Luckily, despite my worries, no monsters happened upon us during the night. So, after a peaceful breakfast (with true food!) we continued our journey to who knows where without issue.

…Sadly, such luck couldn’t last as we were soon attacked by some- “Incoming prairie dogs!” Rapunzel warned. Yeah… those.

Who bolted right towards me…

And, of course, while the party could stop most of them, there were too many, so one got through. I was able to block its bite with my arm, but it was still quite annoying.

Especially when there’s a stupid snake here as well! Which, of course, bit me. And, as if that wasn’t enough, it must have been a baby or something, as it just kept injecting me with venom for the entire battle (one of the various things Hansen taught us about).

Luckily, everyone was quite capable of dealing with some wannabe wolves, especially ones that, while noticeably faster, were much more fragile, so I was quickly rescued.

Though it’s quite embarrassing to have to be rescued from such a weak enemy... It didn’t even hurt me!

Haa, I’m going to have to learn how to fight, aren’t I? Like, I probably could have dealt with that myself if I’d just whacked it with my staff or something; I am fairly strong, after all. And that’s without including my buffs!

Besides, it’s not like I don’t have anyone to help me. Newfound motivation acquired, I decided I was going to ask everyone for some advice.

And, well, as there’s no time quite like the present: “Hey, can you guys teach me how to fight?”

Deja vu? This is the second time they’ve looked at me like that on just this trip! Why!?

“Okay, why do you want to learn?” Rapunzel asks diplomatically.

“Yeah, it’s not like we need you to fight with us,” Melly added.

“I mean, I don’t plan on becoming a proper combatant or anything; I just want some pointers for while we travel. And it’s not like I need that much, I don’t plan on becoming a paladin after all; I just want to be good enough to not be completely defenseless. Like, come on! I should at least be able to handle a single wolf; I’m part of the Hero’s Party!

“Oh, I was worried you wanted to become a paladin instead of the saintess.” Melly comments, relieved. Oy.

“Not at all; I just don’t want to be a burden against such simple threats.”

“You aren’t a burden, Eli,” Rapunzel assures.

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be better if I could at least somewhat defend myself, you know?” I counter with a shrug.

“True…” She reluctantly admits.

“Besides, with my buffs, I should have all the raw power I need; I just lack the know-how and experience to properly use it.” Then, because it was bugging me, I corrected Melly. “Also, Melly, you can be a paladin and a saintess at the same time.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, it’s just really rare.” Like only ever happening two times rare—well, it could be argued that there was a third time…

Assassins count as paladins, right?

“Anyway, merits aside, what brought this up?” Rapunzel asks, jolting me from my thoughts.

“I just felt that I should be able to handle myself a little better, you know?”

“It's because she couldn’t handle a dog.” The Hero cruelly pointed out.

“It's because I couldn’t handle a dog…”

Ignoring the Hero’s laughter, everyone was quite helpful with their advice. And while I still don’t think I’ll be combat-ready for a while, it shouldn’t be long until I can be considered a proper novice!

…That sounded a lot better in, my… head?

Huh

______

Sadly, we had to cut my guidance short as we'd arrived at another town.

Which, like always, we approached perfectly. Just Normal Hero Things as usual.

Hmm, I wonder if anyone else has noticed our weird approach? And I don’t mean this one; I mean in general. Like, it’s unlikely, considering any such instances would probably be seen as a result of either experience or coincidence. Still, the idea of someone truly noticing and being just as confused as us is entertaining.

Tangent aside, why are we here? Like, it's (checks sun) not even noon yet, which makes me think we are here for something. He’d probably adjust our pace to time it perfectly just to show off otherwise. Besides, it’s not like the hero can control the position of the sun… right?

And it seems like I’m not the only one who’s noticed, as there’s an odd tension as we are led through the town by the Hero (we’ve long accepted his strange navigational abilities).

So, what sort of nonsense is the Hero leading us to now? A gang fight? A burgeoning plague? Oh, maybe we’re here to stop the local lord from being assassinated! Even doing the assassination could be possible, though unlikely. Hmm, maybe he needs the right timing to stop them in their tracks? Or to find some evidence for blackmail?

It could really be anything with the Hero.

As if noticing my thoughts, the Hero announced, “Here we go; this is what I was looking for.”

...upon seeing some random girl who’s being harassed by a few thugs.

I mean, good on you, Hero, just... Is this really your reason for coming here?

Whatever, I can worry about that later. We have some thugs to, well, bully...

“Excuse me, gentlemen, would you perchance be so kind as to inform me as to what you are doing?” Greg asks after being prompted by the Hero.

“What’s it to y-gasp!” A thug starts before freezing upon actually seeing us.

Unauthorized use: this story is on Amazon without permission from the author. Report any sightings.

And, yeah, that’s completely understandable, considering we’re all (except me, of course) equipped in full dragon scale and bone armor with matching armaments. I wouldn’t be too surprised if one of them suddenly had a heart attack at the sight.

“Would you be so kind as to inform me of what activities you are partaking in?”

“We ain’t doin' nuthin'!”

“So you are doing something,” Greg replied. Man, I could all but hear the smirk in his voice.

"I didn’t say that!”

“I do believe you did.”

“Where’d you get that idea, Sparkles?” What?

“Excuse me!?” See, even Greg is confused! And the Hero is holding back his laughter…

“You heard me. Just like you heard me before.” The thug then smirked conspiratorily. “Unless, of course, you didn’t?” He suggested.

...What? Is, is that his plan? Does he think that will accomplish anything? What is he, twelve?

…Well, I guess if it was just happenstance that we interrupted them, then perhaps something that simple could have everyone leave peacefully. But we, presumably, are here specifically to rescue the girl, so I doubt that will work.

