A good night of sleep is not what I got. Instead, Magnus brought me to his apartment in downtown...whatever city we were in. It was interesting to see some pjulsen interior design that wasn’t a jail cell or police station, but I knew that I didn’t belong from the moment I walked in. Everything was very round and sleek. It was all, for lack of a better word, alien. Too alien for me, the alien in the room. I missed things like creaking wooden floors and chipped paint that made a house look like it was lived in, not just spruced up to look nice.
There was a couch, but it was in Magnus’ room, so I got to be his roomie for the evening. The spare room belonged to his twin brother, who had an actual human name in Gus. Not shortened or anything like that, his name was just Gus. I almost lost my mind with delirious laughter, no doubt making Magnus second-guess letting this alien lunatic sleep a few feet away from him. I didn’t mean to laugh at the guy. Gus was the least alien name I could think of, and it just broke down the last wall of defense I’d managed to put up around me.
Unfortunately, after my laughing fit, everything crashed in on me. I was doing well until I went through some of my phone pictures, most of which were Rebecca and I making silly faces and having a great time together. More than a few had Megan with the two of us. I was able to keep it together on the outside, but internally? I was a wreck. Everything felt so impossible for me. Even if the Sphere thought this planet was where I had to go to get help, what was the plan for getting back home? It wasn’t exactly a few hours away on a cheap domestic airline flight. Seeing the blurry lights of the floating cars pass by on the streets below made me realize how much of an alien I truly was. At least millions of people out there, all with their own lives, their own war to fight, living in a completely different existence than I was. There was an entire planet of those people, and I was the odd one out.
“Hey, man, I want to say sorry,” Magnus whispered like he wasn’t sure if I was still asleep.
“For what? You let me into your house. Thank you, by the way. I didn’t tell you that last night before I went to bed.” I opened my eyes, hoping they didn’t look as bad as I felt.
“I’m sorry for what you’re going through. I thought it would be cool for you to be the first of your kind to not only interact with other intelligent life but to visit a completely new planet.” He put a gentle hand on my shoulder, and I heard him let out a shaky exhale. “When you’re first thrown into my power, it can be very hard to seal off your emotions. I’ve gotten good at it with a lot of practice. I know you haven’t had that chance, so I felt more than you probably would have liked. I promise, we’re going to do everything we can to get you home.”
“And what’s that?” I asked, sitting up and rubbing my eyes. I caught my reflection in the tall window and curled my lip up in disgust. I looked awful to match how I felt.
“Sorry, man, I’m just a journalism major. The science of all this goes way over my head. I like to dig up corruption in local politics and write stories on the war, not build space cruisers.” He made a sound similar to a laugh, and I couldn’t help but crack a small smile. “But my brother and I help out big time with the moggodrackin, so I have some connections and some people owe me and my brother some significant favors. Sven is also the most powerful person on this planet, and he sees himself as indebted to you. As much as you don’t want to be here, you’re in about as favorable a position as an alien can be with us.”
“In a week, I went from a nice home life in Nebraska with my girlfriend and one of the sweetest kids in the world to killing nine people and getting stuck somewhere in our universe.” I took a look out the window, admiring the city in the bright sunlight. It looked better without all the artificial, headache-inducing neon glow. Everything looked a bit more orange, except for the sky, which was a deep blue. Small changes, but changes that separated their planet from Earth.
I realized I couldn’t keep thinking of it as “their planet”. It had to have a name. “What’s this planet called?”
“Clamor.” Magnus started to pull out a bunch of clothes and held them up to his chest. Disappointed with what he saw, he shook his head. He started to chew his lip in frustration.
“Huh, that’s a word in English. Interesting.” Focusing on my own clothes, their smell hit me first. After I scrunched my nose up in disgust, it hit me just how bad they looked. They were nasty, coated in dried blood, sweat, and dirt. I ran my hands through my hair, grossed out by how greasy it felt. “Being able to spread out across the stars is all fine and dandy. It’s impressive, truly, but do you have the great invention of the shower and hot water?”
“We didn’t get to colonize these beautiful stars without taking a break to wash our asses every couple of years.” Without looking up from his clothes, Magnus jabbed a thumb toward a closed door farther in his room. “Down there, turn left for cold, right for hot. You can use whatever I have in there.”
There were a few bottles of brightly colored liquids. They didn’t look all that different from the shampoo, conditioner, or body wash I had on Earth. That didn’t mean I stood a chance to read what was on them, which I thought was weird since I could understand what Magnus and Sven had been saying ever since the former used his power on me. Maybe the connection broke when I was inside the bathroom, or maybe he just wanted to give me some privacy. Considering I was about to be naked, I didn’t mind the gesture of kindness there.
Mentally, being able to keep everything to myself was nice. I needed a cozy, hot shower to relax, and I didn’t need someone in my head while I attempted to decompress. I got the dried blood off my head and carefully tried to clean the area where I was stabbed. That brought my attention to the scar on my left arm. As unpleasant as the memory was, at least it was a memory of home. Another memory of home was that of shampoo and conditioner, which I wasn’t sure were needed products for a race of people that were all bald. I ended up using what I assumed was body wash to try and make my hair somewhat presentable, not that anyone on Clamor knew what presentable hair was.
