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'Kuro cross-u … hoshi e mukatte ikimasu!'
As the lyrics to Galaxy Cross Unlimited's first theme song went through Luci's mind, her throat moved slightly. Sounding out the words, even though she wasn't singing aloud. Your throat always did that when you were reading or thinking to yourself.
What was that big panic a few years ago? she thought.
She grabbed onto the idea and let it lift her up and away from this torturously-slow shuffle into absolute darkness. The ship's landing lights made the cliff to her right slightly brighter than pitch black, but not by much. It was so easy to get lost in the shadows.
Oh, yeah. Some data harvesting scam company said they invented a way to read peoples' thoughts by watching how their throats moved. For 'marketing', of course. It's scary … your body betrays you like that, and then the people who run these scummy companies exploit it to crack your mind open like an egg.
Her upper body was slumping forward, so her headlamps shone on the ground in front of her feet. Part of it was so she could watch her step. Another part of it was fatigue and fear sapping her will to go on. And yet another part was so that she didn't have to stare into the pervasive darkness blanketing the crater. The beams of light were small, but at least they were bright. At least they gave her vision something to absorb. At least their gave her something to occupy her brain with, instead of the vast nothingness.
Good thing it turned out to be overhyped garbage that didn't work, and that company collapsed.
But … maybe one day …
You can't ever close Pandora's Box. If tech companies want to push ahead with their spy technology, it will happen. We can't stop them. We can only sit back and let them harvest every piece of data about us … or cut ourselves off from society entirely. Go out to the middle of nowhere and give up on interacting with anybody, ever.
She reached the cave entrance. The cliff wall to her right gave way to the ominous darkness. It pressed closely around her. She found it very hard to decide which option was less appealing.
But then we're forced to make our own food, our own clothing, hope we don't get found out and murdered by stray mercenaries … unless we head to some rogue planet nobody will ever find, ever. But there's no way to grow any food or anything, so we'll need to ship the stuff we find where they have a use for it, and collect our money, and then we're right back to square one. Part of a society that wants to harvest our every thought.
I've been listening to my brother too much, she thought wryly. He's the smart guy. I just … fix engines and try to get by without making any waves.
Plodding into the unknown, Luci shoved the disturbing thoughts out of her head and searched inside herself for something else to distract her mind.
What are 'thoughts', anyway? Why do we need to move our throats just to make words pop into our minds? It's like we evolved to speak out loud first, and then we evolved some more to speak inside of our heads. But evolution didn't do a very good job optimizing it, so we still need to speak out loud even when we're just thinking. It's weird — you see a pretty woman and think 'She's perfect.' But all of us are just blobs of DNA, full of poor engineering, that somehow got jury-rigged into a functioning state.
What is life? Where does consciousness come from? Who decides which body 'I' get to inhabit when I'm being conceived? Why do we get tied down to one specific time period, and not a million years in the future when maybe evolution has ironed out the flaws?
A bleak chill worked its way through her body, as she continued her slow march into the darkness. Not even the small pool of light she brought with her could keep it at bay for long. It lit up the ground in front of her, but it didn't do a thing about the black space behind her, where she couldn't see.
She was just a dot in the vast void.
She'd retreated into her thoughts to escape it, but the void had snuck up behind her, taken her unaware, and wormed into her mind.
I wanna watch Galaxy Cross Unlimited again, she thought. Anime will fill the nothingness.
Her trudging feet dragged on the ground. She stared intently at the center of the beam, shutting out the darkness around it.
I wonder what my brother's up to now? We used to work together, for the family business. But now that it's went out of business, I haven't seen him in forever. I don't think I've ever gone this long without talking to him.
Her heartbeat started to quicken, and so did the loud breathing that filled her cramped helmet.
What if I die here? What if something eats us? H-He'll never know, nobody will ever know what happened to us. We'll have just sailed off into the black of space and vanished one day. Lost in the dark. These rogue planets are impossible to stumble on, so nobody will ever know where our bodies are rotting, and—!
Knock it off, Luci!
