Like a woman on a mission, Luci prowled the halls of the Kestrel Mining office complex and restlessly hunted for her boss. But the imaginary planning department in her brain who sent her on this mission forgot a few key details. Details like …
When she found Philomena, what the hell was she going to ask her about?
Um, 'I'll need to recalibrate the Stavguus neblo-actuator.'
No, she'll just tell me to talk to Rsh.
Hmm, how about … 'Can the budget stretch to cover a few cans of syndolene for the inertial dynocompressors?'
No, she'll also tell me to talk to Rsh.
She stopped in the middle of the hallway like an invisible blast door had dropped down in front of her.
What does she do here, anyway?
Then, a side door further down the hall slid open. The woman in question stomped out into the corridor. Her shoulder-length hair, drier now, lifted and bounced playfully. Her apple cheeks had a slight red flush under her pale skin, and the sight of those sweet bumps made Luci's mouth water …
The tall, glorious chief executive of Kestrel Mining walked down the hall away from Luci.
"Philomena!"
As her plaintive cry carried down the hall, Philomena stopped. She tilted her head just enough that she could see Luci out of the corner of her eye, and no further.
"What is it, Ramirex?"
Put on the spot, Luci felt the cool beauty's sharp gaze skewer her.
Ay caray, I didn't think this through! Luci thought. Think, brain! What am I going to talk to her about—?!
Aha!
She darted forward and orbited around to Philomena's front, while Philomena's head swiveled to follow her progress like a turret on a cannon. Ready to blow her away if she got out of line. Standing in front of the cool beauty, Luci — at only five-foot-two — felt even shorter. Her gaze was so heavy that it doubled the gravity on Luci, pushing her towards the floor.
"Ph-Philomena, ahem … what would you say your job here is?"
"Um, I'm your boss?"
"Right! Right, but, um … Corvo, see, he said you d-don't … you don't d-d-do anything here."
Philomena's gaze rose up till she stared at a spot somewhere over Luci's shoulder. Her eyes narrowed and her brow drew down into one hell of a scowl. It was so sharp, Luci was half-afraid it'd drill through the hull of the station.
"I-I-I defended you, of course," Luci blurted out. "But I wanted to … make sure we-we're on the s-same page. So I c-can defend you again, if I need to."
As Luci lied, her twitching hands went into overdrive. She held her elbow, propped her hand under her chin, rubbed her wrists, steepled her fingers in front of her mouth, flipped them down until they cracked, threw her crooked arms out to the sides and rolled her shoulders, laced her fingers behind her skull.
All in the span of about four seconds.
"S-S-So — in your opinion — wh-what's the most important thing you do here …?"
Philomena scoffed, rolled her eyes at the ceiling, slumped her shoulders, shook her head. A fairly typical response to Corvo's stupidity — even though, in this case, Luci had made it all up.
Sorry, Corvo, Luci thought.
"Isn't it obvious?" Philomena asked her.
She craned her head forward as she spoke. Her burning eyes seared a hole through Luci's head and ignited her brain with desire.
"The most important part of my job, as chief executive …"
Luci leaned forward until she rolled onto her toes, trying to stretch her painfully-short body upward and approach the glorious woman who commanded the company with her iron will. She strained her ears to catch the words as they flowed from Philomena's perfectly pert lips.
"… is to look pretty. Duh!"
The words blew Luci away, causing her to roll back on her feet until her heels were firmly planted on the ground again.
She's totally right, Luci thought with a passionate swoon.
Philomena, who had seemingly said everything she needed to say, brushed past Luci and continued down the hallway.
Luci's heart had melted into a puddle on the floor along with five gallons of perspiration. Once she peeled it off the ground, she ran after Philomena.
Perfect, she's going into the employee breakroom! It won't look weird if I go inside too.
She strolled inside. The room had upper and lower cabinets, with a laminated countertop between them, wrapped around one corner. A large gap hinted where the refrigerator had once been parked. Luci inched behind a table in the center, her heart hammering so loud she was convinced Philomena could hear it all the way across the room.
Philomena rummaged through the mostly-empty cabinets.
"A-Anything to eat …?" Luci asked.
Stolen novel; please report.
"Shouldn't you know?" Philomena snapped. "You and Corvo were here, not me."
"Eh, heh … right."
Philomena stood on tiptoe and felt around the top shelf of a cabinet.
"Aha!"
She yanked a four-pack of vanilla pudding out.
As her mouth fell open in happy surprise, her smile made butterflies rampage around Luci's stomach so hard she nearly doubled her.
Philomena tore the drawers open and then slammed them shut, one after the other.
"Spoon," she muttered. "Spoon."
After checking a half-dozen drawers, she gave up and stared at the pudding again, deep in thought.
