You fly first class to Amsterdam next to Jungkook, sharing headphones and switching between napping and listening to music. From the window, the city looks like a web woven by canal waters dusted in autumn colors. You update Nikki as much as you can. When it’s time to walk through the airport, you hang back with the rest of the medical staff. Nothing could prepare you for the bright lights flashing and screams, and you pull down your newly purchased bucket hat to hide your identity.

In The Grand hotel, a historic brick building surrounded by cobblestone, you flop on one of the beds ready to take a much needed rest day. It’s been nonstop since you joined the tour, hardly giving you time to adjust. Checking your phone, you see a picture of your dad in Spain on social media. Your mom has shared several vague quotes about the love between a mother and daughter. You close the app.

“I’m exhausted,” you say to Arahae as she puts her luggage away.

“I know. I think I’m going to crash. Yesterday was a lot.” She changes into comfortable clothes and cocoons into the other twin bed. She turns on the TV, and soon you hear her breathing deeply. Rolling over, you see a text.

JK

come to my room

Jasmine

how romantic

JK

just come here

Getting out of bed, you change into comfortable loungewear. You touch up your makeup, but not too much that he would notice. Heart quickening, you feel like you’re sneaking around at church camp as you pad down the hallway and knock on his door. Jungkook opens it and lets you in. He’s changed out of his travel clothes into sweatpants and a t-shirt.

“Since we have tomorrow off, I want to take you out,” he says, leading you to sit on the couch with him. “I’ve already planned some things, but I’m open to where the night takes us.” He grins, his mischievous side returning. “We’ll start with a private canal cruise. And wear comfortable shoes.”

You smile. “I think I can manage that.”

He pauses, looking thoughtful. “I keep meaning to ask. How have your dreams been lately? Any nightmares?”

Surprised by the question, you search for words. “No, not really. But they never fully go away. I can have a string of good days, then out of nowhere, I wake up pouring sweat.” His brow furrows, and you take his hand. “Thank you for asking. It means a lot.”

“Of course.” He pulls you close, cradling you into his chest and stretching out on the couch. “Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” You remember so many nights being alone, waking up alone. Fighting your demons alone. Those nights fade into nothingness, hurting a little less.

“Being here is enough.”

The tension in his face eases, and he kisses you gently. When he breaks away, his eyes glint with desire. “All this time and no schedules to keep us apart. I wonder how we’ll make use of it,” he says, smirking.

“I can think of a few things.” As he kisses you, you wrap around him. “Wait,” you say. “I’ve been wondering…How did you know?”

“Know what?”

You blush, forcing the words out. “That I’m submissive.”

“Some people have those vibes if you know what to look for. It’s not accurate all the time but pretty close.”

“What was it about me?”

“It’s hard to put into words. I knew from the first moment I saw you what you are. When I woke up on that airport floor, my head hurt like hell, but I could see straight through that nurse act you pull.”

You stiffen. “What?”

“You were so cute trying to be brave. You act all tough and on top of everything, but inside you’re dying for someone like me to tell you what to do.” He caresses your face. “Lead you. Protect you. Someone to give yourself to.” You feel laid bare. Your mind races going over the years it took to create that version of yourself and the experiences that shaped it. He saw through all of it in an instant. “I know I’m right. Say it,” he orders.

“You’re right,” you say softly.

“Go on.”

You swallow. “You’re right…about everything. There’s a part of me I created to survive, but it’s not who I really am. I’m afraid of it taking over completely.” Your eyes search his. “What if it does?”

“It won’t as long as you have someone to remind you who you are. Those parts of ourselves serve a purpose, but they need limits. You can’t let the world steal your softness.” He runs his hand over your hair. “I won’t let it.” As tears burn your eyes, you kiss him. “I know what you need,” he says against your lips.

Kissing him deeply, your tongue finds his as you press against him. His hands run over your thighs and squeeze your ass. You slide your hands under his shirt, running across his muscled chest and down his abs. As you kiss his neck, his breath quickens when you slip a few fingers in his waistband. He kisses you hard, the passion growing. You stay like that for so long that you lose track of time as you run your hands over his body and grind into his erection. His hands roam you, occasionally grabbing your ass and pressing you into him. Eventually, he spoons you, and with his arms holding you close and warm breath on your neck, you fall asleep.

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• • •

“He’s going to die when he sees you,” Arahae says as you adjust your short black dress in the mirror. Since yesterday, Jungkook has consumed your thoughts, and counting down the hours to this date was agonizing.

“You think so?” you say, smiling. “I’m so nervous.”

“Why? Use your charms and blow him away,” she says, waving her arm. “Or just blow him.”

“Arahae!”

She laughs. “What? I’m giving a little advice, woman to woman. You never know what can happen. It’s Amsterdam.”

You slip on a pair of thigh high boots with a modest heel. “He was a little cryptic about the date. We’re going on a canal cruise and hen he said we’ll ‘see where the night takes us.’”

“That’s code!”

“For what exactly?” You put on the sapphire earrings that match the tasteful pendant resting on your chest.

“There’s a lot of places to explore in this city,” she says, winking. “That’s all I’m going to say.”

