-Caelum-

The same woman who I encountered in that weird nightmare was now standing right before me. The otherworldly sensation that always emanated from her didn’t seem to have wavered a tiny bit, despite my assumption that she must have been some sort of hallucinating projection of that nightmare I had.

She was standing with her hands folded over each other, looking at me with a closed smile, as if she had eagerly been anticipating my return. She spoke before I could process my thoughts.

“You see, I always share a fragment of your emotions at any time. It is like feeling the outline of heat a step away from a fireplace.”

I slightly frowned upon hearing her words. Sensing a fragment of my emotions?

Absolute nonsense.

A mirage. Yes, that’s what she was. My day had gone like shit enough for me to consider visible hallucinations actually being something I could fall victim to at that moment. Of course, I still wasn’t in my right state of mind. I needed to be alone, to be able to recharge my mind before contemplating my ability to converse with other people.

So seeing this person out of all people, if I could even call her a person, only made everything far worse.

Not knowing how I could properly vent out my frustration towards her, I remained silent. She then tilted her head to the left, squinting her eyes slightly.

“…What happened?”

As if the sound of her deep voice caused me to grow even more angered, I glared at her, my voice rising.

“Why are you here? Did I not tell you to leave me alone?”

She remained silent in response. I could feel her cold gaze penetrating my soul, however, I did not waver. She was not real. She was a projection… everything was just happening in my mind.

Responding to her silence, I rose from my seat, standing right in front of her. She was evidently taller than me, perhaps even taller than Declan. To meet her eyes, I had to tilt my head upwards.

“Don’t just stand there and proceed to ignore my words,” I spoke with a rebellious confidence… only for it to be shattered as soon as I reminded myself of that piece of garbage juice, who said something similar to me.

Setting my anger aside, I shook my head and continued speaking to her.

“Speak. I told you once to leave me by myself, and yet you decide to reveal yourself to me.”

She took a few moments before answering, her voice taking a much more serious tone.

“How much longer are you going to hide your true Grimoire?”

…Right, that Grimoire.

I was thinking about what to do with that damned book.

Yesterday, as well as today, I would often stare at that book with resentment. It seemed as if that Grimoire had become the cause of my problems, as if it was because of it that I was hurt today.

Yes…

…It’s all because of that book, isn’t it?

Heh… hehe!! Right! It’s ALL because of that book! And this damned witch who claims to be my mother… she must be dependent on that book, right? Right?!

I grimaced, deeply frowning at void-filled eyes, as I spoke slowly.

“That Grimoire…”

However, I could no longer hide my anger anymore. I thought I could perhaps contain myself for some time, after being alone, but her appearance was like a final push throwing me into this dark pit filled with flames of fury.

“That Grimoire is false! It’s… it’s not mine!-”

I abruptly stopped myself from speaking, realizing I was fervently raising my voice. I seriously didn’t want to be visited by any of my friends… not even Vaelen. I didn’t want any sort of social interaction with them, so I tried my hardest to sound calm and passively aggressive.

“I don’t know where it came from, nor do I know who the owner of it is… but I do know that it is not mine! My skin… it’s just a side effect of my first summoning! Me meeting you was just a dream? You’re not real, nor is this Grimoire! It is nothing to me!”

“If that is not your real Grimoire, then… which is your true Grimoire?” she asked, unwavering despite my rage. In response, I summoned my silver bow, letting it flow right beside me.

“This! This is my Grimoire! The one I was born with!”

She placed her fingers under her chin, tilting her head like some manipulator toying with her marionette. That was the feeling I got as soon as she looked down on me.

“You seem a little dejected. As if this Grimoire is something you never wished for.”

“What the hell are you trying to say?” I retorted. “You don’t know shit about me. Stop acting like you do.”

I then held my silver bow in my hands, staring at it solemnly.

“This… I just need some more training with it. That’s all.”

“…Training…” she muttered.

