The first time I woke up the next morning, Donavon’s arms were still tight around my waist. His warm, even breathing tickled the back of my neck. It was relaxing to be at peace with Donavon again.

The second time I woke up was a different story.

“Get out,” Erik growled, his turquoise eyes blazing with anger, his hands balled into fists by his sides. Stale alcohol seeped out of his pores as sweat dotted his forehead.

Donavon jumped out of bed but stood his ground.

“I said, get out,” Erik repeated, his voice low and threatening.

“What’re you so upset about?” Donavon demanded, trying to keep his voice even. “You weren’t here, and she was lonely.”

“She is a pledge. She isn’t allowed to have visitors after curfew, and you know that,” Erik shot back through gritted teeth, never taking his eyes from Donavon.

I wished that they would stop talking about me like I wasn’t there.

“Oh, come off it, Erik. You had girls back in your cabin all the time when you were a pledge. The stories are legendary.” Donavon rolled his eyes and relaxed his stance.

“Just get out,” Erik shouted, losing whatever control he’d been hanging on to.

“Fine. Whatever.” Donavon tried to sound flippant, but I could tell he was unnerved by Erik’s intensity. He turned and kissed me on the top of my head, picked up his shoes—not bothering to put them on—and sauntered out of the cabin.

I waited until I heard the soft click of the door closing into place before I rounded on Erik.

“How dare you!” I screamed, not bothering to pretend that I was in control of my emotions.

“Tals, calm down.” He no longer sounded angry, just tired.

I clamored to stand up on my bed, nearly tripping over the tangled blankets. Even standing on top of my mattress, I was barely eye-to-eye with Erik.

“No, I will most certainly not calm down. You had no right to barge in here and demand that he leave. This is my room, too. And don’t call me ‘Tals’ like you are my friend.” Anger and embarrassment were warring inside of me, both trying to claw their way out. Erik had some nerve, acting like he had a right to throw Donavon out of my room. It wasn’t like we were doing anything wrong. We were fully clothed, after all. But still, something about Erik being the one to find Donavon and me in bed together was humiliating.

“Tals, calm down,” Erik urged, his voice low and pleading.

“I am calm,” I spat, even though I clearly wasn’t. I clenched my jaw so tightly that it hurt. My face was only inches from Erik, and I was seized by an impulse to shove him away from me. His closeness was suffocating. I raised my hands to do just that, but Erik’s lightning-fast reflexes had his fingers encircling my wrists before I made contact.

“I’m sorry. I overreacted,” he whispered, his face still too close to mine.

I began to relax slightly, the anger ebbing away.

“What’s wrong?” Henri asked, walking in the room and taking in the sight of me and Erik locked in an odd embrace. I tore my eyes away from Erik’s to look at Henri, and my anger returned full force.

“Erik thinks what goes on in my room is his business,” I fumed, yanking my wrists free of his grasp.

“It is my business, when it takes place in my room,” Erik answered, refusing to take his eyes off me.

“Well, it is kind of our business, Talia,” Henri said evenly.

“No, it’s not!” I shrieked, rounding on him now.

“Natalia you need to calm down,” Erik insisted, reaching for my wrists again.

I crossed both arms protectively over my chest, effectively thwarting his effort. I felt his nervous energy as his fingers brushed my forearm.

“It is. It may not seem fair to you, and maybe it’s not, but what happens in your private life could affect us, so that makes it our business.” Henri kept his voice calm, taking his cues from Erik. I guess he reasoned that Erik was the resident expert in irrational females.

“I don’t ask about your personal life,” I spat.

“It’s not the same. I know it’s a double standard, but our private lives don’t affect you the same way yours affects us.”

“That makes no sense,” I argued.

“Do you understand how much time goes into training a new Hunter?” Henri asked, seemingly switching topics.

“A lot,” I conceded.

My distraction gave Erik the opening that he needed, and he gently laid a hand on my arm. I flinched initially but calmed a little when I looked into his eyes. I let him keep his hand there.

“Exactly. And if something were to happen that made that training a waste, it would be pretty crappy, right?” Henri pressed.

I didn’t understand where he was going with this. “Right,” I answered slowly.

“Well, if you got pregnant, that would kinda make all this time and training useless,” Erik said quietly.

“What? But we weren’t doing anything!” I wailed, but all the fight had gone out of me.

“Yeah, well, regardless—that’s why what goes on in your personal life is kind of our business,” Henri said.

“So, I can’t have a boyfriend?” I countered.

“No, you can,” Henri answered quickly. “We just want you to understand the consequences. Granted, Erik might’ve overreacted a little,” he added, giving him a hard look.

I looked back at Erik, his hand still resting on my forearm. A wave of emotions hit me, and I knew that his reaction had nothing to do with any possible “consequences”. I opened my mouth and started to say something to that effect but quickly snapped it shut.

“Right. I understand,” I muttered instead, turning towards the bathroom.

The whole scene was mortifying. Talking about this with them was too embarrassing, particularly since I hadn’t actually done anything that could lead to me getting pregnant. I never had. I walked into the bathroom, shutting the door noisily behind me. I collapsed on the floor. I could still hear them talking in the other room. I turned on the water and climbed into the hot spray of the shower.

