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Spheresong Series
Book Three - Chapter Twenty-Two

Book Three - Chapter Twenty-Two

I woke up on Sunday with a feeling of unease. The night before, Rebecca had been both distant and clingy, which was something I had trouble wrapping my brain around. She was worried whenever I left her sight for anything, even just checking the mail, taking out the garbage, or going to shower. But when I tried to get closer to her to show I was with her right there, she would start pushing me away or find something else to do. We went to bed without saying a word to each other.

I didn’t even know if we were fighting. Was that a fight? There hadn’t been any screaming or yelling. There hadn’t even been a disagreement. It wasn’t like one of us said we’d do something before completely forgetting to follow through. All the chores had been taken care of, and since my hands had been fixed up nicely, I didn’t have to push any of them off on Rebecca. I didn’t disagree with her decision to let Megan go to school instead of taking it online. Before I could get to sleep, I kept trying to think of what I did wrong, coming up with nothing each time.

That didn’t make me feel any better when I looked over and saw her place in the bed empty. What did I do wrong to upset her? Was she rethinking my proposal? A knot of worry swelled in my stomach and rose to my throat. I had to force that back down with a firm swallow. After being gone and having it set in just how much I missed her, I knew that I wanted her to be in my life forever. I needed her to be in my life forever.

After getting dressed, I crept downstairs to see a mess of red hair bouncing around in the kitchen, trying to make a big breakfast. Judging by the size of the breakfast she was trying to make, it wouldn’t end up being a winning battle for her. Nothing was going wrong, but I could see by her shoulders how stressed she was. When I saw her pick up the knife to start some chopping, I decided it was time to step in.

“Good morning, my love,” I said, trying to sound cute and overdramatic in a way I imagined a young woman might. I wrapped my arms around her waist and lifted her in a hug, conscious of how she was handling the knife. I set her back down with a kiss on the top of her head. “You’ve been busy, why don’t you let me help you out some?”

I reached for the knife, but she pulled it away from me. “I’m okay. I’ll take care of breakfast this morning.”

“Oh, are you sure? You’re looking a little tense here.” I tried to grab the knife again. “I know the ways we both learned how to cook aren’t exactly the same, so if you need some time to adjust to any of the appliances here, I get it.”

When my hand touched hers, she dropped the knife and whirled around, anger in her usually calm green eyes. “Can I have some space, please? You get to be a hero and you’ve been a homemaker since I met you. You know, I’d like to do something on my own here.”

“Sure thing, honey,” I replied with a soft smile, not taking offense to her tone. “Sorry if I got in your way.”

She must not have heard me or didn’t process what I said, because she folded her arms over her chest and her bottom lip quivered. “I don’t have many skills here. I live in an isolated gated community today and I helped my dad on a homestead during the Civil War. This hero, saving the world stuff isn’t for me, so I want to be able to offer something to this house.”

I brushed the hair out of her face and kissed her on the forehead, which seemed to bring her back to reality. “Sweetheart, I’m sorry if I didn’t give you any space to do things you wanted or needed to do. If you want to cook, be a homemaker, or anything else, I’ll support you. But I didn’t propose to you because of what I thought you brought to the dinner table or how well you can keep a house clean. I proposed to you because I love you and you’re my home. Everything feels safe and a little better when I’m around you, even if you’re in your pajamas getting crumbs in the bed from messy potato chips.”

She put both her hands around mine and sighed. Her gaze drifted to where we were touching. “You’re one of the only people here who isn’t scared of my touch and my Anomaly.”

“I think that’s because they’re scared of a farmer’s hands.” I briefly wondered how common it was for the woman’s hands to be the callused hands in a relationship. Mine certainly hadn’t seen years of hard physical labor.

“I’m feeling insecure and you make fun of my hands!” Rebecca managed to look mad for all of two seconds. She couldn’t help but smirk and lightly slap my arm. She looked over the backs of her hands and her palms. “They do have a lot of calluses on them, don’t they?”

“I’m sorry you’re feeling insecure. Do you want to talk about it, rough hands and all?” I put my arms around her and pulled her closer to my chest.