She continued plodding into unknown territory. There was nothing outside her tiny pool of light, nothing to occupy her mind. Thoughts streamed through her head unfiltered, and she had no distractions to shift her attention toward.
… I wanna watch Galaxy Cross Unlimited again, she thought.
Craning her head, she stared upward. The distant starfield filling the universe had shrunk to a disk twenty miles overhead. Like this place was some dark dimension, and she could only see her home through a wormhole. Come back, she thought feebly. I want to be in the light again—!
A shadow darted past her.
Digging her heels into the ground, Luci twirled in place. Her lamps swept in a circle, probing the black for any sinister shapes, but her space suit was so bulky, there was no way she could ever get out of danger in time … Her head, trapped in this tiny box, buzzed badly. She could barely see, her eyes vibrated so much. Skin crawling, she trembled as she imagined whatever that thing was shoving her to the ground and ripping her skin open. Exposing her to vacuum, sinking its teeth into her skin while her blood vessel burst—
"Luci?" Blaze asked right in her ear, like he was right behind her.
She jumped so high she nearly made it into orbit. When she touched down again, she bent her knees like she was getting ready to spring out of the way of danger. Held that pose, rigid and tense. Waiting for something fearsome to rush out of the darkness at her.
But, with every agonizing second that passed, she realized nothing was happening.
"Y-Yeah?" she asked.
"What the hell are you doing?"
Philomena had yelled at her for getting spooked the last time, so …
"Nothing," she lied. "Just, um … walking."
"Hurry up," the goddess in question said. "Stop wasting company time."
Luci gulped. "Yes, ma'am."
Maybe if you do what she says … she'll be so happy she realizes she loves you!
The dark crater was silent and ominous, and her optimistic thoughts dissolved into the void like air venting out of a hull breach.
It could happen! she lied to herself.
She passed the cave entrance and came to the cliff wall. Her headlamps were two bright splashes of light on the gray rock. The sheer face seemed so impassable. How was she supposed to make any progress with this thing? And, worse, where was she supposed to run when monsters rushed out of the darkness at her?
There's no monsters out here, she thought.
Her limp voice falling flat, Luci said, "I'm in position."
"Corvo, she's in position."
Philomena's voice slipped into Luci's ear like a shapely finger and tickled her brain, so bad she shivered as the sensation went down her spinal column.
"I can hear her, you know," Blaze said, his voice low and gruff, doing nothing at all for Luci.
"Then why aren't you scanning already?"
"Because we need Rsh to turn off our comms first."
As one, Luci and Philomena shouted, "What?"
"He explained it to me. I don't know tech stuff, but the software for our space suits and the software for our spectroscopes can't be used at the same time. So we've got to turn one off to use the other."
"How does that work?!" Philomena asked.
"I just said, I don't know tech stuff. Something about … Re-Dex?"
"You mean RDEX?" Luci asked. The groan that escaped her mouth filled up the inside of her helmet. It was a brief burst of noise in the emptiness of the outer space. A scream in the void, trying to keep it at bay and failing miserably. "Maldita sea."
"You know about it?" Blaze asked.
"A bit. I picked up bits and pieces here and there from the starnet. Mostly from flame wars whenever anybody releases software that relies on RDEX to interface with engine hardware."
Staring at the rock face, babbling about faulty tech … It felt normal, reassuring. She could almost forget she was stuck at the bottom of a dark pit floating in the middle of space, light-years from the nearest human settlement.
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"Ain't got much of a choice but to grin and bear it," Blaze said, adopting his dumb cowboy accent again. "Hey, Rsh?"
But the line was silent.
"Rsh, hey! You hear me?!"
The line remained silent.
Luci waited in the darkness. Lost. Alone. A creeping sensation went up her back. Itched up her neck. She was sealed inside a space suit, on a world without an atmosphere, but she still felt something huge disturbing the air behind her. Making goosebumps sprout from her skin. Why wasn't she turning around? Why didn't she care about the danger? Why wasn't she running for her life? Her body screamed at her to protect it, and no matter how much she ordered it to be quiet, it made adrenaline pump through her and got ready to fly for safety.