Then, she tore the cup at the end off and put the rest of the package on the counter.
She ripped the pudding cup's lid off, and …
And …
It felt like time dilation was slowing everything in the universe to a crawl. Everything except Luci's eyes, and Philomena's hands. They were the only things moving; all else fell away, forgotten.
Philomena held her index and middle fingers out, squeezed them together, and curled them into a scoop. Her thumb tucked her last two fingers against her palm. As she held the cup up, her fingers gripped it so tight the round opening got squeezed into a slit.
Luci's breathing grew ragged. She leaned forward, drawn to the spectacle like a black hole.
Those long, slender fingers flexed outside the pudding cup. They limbered themselves up, preparing to scoop the goo out. Shifted around, worked out the best angle. Moved with the grace of a lioness on the hunt, about to lunge and attack her prey.
And then …
Then …
Philomena rammed her fingers right into the slit.
The impact blasted Luci from ten feet away. She gasped, and she couldn't stop inhaling. Like a valve in her throat was broken. The breath caught in her esophagus. She trembled as the cold burn made her jaw ache. The muscles around her eyes ached from opening up so widely. Her squirming body went weak at the knees; she had to grip the edges of the table to keep from falling over.
The two fingers thrust deeper into the slit. Deep … and hard.
They felt around the inside, learning all its most intimate corners, tracing the hidden curves tucked away on the other side.
A wet gurgle rose up Luci's throat and bubbled at the back of her mouth.
The two fingers dug in deep and stroked the top, scooping as much of the moist goo up as they could.
I can't take any more of this! Luci thought.
Her body was perpetually on edge, strung out by the relentless tease like she was being drawn and quartered. But Philomena did not care about making Luci squirm. Whenever that … that savage vixen saw something she wanted, she took it.
She took it so hard!
Then, Philomena yanked her goo-covered fingers out of the slit.
The tension snaked out of Luci's body. Like she'd been coiled up in tight cables, and then somebody had given them a yank and pulled them so they slid off.
Exhausted, she fell towards the tabletop.
Her elbows were almost too weak to support her weight, but she put every last drop of strength into locking them in place, and she barely managed to avoid smashing her face on the surface.
Panting, sweaty, flushed …
She raised her head.
Philomena thrust her moist, gooey fingers right into her mouth.
Oh, oh, oh! Luci thought.
Her knees buckled. She sank down until her locked elbows struck the table with a hammering blow that whacked her funny bones and made her arms wobble like tuning forks. The awkward kneel made her normal height — five-foot-two — feel like walking on stilts.
Those pert pink lips …
… forming a seal around her slender digits …
… and her saliva-coated tongue, sliding up and down …
… scraping every last drop of goo off her pale, sticky skin …
Luci's body chemistry boiled hotter than the sun. It felt like most of it was dripping down her face and turning to vapor on her steaming skin.
Pudding dribbled from the slit and threatened to fall onto the floor.
"Mmmm," Philomena murmured.
She pulled her glistening fingers out of her mouth, bent her head towards the pudding cup, and opened her mouth to …
… to stick her tongue out.
Luci's heart exploded. Beating roughly eight million times a second, it sent waves of adrenaline gushing through her body. She slammed her palms on the table and shoved herself to her feet as hard as she could. The loud bang filled the breakroom. Philomena froze, tongue an inch from the slitted pudding cup. Her eyes rolled around to look at Luci.
Thrown for a loop by standing up so fast, Luci swayed dizzily on the spot. She lashed her arms out to regain her balance, and made some confused hand gestures to convey her intentions — intentions she herself wasn't even sure of — to her lovely boss.
"I'm gonna … you enjoy … I need to … I'll …"
She cut her losses and twirled to face the door.
I need to get out of here before I—!
"Ramirex."
That one word shot towards Luci like a missile and blew her away. Her whole body went rigid, like she'd enlisted in Sigma Force and now her muscles had been trained to snap to attention every time a drill instructor barked orders at her.
Don't look at her! she thought. Don't look!
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"I need you to do something for me."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"You're the closest thing to a woman we have here."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"Besides me, obviously. But the only thing worse than going out into this disgusting slum is seeing other people see me going out into this disgusting slum."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"You know what Stellar is, right?"
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"I need a serious facial, so go out and pick me up some Cartoobian Moishmush."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"I read that stuff is so good for skin."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
"And I don't care what Rsh says about wasting money. Executives need to look stunning to do their job … stunning people with their incredible business skills."
"Yes?" Luci squeaked.
After a few seconds of silence …
"Well?" Philomena snapped. "Hurry up, will you?"
"Yes!"
Luci raced to the door, not daring to look back at what the radiant woman behind her was doing to her poor, innocent pudding cup.