-Caelum: Later that night-

I was quite surprised to see myself laying on my bed. The nearby curtains were slightly opened, and the window was somewhat left ajar, prompting me to assume someone had brought me here.

The last thing I remembered was being carried around by Lunar and encountering Declan and Geneve. My sentimental request of them to remain silent to my brother still wavered in my mind, causing me to sit up straight, and stare at my bandage-covered arm. Wearing nothing except my loose black jeans.

How… did they wrap it? I thought to myself, squinting my eyes. However, the pain wasn’t as strong anymore, and I felt like I had been rejuvenated properly. I slowly turned towards the window and realized it was well past the usual time for bed.

I slowly exited my bed, and dressed myself in my white blouse. I felt well-rested, as if I had awakened from sleeping on a bed covered by thick soft wool that slowly pulled and drained all of the negative emotions that I built up throughout the previous day.

Yes, that’s right. I began to remember. A lot had happened today. My double encounter with the guy named Emory, as well as my breakdown caused by that mysterious lady.

Thinking about those things caused some exhausting feelings inside of me. I let out a deep sigh, relaxing my face, as if I didn’t care for those things anymore.

The same went for my worries regarding Vaelen. If he truly knew about this, then so it be. I could never force people to hide something like this from my older brother. It was an absurd request anyway. Out of all people, he should have been the first one to know about it.

Reason… I didn’t even know myself. Perhaps I felt a little ashamed of myself for not being able to stand up for my brother. Not being that person he could rely on, and see as someone independent from his own influences.

I felt that way for a long time.

I’ve always been the kind of person to not want to be restrained, or better said viewed as dependent by other people. I was a free soul, a free mind, and a free body.

Together with Vaelen and the others, we always dreamed of being able to actually participate in the Inquisition. Yes, we were naturally-born Sequencers, yes we knew about how cool we were going to be. We were aware of all of that, but standing right within that small, stone-walled room and being assigned to a Master…

…as insignificant as it may have seemed, I felt amazed.

This was it. This would be the start of something great. The start of the realization of my dreams and goals. A ‘real’ Sequencer…

…But then, why did something like this happen? Why did he attack me? I never knew him, nor was I the kind of person to initiate fights or the sort. Why did he have to make me feel like this? I… just didn’t understand.

He was the sole reason why I started to feel ashamed of myself. Not only because I wasn’t able to hurt him properly, but because I couldn’t stand up for my brother…

***

‘Oh, Vaelen? In all honesty, besides me… he may be the most talented Sequencer I’ve met so far’

Those were Lunar’s words, when we practiced my abilities.

The most talented Sequencer…

…why not me?

Am I not his brother? Do we not share the same blood? Why does he have to be so much more impressive than me?

I envisioned him, standing well over twenty steps away from me with his back faced towards me. I reached my hand out to him, but I couldn’t speak. No, he couldn’t hear me, because I wasn’t a worthy adversary to him. Someone he could consider his equal.

Emory’s words… Lunar’s words… my failure at the academy…

“Am I… really weak?”

Yes, you are weak.

“But, then… why? Why am I weak?”

Because you were born this way, Caelum.

“That’s… not true.”

Why is it not true? Do you think that just because you are different from other people would mean that you’re an independent person? That you wouldn’t need people around you?

“That’s… not it. I do need people around me…”

Then what are you trying to say?

“I need people around me, even though I am different. But… I don’t want to depend on them. I want to become my own person, you know?”

That’s right, you are your own person. Your own soul, right?”

“…Right. I am my own soul. I don’t…”

But that doesn’t equate to your strength, to your will, to your determination.

“My determination?”

Yes. You are a weak person. Accept that. Accept that you’re not stronger than those you know. You weren’t aware of this because you’ve kept your head in the clouds for your whole life.

You’ve been living a good life. Your ancestry is esteemed, you never experienced poverty, your mother is an ex-member of Luria, let alone a former important figure, and your true father is Emon Moreau.

Your life is basically what millions of other young boys could only dream of. But you weren’t truly aware of how easy you had it until now. You never thought you would get into trouble with other people because you kept your head in the clouds for so long.

You always went outside, played around causing shenanigans, ate delicious food, and explored Deneve. You never experienced diversity.

But now you did. You’ve been met with what it means to be a special person in society. Do you really think everyone would clap their hands for you and be amazed by your distinctiveness? Do you think they care about that? About you?

Look at you, asking yourself ‘why’ he hurt you. I gave you your answer, Caelum. You are weak. Not only that, but you are stupid. You’re a cloud-headed young boy who could never expect to be hurt for trivial manners.

They don’t care about you. That guy named Emory realized that the rich really aren’t any better than rats like him. He probably saw you as just another example of those kinds of people, and felt like giving you a good taste of reality.

“…Reality, you say? What kind of stupidity is that? I’ve lived my life how I wanted…”

Yes? Continue. Spit it out. Why do you think ‘I’ am the stupid one here?