There's nothing out here, she thought.
But something was slithering up behind her. Looming over her. Its jaws widening.
I'm not gonna look, because there's nothing behind me—
It growled right in her ear.
Her back arched. Her muscles tightened. Her heart pounded so hard her chest ached. She rocked onto her toes, getting ready to rush, but there was nowhere to go, the cliff face was right there, and soon it'd ram her from behind and rip her apart …
"I am here," Rsh growled.
She slammed her hands against her chest, to massage her surging heart. But her gloves just clapped against her chestplate. She was severed from her own skin, wrapped up in this heavy thing … All she could do was breath hard and wait for the shakes to go away.
"What do you want?" Rsh asked.
"Hurry up and do the thing," Philomena said.
"What 'thing'?"
Philomena clicked her tongue. "Weren't you listening?"
"Not closely."
"What're you doing up there?"
"Data entry, remember?"
"Well … do both from now on."
The two sharp voices dueled like crossed swords, but Blaze's awful-sounding cowboy accent stepped between them and put a stop to the fighting.
"Listen up, Rsh. We're about ready to get going with this here spectroscopin', so … if you'd be so kind as to turn the comms software off?"
Over the ominous growling from Rsh, the sound of mechanical keys clicking came over the speaker.
"Ready," he replied. "Wait ten seconds. Then scan. Comms will be back … in twenty seconds."
"Don't go disappearing on us, partner," Blaze said.
"Do not tempt me. Comms offline."
Sarcastically, Blaze said, "Somebody's—"
Then the comms channel cut out. The line went dead, and there was nothing in her ear but eerie silence. Her hard breathing was the only sound of life in the whole universe now.
One. Two. Three.
Their suits had to be routed through the ship's comms subsystem, so the three of them outside couldn't even talk to each other. The suits' manufacturers made up a bunch of nonsense about securing voice channels through encryption, but it was an obvious ploy to get you to install their software, which only worked with their space suits.
Four. Five. Six.
You get what you pay for, she thought. And we didn't pay very much.
Ten.
She raised her spectroscope, aimed it at the crater wall, and pulled the trigger. A beam of concentrated light shot from the barrel and hit the rock. The tiny dot glowed intensely. It wasn't much, but she was grateful for the slightest bit of light in the darkness.
Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen.
She imagined Rin Bakuko was with her. Peachy pink skin, flaming red hair. Shouting 'Baka!' at the top of her lungs. Insulting Luci for being scared of the dark, while glancing nervously at the shadows, like a hypocrite.
Fourteen. Fifteen. Sixteen.
The short-tempered tsundere was right behind her. Luci's back was on her stomach. Head nestled right between her massive mounds. Relaxing into the soft, squishy pillows. Oppai, she thought. Oppai! Moaning to herself, she sealed the blast door on this dark and silent world. Hid herself away for some alone time with a top-tier waifu. And Rin would scold her, but then she'd flip-flop and do it anyway while pretending she was doing you the biggest favor in the galaxy.
'So you better shut up and enjoy it, baka!'
"Yes, ma'am!" Luci mumbled.
Seventeen. Eighteen. Nineteen …
Twenty.
She let go of the trigger and lowered the spectroscope. Any second now, the line would reopen and Rsh would say what she'd scanned. Then they'd move down the crater and do it all over again.
Fine by me. More alone time for me and Rin.
The seconds continued to tick past, but all she heard was silence. Her pumping heart grew louder. Like it was echoing inside the tight helmet, creating a feedback loop. Pounding against her skull, rattling her brain, slicing away at her nerves. So much blood pumped through her body. Pressurized, like a space ship. But if something ripped her open it'd all spray everywhere—
Stop!
Still silent, except her own body making a racket. Like it wanted to fill the soundless void. Keep the dark at bay. There was nothing else in the universe, nothing but a pathetic lump of meat. She couldn't see anything, she couldn't hear anything. Everything else was gone. It had all faded away. She was down here, nowhere. Trapped in a pocket dimension. There was no light and no escape.
