It was dinnertime. Today was a tiring day, and I limply plopped down on my seat on the table along with a long sigh. Adding more slashes was harder and more tiring than I thought. Oh wait no, I think I have expected it. But it doesn't change the fact that I want to sleep right now.

But a girl has to eat.

Although, there was this little feeling that I didn’t want to be here. Like trying to avoid something. And that frustrated me. I don’t typically desire to run away from something, something I was scared of.

At the moment, it was only me, my mother, and Estevan. Despite the dishes covered and placed on the table already, we haven’t started yet. Waiting for the remaining two family members. It would seem they were busier today.

“Estelia, dear. Are you alright?” My mother asked in concern.

I gave her a relieving smile. “I’m just tired from the training. Today was a little more challenging.”

“I see.” She caressed my cheek. “Make sure to sleep early today, okay?”

“Of course, mother. I don’t want to overexert myself.” Lest I want to go weaker. “How about you, Mother?”

“Well, trivial affairs in the capital are not too difficult. In fact, by some miracle, Estevan helped me with paperwork.”

Huh, looks like they gave some normal issues within the capital to my mother. To lessen father’s workload. But what surprised me was Estevan helping with papers? Whaaaat? I imagined he would not even try getting close to something like that.

Processing the unexpected, I stared at my dear brother with weirded eyes. He stared back at me with an idiotic face.

“What? I can be a good son sometimes.”

“I imagine you complaining all the while.”

Mother chuckled. “That he did.”

“Mother…” Estevan frowned in embarrassment.

I couldn’t help but smile in amusement. Hey, at least he’s trying. That is something to be proud of! Good job, brother!

At that moment, the two that we’re waiting for have arrived. I glanced at my eldest brother, but he didn’t look at me. An air of awkwardness filled the vibe — or perhaps it was just me. Yeah, likely just me.

Eleden sat down beside Estevan, on the opposite side of the table. While father sat at the head.

Eleden was still brooding over what happened, who knows how long it would last. It annoyed me this was even happening. I resisted the urge to sigh in frustration.

Mother smiled, missing the awkward air between us. “Now then, let’s eat already. I’m sure everyone’s hungry.”

Without a moment’s waste, everyone started eating. As we did, mother spoke with father ever so casually, discussing what happened today, mainly about Estevan. However, I was silent while I ate, savoring my food.

Meanwhile, Eleden was doing the same as me. So obvious he was avoiding me, but I kept staring. To be honest, I don’t know how to mend things with him, nor even how to start talking. So stressing…

This saddened me.

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A couple of minutes passed, and the voices began to quiet down. When I was about finished with my meal — because I was eating it faster than I usually would — Mother slowly put down her fork and spoon before audibly sighing. I have a bad feeling.

“Alright, what is going on at this table?”

Father placed a hand on his forehead, while Estevan looked on with confusion. I paused my eating and drank some juice. But of course, I didn’t answer her. I mean, what would I even say?

“Is no one going to answer me?” She looked at Father. “Did something happen to these two without telling me?” She pointed at me and Eleden.

Dammit! Of course she’ll know that.

“You two?” Estevan asked in response to his realization.

Father hesitated for a moment on how to answer Mother. “... Well, it’s a bit complicated. It’s quite a sensitive matter.”

Mother glared at him. “If it’s causing this problem within the family, I could at least learn the root of it.”

“My love, please.”

“Ugh,” Mother turned towards Eleden. “Mind telling me what happened?”

Eleden merely gave her a hesitant look, but remained silent. Annoyed, my mother shifted her fierce eyes towards me. Why?! Don’t look at me like that!

“Estelia, what happened?”

“Uh,” I clenched the cloth on my lap. “I-It’s… Just an argument we had…” my voice trailed off, but they heard it.

“What kind of argument?”

“C-Can’t say.” I lowered my head, as if trying to shrink myself.

“Estelia, I don’t like what is happening here.”

“I’m sorry,” that was all I said. Sounding like a small whimpering adorable puppy.

“You two,” he said to me and Eleden before pointing at Father. “You as well. Settle this.”

“That… is easier said than done.”

“Nothing is too difficult to settle. We’re a family! We can’t stay like this for too long.”

W-What am I gonna do here? Shit, I never saw Mother this angry. I’m also embarrassed talking to Eleden. What if what I say makes him truly hate me? I’m quite an asshole sometimes. Never really a genuine, soft and nice person.

If I get angry, I might end up saying to Eleden ‘who’s more important to you? That woman Lillie, or us, your family?’

I wanna leave… Okay this was just me running away from my problems. But what’s wrong with running away for a day or two?

Ugh! Fuck it! “E-Eleden… Can we at least talk…?”

He drank water from his cup before speaking. “I need time with my thoughts. Please excuse me, Mother, Father, I’m going back to my room.”

Without waiting for actual permission, he rose from his seat and left the room. Looking all sad.

“I never saw him like that,” said Estevan, still confused.

Mother sighed in frustration before looking at her husband. “We need a talk after this dinner.”

“Y-Yes.”

Switching to a gentler look, Mother reached out for my hand. “Are you alright?”

“Yes.”

“I didn’t expect you of all people would have a fight with your brother.”

I lowered my gaze.

She continued. “Is it something so serious?”

“... Yes, it is. He is not taking things too well.”

Mother sighed with a saddened look. “Let’s give him some space.”

***

I have returned to my room. The silent and dim room. Once the isolation settled in, I sighed, thinking about the problem with my brother. I walked over to my small cabinet. Placed on top of it was a small wooden box with fine quality and carving.

Opening it, inside revealed a necklace with a crimson colored jewel in the shape of a flower. I picked it up and held it in my open palm, staring at it. The gift Eleden gave me from his visit to Myra. It was a beautiful gift.

I had to remove it when doing excessive physical activity. I didn’t want to remove it on my person, but I just have to. Could also risk damaging it. Especially during fights. Hm, in fact, I had barely worn this lately.

Oh, brother…

This sucks. Conflict sucks. Especially with family. I didn’t expect it would bother me this much. How am I going to settle a problem if he didn’t want to take the opportunity to fix it? Fuck…

Thinking about the problem at hand, I was reminded of the time how Estevan tried to reconcile with me. He brought me flowers, and prepared food. He was so sweet. The memory made me smile.

However, in the case with Eleden, I wasn’t at fault. The issue was not one-sided. Just two people disagreeing with something. Why should I do something for him when it was not my fault?

What needed here was for Eleden to get over it and have some sense in his head. What kind of king would he be if he’s acting like that when he can’t do something he wants? He should prioritize his own side before others.

That is something he must learn if he were to be an effective ruler in the future. No one foolish, no one naïve. No one would mindlessly do something at the expense of the place he was supposed to protect.

Haaaah, I hate this.

I returned the necklace to its box.

I need some thinking about this family issue. And thus I promptly lied down on the bed, looking up at the ceiling to think.

It was harder than thinking about how to kill or torture someone.