She looked up at me, most of the anger had faded from her eyes, their usual softness returning. “Promise you won’t laugh at any of my insecurities?” I nodded, unable to even dream of laughing at her for anything that made her feel worse about herself. “I’m worried about our age, for one. I’ve been trying to use some of those social media app things to learn more about the world today, and most of the women on them seem to marry men older than them. That was common in my day too. Rose’s father was twenty-four when I met him.”

“Wait, you were a child? That’s disgusting.” I turned my nose up at that.

“But that’s just it! Is it different between us?” Her face went red with shame.

“If you had Rose when you were seventeen, that means there’s a good chance you were sixteen when you got pregnant.” It wasn’t a question. She nodded anyway. “Did he pressure you to sleep with him?”

“Well, yes, he did. He seemed like he had a good handle on things and was so effortlessly confident.” She sighed. “He acted mature and a little bit dangerous. I didn’t really want to sleep with him, but I thought I was ready to handle something like that with someone who seemed so sure of himself.”

“It’s a little different, then. Sure, you’re older than me, but I’m an adult—and was an adult when we met—and you also haven’t tried to have sex with me.” I tapped her on the nose, my action not looking like it did much to make her feel any better. “All right, let me try this a different way. Did you look at me and want to be with me because I was eighteen?”

“What? Of course not!” Rebecca looked mad that I would even imply that, which was exactly my point. “You were the one who helped me learn about what happened to my daughter. You’re not the most conventionally charming guy, sorry, and you’re not dangerous either, but I already went through that phase of my life. After that last asshole left me and a little girl, I didn’t want charming or dangerous anymore. You’re fun, you’re brave, and you might scare me to death with how you want to be a hero, but you’re the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.”

“See? It’s not so bad that you’re a few years older than me, is it?” I pulled her in close and she let out a deep breath into my chest. I rubbed her back for a few minutes and enjoyed how nice it felt to hug my fiancée. “It’s not predatory, and if it was, Shelly would have shot you a long time ago. Then she would have given me a rundown of how I need to be smarter. You’re still here, and I haven’t been screamed at, so I think we’re doing okay.”

“That’s just part of it,” she said, her voice muffled against my chest. “I feel like I’m a tier below the other girls in your life. I’m not scared of or threatened by them. They’re nice, and I do trust all of them...I can’t help but feel like I’m the lame duck here.”

“How so?” I ran my hand over the back of her head and down her silky hair.

She pulled away from me and pushed her hair back behind her ears. “Well, Lori is cute, and I think she’s done a good job as a leader so far. She can be moody and nasty because of it, but she’s kept all of us safe and has made decisions I couldn’t in a million years. She’s small and slender, which seems to be the in thing for a lot of guys now.”

“I’ll concede that she is cute. She almost gives off that kind of grown-up younger sister vibe, right? I’ve never thought about her romantically. I thought she might want to kill me when we first met, which isn’t exactly a great sign that a woman wants to be wooed, even if I had wanted to woo her. Her emotions are a bit much for me.”

Stolen from its original source, this story is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

“Val has a certain aura to her. Dangerous, mysterious, and absolutely ripped. Here I thought I was strong. That woman looks like she’s carved out of stone and could lift a truck with one hand. Plus, she’s beautiful too, even if she doesn’t ever let her face relax.”

“I appreciate Val’s help here, and I want to be her friend, but I also never considered her as a partner. She’s older than my sister. If you want to talk about age, that would be a bit much for me. We both have crappy situations with our parents, and I think she should get the chance to be happy, absolutely. Hm, sorry, no interest in wedding her either.”

“Then there’s Lizzy. She’s so positive and peppy that it feels like she should be a motivational speaker for kids. Everyone is drawn into her orbit. She’s like the sun. And she’s so, you know...” With her index fingers, she made an hourglass shape in the air. “I know I said that small and slender is popular. Women who look like Lizzy have never been unpopular. One thing being online has taught me is that people are, uh, really damn horny when it comes to women with large chests. When I look at Lizzy, it’s hard to imagine her not checking every box a guy might have. What’s her only ‘fault’? A single scar on her face?”