There was just … nothing.
It's fine, it's fine, everything is fine, she thought, gasping for air.
She nearly dropped the spectroscope, her hand was shaking so much. She stuffed it back into its holster.
Her headlamps splashed the crater wall with light. Brightening the tiny circles in front of her. Making it so hard to tell if some sinister thing was creeping up behind her and shadowing her tiny figure. Eating up her own pathetic shadow with its humongous figure.
Nothing is there.
But something was there, lurking in the shadows where she couldn't see. The monster was going to shove her from behind. Dig its claws into her. Rip her flesh off. Fill its stomach with her insides. She was going to become a pile of shredded, blood-soaked meat and bone. Her life would be snuffed out, the electrical signals in her brain and spine would spark into the air like a static shock , and then she — the electrical shocks that somehow made up a human being — would disappear forever. Spilled into the void, unable to find their home again.
Her chest heaved and crushed against the chestplate. It was so cramped, why was it so tight in here? And the helmet, it was so damned close around her head. She was caged, and she wanted to be free. To be safe.
Why?
The shadows around her headlamps' beams seemed to creep closer, consume more of her field of view. Like she was blacking out.
You're pathetic, Luci. Hopelessly in love with a woman who'll never love you back. Too cowardly to find a woman who'll love you back … or too afraid to realize that nobody ever will.
Despite such bright light hitting the rock wall, all she could see was the darkness around the beams. Her eyes were bone-dry. She was too afraid to close them and let darkness take over her vision. But, open so wide, they sucked all that shadow in, like two black holes, anyway. There was no light anymore; everything was dark.
Is there any point struggling against it? It's not like you're much use to anybody anyway.
Ignoring the cruel thought, she turned to the ship. Peer through the flight deck canopy. The lights were on, but she didn't have the right angle to see inside. Did the monsters get in? Did they kill Rsh? She had no way of knowing. The thought of heading into it and getting eaten made her shrink away until her back was literally against the wall. The rock knocked against the back of her chestplate and rattled her oxygen tanks. The hard hollow strike seemed to make her very bones vibrate with fear.
I can't, I can't, I can't …
The ship, her only beacon of light, might be crawling with creatures from the dark. She couldn't, she didn't, she hadn't … Her mind went along in a panic, picking up and then tossing away half-done ideas. Her instincts moved her body for her. Sliding along the cliff wall, it put as much distance between between her and the light as possible. Edging sideways along its sphere of influence. It looked so inviting in the dark, and yet …
BANG!
Something heavy hammered the top of her helmet. The impact echoed through the tight space caging her head. Screaming, she broke into a run.
You knocked a rock loose, that's all!
But her instincts weren't listening. They made her pelt across the rocky land, heading for the two beams of light past the huge cave opening. The space suit made her clumsy gait even clumsier. Her arms sagged, her legs dragged. But her stubborn body, dreading its death, refused to ease off. Soon, she wasn't 'running' so much as throwing herself forward and hoping her legs caught her in time. She sank towards the ground with every awkward step. It felt like some terrible thing was jumping on her back and pushing her down so it could bite her head off. The whole galaxy tilted crazily around her, and she could barely get her bearings.
Somewhere along the way, her gasping turned into yelping. But she was all alone inside her helmet. There was nobody to hear her desperate screams. Comms were gone, no atmosphere. Nothing but her own flesh, which the monsters in the shadows wanted to eat.
As she hurtled towards them, Blaze and Philomena both twisted to face her and blinded her with their headlamps. She head and upper body snapped back from the intense, searing light, but her legs and feet refused to slow down their stampeding. As her top half went one way and her lower half went the other, she toppled backwards and fell. The padding on her suit absorbed most of the impact, but the blow still struck her skin and traveled through her bones. Pain and numbness spiraled throughout her body.
