Walking in stride with Eunji in silence, you weave your way once again into the center of the arena to the same long corridor. You carry yourself tall and concentrate on your breath remaining even, becoming someone else. Maybe this is the best version of you. Maybe it’s who you wish you were.
You hear muffled music and conversations grow louder as Eunji leads you down the hall. You pass the room marked 7 to find it dark and empty, appearing to not hold any transformative power that catalyzed the events of the day before. The talking becomes clearer as you and Eunji progress down the outstretched hall, and you recognize the voices of BTS.
A jolt of panic rises in your chest, your grip slipping on your idealized self causing you to cling to it more tightly.
As you pass the room labeled 4, you can’t help throwing a furtive glance. The seven members are in various stages of hair and makeup lounging comfortably in a dressing room strewn with styling products, bags, and makeup supplies.
Another set of eyes catch yours. Yoongi’s.
You snap your eyes forward, instant regret punching you in the gut.
Walking out of earshot, you hear Yoongi’s voice saying, “Jungkook–”
Heart thundering, you shove the moment out of your mind by negotiating that you can overanalyze it later.
Reaching the end of the corridor, Eunji opens the door and motions for you to go inside. There’s a long wooden table with office chairs lining the sides. The security guard that escorted you yesterday sits in one of the chairs looking unamused. Sitting next to him is a man you don’t recognize whose eyes sparkle with warmth. A black leather folder rests on the table in front of him.
You focus on who you are, who you need to be, for this.
The two men stand at your arrival.
“This is Shin Beom-Seuk, head of security,” Eunji says, nodding at the security guard. “I believe you two met yesterday.”
“Yes, it’s nice to formally meet you,” you say, smiling and bowing. He remains serious, giving a slight bow.
“And this is Chun Chin-Hwa, the tour manager,” Eunji says, indicating the smartly dressed man you don’t recognize. You bow, and he bows in return.
“It’s nice to meet you.”
“I can’t thank you enough for how you intervened at the airport,” Chin-Hwa says, offering a welcoming smile that puts you a little more at ease. Eunji makes her way around the table to sit beside him. “You saved me from a very long, sleepless night of rearranging the schedule and accommodations at the last minute. Please, sit.” He directs you to the chair across from them as he settles into his own.
Your stomach twists as you sit across from the panel of three, bracing yourself for whatever comes next. Looking across the table, you see Eunji’s icy eyes. The search for any trace of hope or reassurance in them is futile. Beom-Seuk has been silently gathering information about you from the moment you arrived. Chin-Hwa adjusts his sport jacket, sending a smile.
“Let’s get started,” Chin-Hwa says. “Tell us about yourself.”
Your awareness sharpens to the razor’s edge of the present moment, the words you rehearsed last night tasting sweet on your lips.
“I’ve worked in the Medical ICU for three years back home in Tennessee. I’m 25.” You meet each of their eyes as you speak. “I have experience with caring for patients with respiratory failure, neurological and cardiac diseases, and infections. Mostly sepsis. I’ve been in many emergency situations and countless codes. I’m certified in critical care nursing and advanced cardiac life support.”
The self-inflation grates against you, probing you to make a caveat that nursing was never some etheric soul purpose you’re fulfilling. It’s broken you into pieces, and when you put those pieces back together, you pretended to be healed and whole.
Eunji sits motionless. Beom-Seuk’s unrelenting examination bores a hole into you, but he seems more satisfied as he leans back in his chair.
“Good,” Chin-Hwa says, straightening. “This can be a stressful and high pressure environment to work in. You’ll be traveling frequently and sent wherever we need you to help keep BTS safe and healthy. There may be times when you are the only medical staff member present. Is that something you can handle?” A challenge flashes in his eyes, the first hint of an edge to his cordial charm.
“Well, I’ve started an IV on a patient who was a hard stick to transfuse blood products in the middle of a code while their family watched, asking if their loved one was going to be okay. More than once.” You’re taken aback by how smoothly the words flow out, by hearing your voice speak them. “So, yes.”
A smile forms on Eunji’s mouth that she quickly corrects. Chin-Hwa seems appeased by your response and says, “You’ve cleared our background check.” You freeze, feeling slightly violated.
They must’ve used the information I gave Eunji.
He continues, “And Eunji has already given us her recommendation.” You stare at Eunji in shock until you regain control of your face. Her stoic exterior doesn’t falter this time. “You’ll be contracted for the rest of the Love Yourself tour and renewed based on our needs,” Chin-Hwa says. “We will expect you to perform physical assessments, monitor vitals, and give first aid if someone is injured.”
His voice sounds distant as the words drift through you. You’re too afraid to hope. You know better than that.
“So,” Chin-Hwa says, “do you have any questions?”
“There are others on the medical staff?”
This narrative has been purloined without the author's approval. Report any appearances on Amazon.
“Yes. There are two others, Kim Arahae and Jee Doyun.”
The memory of Jungkook at the airport replays in your mind, bringing you back to the disorder. You see the different people slipping around you, the EMTs, security, and…two others in MEDICAL STAFF shirts.
“We want to offer you the position,” Chin-Hwa says, running a hand over the folder in front of him.
An emotion grows within you so foreign that you’d nearly forgotten it completely, that you almost didn’t recognize it. It tickles your solar plexus and travels upward into your chest where it expands lightly and gently, enveloping your half-torn heart.
