to blink. But it still made him feel like he had control of the situation.

"Distress drone still transmitting," said EDI. "No other ships present. All stations report ready."

"We beat 'em here" said Joker. His own helmet was now in place, which muffled his voice slightly. "Good plotting, EDI."

"Thank you, Jeff...standby, picking up new arrival."

Shepard was lucky, and happened to be looking in the right direction to see the flash of the distant Collector ship exiting FTL. The newcomer became outlined in a zoomed-in detail on the display over Joker's head. It was vaguely cylindrical like the previous Collector ship, but definitely smaller. This was perhaps the size of an Alliance dreadnought, still maintaining the rocky and biomechanical look of its larger sibling.

Shepard straightened. He felt the little click in his stomach when everything was committed, when there was no more planning to be done. When all that one could do was forge ahead.

"Hit that fucker," he said, feeling his teeth bare in a feral snarl.

"Charging," said Garrus's voice over the comm. "Firing solution is plotted. EDI, you have control of the main cannon."

"Acknowledged, Garrus," said EDI. Shepard could hear a little hint of excitement in the normally even-tempered synthetic voice.

Shepard tightened his grip on the handhold as he felt the Normandy bank into an intercept course. He glanced at the main tactical plot above Joker's couch. The Collector ship appeared fixated on their 'distress' drone. Surely, they must be close enough by now to realize they'd been tricked.

As if reading his mind, the Collector ship began to bank away. "No longer on intercept," said EDI. Before she could finish speaking, Joker's hands were moving over the controls. "Correction, back on intercept. Nice one, Jeff."

"Range?" snapped Shepard.

"Almost there, Commander," said Joker. His hands had never stopped moving as he kept the ship aimed towards the Collector vessel, now twisting around in a clear effort to escape.

Shepard felt a little thrill in his guts. "How does it feel to be the hunted for once, you sonsabitches?" He could hear the growl in his own voice.

EDI's voice, in contrast, was now back to her usual cool and collected self. "Coming in range in three..two...one. Firing." Her last word, however, had some real satisfaction behind it.

A blinding pair of beams stabbed out from under the ship, reaching forward towards the barely-visible speck of the enemy vessel. The onboard lights dimmed as a huge rumble shook the Normandy. Shepard held his breath as he looked at the display overhead. The image of the Collector ship bloomed bright at one portion of its rear.

"Successful hit," said EDI. "We hit the bastards." It sounded like she needed a cigarette.

The Collector ship tumbled under the sudden impact. Shepard could see that a large angular chunk had been simply lopped off of the rear of the vessel.

"Oh, yeah," said Joker. "I think we took out at least one of their engines. They're not gonna walk that one off anytime soon." He sounded just as satisfied as EDI.

The Collector ship's control thrusters flared, and it stopped its tumble.

"How soon before we can fire again?" Shepard didn't want to give them the slightest chance to catch their breath.

"Sixty seconds," said Garrus' voice. "Metal reservoir still recharging. Standby."

A flare of remaining engines appeared at the rear of the wounded Collector vessel. Shepard looked at the overall tactical display and saw that the enemy ship had aimed itself fast and back along their path, back towards the Normandy. He nodded. It was what he would have done in their shoes, after all. When cornered, bare your claws and attack.

"They're heading at us, intercept course," said Joker. His face was set in a feral grin. "Guess we get to try our new shields, eh?"

"How much time to recharge the Thranix?" Shepard felt a little warning voice deep in his bowels. The Collectors must have know that this was not a good idea. The Normandy had much stronger shields now, plus the upgraded cannon which their foe had just gotten a taste of. Why were the aliens charging at them?

Garrus sounded like he was in a boring training drill. "Thirty seconds." Hearing his friend's frosty tone helped Shepard relax a bit.

The Collector ship was now actually a visible speck in the forward windows, and rapidly getting larger. "Twenty seconds to firing," continued Garrus.

Shepard could feel that there was a problem. His gut was screaming at him, and he had learned long ago to trust his instincts. "Not enough time. Something's wrong. Go to evasive!"

Joker was a trained Alliance pilot. He knew to follow orders, and didn't even hesitate as he reached forward for his controls. "Okay, Commander. But we're not in any real danger, what with the new shields..."

There was a flicker which ran through all of the displays in the cockpit.

"ALERT!" yelled EDI. "Kinetic shields are offline!"

