The rest of July muddies in your mind, mixing like too much water in paint, until, finally, September arrives.

• • •

You open the door to reveal a road-trip-ready Nikki. She’s wearing a white short-sleeved shirt, black leggings, and vans. Her hazel eyes are bright with excitement despite the early morning. “I can’t believe we’re doing this!” she says as you motion for her to come in. “Are you ready?”

You promised yourself you’re going to leave all thoughts of work behind for the BTS concert, so you shake off the remnants of the past few weeks as best you can, hoping you can keep your promise. “More than you know,” you respond. You chose short overalls with a white crop top underneath and purple converse.

You grab your canvas bag and suitcase, take one last look at your apartment, and walk out the door.

• • •

The motion of the car threatens to lull you to sleep, so you take a swig of the sugary iced latte with a pump of lavender Nikki made a pit stop for. She swishes her own iced coffee and sneaks a glance at you. “You’ve been awfully quiet,” she says.

“Yeah,” you say as you look down at your coffee. “I’ve been dealing with some stuff.”

“Anything you want to talk about?”

“Not really…” you say as you avoid her eyes.

She’s silent for a moment, and you suspect she senses your darkness.

“It’s too much to get into now. I just want to focus on having fun,” you explain. “We can talk about it later.”

“Alright,” she says. “I’m here whenever you want to talk.”

You feel a twinge of guilt for not wanting to open up, but you promised yourself you wouldn’t ruin this trip with rants about work. Besides, there was time to get into everything later.

“So, what’s this master plan of yours?” you ask, changing subjects.

Nikki perks up and says, “Well, I’m so glad you asked.” A smile forms across her face. “I did some research and we’re going to get to Fort Worth before their flight lands. So we can see them at the airport if we time it right!”

“Are we sure we want to be airport ARMYs?” you ask.

“It’ll be fine,” she says as she waves a hand. “We’ll stay at the back and watch the chaos. Not be part of it,” she says. “We can’t miss this!”

“Okay, but we better not get mobbed or something,” you say. “I’m off duty.”

Laughing, she says, “Chill out, Mrs. Nurse. You need to enjoy yourself every once and a while.”

A smile cracks across your mouth, feeling foreign.

“Oh,” Nikki says, remembering something. “There’s a package in the backseat,” she motions with her head. “Open it.”

You reach over and grab the box, using your keys as a makeshift boxcutter. You peel back the cardboard to reveal two BT21 Line Friends headbands – one with two pastel blue Koyas on each side and another with soft pink Cookys.

“You did not,” you gasp, grabbing both of them out of the box as butterflies flutter in your stomach. “You shouldn’t have!” you say, throwing an incredulous look her way.

“But I did,” Nikki says with a mischievous grin.

• • •

Arriving at the hotel, you drag your suitcase in and flop facedown on the nearest twin bed.

“Rest later,” Nikki says, kicking one of your feet hanging off the edge of the bed.

You roll over as your heart picks up speed thinking about the reality of seeing BTS at the airport. “How close are we really going to get?” you ask, mentally preparing yourself.

“Close enough, trust me,” Nikki says. “Now let’s go.”

• • •

You and Nikki walk through the automatic glass doors of the Dallas Fort Worth airport as cold air rushes over you and your eyes adjust.

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“Their gate is B7,” she says, leading you through the maze of people and illuminated signs. Making your way past the convenience stores and restaurants, you notice splashes of purple mixing with everyday travelers. Looks like we all had the same idea.

As you weave through people, the air hums with a secret thrill. A large group of fans have already claimed their territory around the gate, so you and Nikki steal seats at a nearby bar that’s carefully tucked away. “How long have they been waiting here?” you ask.

“Some people have been here since early this morning,” Nikki answers. You stare back at her with wide eyes. Nikki laughs and says, “I saw it on Twitter. Don’t underestimate ARMY, remember?”

“I’m learning,” you say, watching the horde of fans around the gate grow larger with each breath.

Nikki snaps upright with bright eyes. “I almost forgot!” She pulls out the BT21 headbands from her backpack and puts on her Koya one. You slide on your Cooky headband feeling a bit shy until you’re reminded of sage wisdom Nikki once shared. Loud and proud, bitch. You sit a little taller.

Screams erupt from the crowd, and your breath catches. The mass of fans lurches forward as two security personnel struggle to maintain control.

