The days quickly began to run together, one day morphing into the next, until I lost all concept of time and days of the week. Each day was the same as the one before. Henri had been right—the more time I spent with them, the easier it was for me to create and hold the three-way mental connection. However, the mental bond didn’t come without a price. I was directing so much energy to my mental abilities that my balance and coordination were off, and my other senses suffered. At the end of each day, every inch of my body hurt, even my eyelashes. But thankfully, I was so exhausted that I fell instantly asleep every night.

“I’m sure you’ve been wondering why I’m pushing you so hard, so fast,” Henri said one morning over a breakfast of fatty strips of bacon and goopy eggs. “It hasn’t been for nothing.” He paused for dramatic effect.

“Well, don’t keep us in suspense,” Erik said sarcastically. He clearly knew where this was going.

Henri gave him a pointed look. “Captain Alvarez and Director McDonough have been so impressed with the progress that Talia is making that they have given us our first hunting assignment.”

My eyes grew wide with shock that quickly turned to excitement. As a pledge, I would be participating in several hunts prior to my actual graduation from school. But I hadn’t imagined that it would happen so soon. I knew from Donavon that none of the other pledges had been assigned a mission yet.

“Tell me all about it,” I squealed, not bothering to hide my enthusiasm.

“I don’t have the specifics yet, but it’s a pretty simple assignment. There is some information TOXIC wants, and we need to retrieve it—preferably undetected. I should know more in a couple of days.”

“How does it all work?” I pressed. Donavon had been telling me about hunting missions since the day I went to live with the McDonough's, but I was so eager that I wanted Henri to tell me all over again.

“The Brains will give us information on the location and the people involved. Then we stake out the location for a couple of days. We’ll make sure that all of the information we have is accurate and see what else we can learn. After that, we go in, get what we came for, and get out before anyone notices we were there.”

“Sounds pretty simple,” I observed.

“Should be. These assignments are usually given to teams with pledges. But that doesn’t mean that there aren’t risks, so keep your excitement in check and take this seriously,” Henri warned.

I put everything I had into training that day. I pushed my mental and physical limits to just-short of their breaking points. My excitement was fueling my adrenaline, and I barely felt fatigued at the end of practice.

After we had finished for the day, I ran straight to Donavon’s cabin. Our schedules were so strenuous that I’d barely seen him in the past couple of weeks. I wanted to tell him that I’d gotten my first assignment. I knocked on his door, impatiently tapping my foot.

Harris answered. “Hey, Tal, come on in,” he greeted me, holding the door open. “I was just heading to dinner, so I’ll leave you two alone.”

I waved dismissively at Harris as I locked eyes with Donavon. He was sitting on his bed, so I skipped over and gave him a big hug.

“You’re in a great mood,” he remarked.

“I got my first assignment!”

“Congrats.” He sounded tired, and not nearly as enthusiastic as I’d hoped.

“I know I shouldn’t be so excited, but this is my first step toward really doing something, you know?” I tried to backpedal, embarrassed by my elation.

“We should celebrate,” Donavon answered, trying to match my mood.

“What do you have in mind?”

“How about tonight we go for a picnic dinner down by the lake? Then, tomorrow I’ll take you into D.C.?”

I frowned. “I’m not allowed to go into the city, remember?”

“I bet if you call Dad he’ll authorize it. We’ll worry about it tomorrow, though. Tonight, I just want to be alone with you.”

I beamed. I wanted to be alone with him, too. Erik’s words about special favors from Mac ran through my head, and I knew I couldn’t ask for permission to go to Washington. Mac would authorize it if I asked, but I didn’t want to give anyone more ammunition against me. I would worry about that tomorrow.

“Let’s go.” I leaned down and kissed Donavon.

We got hot turkey-gravy sandwiches, cranberry juice, and thick pieces of carrot cake—my favorite—at one of the café, and took the dinner and blankets to the lake. The lake here was much smaller than the lake at school, but it was still my favorite place at Elite Headquarters. We ate our sandwiches in comfortable silence, and I somehow managed not to spill any of the gravy on my shirt. The sun was going down on the other side of the lake. It was just at the height where it appeared to be sitting half in the water and half out. The temperature was perfect, and I felt comfortable in a short-sleeved shirt and light-weight pants. In short, everything about the night seemed perfect.

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“Fancy a swim?” Donavon asked after we ate, twirling one of my curls around his finger.

“I don’t have a suit,” I replied absently.

“You don’t need one.”

I snapped my head towards him and narrowed my eyes, understanding that by “swim” he actually meant “let’s get naked”.

“You first,” I dared him with a confidence that I didn’t feel.

Donavon stood and stripped down to his underwear without hesitation. I tried to wiggle my eyebrows suggestively at him, as I’d seen other girls do when they were flirting, but I felt more like my face was in spasms. It was a warm night, but not warm enough to be standing around practically naked. I could see the gooseflesh springing up across Donavon’s exposed skin. I suddenly felt very nervous.

“Come on, Tal, your turn.”