Joker bared his teeth as he slewed the Normandy hard off to one side. The move threw everyone except the strapped-in pilot to the deck. A beam stabbed out at them from the charging Collector ship.

"No! Not this time, you fucks!" yelled the pilot. Shepard saw that the rocky vessel was changing course to keep up with them. It seemed the aliens thought that ramming was a perfectly fine tactic.

"Status of main cannon!" he yelled.

"Charged," replied Garrus. "You may fire when ready."

Joker danced his hands over the controls. "Down the middle, EDI!"

"Got it, Jeff."

The Normandy fired once more as Joker pivoted their craft. The beams cut deep along one side of the oncoming dreadnought. Joker then twirled the Normandy along its long axis as another two Collector beams shot towards them. They dodged the first. The second...

Shepard felt a tremble run through the ship. This was not the healthy vibration of the main guns firing, this particular tremor meant that something had gone wrong somewhere on the ship.

"Shit," said EDI. Her voice was harsh with electronic stress. "Primary hull breach. Along top of hull. Alerting damage control teams."

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Jack all but danced into Main Engineering. Marcus, her Honey-Boo, was at the main console. She would have cheerfully whittled off her own arm with a butter knife rather than admit to Marcus her private name for him. The big lug was already too full of himself as it was. Right now, Honey-Boo and Buckethead gestured at each other while hunched over the console display. Something had happened with the shields, or so Jack had heard. They were probably trying to fix it. Jack was glad she had shut off the Engineering comm channel. There was probably enough tech-talk going on to make her head explode. Ennesby stood nearby, clearly at a total loss as to what to do.

The latter teenager turned as Jack approached, and the biotic could see lots of white around her eyes. The kid was scared, but what could you expect from a goddamn cake-eater? It was a good thing she was around to show the girl how to properly react in these situations. She grabbed both sides of Oriana's helmet in her own armored hands and brought her helmet forward to meet the other's in a dull clunk.

"Now's our time to shine, Ennesby!" she yelled. The contact between helmets should allow the teenager to hear her voice. "You just follow my perfect ass!" As Jack turned and ran out of the room, she could feel the kid hot on her heels. She grinned to herself. This chick had promise, even if she shared the same genes as that misbegotten hellspawn Miranda.

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Oriana followed Jack's armored form up through the access tunnels. She knew they were heading for the top of the ship. The strike which had wounded them had shook the whole of Main Engineering and had also made her heart almost stop, until the crazy biotic had come in and commandeered her. Now she could finally understand what Tali and Marcus had tried to instill in her through rigorous training. She had no time now for fear; now all there was before her were tasks to perform.

They came to a small closed hatch, and Jack pounded on it with one armored fist. There followed a dull clunk which sounded somehow wrong to Oriana's ears.

"We got death pressure on the other side," said Jack over the comm. She turned and Oriana could see through the biotic's helmet visor those large brown eyes challenging hers. "You ready, Ennesby?"

She just nodded. Jack's eyes crinkled with her answering grin and she turned and spun the wheel in the center of the hatch. A huge wind blew past them, and Oriana was just barely able to keep her footing. Jack flowed through the hatch in seeming defiance of the gale. All Oriana could do was follow her, even if nowhere near as gracefully.

Oriana gripped the edge of the hatch and pushed to try to close it. The force of inrushing air was too much to overcome. "EDI! she yelled into the comm. "Put up a barrier at Junction Six Two Nine!"

"Acknowledged," said the dry AI voice. The gale suddenly trailed off, and Oriana slammed the hatch shut. Jack was already prowling through the little space they were in; around her danced a profusion of jets of vapor and trails of sparks flying about. Oriana glanced up and realized that she could see stars.

For the briefest moment, she pause.

There was hole in their ship, she could see right through it. There was nothing between her and the yawning void but the thin flexible composite of her pressure suit. She almost panicked, but shut the feeling down. Jack would kick her butt into next week if she didn't focus.

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The biotic in question was in the midst of shutting off valves and tripping switches. She motioned to the other side of the space. "Get that side, Ennesby."

"Done," said Oriana, and the fact that she was taking action did make her feel better. She moved without thinking, grateful for the endless training and drills that they'd put her through. Now, she didn't have to think. She just had to act. Oriana watched her own hands move as if directed by some distant puppetmaster. She gripped a valve handle and moved it, then moved on towards a nearby circuit breaker. The main thing that worried her was a few jagged shards of metal that hung down from the ceiling and threatened to snag her suit. But within a minute, they had the place cleared of any big problems.

