7. Greetings from Paradise
NAME: CASIMIR
SPECIES: ANGEL
LOCATION: PARADISE, THE BLUE LINE
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ATTACK: 49
SPEED: 36
SKILL: 26
DEFENSE: 39
INSTINCT: 45
INTELLIGENCE: 25
STAMINA: 42
CALCULATED LEVEL: 91
The stats of the approaching figure flashed unbidden across Isaac’s tablet. He barely gave them a second glance, already knowing them by heart anyway. Instead, his attention was fixed on the angel flying up towards them at breakneck speed, casually doing spins and dips around the oscillating bridges and purposely getting as close as possible to them before dodging away at the last minute.
Even this far, Isaac could hear the suspect’s maniacal laughter and winced. Why did he always have to be so loud? The enclosed space of the Inferno, despite being so large, was a haven for any sound loud enough to bounce around the solid parts of the walls, and the approaching figure was the loudest person Isaac knew.
The man’s name was Casimir, and he was the aforementioned other level 91 of the Underside, the very same one that had completely destroyed all things sacred in Isaac’s eyes.
On a first meeting, if someone didn’t know better, they might be led to believe that Casimir was a semi serious person. He looked a lot like a “generic angel” (not the biblically accurate ones, though Isaac personally thought those would suit him a lot more), with the silver hair, statuesque appearance, and the perpetual glow that hung around him like a personal spotlight.
Unfortunately, Casimir took the “attractive until they open their mouth” thing to a whole new level. Even now, as the angel flew closer, absurdly large white wings moving so fast they were a blur, there was a distinct crazed look in his eyes that was unfortunately all too familiar.
One of his wings knocked against a bridge, which thankfully had no one on it, but the impact sent a whole row of stalactites spiraling to the ground while Casimir laughed giddily. If there was anything he’d accomplished, it was proving that even with the system in place, the people of the Underside would find a way to cause property damage even without fighting.
“Hello Casimir,” Lucius greeted pleasantly, as though Casimir hadn’t just destroyed a chunk of the Inferno and potentially injured a bunch of unlucky demons. “I wasn’t expecting you today.”
Casimir skidded to a halt (skidded? Was that the right term when someone was flying?), and the blast of wind from his wings nearly knocked Isaac off the stairs. He really needed to work on his balance, or invest in climbing gear or something, given how often he’d been in danger of falling to his death that day.
Casimir was now hovering eye level with Lucius, who hadn’t moved from his floating-sitting position, completely unruffled even as the angel pointed at him, still grinning, and said, “Fight me.”
As he spoke, the tattoo on the back of his hand glowed with the challenge. Lucius’s expression didn’t change as he silently raised his own hand to match. The two tattoos glowed in sync, their collective light growing brighter and brighter before, in a final flash, they started to rapidly fade. Within seconds, both tattoos returned to their usual dark ink color. On Isaac’s tablet, the results of the “fight” popped up, not that Isaac needed to look at them to know what they said. If someone had won, their tattoo would’ve glowed for longer.
This tale has been pilfered from Royal Road. If found on Amazon, kindly file a report.
[FIGHT INSTIGATED BY CASIMIR OF PARADISE]
[OPPONENT: LUCIUS OF THE INFERNO]
[LOCATION: THE INFERNO, UPPER LEVEL]
[RESULTS: DRAW]
“Aw.” Casimir frowned in disappointment, an expression that was exceptionally childish in Isaac’s opinion. Then again, that was standard for the angel. In the years Isaac had known him, the man was eternally jovial, spontaneous, and generally behaved like an overeager golden retriever. If he hadn’t witnessed all the stunts Casimir pulled and the easy amount of destruction he could wrought, Isaac would never have believed that someone with his personality could be level 91.
His saving grace was that Isaac was fairly certain he had good enough intentions. He didn’t deliberately cause problems, it was simply in his nature. Besides that, Casimir’s unending energy, while often exhausting, could be vaguely uplifting at other times. It really depended on Isaac’s mood that day.