I hesitated. Donavon had seen me in my bathing suit on numerous occasions, but he’d never actually seen me in my underwear. The mental and emotional connections that we shared were more intense than I imagined most people experienced in their lives, but our physical relationship was somewhat less evolved. I thought I wanted more, yet something always held me back. I knew that Donavon wanted more, and until recently, he’d made every effort to keep his real thoughts from me. Lately though, his teenage hormones were overriding his regard for my feelings.

Slowly, I stood and lifted my arms over my head. Donavon gripped the bottom of my shirt and took his time as he lifted it over my head. I had to remind myself to breathe normally, but my nervousness wouldn’t let me. I reached for the drawstring on my pants, but my hands were numb, and I couldn’t get the tie undone. Donavon gently pulled my fingers away. He knelt in front of me and kissed the space just below my bellybutton. I hugged my arms across my chest to keep from shaking. I held my breath as he untied the string, and the pants fell in a pool around my feet.

Donavon held his hand out. I uncrossed my arms and took it, stepping out of the black fabric puddled around my ankles. I was trembling from head to toe. I was scared to meet his eyes.

“It’s just me, Tal. You don’t need to be nervous.”

“I know.”

“Look at me, Tal.” He was still on his knees. For once, I looked down at him instead of up. He wrapped his hands around my waist. His fingers felt warm against my bare skin. His light blue eyes clouded over and became heavy with longing. He looked me up and down, making me more self-conscious.

“So, I kinda assume we aren’t actually swimming?” I tried to joke, attempting to mask my unease.

“No, no swimming.” His mental voice was husky.

In one motion, he swept me off my feet and up into his arms. A nervous giggle escaped my lips. He laid me down on the blanket and leaned over me. He covered us both with the quilt he’d taken from his bed. Donavon propped himself up on one elbow and bent over to plant his lips firmly on mine. I wrapped my arms around his neck, trying to match the intensity of his kiss. He ran the fingertips of his free hand lightly down my side, and the sensation made me shiver. His finger toyed with the edge of my boring cotton underwear. I immediately shrank away from his touch.

Donavon pulled back. His eyes found mine. “You still aren’t sure about this, are you?”

“I don’t know, Donavon.” I tried to look away. “I just don’t think I’m ready.”

“It’s okay, Tal. I don’t want you to do anything you aren’t ready for.” He may have said it was okay, but I could tell that he didn’t mean it. I could hear, and feel, the frustration dripping from each word. We’d been having this conversation a lot lately.

“I’m so sorry, Donavon.” I meant it. I was sorry. Sorry that we had to keep repeating this same conversation.

“Stop,” his mental voice demanded. “Stop apologizing. It just makes me feel bad. Just give me a minute.” He rolled over on to his back and took several deep breaths. I waited, my whole body tense, for him to say something, anything. Finally, he turned his head back to the side and met my eyes.

“Come here.”

I crawled into his open arms. We lay like that for hours. He let his hands roam every once in a while, testing the waters. He ran his fingertips along my spine, down my arm, through my hair, across my cheek. While I could still feel his longing bubbling under the surface, I knew that he had no intention of trying anything else tonight. He didn’t want to face rejection twice in one evening.

I don’t know what kept holding me back. I loved Donavon. I mean, I think I loved Donavon. From the first time I saw him, I had felt drawn to him. He was more than my boyfriend—he was my best friend. Granted, he was my only friend. Still, I knew that I wanted to be with him and only him. But for now, this was the intimacy I needed.

It must’ve been a mixture of anticipation earlier, coupled with all the craziness from the last couple of weeks, that set my nerves on edge, I reasoned with myself. Next time, I would be ready, or maybe the time after that….

“I think we should head back,” Donavon said, after we had been laying there until well after curfew.

“Do we have to? If Henri is going to be mad at me, he’s probably already mad at me. So, I might as well just stay out. Unless you’re tired of me?” I teased him.

“I never get tired of you.” He sounded sincere.

“Good.” I smiled, not realizing until just then how worried I’d been.

“But I really should get you back. Henri might be a little upset about you missing curfew, but he’ll be furious if you don’t come home at all,” Donavon reasoned. He got up and put on his rumpled clothes. Reluctantly, I followed suit.

“Tal?” he called hesitantly.

“Yeah?”

“I really do love you. I hope you know that.”

“I do.”

Donavon walked me back to my cabin and kissed me goodbye. I eased the door open as slowly and quietly as I could manage. I slipped off my leather flip-flops and crept across the wooden floor boards on my toes. I lowered myself into bed, willing the springs not to squeak. I let out a sigh as my head made contact with the pillow. I was sure that Henri would ream me in the morning, but at least I could go to sleep in peace.

“Natalia?” Henri’s voice cut through the silence.

Crap.

“Yes?” I replied tentatively.

“This is your one pass. Don’t miss curfew again.” He was trying to sound stern.

“Thank you,” I said quietly, trying to sound humble. “Henri?”

“Yeah, Tal?”

“I’m sorry.” I seemed to be saying that a lot tonight.

“I know.”