Jack smacked her shoulder with the back of her hand, but somehow Oriana knew was a friendly slap. "Attagirl, Ennesby. Now let's keep moving."

A collapsed section appeared in front of them. Oriana dropped to her hands and knees and saw that there was a clear way through the wreckage, but it was just big enough for them to crawl through single-file. Jack took the lead, and Oriana followed. She could just see the boots of the biotic in the dim gloom as they crawled forward.

Shepard clicked into the main comm channel. "All hands, Collector ship has broken off the engagement and re-entered FTL flight. Damage control teams, continue your work and report when possible."

The pair continued to wriggle forward. Oriana was now glad that she didn't suffer from claustrophobia; this would have been a real torture otherwise. She could just make out a brighter patch of light ahead through the twisted conduits and metal beams; they must be coming up on another open area. As Jack edged forward, the biotic let out a surprised yelp and began floating up into the space, towards another gaping hole in the ceiling.

Oriana lunged forward without thinking and managed to snag one of Jack's boots. The force of her lunge also carried her forward, and she felt a little lurch in her stomach at the same time. Some of the ship's gravity generators must have failed. She felt herself being dragged out into open space behind Jack. Oriana dug her boots downward and felt the toe of one of them snag on a protruding bit of debris, then winced as a yank resounded throughout her body as she stopped dead. Fortunately, she'd managed to keep ahold of Jack's foot. The biotic dangled for a bit, then twisted and grabbed ahold of a nearby bit of twisted pipe.

"I'm good now," said Jack. "And thanks, Ennesby."

Oriana just nodded, forgetting that such a gesture wasn't really visible in her bulky suit, and let go of Jack's boot. They clambered around the interior of the space, but found that there was nothing in here which required immediate attention.

"Alert," said EDI over the comm. "Some sections may have lost gravity. Damage control teams use caution."

"Now she tells us," muttered Oriana.

Jack gave a snort of a laugh.

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Shepard stormed into the hangar, with Garrus trailing a little distance behind. Donnelly already sported a sizable shiner, while Jacob hobbled around him as if his left knee wasn't working properly. Miranda pressed herself against the shuttle with her hands up in a surrendering posture. Jacob was all that stood between her and the furious bulk of the Chief Engineer.

"It was you, wasn't it Miranda?" snarled Donnelly. His hands balled into fists at his sides. "You're the reason our shields went down. Fucking bastards. Can't trust Cerberus at-fucking-all. I shoulda taken you apart back on Illium, you bitch."

"It wasn't her!" yelled Jacob. "Come on, Marcus-"

"FOOK you! I'm the only thing that's been standing between Jack and yer goddamn girlfriend. I say the word and Jack will rip ye both apart like fookin' fresh bread."

"I won't let you," panted the armorer. There was a definite set to his features that reminded Shepard of the Jacob of old.

Donnelly sneered. "You think so? Let's find out, you cocky little gob-shite." He squared his shoulders and beckoned with one meaty hand. "Come on then, if yer hard enough!"

"DONNELLY!" roared Shepard. "STAND DOWN!" He saw the engineer's shoulders drop as the big man breathed in and out. Finally, after the longest pause, Donnelly moved aside.

"Yes, Commander," he said. He put his hands behind his back. "Sorry, sir."

Shepard looked at Jacob. It was a look that dared the armorer to move a single muscle. Jacob, not being an idiot, stayed perfectly still. Garrus took up position near the hangar door entrance. His rifle wasn't pointing at anyone...not yet, at least.

"Okay," continued Shepard. "I was going to ask our Chief Engineer how the hell our kinetic shields managed to become compromised at a very important point during a battle. Then I find out that he's left his post and gone on a rampage down here into the hangar. Now that said rampage is over, Marcus, can you enlighten me on the shields?"

Donnelly's voice was tight but composed. "Tali's digging into it further, but somehow there was a trojan piece of code in the new shield generator software."

Shepard opened his mouth but was forestalled by Donnelly's raised hand. "I know, I know," continued the engineer. "We scann'd everything during the refit, there wasn't anything then." He shot Miranda and Jacob a furious glance. "If I had a guess, there were probably small pieces of code fragments distributed amongst the various sub-components of the new shields. Nothin' that would show up as malicious to our scans. They then reassembled themselves into the full trojan code after the refit was over. All it would take would be the right codeword and poof, we've got nae more shields. It a slick piece of work, it must be Cerberus." Donnelly pointed one thick finger at Miranda. "And who here would have the right codeword, huh? Who here would Mr. Illusive Man trust?"