“You just don’t understand…”

Understand what? That you feel convinced that you really experienced the world already? Don’t be delusional. You’re not stupid enough to fail to realize that you do lack the strength and willpower-”

With shadowed eyes, I firmly closed the window, cutting off that voice in my head.

No, I didn’t want to think about this anymore.

I’ve always been my own person. It goes without saying that a young man still had much to explore in his later years.

Yes, that’s been my case. I understood it. I didn’t want to cower, and remain depressed. No. I would not let anyone judge me for who I am. I never chose this life… I never chose to be born in such a family. I never chose to be a rich kid. Hell, I never even chose to be Vaelen’s younger brother.

But, I am. I was born into this world as ‘Caelum’. As the free spirited young man who loved causing shenanigans, who was always scolded by his older brother and sister…

…who was born into this world as he is. That is me, and that is who I was supposed to be.

Exactly… my purpose had always been to discover my inherent value and make use of it.

Reading on Amazon or a pirate site? This novel is from Royal Road. Support the author by reading it there.

Heh, in a way, I should be thankful to that piece of shit for hurting me.

I admit it, I won’t turn away from it, nor will I cry about it. I am a weak person. But that doesn’t mean that I will remain a weak person!

I will do something about it! Because otherwise, my inherent value would be lost!

My inherent value is the dreams I have, my goals, the moments of happiness, everything I ever wanted, all condensed into a small orb of light.

I will grasp it with everything I can because that is my purpose in this world! I will become stronger, I will become better than everyone else, and I will make them look at how great I am for being able to turn my inherent value into a behemoth of a statue!

Yes… that’s right!

“Hehe! I should visit that Emory guy, and thank him for hurting me. Because now, I will work hard enough to show him that I am better than him!”

“You will become my first stepping stone, Emory… the first wall of dozens I will need to break before reaching Vaelen. That is what I will do!”

I lowered my head, and began to chuckle to myself. I hadn’t realized I’d been talking to myself for quite some time. After brushing myself off from my sentimental emotions, I let out a deep sigh, and exited my bedroom to reach the cliff side behind the building.

As I approached the back door leading towards it, I noticed it had been left unlocked, meaning that someone must have forgotten to lock it, or something…

Thinking this, I shook my head and pushed it open anyway.

And right when I did so, I stood frozen in place. The fresh night wind breezed gently against the person who was seated on the wooden bench, embellishing their eyes with the beautiful night view of the forest and mountains. His long black hair gracefully and slowly moving along the current.

It was Vaelen.

He slowly turned towards me and began smiling as if relieved that I was the one who opened that door.

“Still awake?” he asked with a comforting tone. I chuckled, closing my eyes as I stepped towards him.

“Somehow, yes. I suddenly woke up from a bad dream. What’s your excuse?”

A bad dream. Strange, given how transparent I felt moments ago, I blatantly lied to him. I gulped for a moment before taking a seat next to him. He crossed his arms, and sighed, turning back towards the cliff side view. He most likely hadn’t noticed my bandages yet. And if he did, he would probably assume they were for my failure at the academy.

“I guess you could say the same. I didn’t necessarily have a nightmare, but my mind just won’t let me slumber.”

“Is that so?” I responded. “What is it this time? Don’t tell me you still feel guilty about me, do you?”

“Ah, no…” he stammered, a defeated, worried expression forming on his face as he averted his eyes. I silently stared at him, non-verbally telling him to continue.

“I was… thinking about the conversation we had yesterday. When I detailed my acknowledgment of your ideology, remember?”

“Of course,” I nodded.

“I still do, but it compelled me to wonder…” he began, turning back towards me. “…do you believe in God?”

I took several moments before answering as a closed smile tugged at the left corner of my lips.

“I honestly didn’t expect this question. I thought you would ask me about today and how… weak I seemed.”

He faced the view once again and lowered his head.

“I thought it’d be better not to ask you about it.”

“Why…?”

“Because I felt like there were too many things going on for you. That test was quite insignificant in the grander scheme of events anyway.”

“But that was the first time you ever saw me perform my abilities,” I responded, gently punching his shoulder. “What did you think?”

He remained silent in response. I squinted my eyes and began laughing, turning back to the view.

“Don’t worry about it.”

“No, it’s… I’m just a little overwhelmed with thoughts right now,” he responded solemnly. I sighed through my nose, and crossed my arms.

“Alright. Going back to your question; It is hard to deny the existence of All given the reality of the Temples that exist to represent their respective Gods. Additionally, those Gods are like planets orbiting the center sun, that being All.

I know about it. ‘All’ probably does exist, but that doesn’t mean I have to follow him.”

“Your reason?” he asked, turning towards me.

“Well, I always saw life in a rather absurd way,” I responded, slowly raising my head to meet the star-filled sky. “Questioning the existence, purpose, and reason for the Gods in their entirety is meaningless because I am my own person. I have my own mind, which gives me purpose and reason for being alive. Every human has an inherent value within them. That value also gives them purpose. And if that purpose gives them a reason to exist, then why would they need to find another purpose, in this case, God?”