I snorted with laughter and had to cover my mouth with a hand. “The first time I saw her she was in a bikini. I legitimately had no idea where the hell I should look when I first met her. Yeah, she’s beautiful. And yes, just like the others, she’s just never someone I considered dating. I do love her and Lori, don’t get me wrong. You know how loveable they are. They’re...they’re more like sisters to me. I don’t love them the same way that I do you.”

“You’re not just saying that to make me feel better?” Rebecca put her hands on her hips after pulling away from me.

“Of course not, silly. Every night when I went to bed on Clamor, I looked at your picture.” I took her face in my hands. Her eyes were both expectant and patient. I was suddenly shy and nervous, so I gently kissed her to hide my nerves. “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve met. I don’t care about Lizzy’s chest or how slender Lori is. You’re the best fit for me forever. No matter how Lori and Lizzy may look or act, you’re the only one I want to spend every day of my life with.”

“Okay, you have a little charm to you, Ethan Harper. But don’t let it go to your head.” She kissed me and put her hands around my neck. Sadness pulled her face down. “I wish my mother could have met you. She wasn’t the strongest woman in the world, but you’d have a hard time finding someone who could love you as much as she did.”

“But not your father?”

“Oh, absolutely not. He would have hated your guts.” She chuckled a bit before pulling away to lean against the counter. “He wanted me to marry himself. Wait, hold on, that came out wrong. How do I describe it?”

“I get what you mean. He wanted a son—or son-in-law—like himself.” I popped a few chocolate candies we had sitting in a bowl in my mouth. Only the most nutritious breakfast would do for me.

“Yes and no. I don’t think he wanted me to be a son, per se, but he wanted one he could bond with.” She reached out her hand and I shared some candy with her. “He had a very strict and unwavering idea of masculinity and what exactly it should be. You aren’t anywhere near that idea of masculinity. You’re better. You’re better to me than he was to my mom. You’re better to Megan than he was to Rose. You know what? You were better to Rose than he was, and all you did was help me look up what happened to her after I was kidnapped.”

“I’m sorry to hear that.” I went next to her and put an arm around her shoulders, taking in her warmth and presence. “You’re one of the strongest women I know. You’ve been through so much and you still keep going. One foot in front of the other, even if it feels like it’s impossible to even crawl.”

“That’s because of you and everyone here. I want to help. I don’t want any families to be ripped apart like mine was. I don’t want our kids to grow up in a world where they’re afraid because someone like McLeod might take them or kill their parents.” She shifted uncomfortably. “But I’m worried about you. I...I don’t know if I can handle you being gone again. Especially if I know there’s no chance of you coming back to us. This hero life is not for me. I know you guys need me this time, but I can’t do it forever.”

“When this business with McLeod is over, and we will win, I promise you that I won’t be a hero. I want to be a teacher to those kids. So many have to be like I was. Confused, not sure about this hidden world they're being forced into, and they really need someone to help guide them through it. Imagine if Val had that? Her life could have been completely different.” I kissed the top of her head again and smiled. “But we’re already at ‘our kids’, huh? We skipped over a few steps, like the one where we clearly have feelings for each other and won’t do anything about it. Oh, or the one where we aren’t dating yet, but there’s only one bed in the hotel room.”

“Do ‘our kids’ bother you, Mr. Harper?” She poked my midsection with two fingers. “And we sort of had the thing with the one bed.”

“I'm not bothered by 'our kids' at all, Mrs. Soon-to-be-Harper. Or are you going to keep your maiden name? Maybe even a hyphen and use both? Rebecca Briars-Harper. Has a sort of ring to it, doesn’t it?”

She snorted. “Yeah, if you want me to sound like a law firm. Rebecca Harper is lovely. But one step at a time before we start thinking about kids too much, so I’ll spare you there. We already have one who doesn’t know you’re back.”

That was as close to splashing cold water on me without filling a bucket in our sink. As shitty as it was to admit, I’d been using Rebecca’s presence to dull the ache Megan’s absence left. My brain had no idea how to handle it. It kept screaming at me that I was never going to see her again and I had to do something to save her. The little girl was just hanging out with friends, not that my brain cared about that. The logical side of me was trying its best to keep me calm, telling me to go to my current greatest source of comfort. Thankfully, my source of comfort wasn’t too against a little snuggling up with each other.

