That is good meat in the alleyway that was going to defrost soon. I walked up to Chef Karen and lied: “I got a special delivery of meat out back, mind if I store it in your freezer?”
“Meat expensive boy, don’t fall out of sky okay?” Then she stuck her head out into the alley to check. She looked back at me, her eyes glowed red, and she smiled and said. “I take half.” The Karen moved with unnatural and manic speed to collect the alleyway meats. To my surprise, she was not human.
While Karen was busy, I walked back to the boys and asked, “what’s the deal with Karen?”
“She’s a Karen, obviously. You don’t know? Well none of them are human. They went down a different evolutionary tree you see, like neanderthals or whatever.”
Another band boy chimed in, “World’s full of crazies these days. Remember that homeless person in the subway?”
“Don't ever want to see that again. Still gives me nightmares. Was that dude eaten by rats or turned into hundreds of rats?”
“No bro, the rats were pretending to be human. I gave it a handful of change and half a pretzel. You saw how the blanket moved to pick everything up out of its panhandling cup. Definitely not human.”
Interesting, so nonhuman and human adjacent intelligences were common in this outside world. Perhaps those flying humans were a superior form of humanity, a superhuman species?
Gandalf.exe search running…
The story has been taken without consent; if you see it on Amazon, report the incident.
Increased brain size detected..
Estimating increased intelligence.
You are 10% smarter, new research unlocked. The answer to the question of superhumans requires more research.
New research options:
1. The Human Condition- estimated research cost 317.55 PJ.
2. The Krebs Cycle- 8 step process to convert mass into ATP energy, used by other cells in your body. Estimated research cost to unlock is 700MJ.
3. Additional Adrenal glands- located above the kidneys, produces hormones that regulate metabolism, immune system, blood pressure, and more, including adrenaline. Estimated research cost to unlock is 50MJ.
HAHA! I knew it, crabs are superior. The Krebs Cycle was clearly a reference to the crabs. Who knew that all the humans were running on crab energy.
Interesting, I can unlock more research with greater intelligence. But look at those energy costs! Did I read that right? 317.55 Petajoules of energy? I did the math in my head. The first option would take several human lifetime’s worth of energy to solve at my current energy efficiency levels. I could not imagine what the reward would even be to solve the human condition.
Option 2 is obviously the best choice. Since my brain’s research uses energy, if I had a better way to make energy, then the cost would either go down or I would be able to get more energy out of the food I eat.
Hey Gandalf, what is the energy to mass efficiency of the Krebs Cycle?
My head begins to steam again and my energy reserves drop precipitously. I could feel another stack overflow error forming.
Gandalf.exe search running…
Human.bat interrupts search, adds query suggestions and autocomplete..
Question changed to: Are there more efficient ways to generate ATP energy? Answer: Yes, Chemiosmosis added to the research tree under Krebs Cycle. Locked- You need to first research and understand Krebs before you can change to a more efficient energy system.
I took a second to consider all of my options, #3 is also a good choice. It’s cheap, only 50MJ. That’s about half a day’s worth of eating at my current rate of efficiency compared to Option 2 which takes about 7 days worth of eating to complete.
I chose Option 2 anyway, let's experiment to see if the cost of research goes down. And eating for 7 days straight sounds fun.
Karen plates something that smells even more delicious in front of us. “Meat is back on the menu boys! Long Kung Pao pork!”
With one last look at the research options, I clicked yes on #2 and followed the boys into the feeding frenzy.