33. You Need Sleep

By the time he got done summarizing the conversation he’d had with Lilith on the train, Casimir actually looked—dare Isaac say it—thoughtful. The angel had remained impressively quiet throughout the recounting, and near the end he’d even started stroking his chin.

A brief silence fell over the empty subway station once Isaac was done speaking. He shifted his weight, suddenly aware of how loud his voice sounded as it echoed across the (still upright) pillars and walls.

“Hey, why do you always go back to the Upper World?” Casimir asked abruptly. Isaac furrowed his brow.

“I mean, isn’t that obvious? It’s my home.”

“Yeah, but you don’t have any family up there, right? So why not just stay down here?” the angel said. “It just doesn’t really make sense to me, you know? Like, your whole ‘getting too involved in the Underside’ schtick wouldn’t be a problem if you just moved here and made it your home, right? Don’t you like it here?”

“No you’re all crazy,” Isaac said on instinct. He blinked, only processing the words after they’d already exited his mouth. Casimir, on his part, didn’t seem to mind, as he threw his head back and laughed, the sound ringing around the station bright and clear. Isaac used the chance to actually think back on the man’s words. He frowned.

It was true, he didn’t have any family on Earth. None living, anyway. His fingers twisted the fabric of his pants.

He had his cake job, sure, but it wasn’t like he felt particularly passionately about any of his customers. It was fun, he was good at it, and it paid the bills. Hell, he could probably sell cakes in the Underside too if he really wanted.

Isaac’s mind drifted to the image of the graveyard, that small patch of worn out green wedged between tall cement buildings that cast long shadows from one end to the next. He thought of the gravestone sitting in the back row, plain and unassuming. He hadn’t been able to afford a more ornate headstone, not that he thought Lloyd would have wanted one. But he still felt guilty about it. He still felt guilty about a lot of things. The passing years only cloaked the feeling under layers of new experiences, but it never truly went away, was always ready to spring up the second he thought about the memories for too long.

Isaac blinked, snapping out of his momentary trance, and realized that he’d gone quiet. He quickly refocused his gaze on Casimir, who he hoped hadn’t noticed the lapse, and shook his head. “I can’t stay down here,” he said. He pursed his lips, unsure how else he could explain it to the angel. That was a story he hadn’t told anyone but Lilith, and she only knew because she’d seen the aftermath.

Casimir hummed, watching with an unreadable look in his eyes. It was an expression that felt particularly odd on the angel, who normally broadcasted his thoughts and feelings with the intensity of a lighthouse. Finally, after what felt like forever, the man smiled.

“Okay,” he said. Isaac frowned.

“Okay? That’s it?” He’d been expecting a little more push back at the very least. Casimir just shrugged.

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“Nah, that’s it. I get it. We’ve all got attachments and stuff.”

Something about the way the angel spoke so nonchalantly made a tinge of irritation flare up. Isaac bit it down, knowing it was probably irrational. Instead, he decided to change the subject.

“Well what about you? Do you like the Underside right now, with the system?”

“Eh, that’s like, complicated.”

“Sorry to make you have to think,” Isaac said wryly.

The angel casually kicked at one of the stray pieces of rubble, and it skidded lightly across the ruined platform. As he watched the chunk of cement settle back into stillness, Isaac found himself wondering how difficult it was for someone to restrain their full strength to such an extent. Was it second nature, or was it much harder?

“The system’s nice,” Casimir said as he spun around in the air, hovering a few feet to the left and kicking at another stray piece of debris. “The Underside really sucked before it, to be honest. It’s kind of nice not having people fighting all the time. Way more relaxing.”

Isaac raised an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound complicated at all. It sounds like you just prefer it.”

“I mean, yeah. But just ‘cause I like it more doesn’t mean it suits me. I’m not made for a place like this.”

“That’s awfully esoteric of you.”

Casimir shrugged. “Maybe.” The angel bent down and picked up a smaller piece of rubble, casually tossing it up and down in the air with one hand, the other still clasped around the pulsing egg. “Well, it’s not really your business anyway, since you’re oh so very separate from the Underside, right?” He shot Isaac a grin, and Isaac just sighed. He couldn’t really argue with that.

His eyes drifted towards the station exit, where a faint sliver of the inky Abyss could be seen peeking through the small gap. They should get going soon. Isaac turned his attention back to the angel. “Fine. Now are you finally satisfied with whatever this was? We—You,” Isaac corrected, “need to get the egg back.”

Casimir scratched his head. “Eh, I guess.” He squinted. “You seriously need to sleep more though, dude. Those eye bags are kind of nuts.” He smacked the egg again, and at this point Isaac was impressed that whatever was inside was still alive. Assuming that it was. “I can take this back!” Casimir said cheerily. He made a shooing gesture. “You go away and rest!”

Isaac rolled his eyes. So he’d really just dragged him here for no other reason. Okay then. Well, he wasn’t going to argue with a chance to get the hell out of the Abyss as soon as possible.

In the next moment, the angel flapped his wings once with a cheerful, “See ya!” The resulting gust of wind kicked up clouds of dust and light debris and dispersed them back up into the air. Isaac coughed and rubbed at his eyes. By the time he opened them again, Casimir was nowhere to be seen.

Shaking his head, Isaac heaved a long sigh and turned to wade his way through the scattered remains of the innocent concrete pillar. As he raised his foot, however, a brief line of words flashed across his vision.

[CURRENT LOCATION: THE ABYSS]

Isaac froze mid step. He blinked his eyes, but the text vanished as suddenly as it had appeared. Just to be certain, he took a moment to scan the empty subway station and outline the jagged lines of the shattered concrete pieces to make sure he was seeing things right. There didn’t seem to be anything wrong with his vision.

He glanced down at the black tablet screen. When he clicked it open, the same words appeared there, as he’d expected. Isaac frowned. Had he looked down unconsciously and simply processed the words late? Maybe Casimir was right. He really did need a break if he was starting to see things.

Tucking the tablet safely under his arm, Isaac continued walking down the platform, glancing around his surroundings as he did so. It was nothing, he told himself. Just fatigue catching up to him.

Still, despite the assurances, he couldn’t shake the tinge of uneasiness slowly creeping through him, as faint as it was unrelenting.