You look over at her. “Did he say something to you?”

“Nope. I have a natural sense for these things.” You both laugh, and you forget how nervous you are for a moment. As more time passes, you pull on your leather jacket and pace the room. You touch up your lips in the mirror and check your false eyelashes.

“Jasmine, calm down,” Arahae says, grinning from where she sits on her bed.

“I can’t,” you say, taking a drink of water to remedy your parched mouth. “I really, really like him.” You flap your jacket to dry the sweat.

“Well, at least sit–”

There’s a knock on the door. You freeze mid jacket flap, your heart rising to your throat.

“Is that him?” Arahae asks.

“Yes,” you say hoarsely.

She gets up and pushes you towards the door. “Have a great time!”

Your hand grabs the handle. Opening the door, Jungkook stands in a black button down with a silver chain around his neck. His black blazer and pants look tailored to him perfectly. His eyes widen.

“Hi,” he says.

“Hi.” He holds out his arm, and you take it.

In the elevator, he stares at you. “You look incredible,” he says.

“So do you.”

He’s quieter than usual in the car. “So,” you say, breaking the silence, “we’re going on a canal cruise first?”

“Yeah.” You nod, reminding yourself how to breathe then overthinking it.

The SUV stops at a small port. Jungkook opens the door for you, and you take his hand as you get out. Walking on cobblestone to the canal under the streetlights, a sleek, luxurious boat with wood accents waits in the water. You climb into the boat and make your way to the plush seats in the back. There’s a door separating the driver from the back of the boat, and the roof disappears over the seating area, exposing you to the crisp air. A vase of roses rests on a table with a bottle of red wine and two glasses. A candle illuminates the space.

As Jungkook fills your glass, the boat begins moving and drifts along the water. Brick buildings and trees in bright fall colors line the canal. The moon and stars peek through a cloudy sky. Handing you a glass, Jungkook sits next to you.

“You arranged this?” you ask.

“Yes,” he says.

“Thank you. It’s beautiful.”

“I would do a lot more for you.” You blush, and he raises his glass. “To where the night takes us.” You repeat the toast as your glasses clink, and you sip the bold wine under the stars.

You decide to ask a burning question. “Have you always been so…” You search for the right word.

“Dominant?” He smiles. “I had to grow into it, but it’s always been inside me.” He sips his wine. “Just as you’ve been searching for someone like me, I’ve been looking for someone like you. That look in your eyes when you submit to me is heaven. I can see you going to a place where you feel cherished, and it makes me feel good that I’m giving that to you. It’s incredibly hot.” He pauses. “I want more.”

Fear runs through you until it’s replaced by excitement and curiosity. “I want that, too.” He leans over and kisses you. Buildings and trees glide by as you float down the canal.

He digs for something inside his blazer. “I brought a little treat.” He opens a tin box holding two joints. You smoked in college, but haven’t gotten high in a while. “When in Rome,” he says with a cheshire grin.

You laugh. “You’re full of surprises.”

He lights a joint. Smoke billows out of his mouth under the moonlight and rises into the stars. You take the joint from him and inhale. Holding it in for a moment, you feel a familiar burn in your lungs that brings back memories. On the exhale, you try a French inhale. Jungkook smiles and takes another drag from the joint.

You start to feel as if you’re floating. “I think I’m already high,” you say giggling.

“Lightweight.” You playfully shove him, and he laughs.

He holds the joint up to your lips. “This can make a lot of things feel good,” he says. You take another pull and blow the smoke in his face.

Taking another hit, he leans in close and shotguns the smoke into your mouth. You kiss as the smoke dissipates, your tongues meeting. You drape a leg over his lap, and his hand moves to your exposed thigh.

Breaking away, you lean your head back on the seat cushion and look up at the stars. Lovely tingles course through you as you think you can see into infinity. “Okay, now I’m definitely high.” When you look back, you catch him staring at your chest and break into giggles.

He takes another drag, his eyes glassy. “I need to know what you like.”

“I know what you’re doing.” You poke his chest. “You’re getting me high so I’ll tell you all my secrets.”

“It’s not such a bad plan,” he says. You smile broadly. He rolls the sapphire pendant in his fingers, grazing your breasts. “I already have a few things figured out,” he says, smirking. “Praise. Choking.”

Your thoughts glitch, his light touches on your chest electric. “I like a lot of things,” you say absently.

“Tell me what you like, Jas.” His eyes shine with hunger, and the command pulls you back. “You’re mine now. There’s nothing to hide.”

“Rope.”

He smiles. “Good. Tell me more.”

“Orgasm control. Begging.”

His eyes darken. He gives up the act of playing with your necklace as he palms your breasts. “Keep going. I know there’s more.”

“Sensory deprivation. But my favorite thing is…your domination.”

“Now you get to see what good girls get.” He licks your chest and pulls the neckline of your dress down. You’re worried someone will see, but when his mouth is on your nipple, you don’t care anymore. Small sounds escape you as he cups your breasts and runs his tongue from one nipple to the other. He fixes your dress and trails kisses up to your jaw. He kisses you deeply. “I know another place we can go.”