“What a shame.” Lucius’s expression hadn’t moved an inch from a serene calm.
The amount of times Casimir had challenged Lucius to a fight numbered in the hundreds of thousands, and every single time the result was a draw.
This was actually rather unusual; even people of the same level typically wouldn’t end up in a draw, as differences in specific stats, custom skills, and inventory would almost always tip things in one’s favor. And when Isaac said “almost always,” he meant literally every single time except for Lucius and Casimir.
Truthfully, a part of Isaac suspected that Lilith had purposely rigged the system so the two would forever draw. The fact that their match results never changed based on location either was a prime piece of evidence. For what reason, he didn’t know, but the woman often did strange things purely for the sake of amusement, so he didn’t plan on questioning it that much.
What he did plan on questioning was the fact that Casimir somehow still hadn’t given up after all the draws. The man had a 25 intelligence, he wasn’t actually an idiot no matter how much he acted like one. Surely he knew it was futile by now?
“Oh hey, Isaac!”
A very loud, booming voice broke him out of his thoughts, and he looked up to see a beaming Casimir who had at some point flown close enough that his wings completely blocked his peripheral vision. “It’s been so long!” he exclaimed. “I should really start requesting stat updates more.”
“Please don’t.”
Casimir continued like he hadn’t spoken. “—heard about this new gym or something in Solonell, maybe I could start training, get my stats updated, and finally beat Lucius!” He paused, eyes suddenly (every motion was sudden with Casimir) darting down, and Isaac looked down and realized that, at some point, Olzu had ducked behind him. He squinted down at the demon, who was pressed rather firmly against the wall and seemed to be…trembling?
Somehow, Casimir’s smile grew even wider. “Is that who I think it is? I haven’t seen you in ages! What’re you doing down there, Olzu?”
The demon in question didn’t respond, and Isaac frowned. “He had a stat update,” he explained.
The angel clapped his hands together, and the sound rang very loudly in the cavern. “That’s great!” he exclaimed, and he leaned closer towards Olzu, who seemed to be trying his best to merge with the wall. “Have you been training? We should train together some time!”
“Casimir, please stop terrorizing my family.”
The man in question paused, blinking a few times. For a second Isaac thought the words would be completely ignored, but in the next moment, the angel spun around to face Lucius. “Aww, family? That’s cute.” He threw his head back and laughed heartily. “Sorry sorry, didn’t mean to intimidate anyone. Nice job Olzu, looks like you’ve got fighting spirit in you yet!” He spun around again and pointed to Isaac, who was starting to get dizzy from following the angel’s movements. “I’ll come find you the next time I want a stat update,” he proclaimed.
Isaac frowned. “Just submit a request.”
“Nuh uh, the gates of Paradise stay closed, even to you, Traveler.”
Paradise, the realm at the end of the blue line and Casimir’s native realm, was the one place Isaac had never been to. Strictly speaking, the stat system was designed to keep people from physically fighting, which meant that if someone didn’t plan on fighting, there wasn’t really a need to keep one’s stats updated. The first day Isaac had started this job and tried to go to Paradise, Casimir had been waiting at the gates and told him not to bother. He supposed it made sense, assuming Paradise was inhabited with angelic beings. At the very least it was somewhat comforting to think that Casimir was just a random exception and the other angels probably weren’t like him. He didn’t think the Underside could survive a whole realm of Casimirs.
“Oh hey! Where’re you going after this?”
Isaac blinked, then stared down at his tablet, squinting at the next name on the list. “Green line,” he said.
“Perfect, here, I’ll take you to the station!”
Isaac tried to take a step back, but he didn’t get far before he bumped into Olzu. “I really don’t think—“
“Come on, it’ll be fun!”
He turned to Lucius pleadingly, who only looked faintly amused. Just as Isaac opened his mouth to retort again, Casimir sprung forward, grabbed his hand in a vice grip, and Isaac barely had time to clutch his tablet to his chest for dear life before he felt himself falling.