"Yo, Mayor."

"Yes, Bob?"

"Do you have someone to send with him? I've got some gas masks, but what if something happens to him? I don't want him to go up there without someone to keep him safe."

"Okay, what's going to happen?"

"Oh, Jen from the pub already offered to chaperone him for the day. I think that's where he's supposed to go next."

Bob just smiled, the mayor smiled, and I just knew I was being set up here. But, at the same time, good people, good food, and I don't want to die, so I just kind of worked with them.

This was a perfect idea to make sure it was safe, because if I really was getting a gas attack up there, it was really not a good idea. Plus, what type of gas does that to you?

So, I thanked them both, left, headed to the pub, and yes, Jen did want to chaperone me and had agreed. So, this time I realized that the farmer had a cell phone and was being told off for not calling him to bring me back down, and that when she goes up, she would not be walking back down, so we would have to wait for their ride to come pick them up.

I agreed because, well, yeah. And she had told me that they are very packed a lunch and everything, and asked me if I had anything I needed, and I said no, and she called our lift.

The next 6 hours were very enjoyable, and no hanky-panky got going on, but I did enjoy her company, and the food, and the scenery, and it was just an all-around good day. We had gone up to the cave and gone near it, and taking some air samples, and she came in and looked around using the gas mask. But I also didn't bring the key into the cave; I left it in my bag just outside, and I showed her where I signed my name, and I even showed her where I carved the little symbol. The Rock was still there, so everything looked normal, and that was it, made a good day of it, went back to the pub, and had a couple of drinks, and she thanked me for a nice day, and I went back to my room and lost my s***.

I slept that night dreaming of dreams that made no sense, and I knew when I woke up that next morning that something weird had happened to me in my dream because my body felt slightly off, as in I had a little bit of warmth in the middle of my chest, right where my heart was, but it wasn't like normal, it was like I could feel my heart beating, but it wasn't a beat, it was just a pressure. I realized it, accepted it, and just made it a part of me. And I guess that secret right there is what took so many people to figure out, because I didn't realize I was doing it naturally, and that doing it naturally unlocked so much going forward.

It wasn't until I got to the pub the next day and waved at Jen that I knew something had gone really, really wrong. Because when she looked at me, she didn't look at me as a woman looks at a man, she looked at me as if I wasn't human, that I was an animal and dangerous. You could see a small flicker of fear in her eye; she smiled, she said everything normal, but the corners of her lips and her eyes were that where she didn't take her eyes off me. And I thought maybe it's that she likes me, but she's more jumpy. I asked her what it was about, and she looked at me like I was crazy, stupid, and insane.

"What do you mean? What you did last night? I know no one else saw, but what the f***?"

Of course, I had been drinking a bit last night and was a little put out by this. I didn't know what I did, and I just basically said this:

"Jen, I'm so sorry if I texted you inappropriately or said something to you. I would never do that; you have been nothing but nice to me. I am so sorry for whatever I did. I don't remember doing anything that would offend you. I'm so sorry."

She just looked at me like I had two heads and said, "No, not that. The fire thing. You were making a flame come out of your finger last night."

I told her straightforward I didn't know what she was talking about, but I was playing with matches last night at the table.

The next thing I said I kind of regret, but I lied and said I practised magic when I was a kid and if you hold the match in the right place, it looks like it's coming out of your finger, but it only works for a couple of seconds and you got to stop it or else you burn yourself.

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She looked at me and then just relaxed. She thought I had actually been doing real fire out of my finger. That was silly, is that.

I smiled my cutest little smile for a 40-year-old and asked if there was any food being made right now and if I could order anything for breakfast.

She smirked, went to the back, and brought me a Scottish breakfast with blood pudding. I told you I was f*****.

After that, we had already dropped off the test samples yesterday, and we were told by Bob that it would take a day or so. So, I just went around town, but what I didn't tell anybody was I was calling in backup.

So, some background. I've been doing tech support for years and made friends that are contractors and other people that fix things. We have a small group of friends that just hang out when we want to hang out or when everything goes to s*** you call the group in and they can make a disaster and disaster. So, just the crew. My crew only had two guys, Mike, whose dad was a retired military guy, and Smitty, whose dad was still in the military. Both of them lived in the same town as me.

