In my limited experience, unhappiness is the mechanism by which we learn the insufficiencies of our lives–the insufficiencies of ourselves and our circumstances. Like a siren our misery alerts us that our lives have issues, and in doing so this misery opens the door to change and then keeps it open when we want it closed, such that we cannot enforce more inadequacy on ourselves than we can bear.

Therefore "when the gods in bliss bring miseries on," the most noble course of action is indeed to "willy-nilly, blindly...endure."

We search and seek to alleviate the pain of our misery and so the alleviation of unhappiness becomes the destination on the map of our life (in the short term, at least–the next destination) and so we search for a route. The suffering mostly grows as we search, but sometimes, notoftentimes, the pain lifts to a joy clearer than any in recent memory...then comes back all the worse. One wonders if this is like tasting food in deep hunger, or a new standard of joy in itself...are those two the same? As Dostoyevsky puts it "The darker the night, the brighter the stars, The deeper the grief, the closer is God!"

Certainly, in trying to escape pain one will make it worse. After all, wallowing in pain will hurt less at first–that's why it's done–and by the time wallowing hurts too much to stay, you've become too disgusted and detached or whatnot, a great damage has been done–that is the expense of wallowing, and to us weak-hearted it ensures a touch of pain. But at least in the pain of trying to leave one can have a shred of self-respect, dignity. To feel human and not submit to the whim of indulgence is a revitalization well worth the struggle and companionate pain. We're not made in a way so as to contradict the spark of life.

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Or perhaps the ideas are incorrect, and my explanations are just frantic mental rationalizations trying to escape the sparse drops of unhappiness that fell in long ago. These are my ways of plotting a course to a better life, and they are all wrong. Yes, in this rationalizing state of mind I think things like 'find a life worthy of yourself, and therein you may find true rest. Do not settle, ignore your deep desires for a distraction which will last many years and may last a lifetime." But how much truth can be accorded to thoughts, and pedantic phrases at that. Are they not shots in the darkness? All response to suffering is somewhat blind–truly a process of self-discovery. That's another rationalization, perhaps. I don't know. How different is "fight the pain" from "embrace the pain" from "pass through the pain?" Despite the uncertainty of it, I think they are quite different.

[https://i.imgur.com/CTcbbee.jpg]

Point: The gears are so rusty, one cannot be quite sure if they turn at all.

Counterpoint: Drawing from photographs and drawing figures, two pleasant experiences.