Standing under the stage with the other members, Jungkook sinks down into a chair on the lowered platform for the encore. He’s been quiet ever since the confrontation with Doyun. With too many eyes around to pick apart your interactions, you’re unsure of what to do. Doyun, his eyes cast downward, had avoided Jungkook at every opportunity.

You step back as the platform is raised to center stage, the fans chanting. “What a dramatic night,” Arahae says next to you. “If we go back to the dressing room, we’ll have to sit awkwardly with Doyun. Want to watch the encore from backstage?”

“Can we? I don’t think I’m ready for that yet.”

“Say less.” Following Arahae out of the scaffolding beneath the stage, she makes a few turns and walks up a small set of steps. She stops in a dark, damp area just off stage right. The glaring lights flood the stage as ARMY Bombs form constellations in the crowd.

“Are we allowed to be here?” you ask.

She grins. “As long as no one can see us, yeah.”

Smiling, you watch as the end of So What flows into Anpanman. Jungkook catches your eye from where he’s sitting when he hangs his head and his shoulders begin to shake. Seeing him cry feels like someone sliced your own heart, and tears well up. You and Arahae share concerned looks.

Jimin is the first to notice and runs over to Jungkook. Kneeling down, Jimin says something you don’t catch. Jungkook calms and wipes his face with a nearby towel. As Jimin says a few more words to him, Jungkook breaks into a smile that Jimin returns. Watching Jimin’s care makes you eternally grateful to him for doing what you cannot.

Taehyung jogs over, not attempting to conceal the worry on his face. Jungkook stands, and Tae walks side by side with him as they walk back to the rest of the members. Rallying, Jungkook sings his part and laughs at Jimin prancing around him.

As Love Yourself: Answer’s gentle melody fills the arena and dwindles, your heart begins to mend. The members bow. Waving and giving finger hearts to the audience, they slowly make their way to exit stage right.

Arahae walks off with an unspoken understanding that you won’t follow. You move out of the way so the members can walk past you, giving you curious glances. Jungkook is the last one to leave the stage and stops in the darkness when he sees you.

He closes the distance and embraces you, but it’s different this time. Clinging to you, his tears soak the shoulder of your shirt where his head is buried. Your arms tighten around him with one hand reaching up to stroke his hair.

“It’s okay,” you whisper.

He pulls back, his eyes red. “Because of my stupidity, I couldn’t perform for ARMY that waited in lines all day and traveled to see us.” His face is twisted with emotion. “They deserve better than this.”

Hearing him shocks you into frustration, and your words tumble out. “Even if all you did was sit and sing, it doesn’t matter. They love you.” You pause, heat rising to your face. “You’re human. It was an accident. They’ll understand.”

As he takes your words in, his face relaxes.

“I’m sure they’re just glad you’re okay,” you say. “I am.”

His eyes glow with something dark and intense. Placing a hand on the small of your back, he guides you back to the dressing room.

In the corridor, Jungkook disappears to change into his street clothes, so you return to the dressing room to gather your supplies. “I can’t wait to crash,” you say to Arahae. “I’m exhausted.”

“Same,” she says.

“How do you like tour life so far?” Hobi asks.

You smile, thinking about your answer. “It’s tiring but incredible.”

“Right?” Hobi smiles brightly. “You’re doing great for a first timer.”

“Thanks,” you say, blushing. “I’ve had a lot of help.”

“I have an idea! Who’s up for private room karaoke tomorrow night?” Arahae asks the group.

“That sounds fun,” Namjoon says as he gathers his things.

“I’m in,” Jin says.

“Then it’s settled,” Arahae says. “I’ll book the room and whoever wants to join can.”

You carry the items to the medical staff dressing room but stop when you hear voices echoing down the hallway from another room—Jungkook and Eunji’s.

“It’s my fault,” you hear Jungkook say. “I wasn’t thinking and got injured in a place she couldn’t even be.”

The narrative has been illicitly obtained; should you discover it on Amazon, report the violation.

There’s a silence. “I understand,” Eunji says.

You hear footsteps and quickly walk across the hall. Making sure to have your back to the door, you put your work gear into your backpack.

“I’d like to have a word.”

You turn around to see Eunji standing in the doorway. Your stomach drops as you follow her into the room she must’ve been in with Jungkook earlier. Sitting in one of the chairs, she motions for you to sit across from her.

“About today,” she says, “I know there’s nothing you could’ve done to prevent it.” You want to feel hopeful, but dread lingers. “Maybe now you can understand why we hired you.”

“Yes.”

