With a determined face and a goblin on his head, we find Seth walking once again on the main road in the City of... What? He and Twig enjoy a scenery of pillaging bandits, guards just hitting everything and everyone that even remotely looks like they are complicit to a crime in progress, and children dancing around the bonfires having the time of their lives.

Fortunately for Seth, the city has one single main road. How that would look on a world map, or even a town map, is up until this day still a mystery. For you see, the main road covers about 95% of all the roads in the city. Yet it doesn't show even the tiniest bend at all. Architects from all around the world will often flock to the city in an attempt to comprehend the impossible road, but most of those architects leave the city in complete and utter madness. And thus, become the next generation of village idiots all around the world. The cycle of life is hard at times.

Seth: I still think this is a weird city.

Twig whispering: Isn't this normal human behavior then?

Seth: You think it is normal for us humans to throw poo all over the streets, hit each other with chickens for the fun of it, and just dance around the town square naked?

Twig: Pretty much.

Seth: No, not really. That chicken thing is new for instance.

Twig: There is something that does strike me as odd though. You're ten, right?

Seth: Indeed I am.

Twig: Why do you talk like a grown up?

Seth: …

At moments like these it's always useful to have a narrator at your side Seth.

Seth: ...Thank you?

You are indeed welcome! You see, children with matured wits are simply adorable. It doesn't give you a personality, but it grants the opportunity to sway over any sort of negative feelings towards you.

Seth: Hold on a minute. That sounds way too convenient to be true.

It does?

Seth: Well, may we assume that you, as a narrator, perhaps have not really thought about the personalities of your characters in the first place? All you really do is describe what you observe. Does that not mean there is another force at work that gives both you and us certain personality traits?

Errr… Woops?

Seth: Therefore, I conclude that there must be a force above you, the narrator, that by some weird coincidence thought up a witty small boy and threw him into a world for its amusement. It then takes away his hopes and dreams, or at least makes them unreachable, to see what happens!

Writer: Woops.

Wait... I thought I was the all-knowing writer?

Writer: No, you're the narrator. Don't you worry though , you'll forget it soon enough.

... Thank you?

Twig: You've really done it now Seth…

Writer: No harm done. After this sentence you forget everything that has happened.

Seth: What did you say Twig?

Twig: Memory Gap. I think we just both spaced off for a while.

Seth: We are walking here still. Though, I get this strange feeling that we are being watched on this road.

Twig: By whom?

Seth: Everyone…

Indeed they were. Many townsfolk were staring at Seth's funny hat and started to question the liveliness of hats in general before reaching the conclusion that generally speaking: hats do not talk.

Seth: You forgot to whisper, did you not?

Twig: Run Seth! Run for the hills!

Meanwhile at the Castle.

Servant: I present to you the taxes of this year Sir.

King Lacial: How are the tax collectors faring?

Servant: Pretty good Sir. Only fifteen casualties among the hundreds.

King Lacial: That's a new record isn't it?

Servant: Yeah, the spice spray worked out in our favor.

King Lacial: Any other ideas to ward off people from the tax collectors yet?

Servant: Not really Sir.

King Lacial: Come on. I'd love to be entertained by you Servant. Don't you have a slightly sadistic side?

Servant: You mean like you?

King Lacial: I'm not sadistic. I'm just slightly intolerant of the invisible laws of socially acceptable human behavior.

Support the creativity of authors by visiting Royal Road for this novel and more.

Servant: Wow... That actually sounded smart.

King Lacial: So, Servant. From the top of your head?

Servant: Like... replacing the spice spray with spider venom?

King Lacial: Good, good.

Servant: Set the attacking villagers on fire and use them as shields against other villagers? Cursing them so that they are obliterated when they have coins hidden in their house? Finishing off the offspring one by one until the last penny has been shown?

King Lacial: Err… You know there is no mag-

Servant: Skinning them and make them sell their leathery skins for gold? Donate organs they may or may not need? Letting them rot on a-

King Lacial: Enough Servant! You know my stomach becomes upset when it’s being confronted with even a little too much cruelty. Also, summon my doctors immediately!

Servant: Of course my Liege.

Five minutes later

Servant: Your doctors have arrived Sir.

King Lacial: Good. Guards! Arrest these men. They haven't paid their taxes.

Servant: Does that mean you aren't sick Sir?

King Lacial: Not even a little bit. Why do you ask?

Servant: ... Never mind.

King Lacial: And do to them the things that the Servant requested.

Servant: They will suffer... Because of me?

King Lacial: Yeah, they deserved some lesser gradation of torture than the usual. They were excellent at their jobs.

Servant: …

King Lacial: So please stop puking and finally tell me what is our annual income this month?

And with this we conclude another day for you and me in Kingdom's paradise.

After a lot of searching throughout the city by following the main road straight on, we find Seth and Twig being chased by a whole squad of guards. One looking crueler than the other.

Twig: Why is it always us?

Seth: It is like everyone is out to get us.

Twig: Watch out for that market stall to your right!

Seth: Why are you still on my head?

Twig: …

Seth: ???

Twig: Because it's fun?

Seth: …

Twig: Riding a human, it's awesome. Your hair is perfect as well, see like two levers.

Seth: Ouch!

Twig: And a honk! Awesome. Right into the alleyway!

Seth: Ouch! Why?

Twig: Sorry, I was just testing. Oh dear, a dead end. What now?

Seth and Twig are indeed trapped, and the guards are surrounding them as I speak. Wonders why I keep talking though. It would only make our heroes more and more surrounded than they're already are.

Twig: Yelp.

Seth: I got an idea.

Even as the guards come closer, Seth takes the time to chant words impossible for anyone to comprehend. Odd gestures are waved, and it seems that Seth goes into a deep focus. Will this be the first actual spell Seth comes up with? Seth takes a very deep breath. Scans his surroundings and…

Seth: Oh my god! Look at that food stall. Those discounts are criminal!

All the guardsmen look simultaneously bewildered towards the market stall.

Guard 1: Wow, fifty percent off Week Old Bread? That's outrageous!

Guard 2: And look at those tomatoes. Eighty percent off while more than half isn't currently eaten by rats!

Guard 3: Leave this kid. We've got greater fish to fry! And I don't mean that fish that's currently eating that rat! With also a ten percent discount, wow. Those bargains are criminal.

Shopkeeper: But-

Guardsman 4, 5, 6, 7 and 18: Let's get him!

An old-fashioned combat dust cloud emerges even before the battle starts, while Seth and Twig quickly tiptoe away from the ruckus.

Twig: Hey, this wasn't a dead end after all, it was just an optical illusion they painted on the wall to stop the people they pursue.

Seth: Where did they get the idea from?

Twig: I wouldn't know, but they're more thief friendly than those pointy spike traps they had last year.

Seth: My feet hurt just by thinking about it.

Twig: Also, time for Goblin Hat mode!

Seth: Aww…

Twig: Don't complain! The Goblin 'Sewers' King Lacial was talking about are just around the corner.

Seth: What corner?

Twig: Now my head hurts.

And so, Seth and Twig almost but not quite, reached the Goblin 'Sewers'. Will they ever be able to fix the conflict between the goblins and the King? Will Twig ever let go of Seth's head ever again?

Seth: Hey! I surely hope so!

You may or may not find out next time!