I then spent the next few days training. For most of my time, I was taught by Samuel, though I made sure to also train with Melly every night.

The main thing that happened, other than more nightmares, was that the strain my core was causing kept slowly catching up to my vein growth. It sadly didn’t take all that long for it to catch up. And once it did, it was even quicker to surpass it.

I used to only have to heal my veins every half an hour or so, that being what I set as my baseline. But, a day later, I had to heal every fifteen minutes of magic use. Though, that was without reducing the density of my casts. Haa, how long can I last?

Well, two days later, I got my answer.

At first, I thought it was a fluke or a mistake, but sadly, that was not the case.

“My veins aren’t growing anymore,” I say in shock.

“Already? That’s sooner than we thought.” Samuel responds.

“Yeah, though my choice of casting everything at full power to maximize my vein growth didn’t help,” I add.

“Correct. I told you that you were increasing the growth of your core by doing that, but you decided to keep on going.”

“Yeah, because that also slowed down the growth of my mana veins.” And I was hoping it would help me use my new spell better, but I’d need to be able to cast it soon for that to have mattered.

“You were speeding everything up when you were already struggling with the time you had left.”

“I believed that making sure the growth of my mana veins was fast enough would give me more time, though. Haa, I guess I was wrong.” I sighed.

“Likely, though I will admit that it occasionally did seem like your way would be better. In the end, though, it seems you were wrong. Now you just have to hope you finish soon.” He advised. “Luckily, you should have only lost a day, with almost two being the absolute limit.”

“Yeah. Even if I learned the spell now, though, it would take a while for it to show results.” I added.

“Correct, that’s why you need to learn it as soon as possible. Now, let’s get back to practice.”

“You know, there is a way to learn it faster,” I suggest.

“You don’t mean…”

“I do.”

“No! That’s too costly. You still have time.” He refused.

“Time that is also needed to use the spell and learn two more! I’m almost out of time. The core is just too strong.” I argued.

“No, besides, you still have the Hero’s density technique. That should give you at least another week. And, with the rate at which you are straining your veins, this spell should work quite fast. Remember, around sixty percent of your increased potential comes from the first spell. That should give you enough time to learn the second, gaining the next thirty-odd percent of your limit’s growth.” He explains.

“Yeah, but that requires me to learn this spell soon. Even though I’m learning faster than initially expected, I still need a few more days. I’d be repairing my veins after every single spell by then! Besides, if I take too long, I might not even be able to cast it! At this point, I am scarily close to losing my magic forever! I’d much rather just lose a few years of my life than lose it entirely!” I cry out passionately. “Besides, the amount I’ve learned should hopefully reduce the strain I receive,” I add with a nervous smile. Haa, I’ve already lost. It’s time to pay the price to scavenge what I can.

“Fine. I’ll teach you. I hope you don’t use it, but in the end, it’s your life and your choice. And I can understand your fear of losing your magic as well. In some ways, it’s worse than a warrior losing their limbs; at least they have a chance to regrow them.” He relents. True, though I’m more scared of living a life without magic than losing it.

I mean, there’s a chance I’ll just end up dying on my adventure anyway. It’s not like we are actually characters in a story, destined to win in the end. Also, without me, there’s a higher chance that everyone else might die, possibly letting humanity get enslaved by demons, which would be a fate far worse than dying early. Well, if we died early enough, they might be able to summon a new Hero.

And, you know, it’s not like we are the only ones trying to kill the demon lord. We’re just the most likely to succeed.

So, Samuel, albeit reluctantly, taught me how to instantly learn a spell, and I have to say, whoever figured this out had to be insane. Why would anyone ever…

Afterwards, well, we just continued our training like usual, just with a somber mood. I then ate dinner and trained with Melly. Once we finished that…

“Haa.” I sighed. What am I going to do?

“What’s wrong, Eli?”

“Well…” I hesitated. Haa, whatever, she’s already worried, and having another opinion would be helpful. “Today, I hit the limit of my vein’s natural growth.”

“Con, graduations?” She says in confusion after seeing my expression.

“Normally, it would be good, but my mana is still growing. I’m still a ways off from learning my next spell, but I'm close to needing to repair my veins after every spell. And once I go past that… Haa.” I pull my knees to my chest. “I, I’m so close…”

“To succeeding?” Melly hoped.

“To losing...”

