Martin, Ember and Cottie sat in the park in front of Saint Mary’s cathedral, listening to Alexa’s mental narration about lake Eerie, heroes, villains and her dastardly plot to collapse and restructure the global economy using Ember’s ghosts.

[What the fuck is wrong with you?] Martin looked at Ember. [Seriously? Seventy thousand ghosts? Seventy thousand fucking Embers working below minimum wage without rest just to make you Admiral? I thought you became Admiral because you were capable, not because you found a way to cheat the system!]

[It’s not my fault that Kolchi is an idiot!] Ember snapped back. [It’s not my fault that supers are idiots! I only did what I thought was right! What had to be done! I would have made more ghosts too, had Alexa not stopped me!]

[I think we’ve established that you’re the biggest idiot out here,] Cottie thought at Ember. [Alexa had weaponized all of your ghosts. She turned them all into a tool that ended the power of Supers. Not their skills, strength or their speed, but their wallets. She hit the heroes where it really hurts them.]

[Jesus Christ Ember! That’s how you got to take control of the entire orbital ring! That’s how you atomized England with impunity! Did you plan to disband the precogs, after you forced Kolchi into early retirement? It all makes sense now! You’ve been inserting yourself into the foundation of every SCA institution - its maintenance drones! Mom and dad would never have suspected their own daughter of such insidious planning. They’ve been looking across the world for villains when one was living right next to them all this time!] Martin growled. [Here I thought Alexa was a villain, but you… you’re far more of a supervillain than she will ever be!]

[I was only doing jobs that nobody else wanted! I was helping everyone! Lot of young heroes license their ghosts to Titanomachy. Operating a bunch of cleaning drones is not a crime!] Ember howled. [I wasn’t going to fuck up the SCA banking system! That’s all on Alexa! You can’t be blaming me for what she did!]

[Honestly, I don’t know what you were going to do, but the more I learn about your deeds, the less I like you,] Martin sighed. [How could I have been so blind, so gullible? My own sister - the biggest villain of them all!]

[I did it for my family. I did it for you, Martin!] Ember choked. [It wasn’t all selfish. I would…]

[Wait a minute.] Martin turned to her, reading the rush of her surface thoughts. [I see. You… you were going to make me important. Once you were Admiral, you could insert me into any position. It wouldn't have mattered one bit if I didn’t even become a hero! You would help me move up the political ladder, pay for my election, manipulate votes. Hah! President of NUSA or SUSA. Director of the SCA. UN speaker. Leader of Earth Nations?! Emperor of humanity?!! Jesus Christ, Ember!]

[We could have ruled the world side by side! As brother and sister. You and I could have united humanity and heroes, passing laws together. Supers and humans could finally work together to design AIs. Mass produced, self learning machines could fix every problem out there! We would turn deserts green, we would end poverty, eradicate crime once and for all, attain immortality, build incredible cities, colonize the Universe with you as Emperor and me as your fleet Admiral!] Ember turned to Martin. [But it’s all gone now! That future lays in ruins because of Alexa!]

Stolen content warning: this tale belongs on Royal Road. Report any occurrences elsewhere.

[Holy shit.] Martin paled. [I… I can’t believe this.]

[You would have made Equalizers illegal. You would have made crime obsolete by reeducating both humans and villains side by side in Tartarus,] Cottie mulled, catching Ember’s thoughts too. The Equalizer’s lips drew inward into a thin frown. [You would have eradicated human laziness and stupidity, once and for all, by making debtors into happy, obedient androids. I see.]

[Just fucking shoot me, why don’t you?] Ember put her head between her legs. [I’m fucking done. I can’t take this anymore. She’s ruined everything, turned all of my hard work against me and the heroes.]

A flying taxi whooshed down onto the park, with a crackle of electromagnetic engines.

“Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaai guys!” Alexa yelled, waving at her minion trio from the open door.

As she jumped out of the taxi onto the grass Martin stood up and rushed to give her a hug.

“Hey, hey. I’m still good. Only got shot in the head a little.” She hugged him back, looking at the tears in his eyes.

Martin blinked at her. He understood now what Alexa has done. She had saved them all from a horrible future. Cottie knew about Ember, but the Equalizers didn’t know about him. Did he fail at being Emperor then? Did he somehow screw everything up in the future?

Alexa lifted the right side of her hair. [See? Not even a hole. Honestly, I only lost a bunch of sim memories, which were mostly pointless violence against Tickles. Nothing valuable.]

“Still good,” she winked at Martin, bowing her head as if she was tipping an imaginary hat. “M’Emperor of humanity!”

Martin blinked, letting go of Alexa. His face turned red.

“Eyyyyyyyy! Why so glum, Admiral crumbum?” She yelled at Ember.

Ember glared back at her. Alexa leaned into the taxi, grabbed a broom out of it and handed it to her.

“What?” Ember blinked.

“Stopped at a Superstore to grab you a broom! You’re such a great Titanomachy janitor, I figured you could help me clean up my cathedral!” Alexa pointed at the stone building behind them. “It’s reaaaaaaaly dusty inside, you know.”

Ember glared.

[What? You can clean thirty thousand toilets on Titanomachy as service droids but you can't sweep one cathedral? My apologies, Madam Admiral!] Alexa declared dramatically.

Cottie came over to Alexa and hugged her. [I missed you.]

[I missed you too, Katherine.] Alexa smiled.

Martin froze. [Wait, what?]

[Oh I’m sorry, did you never find the time in your busy schedule to ask for her real name? Too busy chasing gym teachers and gawking at giant explosions, I bet?]

Martin lowered his head in shame.

Cottie looked at Alexa, her lip trembling.

[Yeah, I know. I am the hand that guides the Equalizers, remember? I’m that which equalizes the world. The power which reshapes, shatters all boundaries. I’m the girl you’re supposed to kill in the end.]

Cottie nodded. She trembled, hugging Alexa harder. Martin blinked. Alexa had known everything. She had planned every single thing in advance years ago. She called him Mittens because she knew that his name was Martin Kilborne. She called Katherine... Cottie because she knew. All this time she knew everything, thanks to her leaps four hundred years into the future.

[Wait, hang on.] Martin looked at Alexa. [Cottie… uh Katherine is supposed to kill you?!]

[If I chose a side.] Alexa winked. [If I go insane, obviously. If I become a villain or a hero, then I need to be stopped. Katherine is my defense against myself. I don’t just follow one plan, Martin. I don’t exist on a single track. Multi-track drifting, bitches!]

[Wait… so then.] Martin tried to think. [You aren’t omniscient or something? You don’t like… plan coincidences out miles in advance?]

[Relying on coincidences is for tits. If Mr. Canard didn’t accept his brainspider, he wouldn't have given you my letter and that would be that. Or things could have gone horribly wrong and then half of the letter wouldn't have made any sense.]

[So you aren’t stuck in a time loop or something?] Martin demanded.