“I’m so excited to see her. I can’t believe I’ve vanished out of her life twice now. I feel like such garbage.” Thinking about how I let Megan down was something that hurt my soul. She lost so much, and my own mental issues took me out of her life for months right after we saved her. I had less of a choice when I went to Clamor, but that didn’t make me feel any better. “Do you think she’ll want to see me?”

“Megan’s a strong girl, Ethan. Stronger than we give her credit for. She was heartbroken when she thought you were dead. Even through that heartbreak, she’s been trying, just like all of us. I think it’ll be good for her.” Rebecca put a hand to her chest and squeezed at her green sweater. “She was so loving when I got back. That room was so empty without you, and I cried so much. She wouldn’t let me sleep alone. I’m the one who’s had a daughter before, and there I was, feeling like the kid being comforted. How silly is that?”

Before I could respond, some dark smoke drifted in front of me, accompanied by an unpleasant burning smell. I looked at the stovetop, where the breakfast that Rebecca had been lovingly making was burned to a crisp. We’d been talking so much that I completely forgot she’d been actively cooking.

“Oh, jeez!” I shut the stove off and tried to wave away the smoke so it wouldn’t trigger the smoke detector. Rebecca hurriedly grabbed the pan and started to pour water on it. Steam rushed off with a loud sizzle, the smoke vanishing a few seconds later. After a few anxious heartbeats where we both expected the ear-splitting scream of the smoke detector going off, we relaxed.

“This doesn’t change anything. I want you to have me do more stuff around the house. At least until your big superhero teaching job can buy me a hundred acres and a bunch of cattle.” Rebecca winked at me and dumped whatever she was attempting to make in the garbage. “In the meantime, I may take you up on your offer for cooking help.”

“How can I say no? I have a weakness for redheads who nearly burn down my kitchen.” I wrapped my arms around her waist. Half expecting her to be annoyed, she giggled and splashed some water on my face. I pulled her closer to me and put my head on her shoulder. “I’m going to do everything I can to give you the life you want.”

“Mm, you’re off to a good start.” She leaned her head against mine and shut her eyes, the moment between the two of us feeling better than walking on air.

With Rebecca feeling better about herself, our relationship, and where we both stood in said relationship, the day was great. We did all the mushy stuff like holding hands and cuddling together during the movie night at Val’s. Everyone had a good time lovingly poking fun at us. Everyone but Alex, who still didn’t apologize for the door that he broke. The prickly bastard in me that rarely showed up wanted to make a grand appearance. It was only thanks to Rebecca nuzzling up next to me that cooler heads could prevail.

Even Val looked relaxed. Well, as relaxed as Val could look, anyway. She wore another casual dress to try and look warm and welcoming for everyone. Lori even smiled at her and thanked her for hosting, which I thought was a huge step forward. Lizzy greeted her with a hug, being about the only girl in our group tall enough to do that without putting her face in a place that would land me in jail if I did it. Braden looked a little nervous, but like Val, he started to relax just enough to look presentable. Julio, as expected, wasn’t nearly as bothered by the whole thing as Val and Braden.

Val already had a few pizzas and some sides ordered, with two-liter bottles of soda stretching all along her countertops. We all got a bunch of food, gathered on the floor, and watched the old movie on the even older equipment. No one paid too much attention since the night wasn’t even about the movie. It was a great evening of socializing, making it something I wouldn’t have dreamed of doing the year before. Val didn’t carry much conversation, but Lizzy helped out, which had Val opening up slowly. She even talked about her struggles with reading and how she had been making great progress with her skills. Everyone, even Lori, was supportive of her there.

By the time everyone was ready to go home, the sun had long since gone down, a tiny chill threatening to give summer the boot for another year. We all agreed it was going to be sweater season soon. Groaning, Rebecca—who was always a little cold—pointed out it was almost always sweater season for her. When I looked at all the smiling and laughing faces, I didn’t know if they had been happy like that since I was gone. I knew some had worked through it in their own ways and others took it harder, but everything felt right.

The only thing missing was the little girl who was having a sleepover with her friend.