Unable to make her feet work right, Luci lunged at the nearby legs inside a red-pink space suit. Threw her arms around her goddess's midriff and hung on for dear life. She was so tall and strong. She had so much confidence, and Luci wanted to borrow just a bit of it. Maybe if she basked in Philomena's presence, her shine would rub off on Luci. She had to hope so.
Philomena slammed her hands on Luci's helmet and tried to shove her away, but Luci's instincts were in complete control of her body and she didn't have the strength to overrule them . All she could do was whimper, hold on tight, and hope that Philomena would make the cold darkness go away with her warmth and her light. Then the hand pushing Luci curled into a fist and banged on the top of her helmet. But that just made Luci hang on tighter, since that meant there was somebody else in the universe who was still alive.
"—off!" Philomena yelled. "Get off, Ramirex!"
Luci's sobbing ended with a gasp. Her eyes popped wide open. The tears of panic dangling from her lashes fell off when she blinked in surprise at the sudden human voice issuing from her speaker.
"Rsh!" Blaze shouted, his stupid accent gone. His headlamps shifted as he turned back to the ship. "What the hell happened?"
On the other end of the line, Rsh cleared his throat. The three of them, stuck outside the ship in their space suits, kept silent as they waited for him to speak.
"The software crashed," he said quietly.
Blaze shouted, "Oh, that's just great! Did you get the data, at least?"
"Yes."
"And?"
"Silicate. Nothing valuable."
Luci and her two fellow humans groaned loudly.
"We're just mining a planet!" Philomena shouted. "It can't be that hard!"
Blaze barked out laughter as he swung around to face her. "Says the woman who doesn't even lift a finger."
"I do too!"
"When?!"
"When I raise my hand and point out where you should mine!"
A long string of wordless grumbling and mumbling came over the radio from Blaze's helmet. Then, after a calming breath, he spoke in his dumb cowboy accent again. "I reckon we've got it just a wee bit harder than you, Philomena. Considering we're the ones doing all the work, you hear?"
"I have it hard, too! I have it so hard!"
"How's that?"
"Do you know how long it's been since I've had a Galactic Swirlie?!"
Blaze took another deep, calming breath. "Anyhow."
Hugging the space suit tightly, Luci felt the woman inside it turn away from Blaze and back towards her. She planted her palms on Luci's helmet again and tried to pry her off.
"Ramirex, let go!"
Moaning, Luci relaxed her arms. They slipped off of Philomena's waist. Her legs folded and she sat down hard on the ground. She would've loved nothing more than to stay at Philomena's feet, but the goddess turned away from her and faced Blaze and the ship again.
Blaze asked, "Rsh, you reckon that software's going to give up the ghost again?"
"I cannot say," Rsh said bluntly. "Likely, yes."
His voice bitter with sarcasm, Blaze said, "Well, ain't that just fine and dandy?"
"So wh-what do we do now?" Luci asked from the ground.
The three of them peering at each other, so close and yet divided by their faceplates and the vacuum between them.
"Um, get to work?" Philomena said impatiently.
Her legs still numb, Luci picked herself off the ground and stood up. The suit weighed her down, but under Philomena's watchful eye, the strength to endure it slowly came to her. But what was she going to do when it was time to march off into the darkness again …?
Pulling her spectroscope out of its holster, she darted forward and stood right beside Blaze as he, also, unholstered his spectroscope. His head snapped towards her. His eyes narrowed as they watched her closely.
"I-I-I'm sticking with you," Luci said.
His eyes stayed on her for a few seconds more, then he shrugged and turned to the cliff wall. "Don't you fret," he said. "This here gunslinger'll keep you safe and sound, you hear?"
Luci was so relieved, she didn't even mind that he'd doubled-down on his stupid accent.
Sighing, Philomena said, "Just work twice as fast, then." She clapped her hands, but there was no air for the sound to travel through. "Now hurry up and get back to work."
They moved along the cliff wall, scanning the rocks. Although the software didn't crash again — that day, anyway — every time the line went dead, the fear it wouldn't come back online gripped Luci tight and didn't let go until she heard her companions' voices again.
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