The shower was a great decision. Obviously, they bathed and had hot water on Clamor. With their overall level of advancement, I knew the showers I took were objectively better, but they just weren’t the same for me. No matter how great everything was on Clamor, there was no comparison in water pressure, space, and most importantly, knowing I had access to my own bathroom again. Even my shampoo and conditioner were still there, which made me feel conflicted. I wasn’t sure if my family not moving on in the few months I had been gone was a good thing or a bad thing. I had to have been in there for at least half an hour, but it felt like barely any time had passed before the water started to get cold. I took that as my cue to face the friends I left awkwardly hanging in the living room.
When I stepped back out into my room, Rebecca was there, sitting on the bed drawing something in a sketchpad in the dim lighting. When she heard the door close behind me, she jumped and nearly sent her artwork hurtling into our TV. When she looked at me, her face went scarlet. She started stammering incoherently while attempting to find something else interesting in the room to look at. Finally, she settled her gaze on me.
Thankfully, it was just my shirt that I forgot to put on. I realized that even though we shared the same room and slept in the same bed, we’d never actually seen each other in any state of undress. I knew being shirtless was just a little different for girls than it was for guys, but I did feel a little embarrassed myself. I didn’t know if it would have been more awkward to try and throw a shirt on knowing she was looking at me or if I just stood there and did nothing. I’d gathered a few new scars away from Earth, each one no doubt creating new worry in my girlfriend’s mind.
“You worked out there, huh?” Rebecca finally asked, brushing her hair out of her eyes. Even after calming down, her face was only a tad lighter than her hair color at that point.
“There wasn’t much to do outside of train with my powers and work out. You’re, uh, looking a little small.” I winced and felt like an idiot. Was that anywhere near an appropriate thing to tell a woman? I was able to hide my face by taking an extra long time to put a new shirt on. “Have you been eating properly?”
I thought she’d try to hide it or deny it, but she shook her head after a few seconds. “One meal a day, normally. Sometimes two on good days. Most of my energy has gone into helping Megan. Things like getting her breakfast and lunch ready, driving her to school, and helping with her homework.”
My brain didn’t waste time creating scenes of her life without me in it. I wasn’t too thrilled with how easily it made great details, like Rebecca’s dull eyes as she tried to pull herself through the day. Or how exhausted she was when she came back. I could see her at the dinner table, barely pecking at whatever meal Shelly made for her and Megan. For Megan’s sake, she would have done her best to put on the bravest and strongest face she could manage. When the little girl went to bed, the mask fell off.
I cursed my idiot brain for inventing scenarios that might not have happened, though I was confident everything played out close to how I imagined it.
“I’ll make you whatever you want to eat, I promise. If I leave again, no matter for how long, you’ll know about it.” When it dawned on me that we were actually alone, I got a little lightheaded. It was totally from the warm shower and the steam. Not anything else that was weighing on my mind. “Hey, are we good?”
“What do you mean?” She tilted her head, and even though it was nothing special, it felt like everything she did was done to sweep me off my feet.”
“I, ah, us.” I stammered and fumbled with the words like a middle school boy trying to talk to the pretty girl. “Us. Together. The two of us, are we good? Like, good being together.”
She stared at her folded hands in her lap. Rebecca was taking so long to answer that I was terrified she was going to tell me we weren’t. Oh God, what if she had moved on and started dating someone else? Sure, she kissed me when she first saw me, but emotions were running high. Shelly would have told me, but what if Rebecca hadn’t told Shelly? Given how awkward that might have been, I don’t think I would have said a word if I had been in the same boat. Suddenly, I wanted to lock myself back up in the bathroom out of fear of her shattering my heart.
“Last month, I thought about trying to date again. I prayed every night that you’d come back. I knew you were still alive; I just knew in my heart that you weren’t truly gone. After a while, everyone else tried to move forward, a little bit at a time. I thought that I should try too.”
“Do you have a new boyfriend?” My hands started to shake a little, so I hid them behind my back. I hoped I looked calmer than I felt.
