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Somebody Stop Her!
30. The indeterminate answers

30. The indeterminate answers

"Aha! He's dead! I was right!" Ember proclaimed, waving a hand at the corpse on the ground.

"Aiiiiight, quit screwing around, I know you are not dead," Alexa growled at the ghost. "You're spooking and misleading my minions and not being a very polite house host."

The ghost flickered, its features changing.

Now that Martin managed to relax himself by receiving some calm visuals from Cottie's steady mind he saw that the face of the ghost seemed to be a fluid, indeterminate thing, patterns of constantly moving hexagons shifting around. One minute the doctor was a 90 year old grandfather, the next a 19 year old woman, then a 30 year old man, then suddenly a chair with wings. This was a very freaky ghost, or more specifically a very odd... holographic projection.

"Welcome to the Saint Mary installation, Subject 13. Welcome to Captania, Charles Snippy. Go away, there is nothing here but piles of divorced buses. Hello kitten," the holographic person spoke, voice shifting along with the facial features.

Ember, not seeing anything like a defense system or a trap slowly made her way towards the skeleton on the floor.

"Don't mind the floor intern. Burning up on the job is part of the job," Alexa commented on the state of the dead body.

Martin glanced at Alexa. He started to understand why she was so random. Being raised by this… thing would drive anyone a little crazy. Wait... if Alexa never came inside, then how could the hologram even raise her?

[Daddums and I communicated with flashing lights through the cathedral windows,] Alexa explained mentally.

[Was he always this... random?]

[Oh yes,] Alexa affirmed.

"Look at my adorable minions, daddy!" Alexa yelled. "Aren't they extra adorkable? How do you rate them?"

"Congratulations on making it this far. Impressive. You took too long. You failed. Happy birthday!" The indeterminate hologram said in an array of voices and accents.

[Is this a recording?] Cottie asked. [He doesn't seem to be acknowledging us. Why are the answers so... random?]

"Daddums isn't a recording. He just has social anxiety!" Alexa smiled.

She pretended to hug the shifting hologram.

[He definitely seems like a broken recording,] Martin replied. He had already felt bad about Alexa's situation and this was only making it worse.

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"You guys are being kinda mean." Alexa turned around and looked at her friends.

[Why is he so indeterminate…] Ember pondered. She recollected the prognosticator reports her copies read about the doctor. Most of them were titled - no determinate information on current and future activities.

"Holy shit! This whole setup is how he's been avoiding the Superstate future seers!" She finally concluded.

[Being random is part of the fun, it confuses the precogs,] Alexa agreed with a nod.

"I have many enemies," the holographic spoke. "If I am not here that means the giant snails have come for me. Everyone loves me, as I have no enemies. I am a pretty wildflower. Do not pick me."

"You clever, indeterminate bastard." Ember looked at the holographic. "Are you dead?"

"I am neither dead nor alive. I am the corpse on the floor. I am a drunk sailor on the Titanic. I am a pancake. I am Doctor Terranova. I am a beehive in a suit shaped like a man," the ever-changing holographic replied.

For a second it shifted into a cat in a suit, then the Eiffel tower that was wearing a beard.

"Daddums is a smooth schrodinger's cat," Alexa purred.

She found herself a very dusty, swiveling office chair and was now twirling on it. "Make yourselves at home, guys! House party camp in the cathedral!"

"Sneaky bugger," Ember muttered. "Who's that on the floor?"

"A super idiot who asked too many questions. Subject 12. Nobody important. A waste of space. She worked very hard. He failed to meet my expectations. Ninety four chicken wings in a bucket."

"Let me guess, subjects 1-11 also failed to meet these expectations?" The ex-hero inquired, picking out the most reasonable-sounding answer out of the pile of random replies.

"Mostly butter. Most subjects have. Everything is important. I am hungry for Campbell's chicken soup," the holographic thing replied.

"How do the subjects relate to you?" Ember pressed on.

"My cactus needs to be watered today. They don’t. They are my test subjects. Nothing of value."

"The brain jars all over?"

"Wholesome, best friends. A shield. Test subjects. Useless junk. Zip me up and mail me to the moon please."

[Shit. This is some dark stuff.] Martin came over to Alexa and sat next on the floor next to her. Cottie followed.

Ember pointed at herself. “What do you think about me?”

The hologram flickered, shifting. “You’re a useless waste of space. You’re a device of great power. You’re a space whale inside of a shoe on planet Mercury. I've been watching you.”

“That's my minion number 3! Dimmy! She’s my greatest arch-nemesis! I made her my minion to teach her a lesson in humility,” Alexa announced.

[Not a recording then,] Ember thought. [Artificial Intelligence, maybe? Or the actual doctor communicating from somewhere else? Damn clever, indeterminate fuck. Most supervillains had a very specific identity, a costume, minions, a theme and this made them all easy to track by the SCA probability calculators. There was only one reason why someone would hide from the prognosticators like this - they wanted to attack the Superstate!]

Ember glanced at Alexa. The ex-hero’s brain was crammed full of superstate exams, papers and reports about how villains operated. She tried to analyze the situation using what she knew. [Subject 13. A typical supervillain move was to dehumanize their creations and victims. Give them numbers. Call them subjects. Use them as human tests, turn them into living weapons and defense systems.]

Alexa looked back at her and stopped spinning.

“Hey! I’m important! Thirteen is a handsome, spooky, Halloween number! Building managers fear it! Elevators ignore it! Nobody wants to live on the 13th floor or buy apartment number 13. See? Daddums loves me the most!”