“Owww, noisy,” Alexa rubbed her ears. “How’d you do that?”

“Do what?” Zee Captain asked.

“Speak in big, bold, purple, capital letters,” Alexa said, squinting at the System Wizard.

“System Wizards can do many wondrous things,” Zee Captain replied.

“Well tune it down, you’re scaring poor Charles,” Alexa said, waving a hand at the black haired boy who was looking terrified.

“Neither of you should be here,” Zee Captain’s gloved finger pointed at Charles and Sasha. “You are not…”

Alexa pulled the torn yellow ticket from the fold of her conceptual raygun, tore it into three somewhat even pieces and handed two pieces to Charles and Sasha.

“There,” she said. “Now they have a ticket.”

Zee Captain’s head snapped at her.

“You can’t just…”

“I already did it, Mr. Wizard,” Alexa said. “And if you don’t approve of my life’s choices then maybe you don’t deserve to be my humble Instructor. You’re late.”

“I…” Captain began.

“You’re not being a very good wizard,” Alexa pointed out. “According to John Ronald Reuel Tolkien, a wizard is always on time!”

Zee Captain’s shoulders slumped slightly. “I was late because someone destroyed the transit terminal,” the masked figure explained with a sigh. “I had to waste precious time remaking it before I could catch this train.”

“Oh no!” Alexa’s eyes widened in mock surprise. “How terrible! Who would do such a dastardly thing?”

“A very dangerous criminal,” Zee Captain replied, violet lenses fixed on Alexa’s [Murderer] tag. “One who needs to be taught the error of their ways.”

“Eh, I’m sure you’ll catch them eventually,” Alexa said with a dismissive wave. “In the meantime, why don't you join us? There's plenty of room.”

Zee Captain seemed to hesitate, glancing between Alexa, Charles, and the starry form of Sasha, one gloved hand buried deep in the coat’s pocket.

“I suppose I must,” the System Wizard finally conceded, stepping fully into the compartment and sliding the door shut. “Someone needs to keep an eye on you troublemakers.”

“Troublemakers? Us?” Alexa grinned innocently. “We’re just simple pair of students who are eager to learn and a new Instructor eager to teach! Right, guys?”

Charles nodded nervously while Sasha’s form rippled in what might have been mild amusement.

“Indeed,” Zee Captain muttered, settling onto one of the seats. “Well then, shall we begin your first lesson?”

Alexa leaned forward, batting her silver lashes. “Oh yes, please educate me! I’m a void of vast ignorance and juuuuust dying to learn!” She exclaimed with an over-dramatic flair.

Zee Captain’s violet lenses seemed to narrow at Alexa's overly enthusiastic response. The System Wizard’s gloved hands fidgeted slightly.

“Your sarcasm is noted, young lady,” Zee Captain said dryly. “Perhaps we should start with a lesson on proper decorum.”

Alexa rolled her eyes dramatically. “Oh yes, please lecture me on wizardly manners, O Wise One. I’m sure that’s exactly what I need to become a great and all-powerful System Wizard.”

Zee Captain’s mask tilted slightly, as if considering how to respond to Alexa's increasingly volatile sarcasm.

Alexa leaned back in her seat, a mischievous glint in her silver-blue eyes. "Actually, before we get to proper decorum, I have some questions about your impressive list of titles, O Anointed One."

She began ticking off points on her fingers before Zee Captain could even say anything. "First, 'anointed sovereign' - who exactly did the anointing? Was there a fancy ceremony with oils and crowns? Or was this a self-declared sovereignty ritual involving a bottle of expired cooking oil?"

Zee Captain's posture stiffened slightly. "That's not-"

Stolen from its rightful place, this narrative is not meant to be on Amazon; report any sightings.

"Oh, and 'emissary of humanity'!" Alexa continued, speaking over the Wizard. "Did all of humanity get together and vote on that? Because I certainly don't remember casting my ballot. Must've missed that memo."

"Now see here-" Zee Captain tried to interject, but Alexa was on a roll.

"'Prescient governor'? So you can see the future, huh? Tell me, O Wise One, will I pass my wizardly exams? Will I be a goodly and just Wizard? Or will I spectacularly fail and blow up half of Manchester in the process?" She grinned wickedly.

"Young lady, I must insist-"

“And my personal favourite,” Alexa plowed on, "'lady of all things in Captania.' Is Captania a real place? Or did you just make that up to sound important? Because if it's real, I'd love to visit sometime.”

Charles looked like he wanted to sink into his seat and disappear, while Sasha's starry form seemed to spark with silent laughter.

"Are you quite finished?" Zee asked.