I felt confident telling him this. The feeling of finding one’s own purpose through their inherent value felt as prevalent as it could ever be, prior to approaching him. Vaelen remained silent in response as if acknowledging my viewpoint, but I wasn’t done yet.

“Tell me, Vaelen, what purpose do you find in God? Is it because you’re curious about where you are going after you die? You don’t know about the afterlife, do you? If you did, you would have found a second purpose in your life, because that would resemble your ‘second’ life. But you don’t. So you don’t need to worry about it.”

“…Do you believe God is the source of our purposes?”

His question sounded repetitive. I already gave him my answer, but he asked this as if seeking validation of his own doubts in God through my words. In response, my eyes were alight with fervor, and I spoke to him with a voice filled with conviction.

“How can you believe in such an idea? I can’t seem to find the answer to that. I am my own person… I have my own mind. It’s not controlled by anyone or anything. I am me. So that must mean I am the source of my own purpose. See it as being reborn as soon as I’ve discovered my purpose.

I grew to dislike the theocracy because my ideology conflicted with the pre-established doctrine of this society.”

“And… what if you resembled the Devil?”

“What do you mean?” I asked, squinting my eyes.

“Let’s say, hypothetically, that you really are the Perished One. You obviously never chose to be the one destined to be slain with the Word of Yius. But if you were, who would you blame?”

“Life,” I responded. “I can’t control life, can I? Again, we all have inherent values. We are like billions of little specks of light orbs scattered across a dark canvas. The void that surrounds us is the uncertainty of life. If it is so uncertain, then why would I get saddened by unforeseen circumstances?”

This was strange of me to say. Yesterday, I had a full-blown breakdown just because I didn’t believe I was the Perished One. He didn’t know about this, nor did he know about that silver book, regardless of it being my Grimoire or not.

However, I didn’t have the time to properly consider my words. Therefore, I decided to push myself into my words even further.

“…Okay, that may seem a little far stretched. If you or any of our family members were to die, I would obviously get sad. However, at some point, I would have to overcome that sadness and embrace the fact that humans simply don’t live forever.

It is the same for your hypothetical question. If I truly were to be the Perished One, I would eventually have to grow accustomed to it. It is just like a dark void: All we know about the role of the Perished One is that it served to salvage humanity by being slain with that magical sword.”

I began to chuckle, slapping his shoulder.

“But, when? Where? And how? When exactly would the Perished One be slain? How would his life look like, from start to finish? How would he be slain by that sword? And by who?”

“…So you are an absurd person,” he responded. “You lean towards the unreasonable, illogical explanations of life.”

“Wholeheartedly,” I said, smiling. “What about you, Vaelen?”

“…I don’t know,” he muttered, averting his pupils.

“Heh? Really? I was certainly expecting a whole anecdote just like mine. You’re not telling me you have it less figured out than an absurd person, do you?”

He let a gentle chuckle slowly fade into the air, responding.

“We’re still young, Caelum. There’s much left for us to explore. Who knows our ideas may change.”

“True, I guess!” I exclaimed.

***

Minutes after our conversation, as we stared at the star-lit sky, I spoke to him once more.

“I do wonder where we will be when we’re older.”

“Somewhere, at least,” he responded. “Do you have any plans?”

“As in goals?” I asked. He took a moment before answering.

“Doesn’t have to be goals necessarily. It could be something you would like to do at some point.”

“…Maybe visit another country,” I responded, as I stood up and sat on the back support, placing my feet on my former seat. I know how big Deneve is, but it is all we’ve known for our entire lives. I want to know what’s waiting for me out there… beyond the boundaries of this country.

The unique cultures, and different languages they must speak as well. The different kinds of people and weathers, the foods… all of it! I want to know all of it.”

“Sounds solid,” he nodded. “Maybe you could turn that into one of your aspirations.”

“Hehe, world exploration definitely doesn’t sound bad. But it certainly does not weigh more than my dream of changing the world, as crazy as it may sound.”

“Such a big statement, indeed,” he chuckled, lowering his head. “And yet it flows out your mouth like it is nothing. You still haven’t told me how you will change the world.”

“…And you still never explicitly agreed with what I told you,” I retorted. “That we’d both bring a change to this world.”

“…Touche.”

“Even if it’s not you, Vaelen, there are undoubtedly other people who share the same kinds of dreams as mine. All they need is a strong enough statue to rest their backs on and fortify themselves to become powerful and strong-witted.”

“Well, I’m afraid I would have to put a stop to that statue from being formed,” he responded. I shook my head and sprung out of my seat. Standing before him with my arms spread in the air.

“You won’t! We will become too powerful and too influential! A new era will begin soon, and you won’t be able to do anything about it!”

He closed his eyes and chuckled as he stood up. He then slowly opened them and looked at me with amusement.

“Great spirit. You’re going to need it.”

“What is a leader without a great spirit?” I smirked as I stared back at him. “I was born to become one!”