There was a long silence. "Shepard-" began Miranda.

"Shut up," said Shepard absently. His mind was working the problem over, trying to see the possible plays. "No. I can see Cerberus installing a backdoor into our shield system, that's par for the course for those fuckwits. But I don't think this is Miranda's fault."

"What!" Donnelly tensed himself.

"Easy, Marcus," said Garrus from his vantage point. "I like you. That's why I'll aim for your leg. But I will shoot you if you move."

"EDI," said Shepard. "Were you aware of this trojan code in our shield software?"

"Obviously not, sir. I would have told you otherwise."

"That's what I thought. Would it be possible for Ms. Lawson to be told about the trojan and given the trigger code for it without your knowledge?"

"It.." EDI paused, and Shepard knew she was rechecking message logs. "It is possible, but certainly not probable. I estimate a probability of less than one-third of one percent that such knowledge would escape me. After all, Cerberus passed all communications through me during that time period. A period in which they viewed me as under their complete control."

Shepard looked over at his Chief Engineer. "Well, Donnelly?"

Donnelly looked down and nodded. He slumped against a nearby crate. "Fook. I trust EDI, weird as that sounds. If it wasn't Miranda, then who was it?"

Miranda relaxed, although her face was still set in fright. She clearly knew that she was about one step away from breathing hard vacuum. Jacob sat himself with a little groan. "Maybe it triggered on its own," he said. "You know, they could have set it up so that it would operate if it didn't receive a codeword every so often."

The engineer shook his head. "No, what bits we found didn't look like that. It was very simple. Get codeword, shut down the shields. Anything more complex and it would have been more likely for us to pick up."

"I believe I may have an answer," said EDI. "I am going through the datalogs of our most recent encounter, and it appears that there was a transmission from the Collector ship after our initial attack. It was a very fast 'blip', on the order of nanoseconds, and I did not catch it until now. That transmission was when our shield problems began."

Jacob looked puzzled. "The Collectors put the trojan code in? That makes no sense."

"Indeed not, Mr. Taylor," replied EDI. "If the Collectors had infiltrated their agents that far into Terminus space, then they would have simply sabotaged the core and blown up the Normandy. I am also in the middle of a full-scale analysis with Tali, and it appears that the code has certain earmarks which appear in other similar malicious code from Cerberus."

Donnelly's anger faded as he relaxed into that thousand-yard-stare he got when problem-solving. "Okay, so 'tis a Cerberus backdoor. So did they give the Collectors the code for it? Did we piss them off that much?"

Shepard shook his head. "No way. TIMmy's a fanatic when it comes to the safety of humanity. He wouldn't help the Collectors even a little bit. Besides, he needs the Normandy. Or rather, he needs EDI. Having the Collectors blow us up won't get her back."

"I guess it's nice to be wanted," said the AI. "But I suppose it is possible the Collectors have agents infiltrated into Cerberus. At present I can't determine how it was done."

"The Shadow Broker," said Miranda. Shepard looked at her and saw a version of Miranda that hadn't been there for a while. The cold and calculating Cerberus operative of old had arrived. "Sir, you know that Liara T'Soni helped us recover your body for the Lazarus project."

"Yeah." Shepard put his hands on his hips and waited for her to continue. He didn't like to be reminded of just how utterly dead he'd been.

Miranda continued. "There were others after you as well. We found they were agents of the Shadow Broker, and from what Cerberus figured out they were intending to turn your body over to the Collectors. That means the Shadow Broker is working for the Collectors, and if anyone could infiltrate Cerberus it would be the Broker's organization." Miranda paused. "Well, there is one other group currently in conflict with Cerberus which could also pull off an infiltration. But there's no way that the Organization would be working for the Collectors."

"I agree with Ms. Lawson," said EDI. "The Shadow Broker fits all of the available data."

Donnelly finally looked completely calm. "All right, so Mr. Clever-Arse Shadow Broker is behind it." Then he looked worried. "But the shields could be only the start. We could have all sorts of nastiness built in by Cerberus all over the ship. Things that EDI doesn't know about."

"A small likelihood, Marcus," said EDI. "I estimate less than half a percent chance."

"That's still too much of a chance," said Shepard. "So. First, we make sure the shield software is clean. And then I want every available hand mustered, and we're going over the Normandy inch by inch. I want a full manual check of every compartment."

