"Ramirex …"

In the unburnt half of the warehouse, Philomena relentlessly paced back and forth. Her fingers dug into her hips. Her head was tilted down and eyes swept the floor, hunting for the melted remains of her reputation as a businesswoman. She couldn't bear to look up. The embarrassing sight of the ruined room was too shameful.

"… this is all your fault," she said.

The tiny woman sat against the wall near her, cradling the stack of manga in her arms. As she stroked the spines, she rested her cheek on the top of the pile and nuzzled it.

"It's okay," Ramirex whispered to the books. "Nothing's gonna hurt you anymore."

"You hear me, Ramirex?!"

"Sure, Philomena," she said dreamily. "Absolutely. Whatever you say."

Burned scraps of paper littered the floor. Some of the writing was still readable. Mostly names, addresses, things that were shipped. But almost all the paperwork had gone up in flames. Just like her dreams were going up in flames, thanks to her dumb employees.

"I could've handled it just fine," Philomena said. "But you … You're the one who wasted all that water and brought them down here. You're the one who started a fire when I asked you to tidy the place up. You're the one who couldn't fix your own mess."

"That's right, Philomena," the other woman said.

"Ugh, I should toss you out the airlock, right now! Fire you, once and for all! Just like you 'fired' my warehouse!"

"You got it, Philomena," Ramirex mumbled. "Please punish me."

Philomena stopped pacing, squeezed her eyes shut, and rubbed her forehead. The people from the station were finally gone, but she still had the massive headache — and the massive bill — they gave her. Both throbbed inside her mind, ate away at her thoughts, filled her skull up with pain and dread.

How am I going to pay this?! she thought. What did I do to get stuck with these idiot employees? Why does the galaxy hate me so much?!

Suddenly the door started to open. She frowned at it, thinking, All the people from the station are gone, so who …? Then she noticed an unread message glowing on the intrapanel's screen.

Blaze Corvo and his stupid black leather jacket strolled into the warehouse.

"There you are. We—"

He dug his boots into the floor and pivoted in place, sweeping his eyes across the charred side of the warehouse. He stroked his chin, and then he waggled his finger at the scorchmarks.

"Something's different in here …"

As he continued to study it, he stood with his feet apart and put his fists on his hips.

"Did you guys redecorate or something?"

Philomena's blood shot through her body at the speed of light. Unable to control her shaking, she felt her rage reach the boiling point and send a superhot flush all through her chest and head. A thick red cloud seeped through her brain. Rumbling inside it was one single word, rolling like thunder and cracking like lightning:

STUPID STUPID STUPID!

She lunged at Ramirex and ripped the topmost manga volume off the stack.

"No!" the tiny woman shrieked, clumsily trying to grasp it while keeping a firm hold on the rest. "Please, don't! It's been through so much already—!"

As Corvo turned towards the shriek, Philomena flung the volume right at his stupid face with everything she had. It twirled through the air and nailed him right between the eyes as soon as they came to rest on her. The sudden impact made him snap back in surprise, and his stupid clumsiness made him stumble backwards and fall flat on his back with a deeply-satisfying thud that echoed through the warehouse.

Although she still huffed and saw red, she felt slightly better.

But only slightly.

Ramirex sobbed softly, while Corvo groaned on the ground.

Am I the only one in this business who knows what she's doing?!

Then, Rsh stepped into the doorway. He looked at the three of them, and then the warehouse, his expression as unreadable as ever.

"Did he tell you?" the Zantauran asked.

"Tell me what?"

Corvo sat up, the manga volume sliding off his chest and clapping onto the dirty floor. Ramirex, watching it happen, sobbed again. Rather than get up and fetch it, she hugged the stack in her arms more tightly.

His eyes shooting daggers at her, Corvo said, "About the rogue planet we found."

A cool, refreshing breeze blew through her head and whisked the red clouds away.

"The what …?" she asked, her eyes widening.

"The rogue … planet," Rsh repeated.

Philomena hurriedly shuffled across the warehouse to him, daring not to move too quick in case she banged something and woke up from this wonderful dream. When she sidled up to him, she grabbed the front of his red robe and stared up into the permanent snarl on his face.

This book's true home is on another platform. Check it out there for the real experience.

"You found one?" she whispered, too stunned to focus on her poise as a businesswoman.

"Perhaps."

Dazed, she turned away from him and made a big loop around her three employees. As she smiled everywhere and yet nowhere, her heart somersaulted in her chest. It lifted her up into the sky where she could soar like a bird — despite the fact that space had no sky.

"Corvo," she snapped, "what are you doing on the floor?! Get up, we've got a planet to mine!"

She grabbed his shoulder and shook his arm, trying to make him hurry up and get to his feet, but it just made him sneer up at her.

"We cannot say it exists for certain," Rsh said. "We must search."

"Then …"

She turned away from Corvo and faced Rsh, whirling her arms in big circles. Scooping everyone towards the door.