“Oh, that’s… not good. Is there anything you can do?”

“Well, I might end up fine… might. Haa. Right now, I think my best choice is to just instantly learn my spell.”

“But, that would-” She starts before I cut her off.

“Yeah. The worst part, however, is that it might take just as much out of me despite me being decently familiar with the spell. Would it be better for me to use it on my second spell? While I would still end up suffering for a while, two spells should be able to resolve my situation. And well, if they don’t, it just means I was doomed from the start.” Haa, that just makes this worse! I might go through all of this just to fail anyway! Haa, calm down. I need to believe in the Hero, who isn’t here when I need him!

“Do you think that it would cost less to use it now? And would that give you the chance to calmly learn your next spell?” She asks.

“While we don’t have any evidence, it makes sense that it would strain me less if I don’t need it as much. And, you know what, you’re probably right. In addition, it shouldn’t be nearly as difficult to learn the second spell once I’m familiar with the first!”

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“That’s good, at least. Though it still isn’t ideal.”

“Yeah. Stupid Hero, why’d he force this onto me!” I complained. “Regardless, I have to choose one.” I sighed as I started calculating, as Melly comforted me.

“Okay. I’m going to use it now. While your points are important, the main reason is that worst case scenario, I just have to instantly learn the second spell as well.”

“Doing that would cost you even more, though!”

“But not as much as losing my magic.”

“At least then you can keep on living!” Um, I think she’s really overestimating the cost of drawing out power. Or underestimating my reliance on magic.

“Okay, let’s look at it this way; losing my magic would be like you losing your arm. How would you feel about possibly losing your arm? Permanently. To never be able to wield a weapon with it again?” I asked.

“That would… ruin me.” She declared. “It would thoroughly extinguish my dream of becoming powerful. I’d have to change my lifestyle completely.”

“Exactly. It’s the same for me. Not only would I lose my power, I’d lose any meaning in my life. Magic gave me purpose, hope, the possibility of having a home. Without it, I’d truly have nothing…”

“You would still… have.”

“Have what? I bet my life on my healing magic. It’s the only thing I have that I can rely on!”

“What about us, your friends,” Melly argued.

“Friends that I only got because I was the saintess, which I became because of my magic. Everything, everything I have, is thanks to my magic, Melly. I just, I don’t have anything else.” I sighed. “Yeah, I don’t doubt that you guys would help me out for a while. But you will have to leave to kill the demon lord eventually.”

“Fine. I just hope that it’s worth it..” Melly relents after seeing how much this is affecting me.

“Okay, let’s begin,” I say, pulling out the spell book.

“Now? Shouldn’t you, at least, wait until tomorrow so Samuel can help you?”

“First, I doubt he’d let me without a fight. Second, my core is still fusing as we speak. Since I’m already spending lifespan, I should, at least, get as much out of it as I can, right?”

“Right. If you can do it properly on your own, at least.”

“Don’t worry. While it is a bit eccentric, it’s not that hard to do,” I say as I finish setting everything up.

I ripped out every page of the book (don’t worry, it’s a copy) and spread them out evenly around me. I then need to infuse each page with my mana before desperately trying to cast the spell. Those pages will then be destroyed, causing the knowledge held within to be transferred to me; the more damaged the pages are, the better. Also, how this precisely happens changes based on your mana trait, so I’m curious to see what my mana does.

I make sure to infuse each of the eighty-three pages with enough mana that patient analysis works on them (A weird effect things like paper have), spending around half of my mana. I then focused on my desperate desire to learn the spell (particularly easy when I might lose my magic otherwise) and tried to cast the spell from start to finish.

After a short while, the pages start to rip themselves apart in chronological order. I, I can feel it. The spell, I’m learning it. It’s working! I can feel the strain, though, as if something was lost.

Soon, every page was shredded into powder as the spell completed itself in my mind. Before I could relax at my successful technique, though, the paper powder ignited.

“What!?” I shouted in confusion.

Luckily, the fire quickly burned out, so other than some burn marks on the floor, it didn’t cause any harm.

“That was… odd,” I mutter.

“Yeah, what was that?”

“Who knows, maybe the paper was just too dry?” I offer. I don’t know why, but I have a feeling that it was somehow related to me. “Well, that doesn’t matter. What does is that I’ve mastered my spell!”

“Good job. You just need to cast it now.”