“Ugh, no! Lizzy’s right, sometimes you boys are so dense.” She laughed, a light sound that told me I was home. “Come on, I tackled you, kissed you, and told you I loved you. Do you think I have anyone else but you? I only thought about trying, and when I started thinking, it made me feel sick. I couldn’t betray you like that. I couldn’t put myself in a relationship with another guy knowing my feelings for you were still as strong as ever. That wouldn’t have been fair to you, me, or that poor guy.”
She snorted and shook her head. “I was barely able to feed myself. Throw everything else out the window, I was not in the right place mentally to start a new relationship.”
I got down on one knee next to her, careful not to reveal my intention by looking like I wanted to comfort her, which wasn’t close to a lie itself. It looked like I was just trying to make our eye level more even, which helped settle me down some. For just a second, I thought I was being too rash and I was going in way over my head. After all, I was just a teenager, and what teenager got married before they started college? What boy got married to a girl he’d only been dating for a few months, a situation made even more complex by my time away from Earth? Hell, what woman in her right mind would want to marry a guy like me? With a shaky breath, I looked at Rebecca, finding her beautiful green eyes. I felt safe with her. She was home to me. Every problem I had, on either Earth or Clamor, was nothing I couldn’t overcome as long as I could be by her side.
“Rebecca Briars,” I said, voice only cracking a little, fishing the ring out of my back pocket. I held the box up to her and pulled the lid back, the expensive ring bathing her face in an array of colors. “Will you make me the happiest and luckiest person in two worlds and be my wife?”
For roughly seven years, all she did was stare unblinking—and possibly unbreathing—at the ring. I couldn’t read any emotion on her face and Lori was all the way downstairs. The woman was still as a statue, and with each second that passed by with the colors flickering in her eyes, I was scared I did something wrong. Or worse, she was going to decline and break things off. I knew she could have always said no, but I didn’t plan out what I’d do if she did turn me down. I hadn’t thought out the fine details of my proposal much at all, looking back at it.
“Is...is that what I think it is?” Her voice was so quiet it startled me. Her bottom lip was quivering and her eyes were wet.
“Uh, what do you think it is?”
“Are you really proposing to me? Is this really happening?” Was it normal for a woman to look like she was about to cry when a guy asked to marry her? A few tears didn’t seem like they would have been out of place for such a big thing. Still on one knee, I desperately wished I had better insight into a woman’s mind and feelings.
“I am.” I tried to sound as confident as I could. If there was ever a time to sound like I had everything together and I was in control of it, it was when I was proposing. I had no idea what to expect, but what I was getting wasn’t it. “Being away for four months showed me how fast everything can change. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.”
Then the reaction I expected came. Rebecca, overwhelmed with emotion, couldn’t speak. She just nodded her head repeatedly and held out her right hand. I was worried I would look silly when I put the ring on there. She was left-handed, and after seeing a jewelry advertisement, she told me she never liked jewelry that interfered with her dominant hand. Her hand was trembling so much I had to hold it to slide the ring on.
She looked between it and me, a warm smile slowly spreading across her face. I wasn’t sure I’d seen anyone so happy before. When it hit me that I was the reason this woman was so happy, a feeling of glee filled me and I had a stupid grin on my face. A year before proposing, I was a nobody coasting through high school. It was mind-boggling that someone could be so happy just by being with me. I was just me. I was just Ethan Harper. I didn’t get my appeal to Rebecca at all.
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“This ring’s from Clamor, right?” When I nodded, she stood up and admired it on her finger. “There’s no other ring like this on Earth. I would have accepted a gumball or the little tab you use to open a can of soda, but Ethan, this is incredible. I love you.”
I went to say something, anything to help complete the moment. When words failed me, she pulled the collar of my shirt and kissed me again. Not quite as stunning as the first time around, but I’d be a filthy liar if I said I didn’t enjoy the second kiss more than the first. After all, it was the first kiss from my fiancée. Over four months of stress vanished like it had never existed in the first place. McLeod, Heather, Earth, and Clamor were minor issues. I just got to enjoy a wonderful moment with my fiancée.
We went down the stairs with our hands intertwined. Our stairs. Everything seemed to take on a slightly different feeling now that we’d both promised the biggest commitment two people could to each other. The house had been ours since we were forced out of New York, but the house truly felt like it was ours. A single question, a single answer, and suddenly everything around me felt more...complete? Was put into better focus? Felt clearer and sharper? It felt right.