"That's going to take a while," said Garrus.

"We'll need to get our hull repaired anyway," replied Shepard. "Christ, I don't know how we're going to be able to do that without blowing up our budget."

"And we need to deal with the Shadow Broker mole within Cerberus," added Miranda. "They could still be leaking details of the Normandy's construction and our refit right to the Collectors. Hell, the only reason that we performed so well against them was that they hadn't yet gotten notice of our upgraded cannons."

"Fuck. Yeah, you're right." said Shepard. He gave Miranda a narrow look. "Let me guess, you're volunteering for that particular task."

Miranda didn't falter as she nodded. "Yes. It makes the most sense. I know Cerberus protocols and command structures. I also have several different points of contact in the Shadow Broker's network. I can track down where the leaks are coming from, and plug them."

"I don't like it," said Donnelly. "Why give her a chance to go back to her people?"

She snorted. "My people? Donnelly, if Cerberus gets ahold of me they'll make me wish I'd never been born. So this is literally the last thing I want to do. I'm probably going to die while attempting it. But it needs to be done."

The Commander walked away from them all. He could feel their eyes on his back as he pondered. There weren't any really 'great' options in front of him, just various flavors of 'suck'. "Embrace the suck," he muttered to himself, then turned back.

He used his Command Voice this time. "Right. Miranda, you're assigned to find the Shadow Broker's mole. Jacob, you're with her. I don't have to tell you to both be careful. We also need to call a general meeting of all hands. We've got some of the most devious motherfuckers in the galaxy on board, and I want options on how to repair our damn ship without winding up broke. Dismissed."

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Garrus leaned forward and grabbed the clawed foot of the dead Collector. "This one's body looks more or less intact," he said over his helmet comm as he tugged the foot. The corpse drifted out of the cubbyhole which it had died in and tumbled into the stark sunlight of hard vacuum. Garrus gave another counter-tug, and it stopped moving relative to him.

"Excellent news!" said Mordin over the general channel. "Have been wanting to get samples of Collector tissue for some time."

The turian looked past the Collector's body and towards the distant delta-winged shape of the Normandy. They'd parked by the chunk which had been sliced off of the Collector ship during their ambush. Several other space-suited groups swarmed over the chunk while trying to grab what bits of tech and bodies they could.

Garrus gave a frustrated little rattle of his mandibles as he looked at the frigate. The little scrapes that been on its top since Illium were now overlaid with several deep gashes which cut deep into her hull. That was not a simple fix, he thought gloomily. This was going to cost a boatload.

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Donnelly sat still while Jack put antiseptic and a bandage over the cut near his eye. "You know, I'm the one who's supposed to go running off to punch things at the drop of a hat." Her voice sounded a little distant as she worked. Donnelly was finally back in his quarters after a seemingly endless stretch of coordinating the damage control teams.

"I got mad," he said to Jack. "We found that code, and I just knew that 'twas Miranda."

"That still doesn't explain it. Were you trying to get a little payback for me?"

"Nae, it wasn't that! Well, mebbe a little bit. I was also worried that she could be doing more sabotage."

Jack finished applying the bandage and moved behind him on the narrow bunk. She hugged him gently around his chest. "You know I can fight my own battles. And you took a big chance. I hate She-Bitch, but I also know she's not someone to mess with casually. She could have killed you without breaking a sweat. The only reason she didn't fight back is because she knew the Commander would pitch her into the nearest airlock if she did."

"Yeah, but-"

She brought one hand up and put a finger on his lips. "Shh. Listen, I'm serious now. A lotta times, I don't think through things so well and I go off half-cocked. That's why you've gotta be smarter. I know that you're a really clever bastard, so be one for both of us."

Donnelly smiled. That last word made him feel much better. He reached his hand behind him and rubbed the back of Jack's shaved head. "Us?"

"Mmm hmm." She snuggled her head into his back. "It's like you said. Where else am I gonna find somebody who can put up with my crap?"

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The display over the CIC showed an orange hologram of the Normandy, but that image now showed a lot of long and ugly red scars along the top of her hull. Donnelly scratched his head and looked around at the assembled 'tiger team' of aforementioned 'devious motherfuckers'. "It'll take at least a couple of weeks to get it all back in working order. And somethin' like a metric ton of armor. Figure about one point five million credits, all told."

