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ROGUEHOUNDS
Shooting the Rodeo #6

Shooting the Rodeo #6

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"It's right over here."

The shrill, smug voice echoed off the concrete walls of the alleyway and attacked Blaze from every angle like ambushing snipers. The woman who owned it stomped ahead, blundering into the dark with her finger outstretched to point the way. She headed straight for a blind turn. Around the corner, the alleyway seemed to get even narrower.

"This ain't where Selman said to go," Blaze snapped.

"Well, it's a shortcut. I have an amazing sense of direction, after all."

"Yeah, cuz whichever way you go, that's a sign to go the other way."

"Hmph!"

Philomena put on a burst of speed and strode ahead of them, rounding the corner fearlessly, and Blaze quickened his own pace to hustle after her.

"Hold your horses—"

He stopped in his tracks, right next to Philomena.

The alleyway widened into a little courtyard where four separate alleyways met, with crates and barrels piled high on all sides. There were four other men there. One of them was on his knees, sobbing. The other three were mercs, by the look of them. The two standing behind the kneeling man had blaster pistols clutched in their black-gloved hands. The third was a mean-looking hombre with long hair slicked back across his scalp and a ragged scar over his milky white left eye.

"There's some interesting rumors floating around, Squeaky Jim," he said. "Brody Bagobie says he saw you talking to a freighter captain on the take from QualMart."

"Brody Bagobie … is wrong! He's just setting me up! He's playing you for a fool, Valk! C-C-Can't you see that? I wouldn't rat you out to QualMart! You know that!"

Grinning wickedly, the man named Valk stood over the kneeling man and cracked his knuckles. "Well, we'll see about that after I—"

Suddenly, the three mercs in the little courtyard froze. Lifted their heads, sensing trouble. The kneeling man continued to sob at the ground. And then, as one, the mercs snapped their heads towards Philomena and Blaze. Their gazes were as explosive as missiles. Blaze rocked back on his feet from the impact, but quickly recovered and waved his hand in a friendly gesture.

"Howdy, partner," he said. "Say, uh … you wouldn't know the quickest way to Rightway Starship Parts, would you?"

The kneeling man's sobs trailed off, and he raised his reddened eyes to Blaze, dumbstruck. Next to him, the mercenary, Valk, scrutinized Blaze and Philomena. Blaze's hand felt awful naked without the comforting weight of his blaster pistol. Then, Valk raised his head and nodded over Blaze's shoulder.

"Go back to the street. Make a right, then a left."

"Much obliged."

Then Blaze swept his arm out and scooped Philomena up. Ignoring her cry, he smiled at the mercs, walked backwards, and dragged the idiot back behind the corner. Once they were safely out of sight, he wiped a sheen of sweat off his forehead and scowled right into her flustered face.

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"So much for your amazing sense of direction."

Turning sharply, he grabbed her upper arm and marched her back up the alleyway. She thrashed and tried to break free, but he kept up a hard pace to throw her off-balance and keep her from getting a chance to put her foot down. He stormed past Rsh and Luci with the struggling, whining idiot in tow.

Back on the street, Philomena dragged her feet on the ground and thrashed so hard she broke free. But she clearly wasn't expecting that, because her face lit up in alarm and she windmilled her arms frantically to regain her balance. It failed. She toppled backwards and landed ass-first on the ground. She squeezed her eyes shut and braced herself as the impact traveled up her body and made her teeth clack together.

"Ain't that just like you," Blaze said. "Couldn't lead your way out of a paper bag, could you?"

Seated on the street, she twisted sideways to rub her backside. Like a toddler throwing a temper tantrum, she shot him a stubborn scowl. Then she twisted her head to the side to avoid looking at him.

"I'm such a great leader!" she said to Rsh and Luci. "Not like Corvo, who's just useless! That's not me at all! I'm sooo great!"

"Philomena," Rsh said.

"What?"

"Is it possible … you are projecting?"

"Huh?"

Edging forward, her feet scraping the ground, Luci chimed in. "It means you hate other people because they remind you of things you don't like about yourself. It's a, um …" She hid her next words with a cough. "… tsundere thing. Whoa, excuse me."

"That is—!"

Philomena scoffed at them, her cheeks flaring red. She threw her stiff arms up and made shapes in the air to try and emphasize her point.

"Me and Corvo have nothing in common! He is a complete moron who struts around like a smug know-it-all, even though he's useless and pathetic. I … am a brilliant businesswoman who struts around actually knowing it all, because I'm brilliant."

She stared at Rsh, who stared back with a low, thoughtful rumble coming from his throat. Then she stared at Luci, who yelped and jumped when the other woman's eyes swept towards her.

"Oh! Uh …" She looked off into the distance and rubbed the back of her head. "Don't get me wrong, you're so brilliant, but … maybe you could, I dunno …" She cringed. "… be a little more brilliant if you, um, listen to other people a bit more? Maybe …? Heh heh."

Philomena picked herself off the ground, raised her hand, and prepared to throw her pointer finger at Blaze like a javelin.

Then, the sound of engines roared overhead. They all cranked their heads back and watched as a line of ships buzzed past the rooftops, with plumes of black exhaust jetting from their engines …

And then sheets of hot black smoke filled the street. Eyes watering, lungs burning, Blaze doubled over coughing. His sense of balance lost, he staggered through the darkness. His face ached from coughing so hard, but no matter how much air he sucked down, the black exhaust made him cough even harder. His head pounded. Dizzy, he sensed the planet wobbling under his feet like its gravity was going haywire. His pulled himself up straight, slitting his eyes against the burning exhaust and stiffening his throat to suppress the mad itch to hack up a lung.

Where's everybody else?! he thought, staggering through the dark. Where is anything?!

"I can't— Bleck! Hurg! I can't see anything!" Philomena shouted, her voice coming through the smoke. "Where are—?"

And then her face rushed out of the darkness. Her forehead rammed his, and the fat smack of bone on bone made his senses blur and his dizziness double. The world swirled around him, lost in the smoke except for the inescapable pull of gravity. Next thing he knew, he'd fallen over and landed hard on his back. His feet flew up in the air, then fell back down. His heels slammed into the ground with a loud click.

Below his legs, he heard Philomena's body also slam against the street.

Dazed, Blaze's head rolled around. He squinted into the endless clouds of black smoke rolling over the surface of the planet. It swirled around, forming shapes. His brain, knocked senseless, occasionally picked up a pattern where there wasn't any.

Hey, is that a whale …?

Lead me, space whale! Lead me to victory …!

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