“Yeah, just give me a minute,” I say, checking my condition. Huh, I feel oddly… energized. Like, more than just full of energy, it’s actually overflowing. It is almost challenging to sit still. Is, is that because I burned some vitality? Well, I’ll just have to ask Samuel tomorrow. Haa, I’m not looking forward to that.

“Haa, okay, let’s try out my spell!” I cast it and, “By the Gods…”

“What? Did it fail? I knew we sh-”

“No, it worked. It really worked. Excessively worked, even.”

“What do you mean?”

“I now understand why people kept drawing out power.”

“What! Why?” Melly shouted in worry.

“It’s just so… complete. I never knew spells could be mastered to such extremes. They can’t be; this is impossible. Haa, that’s why.”

“Eli, I have no clue what you are talking about.”

“Ehem. Sorry about that. So, I didn’t just learn the spell. I didn’t even just master it. No, I ascended it. I understand the spell so much that I’ve surpassed its limits. I’ve surpassed what people are physically capable of, Melly! I might even be able to increase my limits even further than deemed possible! Especially if I did this on the other two spells as well.” I smile at the thought.

“Eli! Don’t. It’s not worth it!” Melly begged.

“I know, I know. I won’t do that… unless it’s necessary.” I mutter.

“Eli!”

“Hey, if that’s what it takes to keep casting magic, then that’s what I’ll do! But! I really don’t plan on doing that otherwise. So, while this is amazing, I don’t know what the actual cost was. I’m hesitant to use it again.” I accept. “Despite how amazing it is,” I mutter.

“Just how good is it for you to be like this?”

“Well, it sorta feels like I’ve been enlightened or something. I fully understand the spell. What it can and can't do, what each and every part does, and why. I’ve even memorized the entire thing, all eighty-three pages.”

“That’s impressive.”

“Yeah, and that’s just the normal stuff.”

“There’s still more?”

“Of course! It wouldn’t be addicting if that was all. What’s addicting is how I can draw out even more. It’s like it’s supernatural or something. It’s beyond perfection. I don’t know how to describe it. I barely even understand it. It’s just… better. And it feels so good. Haa, I really want to cast it.” I smiled.

“You look addicted. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“What? What do you mean?”

“That smile wasn’t a normal, happy one. It looked like you’d lost sight of reality, as if you were on drugs or something, like your mind wasn’t quite there.”

“That’s, like, really bad, isn’t it?” I worried. “Haa, it really is addictive, huh? Melly, I need you to do me a favor.”

“Tell me.”

“Don’t let me draw out power without discussing it with you first. Use force if necessary. I won’t let this consume me.” I say firmly. “Oh, also tell everyone else, just in case,” I added.

“Will do. I’ll also apologize in advance. I’m sorry if I hurt you.”

“No worries. I’m sure I’d thank you afterwards, even if it would take a while.” I smile, thankfully with a normal one. “Okay, I’m going to cast some spells real quick so I can actually check the results of the spell.”

“Does infusing your mana not work?”

“No, infusion and basic mana enhancement almost never strain your veins. It’s the act of changing your mana into a spell or technique, empowering your mana beyond its natural state, that causes damage. So even if you lose your ability to cast magic, you could, theoretically, still live a normal life.”

“Theoretically…” I gave a sad smile at that.

“Okay, let’s go!” I say as I cast my spell.

“Wow, my veins have gotten better.” It, it’s everything I hoped for and more! I can feel my veins improving! Probably. I might just be imagining it.

“Yeah, that’s what the spell is supposed to do. I’d be shocked if it didn’t.” Melly commented.

“Yeah, normally, but this is doing more than just strengthening them; it’s making them better!” Melly just gives me a ‘yeah, that’s what I said’ look. “I mean, my mana is flowing better than before. My capacity has increased, as has its regeneration. I don’t quite know how much, but this is great!”

“That does sound good, but how much of an increase will you really have?” She asks, dampening my excitement.

“Uh, I don’t know. I should be able to notice by the end at least.” I argue. “Haa, this is really addicting. I’m sure it’s more than just because of how great the power is as well. While worrying, I should be able to calm myself down, especially with your help.”

“I’m here to help.” Melly smiled. “Now, let’s go to sleep. You’ve got a lot of work ahead of you for tomorrow.”

“Haa, yeah. Well, good night, Melly, sleep well.”