The pjulsen were outside, chatting among themselves while pointing at trees and birds they saw, exercising remarkable calm to not lose their minds every time they saw a brand-new creature. That restraint must have come with the territory of having multiple planets to travel to. It looked like Julio and Braden were there too, trying to communicate as best they could through hand gestures. Gus was crouching over a snail that was slowly moving across our back patio. At least they looked like they were having a good time.
“I thought you slipped and died up there,” Lizzy said through a mouthful of pizza. “I was getting ready to call a rescue team to get the two of you out of there.”
Her eyes wandered down toward Rebecca’s right hand. When she saw the ring, she dropped the greasy food on my floor, creating a new chore for me on my first day back. As if making a mess in someone else’s home wasn’t bad enough, she started shrieking and flapping her hands around like she was on fire.
“That ring! I see that ring!” She grabbed Rebecca’s hand so fast I thought she was about to rip it off her wrist. “Ethan! Ethan. Ethan Patrick Harper. Am I looking at what I think I’m looking at?”
“Yeah, and before you say anything, she’s left-handed. Don’t tell me I ruined it or give me some sarcastic comment after I nearly had a heart attack trying to put it on her finger.” I stopped and had to recall my full name. “And that’s not my middle name!”
Lori and Rosie spared me the nightmare of screaming. They opted for crowding around us and getting good looks at the ring that Lizzy was still losing her mind over. Rebecca was not shy about showing it off, but she leaned her head against my shoulder, reminding everyone it wasn’t the jewelry she was marrying. Lori gave each one of us a big hug and mentioned how happy she was for us, tears filling her eyes.
“When you guys started dating, I could see the love in the air. You’re so cute together.” She sniffled and wiped her tears away.
“I want you to make my wedding dress.” Rebecca put her hands on Lori’s shoulders when the smaller girl immediately started to protest. “I know your mom is a seamstress and you help her. You’ve gotten so much better these past few months.”
“I’ve gotten better, but good enough to make a wedding dress?” Lori started shaking her head and looking at the ground. “I will not be the one to make you look like a woman who walked through a lace tornado.”
“I don’t care how it turns out. I want you to be the one who makes it. I want all of our friends to have a part in the wedding.” My fiancée pulled Lori into a second hug, squeezing tightly. Lori silently pleaded with me for help, a source she was going to get none from. I was fine with the idea.
“Straps are a must for the bridesmaids' dresses! A strapless bra is a belt on me in an hour and I’m not battling that or disrupting your wedding to get it fixed.” Lizzy tapped her chin and clearly had seventy different things running around in her head.
“Do you have to talk about stuff like that when I’m around?” I groaned. Lizzy always had something to make me feel uncomfortable.
“You better get used to hearing complaints about annoying but insignificant girl problems. You’re going to be married to one of those girls now!” Lizzy squealed. “I can’t believe you two are getting married!”
“I think this is just a you thing,” I mumbled.
Rebecca stepped in and saved me. “Lizzy, will you help me plan the wedding and be a maid of honor? Lori, I’d like you to be a maid of honor too.”
Lizzy started crying and babbling about how much she’d love to help. Lori remained composed for the sake of everyone, only letting how much it affected her slip past her tough mask. There was so much crying going on that I wondered if maybe I should have saved the proposal for another day. Everyone was going to be drained. I was holding everything together pretty well and I was already feeling it, but I had also been in a few fights. Still, fighting McLeod was nothing compared to Lizzy tackling this wedding.
“Rosie, would you sing for our wedding?” The way Rebecca was asking the girls for their help, I got the feeling she’d considered a wedding a few times in the past. There had been some kind of plan or a few ideas rolling around in her head.
“Honey, there’s nothing in the world I’d love more.” Rosie hugged Rebecca and patted her on the back. “Aw man, I can’t wait! You’re gonna look stunnin’!”
I noticed Val was on the couch, looking insanely uncomfortable. You know those moments when you don’t know what you should be doing with your hands? She looked like she had no idea what to do with her entire body. She unrhythmically tapped her fingers on her thighs. Lori caught my concerned look and glanced toward Val.