The humiliation over what had just transpired wasn’t the only reason I needed to collect my thoughts. The intensity of Erik’s emotions was also wreaking havoc on my emotions. I’d, of course, been attracted to Erik since we’d first met. He was hot. I couldn’t imagine a girl who wasn’t attracted to him. Regardless, Donavon was my boyfriend and that was that. Being attracted to somebody was a lot different than having real feelings for them, right? I mean, I didn’t—and couldn’t—have feelings for Erik. Besides, Erik might like me now, but he had a short attention span. I would be surprised if that attraction lasted.

A case of content theft: this narrative is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

I spent my whole shower trying to compose myself.

When I finally opened the bathroom door, Henri and Erik were sitting at the table eating. I took a deep breath and launched into my carefully prepared speech.

“I promise you won’t find Donavon in our cabin during non-visiting hours again—if you two promise never to speak about my sex life again. I promise to make sure my private life doesn’t affect either of you, as long as you promise to pretend like this conversation never happened.” I could feel my face burning with embarrassment. I kept my eyes focused on an ant that was crawling across the floorboards.

“Agreed, and we’re sorry that this conversation had to happen like this.” Henri smiled at me and nudged Erik.

Instead of apologizing, Erik asked hopefully, “Any chance you could promise to get rid of your boyfriend?”

“Sorry, not part of the deal.”

Erik shrugged. “Breakfast?”

I grinned, relieved. “I’m starving.”

Since I had the day off, I decided to play it safe and spend it with Penny. We spent most of the time in her room playing with all her gadgets. She had been right—there were quite a few she had no idea how to use. Even the two of us together couldn’t seem to figure some of them out. We talked about Donavon and a Crypto operative Penny had a crush on. She asked what it was like to live with two guys, and I complained about how lucky she was to have such a nice, big room to herself. We painted our toenails bright orange. I was beginning to realize that orange/red was Penny’s whole color scheme, not just her hair color.

Penny insisted on doing my makeup. I normally only wore makeup when I went with Mac’s family to a political event that required me to dress up. Penny, however, wore makeup every day and seemed personally offended that I didn’t share her affinity.

Somewhere between applying the orchid eye shadow and the cherry Never-Been-Kissed lip gloss, I heard Penny’s life story. She hadn’t started at the McDonough School at five, which was customary. Her biological parents had given her up when she was a baby. Instead of being adopted, she’d been shuttled from foster home to foster home until finally coming to live at Mrs. Gubbard’s Home for Girls when she was twelve. Once there, her extremely elevated intelligence didn’t go unnoticed. When Mrs. Gubbard realized Penny wasn’t “normal”, the house matron immediately contacted TOXIC. Just weeks after arriving at the home, Penny was moved once again. This time she moved to a permanent domicile—the McDonough School.

Penny’s story made me feel a kinship with her. Maybe I’d instinctively known the night we met that we had something in common, as I was oddly drawn to Penny from our first encounter. Up until now, I’d thought that she’d just come along at a time in my life when I really needed a friend, similar to Donavon. Now, I thought it must’ve been that I knew on some level that we had something in common—we were both orphans.

I wanted to take a quick look into her head, wanted to see if she felt a connection, too, but decided against the intrusion. I wouldn’t want somebody invading my most painful and private memories.

Somehow, I found myself recounting my own tragic past. I gave Penny the abridged version of events that led to my enrollment at the School. I hadn’t shared my story with anybody, not even Donavon. Donavon knew, of course, but Mac had been the one to tell him. Or, more likely, he had overhead Mac talking to Gretchen. Donavon did have a penchant for eavesdropping.

That evening, I had dinner with Donavon and then we took a walk around the grounds. I wanted to spend as much time with him as I could before I left, but I still made sure to be in long before curfew. I didn’t want to risk upsetting Henri after our conversation that morning, and I know I needed my rest. Although my upcoming mission was supposed to be easy, I was starting to get nervous; it was my first assignment.

Erik was the only one there when I walked into my cabin two hours before midnight. He informed me that Henri always spent the night with Frederick before he left on an assignment and that he would be back early the next morning. I wished for the umpteenth time that I could spend the night with Donavon but after this morning’s showdown, I wasn’t about to take the chance.

The anxiety of my first hunt made me restless and prevented me from falling asleep. I wanted to seek out Donavon’s mind but decided against it. Talking to him would just make me more desperate to be physically close to him. I lay in my bed, tossing and turning, well into the night.

Sometime shortly before sunrise, Erik turned on the light next to his bed.

“You should be sleeping. We have a couple of big days ahead of us,” he lectured.

“I’m sorry, did I wake you up?” I apologized, but secretly a little glad that he was awake, too.

“No, not exactly. It’s more like you haven’t let me sleep.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, actually feeling guilty now.

“It’s okay. I was just as anxious before my first mission,” he mumbled.

“Did you keep Henri up all night?” I inquired hopefully.

