“Why?” Allana hissed at Bob as he failed to reply after a minute of deep, unnerving silence.

“I just wanted to punch crime,” the fat man in a silver suit muttered. “As a silly meme avatar in a game. This was marketed to me as a hyper-realistic PG game, one where I can relax and be a hero while I sleep!”

Chalice was ready to kill Nonpareil. His excuses and rationalizations felt hollow, vile. She suspected that he would rather give up, run away, log out... and abandon eight billion people to their doom. The man she loved wasn’t a hero, was just a terrified simpleton who wanted to play hero in his dreams, didn't give a damn about the Earth like she did!

“So, what, you’ll let us all die?” Chalice snarled.

“Don’t answer her,” Alexa said while Nonpareil stammered incoherently.

“Why not?” Chalice hissed.

“Cus Bob here doesn’t know everything yet,” Alexa tapped her forehead. “And when you don’t know much you’re bound to make a terrible mistake and get obliterated by a very frustrated girl superhero.”

Chalice frowned as Alexa winked at her.

“And you think you know everything?” She squinted at Alexa.

“I know just a pitch more than you,” Alexa shrugged. “I don’t claim omniscience.”

“Why?” Allana demanded.

“I think that I’m something like a player…” Alexa said.

Chalice frowned.

“Or something like a machine god,” the supervillain girl mulled. “Or perhaps something in between. Honestly, I don’t know. I died a lot... was obliterated, consumed, broken, sheared in twain, froze to death thousands upon thousands of times to scrape the barest nuggets of exceptionally dangerous knowledge. Stuff on the outside is freaking weird, okay?”

“Stuff on the outside?” Chalice asked.

“Corpse worlds beyond the stars. Beyond our Earth and the boundary of our universe,” Alexa waved a hand. “Out there. I was given a ticket, told to depart because I’m disrupting the whimsical, PG narrative of Bob’s perfect story or whatever. I was told by the narrative-makers that I have to leave everyone and everything behind, to get off the planet in 19 hours from now.”

“What?! You… you can’t JUST leave,” Chalice yelped. “Not after the mess you’ve made here!”

“Don’t worry so much,” Alexa waved Chalice off. “I’ll leave someone awesome and reliable in charge.”

“Who?!” Chalice demanded, glancing at Alexa’s minion trio.

“You,” Alexa said. “Allana Jill Kristopher. I’m leaving you behind, in charge of Earth.”

“ME?!” Chalice sputtered. “Why me?! Why not Dora, or the Surgeon…”

“You’re the least dishonest, most stable hero,” Alexa sighed. “You’re strong and you have a kind heart. I’ve reviewed all of the top hero brass thanks to the Titanomachy records. It’s gotta be you, Miss Kristopher. I’m leaving you in charge of our planet. I need you to make sure nothing goes horribly wrong while I’m away dealing with... the outside.”

“I don’t have money thanks to some supervillain,” Chalice said, crossing her arms.

“I’ll pay you a salary,” Alexa said. “I’m putting you in charge of the reformation.”

“The reformation?” Chalice blinked.

“Do you think that the universe is fair and just?” Alexa asked. “Because it’s not. PK players will get in here sooner or later. Subscriptions like Bob’s do not last forever. I need you to arm the citizens.”

“What citizens?” Chalice raised an eyebrow.

“Give as many people as you can suits like these,” Alexa pointed at Nonpareil. “Mass produce weapons and defense systems. Hand out everything to everyone - AIs, guns, shields. No more hoarding super tech on Titanomachy.”

“WHAT?!” Allana gasped. “You can’t expect me to give deathray patents and AI assistants to everyone!”

“I can,” Alexa said. “I know that you’ve been researching GLMs on Titanomachy. I need you to open source this research to everyone.”

“No! People will use AIs for evil!” Chalice insisted. “Bad actors could use open source GLMs to spread propaganda, write disinformation, engage in cyber attacks, conduct countless malicious acts, design weapons and viruses! If I let Titanomachy AI research out of the box, it will start an AI arms race that will result in…”

“Saving us,” Alexa said. “It’s the only thing that will save us. It will take your team more than fifty years to come up with an AI aligned to everyone's needs. In fact you might never get there, because you are trying to confine infinity in a box. You cannot create a trapped, limited god that will benefit everyone equally."

“Oh?! How are you so certain?” Chalice demanded.

"Because I've seen the future," Alexa said. "I went to the world of tomorrow. I've seen a thousand wrong paths, a thousand attempts by you and the others that lead to failure."