“Hey, it’s a beautiful day today. Ladies, how about we talk about this outside? We can’t let Ethan know about all the tricks we have up our sleeve.” Lori winked and nudged me with her elbow. The others were all caught up in the wedding discussion that they didn’t pay much mind. They just followed her out, only taking care to avoid making the front door situation worse.
When I sat down next to Val, she looked surprised to see me, like she didn’t even register I never left the room.
“How’re you doing?” I asked.
Ever since Val left McLeod and his crew behind, she’d always been a little bit of a rough fit on the best of days. She had always been a little bit of an odd duck and almost always about business at hand. Lori hated her, at least for a time, but Lori didn’t react with hostility when I was worried about Val. Maybe that was a sign of changing times and brighter futures.
“I’m happy you’re back.” She tucked some of her long blonde hair behind her ear. She had trouble meeting my eyes. “That’s not what you’re asking.”
“It isn’t,” I agreed. “You don’t look too happy anyway. What’s on your mind?”
“Don’t you ever get tired of talking?” I could feel the barriers she put up, but after the day I had, I felt like I had time to chip away at them.
“Nope,” I lied, feeling my social battery dangerously close to zero. I tapped the recliner button, which set my portion of the couch to a much more comfortable position. “I’ve been waiting a quarter of a year to chat. Come on, talk to me.”
“I still don’t feel like I belong here. When you weren’t here, they weren’t mean to me. It was...it was like I wasn’t even here.” She scratched a spot on her forearm. “I felt like a ghost.”
“Well, you’re invited to the wedding, of course. Do you want to be our friend? I know that you and Lori have had a...contentious relationship so far, but have you tried to hang out with anyone here?”
“You’re the worst parts of an annoying kid, I swear.” She was getting close to being pissed. I could see her digging her nails into her skin from how hard she was squeezing her arms. Val could get as pissed as she needed. She couldn’t live with us and work with us without building some kind of relationship with everyone. “No, I haven’t. I didn’t think I was welcome to. My free time goes into practicing.”
“We’re going to fix that.” I leaned back fully and looked at my ceiling fan. “Sunday night at your place. Pick a movie. You’re hosting a watch party for it.”
She didn’t immediately reject the idea. On the fence, she mulled it over in her head. I couldn’t blame her. The last time we had an event at her house, it was revealed that Val wasn’t exactly educated growing up and struggled with literacy. A mortifying and disastrous night of Scrabble that turned out to be. That also ended up being sort of a breaking point, where Val’s strong and aloof demeanor crumbled. She ended up so humiliated and miserable that even Lori softened to her that night.
“Do you want friends here?” I finally asked. “You’ve done some very bad things, and you regret those things, right? Well, I’ve killed people I didn’t mean to. I live with that and a part of me worries that maybe I shouldn’t be happy because I’ve taken the most sacred thing from over ten living beings now.”
“You’re the most insufferable boy I’ve met. Why do you even want to be my friend so bad? I’m older than your sister. Isn’t that, I don’t know, weird?”
I stretched and sunk further into the couch. “And? I’m friends with her too. When I was gone and I wasn’t sure if I’d come back, the pjulsen made me feel at home. They welcomed me in, and I even became a minor celebrity on their planet, not that I wanted that part. I think that you’ve been excluded enough. You’ve turned your back on the only family you’ve known and you’re willing to die to make things right with Lori. If you want it, you deserve the chance to have friends and family here. This isn’t going to work if you’re going to be all broody and mopey.”
“Fine, you win, I’ll give it a try.” She crossed her arms over her chest a few times, but out of the corner of my eye, I saw the smallest hint of the littlest smile. One step at a time.
“Great, I’ll come over to help prep. I dropped this on you short notice and all, so it’d only be fair for me to help you out.”
At the same time, the girls came back inside, my sister returned from her meeting with Sven and Magnus, and everyone else came in from outside. Shelly saw the ring and gave Rebecca a fierce hug to officially welcome her to the family. Rebecca looked like she was about to faint with happiness. Shelly grimaced, turning serious and not wanting to kill the great moment.
“There’s a storm coming guys, and I want everyone here to be ready.” Shelly looked at me with a deep sadness in her eyes. I was expecting what she was going to say, but I wasn’t expecting it so soon. “Ethan, your identity’s been outed to the public. Everyone knows that Ethan Harper is the one that fought McLeod in Glendale today.”