"… let's get searching! We gotta start mining so we can pay off our bill!"

"What bill?" he barked.

"Doesn't matter. Come on, let's get going!"

"What bill?!" he roared, loud enough to fill the warehouse.

She gestured to the half-burnt room. "We had a little accident, and … now we need to pay for it. So … let's head out!"

His lips curled up in a cold sneer, and a throaty growl came through his clenched teeth. Then, after he had seethed for a bit, he shook his head.

"This is your business," he grumbled.

She folded her arms. "That's right," she said sharply, "it is."

"I meant … only you are liable for your debts."

"Well … whatever. As long as we alllll—" She scowled at Corvo, who had stood up and was dusting his jacket off. "—pull our own weight, we should be fine."

Rsh's lips stretched up and down like he wanted to spit out a reply, but he kept it to himself, which made Philomena very glad indeed.

"All of us pull our own weight already," Corvo said, adjusting his stupid leather jacket. "Except you."

She gasped at him. "I pull my own weight!"

"Doing what?"

"Making business decisions. And supervising you three."

Corvo rolled his eyes and half-turned away from her. "Yeah, sure, okay." Then he turned fully back to her, pointing at his own chest with his thumb. "But since I'm your mercenary bodyguard, in the end I carry your weight too. Carrying your ass out of danger, that is."

"That's what I pay you for, Corvo."

Not that you're any good at it, she thought.

Corvo continued complaining, "But. You also make me do all the mining too. So really, I carry twice as much weight as the rest of you."

"I mine as well," Rsh said.

"You don't have a space suit. Unless there's breathable air outside, you just sit on the ship doing your own, ahem, 'work' while I bust my ass being a bodyguard and a space miner."

Rsh spoke up, but this time he didn't have a snappy answer.

"I … survey."

Philomena stepped forward and narrowed her eyes at Rsh. "I don't say this a lot, but Corvo's right. Rsh, I'm not having you sit on the ship, doing your own stuff, while we're working our butts off."

"What would you have me do? I have no space suit."

She glanced around the room, looking for ideas. And then, she saw the one and only cardboard box full of paperwork that hadn't gone up in flames, sitting on a faraway shelf. With an "Aha!" she went over, gripped the handholds in its side, and yanked it off the shelf.

"You're going to— Oof!"

The sudden weight pulled her upper body down so hard she got whiplash. The cardboard box slammed into the floor, and no matter how much she strained her arms, they just wobbled around like wet noodles. Letting go of the handholds, she dusted off and then patted the lid.

"You're going to look through these," she said, pointing to the box.

"Why?"

"You're the one who said they might've been doing shady stuff here, right? There might be something handy in here. So go through them and put them into a batterdaze—"

"A … 'database'?"

"—and see if there's anything juicy … I mean, helpful. That way, you aren't wasting company time when you could be helping us."

Corvo couldn't help but smile at that. He ambled up to Rsh and clapped a hand down on the Zantauran's shoulder.

"See? Even she has good ideas once in a while. While the rest of us are plain-old mining … looks like you're going to be data-mining."

Stepping forward and rudely breaking out of Corvo's grasp, Rsh strode to the cardboard box and easily hefted it off the floor.

"As you wish," he said. "It is a good idea … I suppose," he added, sounding ticked off nonetheless.

He marched to the door. Corvo waited for him, and opened the door when he got close. Philomena followed the two of them out, and all three of them walked down the hallway to get ready …

Philomena lagged behind them until she stopped. Staring at the distant wall, she tried to work out what was nagging at the back of her mind.

"Wait a minute," Philomena said.

The other two stopped a few paces further down the hall and turned back to peer at her.

"Are we … forgetting something?" she asked.

Her employees shared a glance between themselves, eyes sparkling with curiosity as they wondered what it could be. But then, Corvo nodded deeply. A familiar, yet disappointed smile crossed his face, like he was kicking himself for not guessing the answer sooner.

He walked past them and went back into the warehouse.

Ten seconds later, he came back out with his hand around Ramirex's upper arm, guiding her into the hallway while she clutched the stack of manga volumes like they were the very last cartons of food in the whole universe.

Oh, right, Philomena thought.

"I'm taking them with me," she muttered. "Th-They're not safe here without me. I'm taking all of them with me."

As Philomena laid eyes on the pathetic sight, she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

As soon as she hits a little rough patch, she falls apart.

Why am I the only one around here who has it completely, totally, 100% together, huh?

Then, she turned around and headed through the office to gather her things.

This was a very long, annoying, painful day, but things are finally looking up! I am going to lead this company out into the stars, we are going to find that rogue planet, and I'm going to look stunning being the best chief executive who ever lived!

And then, I'm going to start gathering up the hottest harem of hunky boytoys in the galaxy!

She couldn't resist skipping down the hall a little, while she daydreamed about the future.

Look out, Milky Way! Ready or not … here I come!

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Philomena Business Skills Arc

"The Inspection"

FIN

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