“Come on. Let’s see if we can get closer,” Nikki says as she pushes away from her chair and is gone before you have the chance to protest. You follow her and struggle to keep up.

“I thought we were staying a safe distance away!” The screams are so loud that you have to shout at the back of Nikki’s head as she presses forward. You’re not sure if she doesn’t hear you or is conveniently ignoring you.

You’re swallowed up by the sea of ARMY and work to maintain balance as the crowd undulates like a strong current. Only a few people separate you from Nikki, so you push deeper into the unbridled mass. An elbow jabs you in the ribs as you dodge a flying hand that knocks your headband awry. You reach up a hand to stabilize it.

“What the fuck was that?” you ask Nikki as you catch up to her. You realize how close you are to the front as you catch your breath.

The screams intensify in a way you didn’t think was possible as the seven members of BTS glide into view. Your heart stops. Fans press in on all sides. They proceed one by one accompanied by a single security guard.

Jimin.

He politely nods to the crowd as he walks by, hiding under a black beanie and chic sunglasses. You admire his effortless glamor.

Jin.

The first thing you notice is how broad his shoulders are in person. He flashes a playful smile to the screaming fans as he strides by.

You hear a few shouts from security, but can’t quite make out what was said. Your eyes scan the room for signs of danger as your intuition whispers to you that something isn’t right.

Yoongi.

His cool and confident aura strikes you as he motions a casual wave to acknowledge ARMY.

Taehyung.

A few silver rings glint in the light as he holds up a peace sign.

Waves of forward motion from the mass of people push you forward. You hear Nikki gasp.

Namjoon.

Your eyes gravitate to his dimples as his lips press back into a cheeky smile.

“Stay back!” a security guard warns. Fans continue to drive toward the members, using their strength in numbers. Why the hell do they not have better security? A feeling of dread forms in the pit of your stomach. It’s a warning. You lock arms with Nikki without explanation. You hear more shouting from security that is lost in exhilarated screams.

Time stops.

Jungkook.

His face is concealed by a bucket hat as he walks by carefully, separated from the others.

The fans forget social norms as they become intoxicated by proximity. You see a security guard speak into his radio as another shouts again to stay back. You and Nikki exchange a look as you both realize what this could turn into.

You witness the unthinkable as fans rush into the walkway and cut Jungkook off. He begins to take a few steps back when more fans block the way he came. He looks around for security as he’s surrounded by people.

It’s too late.

Jungkook is engulfed in a sea of ARMY.

Your heart feels as if it will leap out of your chest as an unknown part of you is activated and overtakes you. Urgency and instinct course through you, overriding all other thoughts.

Go.

Not fully understanding why, you break away from Nikki leaving her stunned.

Pushing your way through the crowd, the yelling becomes indiscernible as you’re compressed by people on all sides.

You break through the final ring of fans around him to see him sprawled on the ground. “Get back!” you hear yourself shout, pushing people away.

You kneel down to meet him on the cold tile.

Your analytical eyes scan him for information. Facts.

Respirations? Slow, but present.

Pulse?

You hesitate for the first time since you left Nikki. Reality threatens to drown out your training, so you hone in on your instincts before it’s too late. Taking your first and middle finger, you feel for Jungkook’s carotid pulse beneath his jaw.

Steady.

“Jungkook?” you half-shout. No response.

Loss of consciousness.

You delicately turn his face looking for any signs of trauma and find a large bruise forming on the right side of his head. Shit. Preparing for the worst, you coax his head back to midline.

His eyes flutter open.

“Jungkook? You’re okay. Help is coming,” you say in your best I’m-a-nurse voice. His brown eyes are dark, deep, and dazed. You lose yourself in them.

Your gaze is broken when backup security with EMTs appear and break up the crowd. “What happened?” one of the EMTs asks.

You stand. “I’m a nurse. The crowd rushed him, and I didn’t see what happened. When I got to him, he was unconscious on the ground. He has a large right lateral bruise. Respirations 14. Pulse 72. He regained consciousness just before you got here. ”

They nod and begin examining him. You see the other six members examining you with a questioning look and heat spreads across your cheeks. Jungkook sits up holding his head.

As the adrenaline leaves your system, fear is replaced.

What the fuck did I just do.

You notice a severe woman with a shirt that says MEDICAL STAFF holding a clipboard who beckons you to her.

Oh god. You force yourself to walk over to meet her.

“I’m Park Eunji, head of the medical staff for BTS.”