I was combing my hair with my fingers to gently work out all the knots and tangles that took up residence when I walked back into the bedroom. Magnus laid out an outfit on the edge of his bed and I felt the mental connection come back. Frustrated with the knots and tangles in my hair, I didn’t even focus on the clothes.
“Here, I think these should fit you, but we’ll get you some clothes today. We’re taller and lankier than humans, especially our women, so it’ll take some sizing. We’ll manage to get you a few outfits!”
He turned away while I changed, not that I could muster the energy to care much either way. To make it a little less awkward, I tried to make some light conversation. “I thought male pjulsen voices seemed a little deeper. You have other different traits?”
“Yep, different from humans, though. Everything I’ve gathered from your high school memories is that men tend to be taller and build more muscle naturally, and women develop breasts and have wider hips.”
“You understanding some human sexual dimorphism because you can just sit in my brain is one of the weirdest things I’ve experienced.” I finished putting on the outfit Magnus gave me. It was a comfortable, futuristic tracksuit thing. He didn’t have shoes for me. The ones I’d brought with me were just about the only things left from my last outfit that weren’t torn up.
“Well, it’s fascinating to learn about a species that doesn’t want to kill us.” Poor guy didn’t know how humans would likely react to the pjulsen. Even if they didn't know I was alive, I couldn't envision them reacting well to the knowledge that such powerful aliens existed in the universe. Thinking about it still made me want to throw up a little, and said aliens had been nothing but kind to me since I'd arrived. “And by the way, I try not to use this power to hear your thoughts. Some memories leak through, but I don’t use it to just spy on what you’re thinking.”
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“You welcomed me into your home, let me sleep on your couch, gave me clothes, and gave me a hot shower when you could have me locked up in a lab right now. I don’t think I have much right to complain.” Even though I said that, I was happy he wasn’t just purposely rifling around through everything that slipped through my brain. Not even I had the energy to try and keep all my thoughts from slipping out.
Eager to change the subject, I decided it’d be fun to learn about the pjulsen. “Why are the women taller here?”
“Sorry, I phrased that weird. The women aren’t necessarily taller. What they are is a little lankier. Their arms and hands are twice the length of men’s on average. See, we don’t develop breasts like you do to feed our young. Pjulsen offspring have well-developed jaws and teeth from birth, so they can eat solid food right away. Women having longer limbs is thought to have developed from the need to reach higher and farther for their food. In our earliest years, we were hunter-gatherers like I’m sure humans were.”
“That’s interesting,” I admitted. I tried to imagine a bunch of ancient pjulsen women using their hands to pull down bananas to give to their babies.
“Trust me, imagining a newborn latching onto my chest to feed might be the single most horrifying thing I could think of. In fact, I'm going to use your knowledge of humans as a basis for a horror movie. He covered his chest to protect it from all the invisible human babies hovering around. “And what’s with the hair? What does that even do?”
“Uh, as far as I know, it acts as insulation for our heads. It’s a mammal thing. Helps keep us protected from the Sun and stuff.” Sitting down on the couch, I realized that I was enjoying just chatting with Magnus about silly things that neither of us needed to know. A bright pink alien, honestly not looking too different from a human, outside of a few things. You could barely notice them, really. His mention of my hair did make me think of something. “Is there anyone here that could help cut down this mop? Do you have pets that have hair that can get trimmed?”
“We have hargons, which are sort of like dogs on Earth. They get frequent grooming, so one of them might be able to help you.” He was grinning ear to ear.
“How dignified,” I muttered. “I don’t think I’ll want to mess with taking care of my hair on a planet of bald people, so I guess I don’t have much choice. Since some people have been completely and utterly failed by biology and don’t have great locks like me.”
“This is why I’m taking you to a dog groomer for a haircut.” Suddenly, Magnus groaned and thumped his head against the wall. “I’m an idiot. We have to get you inoculated. Who knows what you brought here or what being here will do to you.”
“Uh, I appreciate that, but how’s that going to work? I don’t want to get a vaccine from you guys if you’ve never seen a human before.” I winced. “No offense to your doctors.”
“Not to fear, my friend!” Magnus pulled something out that was probably like a phone. It was two pieces of metal, both a couple of inches long. When he pulled them apart, a hologram-like screen appeared between the two parts, and he started tapping away. “My brother is our disease expert guy, sort of. The fine workings of it are beyond me, but his power lets him control bacteria, disease, viruses, and all that gross mess. If you’re sick, he can cure you. If you’re healthy, well, he can make sure you’re not. He can do it on a massive scale too.”
“How massive?” When I imagined him, I pictured a pink pjulsen in a black and green plague doctor outfit, spreading vile disease across cities with just the wave of a hand. In my imagination, it was ten times worse than the Black Death.
“As massive as your imagination. You can’t tell anyone this, and I’m only telling you because I have a good read on who you are as a person, but we’re thinking about using him to attack moggodrackin civilian centers to get them to end their war.” Magnus sighed. “We recently found their home planet.”