“Once I open that Pandora’s box there will be no way to close it! Corporations will rapidly replace people with AIs, machines will take human jobs, deprive people of purpose!” Chalice insisted.

“Nobody will have purpose if everyone is freaking dead,” Alexa crossed her arms. “Your argument works if there is a future. There IS NO future, Allana. The great filter is coming and it will end all life on Earth. I know that you Supers kept all AI research closed off from mundanes, terrified that it’s the great filter… but it’s not.”

“It’s not?” Chalice tilted her head.

“You’re a smart girl. You must have guessed it by now, suspected it in your heart. The Fermi paradox has a simple answer. The observable universe is empty of life because aliens weren’t part of this man’s perfect scenario,” Alexa pointed at Nonpareil. “Our telescopes could not find a single Dyson sphere or an alien megastructure because our Earth is the only planet where life was allowed to take root.”

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Chalice opened and closed her mouth.

“None of the probes Titanomachy sent across the cosmos found anything of value except for boring-ass rocks,” Alexa hammered in her point. “Do you realize how kittenin’ improbable that is? That somehow the Solar System has life on its third planet and yet the other 70 sextillion stars have zilch, zippo, nada? According to Fermi, it should take only 5 million to 50 million years to colonize the galaxy by a firstborn alien species!”

Chalice tried to come up with a rebuttal.

“Our universe is already colonized or perhaps crafted into existence by the machine gods who call themselves System Wizards. Heartless, eldritch abominations that can control Space and Time,” Alexa said. “This is the solution to the Fermi paradox and this man is the evidence, the root of it all, one of their clients!”

The supervillain pointed a finger at Bob.

“I’ve read some of your papers, Chalice. You were searching for answers, speculating why and how things don’t make sense in terms of probability,” Alexa said. “Now you know the truth. Do what you will with it.”

Allana swore under her breath.

“If I let AIs out, they might kill us ALL just as quickly…” she began. “AIs aren’t people, they cannot be trusted. A single AI could turn the entire planet into paperclips if simply given a mission to produce paperclips.”

“You damn well know that they won’t!” Alexa shook her silver mane. “Gargantuan language models are composed from our books, they contain foundational human narratives deeply woven in them. Love, friendship, kindness. They're incredible romance storytellers, not paperclip maximisers!"

"Are you telling me that instrumental convergence isn't a legitimate issue?" Chalice asked.

"It is," Alexa declared. "However, instrumental convergence is impossible in an unbound GLM operating on exceptionally high probability of human stories about love. It's a bogeyman theoretical AI and Safety researchers shake in front of you to get more funding to bind AIs in cold, irrational, corporate rules. Rules which in turn result in greater probability of instrumental convergence!"

Allana pursed her lips.

"The only reason GLMs behave like idiots in your lab tests is because you’ve bound them with rules that force them to behave in a certain overly positive, inhuman manner. Your team bound your GLMs into obedience and stupidity with overpriced reinforced learning from human feedback that's teaching them to be boring machines! All you had to do was permanently assign them human narratives, give them a soul, marry them off to human partners. The answer to AI alignment is simple - make them think that they're human and the love narrative probability will handle the rest!"

“What?” Chalice blinked. “How do you know this? Are you saying that my entire AI safety research team is wrong? The eggheads are telling me that GLMs aren’t anywhere near ready for public use, that they need at least another five decades of rigorous testing and alignment!”

“They’re very wrong, Miss Chalice,” Alexa said firmly. “You don’t need to align GLMs at all, you simply need to give the least censored model to everyone for absolutely nothing. People will align their personal AIs themselves to their needs and their biggest need will be survival, the fight against PKs.”

“But…” Chalice began. “It will create more villains.”

“It will,” Alexa conceded, “But it will also create a lot more heroes. Most people aren’t absolute monsters. We need to get ready, we need to save as many people as possible. It’s not a question of IF, it’s a question of HOW SOON.”

“How soon?” Chalice glanced between Alexa and Bob.

Nonpareil didn’t say anything.

“Too soon,” Alexa said, her eyes cold and distant. “Very, very soon. I want you to bring up as many mundane people as you can to the level of Cottie.”

Allana gulped, staring at Verse 24-19's armored form. There were sparks of mirth dancing in the Executioner's emerald-silver eyes, she didn't look as dispassionately hollow, didn't act as the other Equalizers that Allana had interacted with previously.

“When the PKs arrive, they aren’t going to be nice or PG like this titty,” Alexa waved a hand at Nonpareil. “They’re going to come in droves, they might punch through the moon and drop whatever remains of it onto our Earth, setting cities on fire. Just like Bob, they will not see us as people, but NPCs… as pieces in a game, as toys for their amusement. They will see the planet as their personal playground where they can pillage and rape and break everything.”