“Well, no,” he admitted. “But I also don’t have the ability to project my thoughts and feelings onto the people around me. Well, I don’t usually,” he amended. Henri will be grateful that he wasn’t here. If he had to deal with both of our projected feelings, he would have been pretty irritated.

“How do I force myself to sleep?” I moaned.

“You probably won’t be able to,” he conceded.

“So what do I do?”

“Get up and put on your workout clothes,” Erik suggested.

“What? How is that going to help me sleep?”

“You should go for a run or something. It’ll tire you out, and you really need to get some sleep before we leave tonight.”

I sighed and pushed the covers off me. I trudged into the bathroom to change. Running was low on the list of things I wanted to do right then, but I was willing to try anything that could help me sleep. When I emerged, I was surprised to see Erik sitting on the edge of his bed dressed in matching Agency-issue workout clothes, tying the white laces on his mesh tennis shoes.

“Ready?” he asked, without turning around.

“You’re coming?” I didn’t bother to mask my surprise.

“I’m up,” he answered simply.

We set off at a quick pace on a trail through the woods. We maintained the pace, without speaking, for over an hour.

As we ran, I focused my energy on my olfactory sense. I breathed in the intoxicatingly sweet fragrance of the small, white flowers that grew at the base of the trees, the fresh smell of dew on the leaves, and even the earthy musk of the dirt. I could make out the heady scent of Erik’s sweat mixed with his deodorant. It was so distinctly male. I inhaled deeper, taking in as much of his aroma as I could. Suddenly, I realized what I was doing and quickly redirected my energy.

I switched my concentration to my sense of touch. The morning was cool and damp, and I could feel the tiny droplets of cold water that hung in the air and on every surface of my exposed skin. I felt the trickle of cold sweat as it traced a path from the base of my skull to the small of my back. I felt the tiniest pebbles as my feet pounded out a steady rhythm along the path.

I narrowed my eyes and refocused my energy to my sight, blocking the rest of my senses. I could see the beads of condensation on the bright leaves. I could see the minute details in the bark of the passing trees. When I turned my head to look at Erik, I could see his long, thick eyelashes framing his beautiful eyes. I lost my footing and stumbled slightly. Erik looked down at me as I quickly strained to right myself.

“Okay?” he asked, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

I caught a glint in his eyes and knew that he had caught me looking at him.

“Yup,” I grunted, embarrassed.

Closing my eyes, I tried to regroup. I directed my energy to my hearing. The pounding of my feet against the dirt was almost deafening. I could hear the thudding of my heart against my chest, just a microsecond faster than Erik’s. A small bumblebee flew next to my ear and the flutter of its wings filled my head. I relaxed as my stride fell into a cadence with the burbling of a stream somewhere in the distance.

I continued to cycle through my senses, expanding each one in turn, throughout the entire run. Over the years, this routine had become second nature. The familiarity comforted me and the anxiety that had been dampening my thoughts all week gave way to confidence. I could do this. I was ready for this mission.

Mac had begun teaching me to sharpen my senses not long after I came to live with his family. I would run blindfolded to improve my hearing. He would have me wear earplugs for entire days to improve my eyesight. Some days, Mac would deprive me of two of my senses at once, pushing the other senses to their limits. It was a gradual process, but eventually I was able to draw on my mental energy and focus it; mastery of each sense followed.

Erik was right—when we got back, I was exhausted. I showered quickly and then got back in my bed, promptly falling asleep.

Too soon, I woke to Henri gently shaking my shoulder.

“Tal, it’s time to get up,” he said softly.

“Hmmm,” I replied drowsily.

“You need to wake up and pack. We’re leaving in two hours.”

The bed rose as his weight lifted away. This was it—I was finally going on my first mission. My confidence from earlier remained. I was ready.

I rolled over and stretched. I pulled myself out of bed and began packing a small bag with only essential toiletries and several days’ worth of the most non-descript clothing that I owned. Bags containing the weapons, tech devices, and specialized clothing for our mission would be waiting for us in the hover-plane.

I had finished my packing and was pulling on knee-high black boots over a thick black adapti-suit—made of an impenetrable material that protected my skin from both the elements and glancing blows—when I heard a knock at the door. I knew that it was Donavon. I dove for the door, but Erik got there first.

He greeted Donavon icily as he opened the door. “I should’ve guessed it would be you.”

“Just wanted to say goodbye to Tal.” Donavon held up his hands, indicating that he didn’t want trouble.

I walked over, grabbed Donavon’s arm, and ushered him out the door. I slammed it shut behind us.

“Sorry about that,” I said to him.

“I don’t want to talk about him.” Donavon leaned down and kissed me softly. “Seriously though, Natalia, be careful.”

“Don’t worry, Donavon. I’ll be fine,” I promised.

“I know, but I can’t help but worry about you.” His voice was husky.

“Wrap it up, Tals. We gotta go,” Erik called, walking out of the cabin with his bag over one shoulder and mine over the other.

I stood on my tiptoes and kissed Donavon goodbye.

“I love you, Tal.”

“I know, Donavon.” I gave his calloused hand one last squeeze before turning to follow Erik and Henri, only allowing myself to look back once.