“I need you to keep a closer eye on him. If following him everywhere is what it takes, then that’s what it takes. The rest of the tour is at stake. Possibly his career, too, if he can’t stay healthy and injury free. Don’t let him out of your sight.”

“I’ll do better. I promise.”

Her lips play at a smile. “Careful about the promises you make when you’re dealing with Jeon Jungkook.” You give a small smile, and she leans forward. “About the fondness you two have for each other, I don’t have a problem with it.” You stiffen and, despite your best efforts, blood rushes to your face. “Neither does Chin-Hwa. Just don’t let the public catch on. Always use discretion which I know you will. We can help you with that.”

Unable to speak, you simply nod. She stands, offering a slight smile. “See you tomorrow.”

When she’s gone, you stay seated letting the conversation sink in.

Does everyone know?

You replay Eunji’s words and wonder if she really just gave you permission to have a thing with Jungkook. Walking back into BTS’ dressing room to make sure you picked up all your supplies, you find Jimin and Taehyung laughing at Jungkook.

“He took the pain pill he was prescribed,” Taehyung says through laughter. “Must’ve been a solid dose. He’s feeling much better now.”

“Good luck,” Jimin says, patting you on the shoulder on his way out with Tae.

“Oh, it’s you,” Jungkook says when he sees you. “I’ve been looking for you.” He walks over to you. In the light, you notice his pupils are dilated. “I keep meaning to tell you that you have pretty eyes.” He smiles.

You laugh. “How strong was that pain pill?”

He waves a hand. “Let’s ride to the hotel together. We’re going to the same place anyway, right?” Your heart quickens. You consider refusing, but you remember Eunji’s words.

Don’t let him out of your sight.

At this point, Jungkook in an altered state is a liability. “Yeah, let’s go.” Grabbing your backpack, you walk with him to an SUV waiting outside.

You both climb in and sit in the back, sharing the bench seat. The car begins moving, and you look over at Jungkook as the street lights glide across his face.

“I had an interesting conversation with Eunji earlier,” you say, your heart leaping into your throat.

“Really? I told her it was my fault–”

“It wasn’t about that.”

He looks confused. “What was it about, then?”

Your heart pounds wildly. “It…” You swallow your words. “Nevermind.”

“No, you were about to say something.” When he sees you keeping quiet, he unbuckles his seatbelt and slides closer to you. “Tell me.”

You look down. “I can’t.”

“Jas,” he says, placing a hand under your jaw and turning your face towards his. “Tell me.”

You cave. “Eunji said I can’t let you out of my sight.”

He smirks. “I’d like that.” He releases his hand from your jaw and straightens. “Anything else?”

“That her and Chin-Hwa don’t have a problem with our…‘fondness’ for each other.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” You don’t answer, but your eyes ask him what you can’t find words for. He looks thoughtful. “Before we go any further, there’s something you should know about me.”

“What’s that?”

“When I want someone, I want all of them. In every way.” He pauses as you process his words. “And you’re very good at giving yourself to me. Listening to me.”

You know what he means.

“Have you done this before?” he asks.

“Yes.” He waits for you to continue, and you know there’s no way you’re getting out of it. You take a deep breath. “I think it’s always been what I’ve wanted in relationships. I didn’t realize that about myself until later for a lot of reasons, so I didn’t know how to ask for it. I’ve had a few experiences. Nothing serious.” You add in a soft voice, “Nothing that feels as natural as this.”

He gives a gratified smile.

You’re afraid of the answer, but the question burns you. “What about you?”

“Idol life complicates a lot of things,” he says, choosing his words carefully. “I’ve found ways to get what I need. Temporary solutions. But I’m looking for something different.” His eyes search yours. “Something deeper.”

“So am I.”

He giggles, burying his head in your neck. “I feel good.” His warm breath tickles you.

The SUV pulls up to a hotel that looks more like a castle. Jungkook grabs your backpack and you both get out.

“I’ll walk you to your room,” he says. “We’re on the same floor, I think.” Walking through the bright lobby, you enter the elevator. It lurches upward, the air thickening as his dilated eyes linger on you. The doors open, and you both walk down the long hotel hallway close enough that your arms brush.

“This is me,” you say, stopping in front of the door.

A corner of his mouth pulls upward. “Sure you can’t come to my room?”

You giggle. “You’re high as hell. You need to sleep it off.”

“Damn.” He gives you the backpack. “Remind me not to take these anymore.”

“Goodnight,” you say, smiling.

“Goodnight, Jas,” he says, walking away.

As your card key clicks the door open, you look over your shoulder at Jungkook, and see him looking back at you.