“Wait, you want to attack civilians with disease?” I was appalled at the idea. Magnus’ expression didn’t change. He just tapped away on his phone thing a couple more times before closing the two solid bits back together.
“No, we don’t. Attacking civilians is abhorrent, but as you saw last night, they’re not shy about it doing to us.” He crossed his arms and eyed the door that led to the living room. “I know that you had a pretty big war end similarly. It’s not pretty, but it’s something we have to be prepared to do if given the opportunity.”
I sat there silently, trying to process the idea of the pjulsen wiping out towns and cities with what was effectively a living bioweapon. It was terrifying to imagine a single person being able to do that. If it got out of control, their entire species could go extinct. A single nuclear bomb on Earth couldn’t do that. I couldn't fathom the scale required for a natural disaster to do that. A supervolcano unleashing an unprecedented eruption on the world? A meteor strike making the Earth uninhabitable? And that was the scale I was attributing to the person I was waiting to trust my health to. The guy probably could have snapped my fingers and covered me in blisters that would burst and drain me of all my blood.
After around half an hour spent idly chatting with Magnus and trying not to tear up over the pictures of my friends and family on my phone, there was a knock on the door. A pjulsen who looked just like Magnus, who I took to be Gus, walked in. He might have been an inch or two shorter than his brother. He was staring disinterestedly at a device identical to the one Magnus used a while before. “Man, do you know how busy I am at the lab today? We have-”
When he looked up and saw me sitting there, his eyes widened in shock. It was only a second before he regained his composure. He lifted his hands, which started glowing a sickly green. I responded in kind by putting up a barrier between the two of us, our differing, vibrant colors clashing against each other.
“Whoa, boys, easy! Gus, relax, simmer down.” Magnus talked his brother down, who slowly brought his hands to his side while deactivating his power. He turned to glare at his twin. Feeling like Magnus had talked Gus off the edge, I did the same and brought my barrier down. “Gus, I know this is strange. I’ll explain as much as I can later. Right now, I need your help.”
“You brought an alien here? What the hell is this?” He glared at Magnus even harder.
“Well, my name is Ethan, for starters, and your brother didn't bring me here. Well, technically he did, I guess.” I stuck out my hand for him to shake. He just looked at me like I was an idiot, so I put it back down. I didn’t need his weird green disease power all over my freshly washed hand anyway. “We don’t want to take much of your time, Gus. We just want to make sure anything I brought over from my planet is taken care of and that I won’t get sick here.”
Magnus hurried to translate for me as the English words left my mouth, leaving a dumbfounded look on Gus' face.
“Great, it knows my name.”
“He,” I corrected. “I’m not an animal. I’m just a guy.”
“You owe me big time for this,” Gus told his brother, completely ignoring me. Maybe he didn't understand the translation from his brother. “Do you know how much shit we can be in if we’re found harboring an alien? We have terrorist cells of them in our backyard! How do you know this guy isn't one of them?”
“Again, simmer down, the big guy already knows. He killed some moggodrackin that were about to attack a nightclub. Plus, I have a trance with him. He's good people, I promise.” Magnus looked like he was embarrassed and that he just couldn’t believe how his brother was acting in front of the company he invited over. “Look, can you just make sure no diseases here will kill him? His immune system is raw here.”
“I don’t even know if I can.” Gus frowned.
“You did it when we interrogated the moggodrackin. What’s the issue now?”
“I did it protecting us from their bacteria. I don’t give a shit what those guys get. I’ve never tried to protect one from our messes. I have no idea how it works on aliens.”
“Well, as we like to say on Earth, there’s no time like the present.” I stood still, waiting for Gus to do anything. I waited a few more seconds while he just kept eyeing me like I was garbage. “I’m already taken, so you can stop staring. The pink skin look isn’t for me, sorry.”
Grumbling something about how Magnus was stupid for letting me in, he begrudgingly went to work. His hands glowed green, but I didn’t put anything up to stop him the second time. I just let him run his hands along the outside of my body, like one of those metal-detecting wands you see at the airport or a sporting event. His face contorted in concentration every so often and he’d stop to hover over a few areas. Otherwise, the process was silent, almost eerily so. I thought I’d feel different somehow, but when he pulled his hands back, I didn’t feel any better or worse.
“Done. I’ve acclimated your body to be fine on this planet. It was easier than I thought.” Gus frowned and shook his head. “It was a lot more complicated with the moggodrackin. They’re vectors for vile disease. If they weren’t so stupid, they’d realize they could cause a lot more trouble just sitting in a public area coughing for a few hours than trying to gun us down in the streets. We won’t even need my help to protect against you, so you should be safe to interact with anyone.”
“Maybe it has something to with how long the Sphere’s been on Earth. They were originally made to terraform planets so we could inhabit them.” It looked like a lightbulb went off in Magnus’ head. “That has to be it! You can breathe here on Clamor with no problems. Your immune system was up to snuff here. I bet that Earth and Clamor are both perfectly habitable for us. Oh man, that’s so cool. I know where I’m going to vacation next!”