“Thank you,” you say as you force yourself to remain even-keeled, allowing only a polite smile. “I would love to be part of your staff.”
Looking pleased, Chin-Hwa opens the folder. “It would be best if you start as soon as possible. I understand you have another job, so giving a two weeks notice will be fine. We can fly you back to Tennessee, and you’ll join the tour in New York on October sixth. How does that sound?”
“It sounds…good.”
Chin-Hwa chuckles then becomes serious again. “There is one more thing.” He opens the folder and pulls out a stack of papers and a pen, sliding them over to you. “Along with signing your contract, you will need to sign an NDA. You’ll be working closely with BTS and aware of their schedules and promotions before the general public. We expect our staff to remain discreet.” His eyes find yours, and your mouth dries.
“Of course.” The pages of the legal document feel thick between your fingers.
NON-DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT
PARTIES
This Non-Disclosure Agreement (hereinafter referred to as the “Agreement”) is entered into on September 16th, 2018 (the “Effective Date”) by and between Big Hit Entertainment (hereinafter known as the “Disclosing Party”) and Jasmine Law (hereinafter known as the “Receiving Party”) (collectively referred to as the “Parties”).
CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
The Receiving Party agrees not to disclose, copy, clone, or modify any confidential information related to the Disclosing Party and agrees to not use any such information without obtaining consent.
“Confidential Information” refers to any data and/or information that is related to the Disclosing Party, in any form, including, but not limited to, oral or written. Such confidential information includes, but is not limited to any information related to the business or industry of the Disclosing Party, such as discoveries, processes, techniques, programs, knowledge bases, schedules, marketing plans, promotions, or any other services related to the Disclosing Party.
RETURN OF CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION
The Receiving Party agrees to return all the confidential information to the Disclosing Party upon the termination of the Agreement.
SIGNATURE AND DATE
The Parties hereby agree to the terms and conditions set forth in this Agreement and such is documented by their signatures below.
You hold the weighted, expensive pen as the ink glides and swirls across the page to create your signature. You read over the employment contract, and, when you’re satisfied with the fine print, you sign it. Setting the pen on the document, you hand the contracts back to Chin-Hwa, hoping no one notices your hands trembling.
The panel of three stands, and Chin-Hwa says with a smile, “Welcome to the team.” Eunji’s eyes gleam. You wonder if Beom-Seuk found you wanting during his data collection.
“Thank you,” you say, smiling fully.
The two men leave, and Eunji stays. “I have a few things to do before the show tonight. Can you find your way out?”
“Yeah, I remember the way.”
“They should send your plane ticket to your phone,” Eunji says, turning to leave. She stops at the doorway, looking over her shoulder. “I’ll see you in New York.”
The door closes, and you’re in the conference room alone. You refuse to acknowledge your emotions because once you start, you’re not sure if you’ll be able to stop the outpouring.
Get back to the hotel.
Your body obeys as you start walking, opening the door to leave. Back in the hallway, you have to walk by BTS’ dressing room. Again. You suck in a breath and fix your eyes on a point in the distance, determined to not let your eyes wander.
You pass room 4, feeling eyes on you.
“Hey!”
Turning to see the source of the voice behind you, you see Jimin sticking his head out of the doorway. “How did it go?”
“Um…it went great, actually,” you say, making your way over to him. “They hired me.” A smile spreads across your face.
Standing in the doorway to the dressing room with Jimin, you see the other members. You understand why you felt eyes on you earlier, because Jungkook’s were on you now.
“Congratulations!” Jimin says, beaming.
“After what happened at the airport, I’d trust you,” Yoongi says from where he’s reclining on a couch. Jungkook is staring at you so intently that you start to wonder if you have something on your face.
“I– Um, thank you.”
You meet Jungkook’s stare, and he looks away.
“When are you officially joining the tour?” Jin asks as a stylist shapes his hair.
“The New York show on October sixth,” you say, the words fresh and new.
“Good. I’m sure we can survive a few airports until then,” Namjoon says, making you laugh.
“I hope so. You guys really need more security,” you say.
“Tell that to Big Hit,” Taehyung says.
“I’m sure you have a flight to catch,” Hoseok says.
“Have a safe flight! See you soon,” Jimin says.
You thank him and say goodbye.
• • •
You hold your hand up to block the sun as you leave the arena. A few fans give you perplexed looks as you walk through restricted areas to get into your Uber. You feel numb on the drive back to the hotel, preferring the emptiness.
You stare, mind blank, at your metallic reflection in the elevator door. Walking into your hotel room and hearing the door close, you’re alone.
You burst into tears, kneeling to the floor. The sobs wrack you as a dream you never knew you had is fulfilled, tears staining your face and shirt. Your shoulders shake as you cry with your broken shards of self, feeling that they can be mended.
The cascade of emotion settles enough that you can rise from the floor, and you pour a glass of cold water. After taking a drink, you kick your shoes off and cocoon in bed. A few tears escape and soak into the pillow.
You try envisioning your future but can’t picture much of anything. The future is always uncertain, but, for once, that uncertainty is full of possibility and potential.
Excitement and hope swell, filling your body and soothing your hurts.
Your phone buzzes, and you see a text from Chin-Hwa containing your ticket home.
Delta Air Lines
Dallas to Memphis
Gate: A22 Departure: 6:15pm 16 September 2018
Boarding Zone: D3 Seat: B13
Business Class
You get out of bed and start packing.