“Yes, training! I may be the weakest, but if I train enough… I will most certainly be as strong as the others!”

I ticked my tongue, and walked towards the opposite side of the bedroom, to where the door was.

“Talking with you makes me feel like I’m going crazy. Who are you anyway?”

She smiled malignantly before answering.

“Do you want me to tell you who I am?”

Tsk, she’s gonna call herself my Mother again.

This tale has been unlawfully lifted from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

That bitch…

“I will gladly tell you properly this time, my Lord.”

“Stop calling me that,” I retorted, averting my eyes. “You’re just… a hallucination. A projection from my nightmare that just doesn’t want to disperse from reality. You could never be my Mother; I just know it.”

She let out a playful chuckle, responding.

“Well then. I came here to remind you of something.”

“Remind me of what?”

“That Grimoire you are resenting… you will need it at some point.”

“I said it’s not real!” I grunted, slowly bawling my hands into fists. She remained unwavering, and continued, as if ignoring my emotional state completely.

“That bow you’ve summoned… it is the extension of your true Grimoire. The second conjurations you’ve displayed were but mere illusionary abilities that stemmed from a fragment of your soul. Once you accept the Book of Desolation, you are able to gro-”

“It is not real… none of it is real. Shut… your fucking mouth…”

She let out a sigh through her nose, closing her eyes.

“I understand you may feel guilty about your brother. But you must ask yourself, would he truly abandon you if he were to find out about your true identity?”

“Shut up!”

As I screamed, I reached for one of my pillows on the bed and threw it at her with every ounce of strength I had left. It flew through her like the ghost she definitely was and caused her figure to disrupt and fade away like a mirage reflection on a water surface being rippled into a thousand broken shards as soon as a hand would wade through the liquid.

…Come to think of it, hearing Vaelen’s name in any sentence serving to downgrade him, or put him in a bad light always managed to incense me, no matter how arbitrary or playful it may be. The same happened with that junk earlier in the academy, and someone like this irritating lady would never, even in a million years be an exception.

Nevertheless, she was no longer in my room. Despite that, I could still feel her presence. At that point, I was already well past my breaking point, but it took this much for me to realize there was a second breaking point I now reached.

I dropped to the ground and hauled the silver book from beneath my bed and threw it on the mattress. With my eyes widened, I knelt, and firmly held the book in my hands as if I was trying to penetrate the outer covers with my fingers.

“This stupid book! This stupid fucking book! It’s because of you, isn’t it? Heh?! You’re the reason why I feel like shit! Yes… yes…! That’s right! All of it is an illusion! If I… throw it away… then I won’t be burdened by it anymore! I will get rid of it, I’ll throw it away!”

I began to laugh like a madman, weaving my fingers through my dishevelled hair as though visibly taunting the stupid lady who was obviously watching the madness unfold from somewhere. I then clenched the book, feeling its weight like a curse. I needed to get rid of it. That is all. As long as it wouldn’t be in my reach anymore, that lady would have no reason to keep bothering me.

***

-Later that evening-

Escaping the dorm was easier than I thought. After forcing myself to eat dinner with the others, I went back to my bedroom, changed my clothes into a white blouse and black jeans, and waited for twenty or so minutes before I sneaked my way to the back door leading to the backside cliff, and carefully slided my way downwards. The others were known to often spend a good amount of time together at the table, so I assumed they thought I was just going to sleep again while they could simply continue their joyful moments together.

I followed the outline of the cliff once more until I got to a cross section between the front side of the dorm that was connected to the large bridge on the right, or the left side, which would bring me deeper into the forest.

The atmosphere was noticeably different than when I was practicing with Lunar. The sky turned gray-ish as the moon slowly started to reveal itself. The forest was shrouded in a slight darkness that, albeit accentuating its charm, did make it seem a lot more unwelcoming.

Nevertheless, with that book strapped onto my back with my belt, I stepped into the forest with no sense of direction, hoping I would get somewhere far and deep enough to ditch it there.

