We find Seth and Twig actually inside the Evil Tower! Apparently, the food was nowhere to be found outside so they decided they are probably better off inside - and they are! A whole banquet is prepared for them by the Evil Wizard's servants who are all too happy to help. The servants are blue from top to bottom, and they have been imprisoned in the tower for generations. They tell Seth and Twig that they are quite happy to finally welcome some guests rather than be slayed by heroes who kill them on sight.

Twig: Why is it that those heroes kill everything in their sight? Is it just because of that precious experience or do they just hate anything else that lives so much?

Big Blue Creature: I guess that's the case, yes.

Blue Creature With Glasses: Well perhaps they're just stupid? I mean, humans have such a tiny brain. It's despicable.

Seth: Why thank you.

Big Blue Creature: He doesn't mean you. He just loves to rant random subjective facts all the time.

Blue Female Creature: It's awful. Just as he never wants to believe I've got blonde hair, but he claims its just a darker shade of 'yellow'!

Twig: Well, your hair is kind of yellowish.

Big Blue Creature: Don't even start. Next thing you know the discussion about our white pants not being a color starts once more.

Seth: Well, technically...

Everyone in the room except for Seth: Shut up!

After a lot of chicken soup and mushrooms later, the table is cleared by a big group of blue creatures that don’t have any significant features that would distinguish them from one another. Since this is quite common when a world needs to be populated quite fast by a lazy creator, no one ever notices nor care much. The people who do, however, usually end up in a fable or tale as they are themselves different from the big bunch of people who can easily be replaced by any other big bunch of people.

Once the cleaning is done Seth and Twig are then led to the bottom of the dungeon, and it looks quite homey at first glance.

Twig: This looks quite homey!

Seth: Yes, it is even well lit by the candles. No creepy pentagrams, auras or anything.

Twig: Nothing to imply there is a Wizard even.

Hero #1: HELP!

Seth: Well, there is the thing about those heroes on the sofas who do not seem to be able to leave.

Twig: Oh yeah... that.

Evil Wizard: Don't worry about that too much. I don't torture them.

Hero #2: We've been here for days! Help us!

Evil Wizard: Just give me the courtesy to explain my evil plan all right? After that you're free to do as you please.

Twig: All right.

Evil Wizard: This will just take a minute! You see, as I was just telling these heroes: When I was about a few weeks old, I started to wonder which of my limbs were for walking and which would be for grabbing things. I also wondered if I actually had any say in this. Furthermore, I wondered why I was able to think this at three weeks already, but then I decided that that was something to think about later. So, I looked at my left, as I usually did after looking at my right, and I saw the same scenery as I’ve seen before. A part of my bed. A chair. A curtain. And a lot of sunlight. It was, I thought, still somewhere early in the afternoon. However, not as early anymore as it was some seconds ago.

Seth: Are there any intermissions in this?

Hero #14: No there isn't. He's been on this for days. I'm just going to play something else. Bye!

And with that, another hero left the world as if he was never there. Never to be seen again.

Twig: It's unnerving every time I see that happening.

Seth: … Play?

Evil Wizard: So I tried to wiggle my left toe, and it sometimes did wiggle. Then I started to wonder if wiggling would actually be the right word for it since it went up and down. Fluctuating would have been more appropriate perhaps. Then I started wondering if when I would actually tell this story thirty years later, whether people would know the difference between wiggling and fluctuating in the first place. Do any of you know the difference? No? Anyway-

Hero #11: Let's do something else, anything but this!

Heroes #1 through 10 and 12: Hell yes!

Seth: Hell what?

On that note the other thirteen heroes disappeared in sync.

Evil Wizard: Aww, too bad. Another group of heroes who didn't seem to be able to endure a bit longer the cutscene before the big boss fight at the end. They're so ungrateful.

Seth: Well, you are telling it from quite an early moment, are you not?

Evil Wizard: Well, yes. That's my evil plan, see? As long as I'm telling my plot as I do now, you're unable to leave or do anything. So whenever another hero comes along, he can just join the cutscene where I tell about how this all came to be. Like when I was about four weeks old, I started to wonder if there was such a thing as good or evil. I mean if I were to become an evil wizard, as I was planning at that moment, I wouldn't be able to win against any hero for the sake of progress. Yet on the other hand, the heroes would be the bad guys as I never killed anybody ever. So it didn't matter if I started to live on an Evil Mountain in an Evil Tower, and that's why people know me as the Evil Wizard that may or may not be Evil. Though that's for everyone personally to decide at the end of the cutscene. However, first you have to know more about my life of course to get a clear picture. You see-

You could be reading stolen content. Head to the original site for the genuine story.