…You know, I really expected the hero to suddenly jump in and accept just to spite me. Haa. I’m so paranoid about the Hero surprising me that I expected it in the most ridiculous of situations.

Still, the thug apparently took our stunned silence as some sort of victory, judging by the smile that he gained. Just... why, though? Haa. I’m confused.

And I’m not the only one, considering Greg was sputtering. I never thought I’d see that. Luckily for us, we have a hero to save the day!

"It's quite obvious how sheltered you are if you think that’s clever.”

…or not…

As the thugs bristled, I wondered why I thought the Hero would de-escalate. It’s not like he led us here to politely ask them to play nice or something, right? That doesn’t fit the Hero’s obsession with directness and efficiency.

Anyway, while I was thinking, the thugs decided to retaliate. With words, of course, an obviously experienced party fully decked out in dragon gear is not something you want to mess with. Even if you only recognize some of those features.

We’re not a subtle bunch, that’s for sure.

“Who you calling sheltered, you, you, you doodoohead!”

“That the best you got? I’ve heard better insults from the dingos!” Has he? Like, it’s ridiculous, but he’s the Hero…

“You take that back!” A thug shouted, unnaturally offended at the simple insult.

“Make me, muffin head!” A different thug screamed in outrage at that.

I’m starting to think I’m just, um, what’s the opposite of sheltered? Whatever, I’m that when it comes to insults. I guess being an orphan just comes with thick skin?

Honestly, this whole experience is surreal. I looked to my companions to see if they were just as confused as I was, but results were mixed.

Like, yeah, there was some confusion there, but there was more… caution? Anticipation?

They looked like they were waiting for the situation to change, likely due to a sudden onset of violence.

I mean, I guess a fight could break out, but I doubt the thugs want to fight when not only are they outnumbered and likely outclassed, but we have an obvious healer and mage in our party. That’s not something you want to tussle with—something I learned as an orphan.

It’s alarming how often I was the deciding factor in a fight back then, too. Not even because I was an effective supporter, but because the presence of such a force multiplier effectively, well, multiplied how many combatants there were.

Also, people got a lot more brutal if you targeted their healer, especially compared to how mild most of our ‘fights’ tended to be.

“You don’t understand the magnanimity of Mount Tai!” What does that even mean, Hero!?

Also, what did I miss? Did I somehow tune out the entire idiotic ‘conversation’?

Luckily for my sanity, the guards chose this moment to finally show up.

“What’s going on here?” He demanded.

“Nothing too serious, sir, just an argument that got a little more heated than intended.” A thug explained.

The guard then looked at us. “Is that so?” He asked expectidly.

The Hero, being the Hero, ignored the guard who spoke up and instead walked up to his partner.

Annoyingly, we couldn’t hear what he said as he decided to whisper it for some reason. One that’s just as likely to be important as it is to be for messing with us.

You know, it’s probably both. If you can accomplish multiple goals simultaneously, why do them separately?

The mysterious smile he gave us afterwards certainly didn’t help us any.

Still, whatever he told the guard must have been important, as she quickly went about arresting the thugs. I wonder if it’s because of what they were doing now or if the Hero somehow got dirt on them.

The first guard’s reaction was suspicious, though, so his decision to ignore him was apparently warranted. Just another Hero thing. Man, this town is unusually full of those. Is the Hero compensating for the time we spent apart or something?

Whatever, what’s important now is figuring out what’s so important about this girl that the Hero went out of his way to help her.

I mean, helping people out is its own reward, but the Hero is too pragmatic to spend so much time on such a simple thing.

“Um, ah, th-thank you, for, uh, helping me.” The poor girl nervously bowed.

“No problem; I’m glad we could be of assistance to you.” The Hero declared with an exaggerated bow, causing her to blush. Oddly, she still seemed worried about the thugs that were being taken away, which raised some more red flags in my mind.

Perhaps these weren’t just some common thugs simply harassing a cute girl; they might have, in fact, been doing something sinister instead.

A thought reinforced by the Hero comforting her. “You don’t need to worry about them anymore; they’ll be far too busy dealing with their own issues.” He smirked.

“Really?” She asked, doubtful yet desperately hopeful.

“Of course! I wouldn’t be the Hero if I couldn’t do something like that.”

“Hero!?” She doubted, which makes sense—how likely is it that the Hero would show up here after all? Especially in a land ‘abandoned’ by the Gods.

Still, we have IDs for a reason, as shown when the Hero takes out his.

“You really are…” She all but whispers, her hands shaking in disbelief as she stares at the card she holds.

“Also, have you tried adding ginger? That, with a pinch of salt, should do wonders for your recipe.” The Hero suddenly added.

Her eyes suddenly lit up at his suggestion. “How could I ever thank you… Will I ever see you again?”

“We will eventually return to the capital; perhaps we’ll meet again there. If your recipe is good enough, there might even be a job waiting for you!”

“I’ll be there!”

Is he recruiting a chef? I mean, as a true chef, doing that sort of thing makes sense…

But really?

Increasing my confusion, the Hero bid farewell before leading us back where we came from.

Was, was that it? Was that the entire reason we traveled here?

…

Apparently it was, considering we are now leaving through the gate we entered from!

And just to rub it in that, yes, we really traveled all this way to deal with some thugs to recruit some chef (there’s no way she won’t be there, not with the Hero having planned this), we started traveling in the completely opposite direction than we were before.

Well, mostly. It’s still obvious that this was a detour, but it’s not quite the complete opposite. Technically, there was a different gate closer to our path, but the hero was making a point by choosing to reuse the previous one.

Probably.