“Not really,” Alexa said. “I’d also like to know who sent you after me and why, Miss Queen of Capt-ain-ia. Was it my dearest mommy Infinity or my dearest Auntie Revolution? Cus you smell like a mix of both, with a touch of an old oil-covered coat that’s been left on a dusty windowsill and hasn’t been washed once in ten thousand years.”

"I was asked to guide you across the rest of liminality by the Council of System Wizards," Zee Captain said tersely after a deep, sombre pause in which Zee was seemingly wrestling with Alexa’s hostile words. "To ensure you don't cause any more... incidents."

"Incidents? Moi?" Alexa batted her eyelashes innocently. "Whatever could you mean?"

"The destruction of the Everywhere terminal, for one," Zee Captain replied. "That was a critical nexus point leading to Manchester. Rebuilding it will take considerable effort."

“Oh? Didn’t you fix that by now?” Alexa asked. “Aren’t you an all-powerful being capable of bending reality at will?”

“Fixing an infinite puncture in liminality is a delicate problem,” Zee Captain replied with a sigh. “It is very easy to destroy something and much harder to rebuild it, considering the number of delayed, irate and lost parties that require compensation and redirection. I’d like to know why you attacked the terminal?”

“I didn’t attack no terminal,” Alexa said. “That was totally an accident. I was just defending myself from a hungry Nobody. How was I supposed to know that the entire station would implode on itself like that?"

"Perhaps by exercising some caution and common sense," Zee Captain said dryly. “Had you simply not deviated from the set path then you wouldn’t have attracted a Nobody.”

“Caution? Common sense? Following specific directions? Never heard of ‘em,” Alexa grinned. “Are those some kind of wizardly spells?”

Zee Captain’s mask tilted in what might have been exasperation. “This is precisely why you need guidance. Your reckless actions have terrible consequences.”

“Ooh, consequences! I like those!” Alexa grinned. “Those are my favorite kinds of spider.”

"That is exactly the wrong attitude!" Zee Captain exclaimed.

"Is it though?" Sasha interjected, her starry form shimmering. "Destruction can be quite educational."

"Don't encourage her!" Zee Captain said sharply.

"Too late!" Alexa chirped. "I'm feeling very encouraged. Charles, are you feeling encouraged too?"

The boy looked between Alexa and Zee Captain nervously. "I... don't know?"

"That's the spirit!" Alexa clapped her hands. "Uncertainty is the first step to great discoveries. Right, teach?"

Zee Captain's shoulders slumped slightly. "This is going to be a very long train ride," the Wizard muttered.

"Oh absolutely," Alexa agreed cheerfully. "So why don't you tell us a story to pass the time? I bet you've got loads of exciting tales about your adventures as the supreme ruler of Captania! Or you know, answer my questions about your numerous, sus titles. Either way I get more data about how to socially hack you better.”

Zee Captain's posture stiffened further, the violet lenses of the mask fixing sternly on Alexa. "Young lady, your flippant attitude towards destruction and lawbreaking is deeply concerning. Crime begets crime. Destruction propagates destruction. As a future System Wizard, you have a responsibility to correct wrongs, uphold order and protect the fabric of reality, not tear it apart on a whim by poking more holes in it."

Zee Captain's voice took on a lecturing tone. "Power comes with great responsibility. Every action has consequences.”

“Consequences such as?” Alexa asked.

“Your three companions shouldn’t be here at all,” Zee said, purple lenses moving from Alexa’s gun to Charles to Sasha One. “You can’t just adopt every entity you come across and take it to Manchester!”

“But they’re so cute!” Alexa said, trying to smoosh Charles. The boy backed away from her grabby, spidery fingers into the back of the compartment. “What’s wrong with collecting best friends along the way?”

“They are questionable entities from questionable places with questionable motives,” Zee said, staring at Sasha.

"From where I am sitting," Alexa commented. "You're a questionable entity with questionable motives, Miss Captain. Or is it Mister? I can't seem to tell. You've got this air of indeterminability about you, teach. Are you a devious entity hiding from the law? What's under that old, smelly coat? Is it a pile of friendly kittens or a colony of flesh-eating spiders?"

“I’m curious,” Sasha One said, silver eyes moving across her figure to examine Zee Captain. “Who decides what's a crime anyway? Seems pretty subjective if you ask me."

"The laws of reality are not subjective!" Zee Captain countered firmly. "They are fundamental truths that maintain the stability of existence itself."

"Sounds boring," Alexa yawned. "I prefer to make my own rules."

"Rule-breaking actions cause greater entropy," Zee insisted.

"Rule-breaking also leads to exciting new discoveries and innovations," Alexa argued. "Sometimes you have to break a few eggs to make an omelet, you know? Maybe existence could use a good shake-up. Things seem awfully stagnant if you ask me."

The violet lenses of Zee Captain’s mask struck Alexa with a look of pure, unfiltered judgement.