***

I guessed it must have been over twenty minutes of straight walking by now. However, my labour seemed to have paid off. I stood before an old looking wall that looked like an ancient protection against outsiders, dark green vines and moss latching onto its weathered facade.

…The Great Eastern Forest?

Could it be?

I thought this was to be the case. If this was indeed the Great Eastern Forest, this book would undoubtedly be lost within its depths. And thus, I decided to climb the wall, grunting and folding my lips. It was thankfully not significant, so it must have been a previous wall of protection used to corner the forest.

As I reached the top of the wall, I took a seat, gasping as a sense of apprehension started to fill my body. I felt as if I was going to encounter some magical beast or anything out of the ordinary, but all I was met with was a vast landscape of high grass and plants, large enough to obscure the soil underneath completely.

This was undoubtedly uncharted territory. And because I, as a Sequencer, could now sense Earthen Beings, after being met with a lackluster, anti-climatic crescendo, I shook my head and raised myself to my feet. The wind caused my clothes and hair to flutter.

“It doesn’t matter. This place seems far enough to drop it anyway.”

I grasped my book, and heaved it backwards in preparation. And with an overly dramatic movement, I lunged the book forwards. I laughed with a wide smile as I watched the book propel far into the depths of the forest, mentally cursing that annoying lady and venting out my triumph.

Sadly…

…it was short lived.

“Hey! You there!”

I gasped, and turned towards my right to see a guard, dressed in a dark green uniform staring at me with a befuddled expression.

…Fuck!

With widened eyes, I surveyed my surroundings. I was standing on top of a wall that was connected to a large, stone gate. This must have been one of the entrances to the forest. But it was protected for a reason, and seeing someone, dressed in a loose white blouse standing on top of a wall would only raise alarms to a guard on duty.

I had to get out of there.

I could retreat back to the forest, but I wouldn’t be able to return to the dorm, at least for a good amount of time. I would have to aimlessly run away from the guards into the depths of the forest until they would get tired out and give up. What would I do at that point? How would I know the way back to the dorm?

That’s right, I couldn’t do something as mindless as that!

I had to blend in with the people somehow. I look young, so the guard must think I’m some sort of delinquent who felt a little mischievous.

Right! I need to…

I ticked my head to the right, and saw that the gate was connected to the stone land leading back to the Inquisition. I would only need to outrun the guard and somehow blend in with a group of people…

…Go there!

I ran across the top of the wall, every step taken mingling with haggard breaths. The guard attempted to follow my trail, but felt shockingly surprised upon watching me leap over him onto the surface. Following my impressive landing, I raced towards the populated area.

There was a stone fountain surrounded by standalone houses, which allowed me to escape through one of the alleys. However, even if I did, it would still leave behind a huge hint for the guard to continue trail me.

As I contemplated my options, the footsteps of the guard suddenly came to a halt, and I felt a brimming heat caress my back…

I turned around, and beheld a large wall of flame right in front of me.

Who… what?!

Not able to process what was going on, I stared at the wall for several seconds until I realized this was my chance to get away. As I stumbled backwards, I could hear a distant voice reaching out to me.

“Oi, you twink!”

I slowly followed the source of that voice…

…Right, it was the same voice I heard earlier today.

Standing at the threshold of one of the alleys, was the same person who hurt me at the academy, dressed in a gray blouse.

I slowly frowned in an angered silence. What the hell was he doing here? And why was he helping me? My mind screamed not to trust him, but I had no other choice. The guard was closing in, and the wall of fire… was that his doing?

He took a step forward and signalled me to follow him.

“My wall won’t last forever. You either save yourself from the trouble or be stupid and get caught.”

…He was right.

This was my only chance to escape the guard.

Everything aligned for a prompt moment in order to give me leeway.

I shook my head and decided to turn delusional for a moment. After glancing at the wall of fire one final time, I ran and followed his trail into the alley.