"Eeesh," said Joker. He had nominated himself a 'tiger team' member in spite of his lack of devious-motherfucker background. The pilot insisted that he be a part of any plan that involved repairing his 'baby'. "That's a chunk of change."

"How much can we cut back on that cost?" asked Shepard. "What if we use less material, and just plug the holes?"

"It's an option," replied Tali. "Not a good one. We could cut the cost in half by just using sheet metal and doing the crudest of patch jobs. It won't be pretty, even by Migrant Fleet standards. But if anything so much as bumps us we'll be in big trouble."

Shepard rubbed his chin. "And we're definitely going into combat, so...yeah, that's out. Maybe we can acquire the hull armor through other means?" He looked across the display at Kasumi with a raised eyebrow.

The thief shook her head. "We can't just steal the new hull material."

Garrus gave her a turian grin. "I thought you could steal anything." He sidled closer to her and slipped an arm around her shoulders. Kasumi purred and leaned into him.

Joker rolled his eyes. "I never thought I'd see you try to sweet talk anybody, Garrus. I thought you'd just threaten to beat-"

The turian's mandibles performed what would be considered an 'eyeroll' in terms of human expression. "Threaten to beat them with the stick up my ass, yeah, yeah. You need to get some new material, Joker."

"Everybody likes the classics! So why can't we steal it, Ghost Girl? I thought you could break in anywhere."

Kasumi gave him an exasperated look. "Yes, you little snot. I can break in anywhere. And then what? I deal in small, high-value items. The largest physical object I ever stole was that painting in my lounge. So how exactly am I supposed to abscond with a few metric tons worth of armor plating? Stick it into my shoe?"

"Well, Garrus has lots of experience holding things up his-"

"NEW MATERIAL, JOKER!" they all chorused.

Tali crossed her arms and tapped one foot on the deck. "We could be overthinking it. We could try some surreptitious hacking to reroute some armor material. I know of...certain tricks the Migrant Fleet has used when we've had such raw material shortages."

"It's possible," said Kasumi. "But we're not exactly anonymous. We couldn't show up to claim it. We'd have to hire somebody else to pick up the material and deliver it to us, and trust them not to just take our money and run. That sort of plan will have a lot of moving parts. I hate a lot of moving parts, it makes things too fiddly."

Garrus began tapping on the terminal in front of him. "Let's work it from the other end. Let's find out where we could possibly get the armor, then figure out how best to get it."

"We could try barter," added Donnelly. "Sort of like the wee job we did for Aria. But somethin' like this...we're gonna need a drydock. Any favor we have to do will probably wind up being a lot of time and effort."

Shepard addressed the ceiling. "EDI, do you have any input?"

"I do, Shepard. I have been accessing all news feeds looking for potential problems we could solve, similar to what Marcus just suggested. There is an interesting situation which has arisen on the asari colony of Zesmeni, near Illium."

"That didn't show up on my search," said Garrus. "Do they manufacture armor?"

The central hologram of the Normandy vanished and was replaced by a schematic of a small rocky planet. Several settlements became outlined with red circles on its surface. "This is Zesmeni," said EDI. "They provide much of the heavy mining and industry in the region surrounding Illium. It is also one of the few places which manufactures Silaris heavy ship armor."

"Wow," said Tali. "That would be amazing material to get ahold of. But far too expensive."

Garrus nodded. "Plus they don't sell that stuff to anybody but asari. That's why it didn't show up on my searches."

"Right now, they aren't selling armor to anybody," replied EDI with a smug tone. "There's been an outbreak of Herldon fever in the colony, and the planet is under quarantine."

Shepard ran a hand through his hair. "How does that help us? Oh. Right, I'm an idiot. Mordin could cure that in his sleep."

"I'm not sure he does sleep, Shepard," said Donnelly. "But yes, we could do a quid-pro-quo of armor and labor for helping them not all die."

"We're still not asari," added Tali.

The Commander got a big grin on his face. "No, we have something even better. A Justicar. If she makes the request, they'll be falling over themselves to help her out." His grin faded. "I guess I should ask Samara before we really go through with it. She did say she'll do whatever I ask, but she also said she'd kill me afterwards if I made her do something dishonorable. I'd rather avoid that."

Garrus looked up from his terminal. "Yeah, you might want to check. But if we do go through with this, there's another piece of good news. it looks like there's plenty of traffic in and out of that place, assuming we get the fever outbreak cured. It'll be a perfect place to drop off Miranda and Jacob for their mission."