Smitty - Smitty is a farm boy contractor who has done one tour in the military, didn't like it, and got the hell out. And that's why me and him get along. And if he can't fix it, it can't be fixed kind of guy. When I need something built, I talk to him, he gets a contractor together, I get a lawyer to buy the land, and by the time I step foot on the line, whatever I need, it was already built. Good guys for that kind of stuff. Smitty's dad, Tim, jag lawyer. The kind of guy you call in when you f***** up really bad. Except Smitty and his dad, they lied a lot when they were younger, so there's no lying allowed. It's a big family role, and even I'm not allowed to f*** around without one. So, there are rules in that household.

Mike - Mike was a small business owner who hired contractors all the time to do work. And that's how I met him. He has a good family, a good place, he's just a good old-fashioned boy, but he's not dumb. He'd rather work smarter, not harder. So, when I introduced him to Smitty, we all headed off, and we've all been drinking buddies ever since then. Mike's dad, Bob, is basically one of the drinking buddies we had. We all hang out at Mike's dad's garage and have a couple of drinks and then ride our bikes home. We're talking 18 plus, but still pedal bikes. Mike's dad retired and is now just doing nothing, playing video games, smoking a joint.

So, there's me in Scotland, fed, couple of drinks in me, sitting around a fountain in the square of the town, and pull out my cell phone. This is how the following conversation goes:

Ring ring ring.

"Yo, who this?"

"This is Yo."

"Yo, yo, yo."

"You'll hold, I'm getting the other one."

I then put them on hold while I conference call in both Mike and Smitty.

"Okay, guys, can you hear me?"

"Yo."

"Smitty here."

"Okay, guys, I need to ask a big favor. I'm calling you from Scotland. Came to my family stomping grounds I told you about, found the cave, and I might have gotten hit with a gas attack. I'm fine, but if I didn't get hit with a gas attack, I found some s***. You want to come? Bring your dad. We're going to drink and Scotland for a week or two. You guys in? Come on, come on, you know you want to."

Next thing I know, I hear running, and I guess Mike had to run out to the garage.

"Yo, dad, want to go Scotland? Go drinking with Jeremy and Smitty."

All I hear in the background is, "When?"

Mike put the phone on speaker and said, "You're on speaker." No is all Mike's dad could hear coming out of the phone. "Get on the plane, get on the plane, get on the plane, get on the plane, get on the plane, get on the plane, and if you guys worried, I got you covered. Get on the plane." And I hung up. Couple seconds later, I texted them my GPS and also by hotel's picture. I let them know that I was booking them three rooms as soon as I knew when they were going to show up.

5 hours later, I got an ETA to town two days from now. That's perfect. I dropped by the hotel and let them know. They had no problem with that. And for the next two days, I just went around town and waited for the results and my friends to show up.

Well, one day before my crew showed up, the mayor sent another message. But it wasn't to come see him. It was just, "Hey, you've been granted access to the cave legally. So, we found there is nothing wrong up there, and you were tripping on something, but we don't know what it was. If you're okay with it, we'd like to have you take us up there." The mayor, a cop, and some other officials wanted to go see the kid I found. So, what I found out after was they brought up an electronic nose that actually sniffs the air for gas and other chemicals and let them know what it is just in case I didn't get a good sample of it. So, Jen came again, and she did food up, and I guess the town kind of has a deal for this, so it was awesome, and I had to pay a couple bucks, but it wasn't bad, and I got a nice lunch and took them up. Then we all just had a good time, and I showed them where I carved my name, and I got slapped for that, and they asked me about The Rock in this, and I went, "This is my family crest," and I showed them my family crest, and I went, "No, that's not your family," because I went, "Well, it's my Canadian family crest, and then I have a Scottish family crest. I got to be able to prove I was here, can't I?"

After our philosophical debate over that, they all said it's a normal cave and that there's nothing really wrong up here and that everything was fine. And I asked them if I can keep coming back up here and kind of go hiking for a bit if there'd be any problem with that. I'd actually called my friends and family to come see the cave and to come drinking and just come have some fun. And they said, "Have fun, spend money in our town, we love you." And that was it. After that, I was left alone to come up to the cave whenever I needed help.

Part one of my master plan accomplished. Don't get in s***.