Seth: No.

Evil Wizard: ...What?

Seth: No. I do not need to know anything more about you. Actually, I am only interested in defeating you because King Lacial has asked me to.

Evil Wizard: Ah! But he's clearly evil, isn't he?

Seth: By someone's logic perhaps.

Twig: Well... Kinda by anyone's logic Seth.

Seth: Just give me a couple of hours to explain why he may not be evil. You see, when we were at the inn yesterday-

Evil Wizard: Stop! Please stop! I'm so bored!

Seth: But this is just a fraction of-

Evil Wizard: Please stop talking! Please! I concede! You win, I lose. Bring King Lacial this tome that teleports you to the dragons. I need a vacation from your endless chattering.

Seth: But you just…

Evil Wizard: No! Not a word. I'm so BORED! I’ll teleport you to the Kingdom of... What?'s entrance and I'm taking a vacation. GOODBYE!

And with that, Seth and Twig are surrounded by a flash of green light. Seth starts hovering and Twig can almost hear Seth complain about not being able to hear the wizard's incantation as it is the first spell he ever witnesses. They hover out of the wizard's window where they can see the whole Kingdom... and more!

Seth: Oh wow. This is actually worth it! North, we have the Kingdom of... What?

Twig: Yep, and to the west of us is the Forest where Jimmy is.

Seth: And look! Below that is my home!

Twig: Good to know it's still there. But look at the castle. Isn't it… different?

Seth: I am pretty sure the pink curtains are new.

Twig: Not to mention the color of the whole castle. It's white once more, rather than that dark grey. They must've sent the Janitors.

Seth: What is that to the east of the Kingdom of... What?

Twig: Whatever.

Seth: You do not care?

Twig: I do. Apparently there is a whole kingdom over there, but no hero is allowed to enter it. And because King Lacial got tired of the complaints of said heroes, he simply banished them from ever going there and waves away every mention of it. Hence, the Kingdom of... Whatever.

Seth: I see. And north we have the big sea. What is to the west then?

Twig: The lake of... uh I can't remember the name right now. I'll get back to you on that.

Seth: And what is that strange area next to it? The yellow area with the pink dots?

Twig: That's a farm. I won't spoil what the pink dots are.

Seth: Aww. Let us go there some time when we are bored.

Twig: Or being hunted down.

Seth: What?

Twig: Oh, I dunno... It's just that dying so often as I have done, it gave me some foresight of when the next time I die will be. I'm not sure if we can see each other after that.

Seth: Gloomy. What about after the farm?

Twig: That's where everything lives that can kill humans. It's the true Evil Mountains. This one is just a wannabe. Hordes of demons and peril await.

Seth: Is there magic?

Twig: Possibly.

Seth: Interesting…

After their descent down the 'Evil Mountain', Seth and Twig find themselves in the treelines next to the Evil Mountain with the Kingdom of... What? lying north of them.

Towns’ Idiot: So there you are. I've been looking all over for you guys. I have a message from the King!

Seth: We are pretty tired Mr. Towns’ Idiot. We want to go to sleep as soon as possible.

Towns’ Idiot: Oh, but you'd love this piece of information!

Twig: All right get on with it.

Towns’ Idiot: Okay here it goes, allow me to put on a loud voice for ambiance: "The Kingdom's People are revolting! Run Seth! Run Twig! Run for the hills! And dodge the dagger that comes from your right right nnnnnnnnow!~"

In a split-second, Seth ducks and he feels something cold and sharp swooping through his hair.

Twig: Oh man, I wish we would’ve gotten that message sooner.

Seth: Then the message would not have made sense! Let us run!

(Meanwhile at King Lacial and Queen Eve's common sleeping quarters. Let's just take a quick peek without them noticing us, eh?)

Queen Eve: Am I still the prettiest in all the land. My honeywonney?

King Lacial: You still are, by law even, my hillyvanillymilly.

Queen Eve: Are my eyes still a combination of sapphires and diamonds dancing in the light, my mufflehufflin?

King Lacial: Most certainly, my pookiewookwookie. Your hair is also as blonde as golden threads singing opera in the rain.

Queen Eve: And your beard is still as powerful as the hundred ancient mages I grinded up for you to use as shaving cream.

King Lacial: I'm almost as grateful as eighty of them still, my cutesytootsyqueeny.

Queen Eve: And your hair as manes from a baby lion who will conquer the world ten times more than you already have done, my powerwowerbulljiggle.

(And Servant doesn't dare to come out of the closet right next to them.)