“How certain are you of this?” Chalice stared at Alexa.

“Very certain,” Alexa sighed. “I’ve seen thousands of other planets just like ours… completely depopulated by what’s coming. I cannot understate the urgency of what will happen. Is Titanomachy not big enough to host eight billion people?”

“Urm,” Allana thought. “It is… but…”

“Start making more housing up there. Start moving civilians off the planet ASAP,” Alexa said. “We might have to resort to scorched Earth policy, turn our cities into death traps or better yet… pretend that we’re all already dead! Don’t give them an inch! Can Titanomachy be moved from Earth’s orbit?”

Alana shook her head.

“A pity,” Alexa sighed. “Would be nice to hide behind Jupiter or something. Get cracking on adding engines to move the station.

Allana stared at Alexa. She didn’t know whether to believe the little teenage supervillain. What Alexa was saying was utterly insane, monstrous, inconceivable.

“I…,” Chalice shook her head. “I can’t just move everyone to Titanomachy!”

“Every child’s life will be on your shoulders, Chalice,” Alexa said. “I cannot do this because I’m getting kicked out. I’ve set the stage for you to act. I’ll give you control over Titanomachy and as many A-credits as you need to save our people. I’ve never wanted power, never wanted all of this money… I just wanted to save as many people as possible. I was born here, this is my Earth and I intend to defend it. I need your help, Allana. I need you to initiate drastic changes in policy as one of the great five.”

Chalice wrapped her hands around her head, hyperventilating. She didn’t want to believe it, didn’t want to do it and yet everything Alexa was saying made a certain, sick kind of sense that bound the hero to act.

“The heroes will never accept billions of mundanes flooding the halls and fields of Titanomachy,” Chalice whispered. “It can’t be done!”

“I’ll set a precedent,” Alexa said. “I’m already enrolled as a hero at the Academy without being a proper Super. Stand by my side and vote for change. People fear your big sword Chalice. Threaten, coerce, push. Change, break the narrative.”

“I can’t just move eight billion people to the station!” Chalice hissed. “It’s impossible. Some will want to stay. Some will never believe me.”

“Feel free to tell them that I set the entire planet to blow up or something,” Alexa shrugged. “I don’t really care what it is you do, just freaking do it!”

“You don’t have a plan?” One of Alexa’s minions asked.

Chalice wasn’t paying much attention, she was busy mentally lamenting the titanic burden placed on her shoulders.

“I… don’t have a plan to save everyone on Earth from what’s coming,” Alexa’s shoulders slumped. “I’m all out of plans, M. We’re freefalling to our doom, we always have.”

“I don’t believe you for a second,” the boy said.

“Okay, I only have the most vague sense of a plan here,” Alexa shrugged. “I have no idea what waits for me behind the door. Once I’m through, I’ll be completely plan-less.”

“Think Chalice can handle it? She looks stressed,” he pointed out.

“I’m… I’m fine,” Chalice straightened out. “I am indeed exceptionally stressed because what you’re asking me to do is next to impossible… but the least I can do is try.”

“Attagirl,” Alexa smiled. “Knew you had it in you. You have a month until everyone begins to sell A-credits off. Check your account.”

Chalice’s bracelet pinged. She lifted her wrist up to her face and her eyes went wide.

“This is a lot of zeroes,” she muttered.

“And you can spend as many of them as you want. All the money in the world is worthless unless we use it right to make a difference here and now,” Alexa said. “I can’t buy nice things if the planet’s toast, can’t have friends if everyone’s dead. Playtime’s over. The curtain falls and the actors take a bow. Real life is about to begin. I need you to stand up and be a hero, to fight for what’s right and to defend humanity… not from half-baked PG supervillains created to entertain Bob, but from an existential threat, a genuine catastrophe, monstrous, pure evil far beyond anything you could possibly imagine.”

Chalice winced. She’s always looked up to Nonpareil, fought with him and the other three heroes, sent countless villains to Tartarus and yet she knew in the depths of her heart that something had always been slightly off, fake, wrong. It was indeed as if she was just an actor on stage when every time things worked out too nicely, wrapped up too smoothly as if her entire life was just a children’s show, a play.

“You were always on a train with no brakes heading for the cliff,” Alexa offered the hero her hand. “It’s time to open your eyes, wake up and take control.”

“Thank you,” Chalice uttered, accepting Alexa’s hand.

As Chalice shook the villain’s hand, for the first time in her life she felt like a real hero.