I couldn’t fathom how long I have slept….

…nor how long I have been staring at the unfamiliar ceiling after waking up.

My mind simply didn’t want to process what had happened…

Looking around in this new, spacious and unfamiliar room I soon realized that several servants would occasionally go in and out of the room to change my clothes and feed me.

Thus sometimes making me sit up from my bed as I wanted to ask what had happened to my people….

I wanted to ask what happened to my… family.

But I… didn’t want to find out…

Rather… I was afraid to find out the result of the aftermath….

So I hesitated and lost my chance to ask several times.

This repeated until the light piercing through the curtains turned a bright shade of red.

Much like…. The shade the palace was engulfed in.

Thus the sun had set prompting for my bed time, resulting in the servants to leave one by one.

As soon as the last servant went out, I proceeded to hug my knees as I cried my eyes out silently.

Because…. That was the only way a kid like me can afford to comfort themselves.

“I shouldn’t have let my guard down… I really shouldn’t have trusted others……” Like a mantra I started to lament on my situation.

“I shouldn’t have gotten close to them…. I should’ve stayed very far away… I could’ve just watched the scenes…. Why? Just why… not again…. Not again…”

‘Eh…?’ I suddenly froze as I saw flashes of memory that soon started to clench at my head the more I try to ‘see’ it clearly.

‘What do I mean… not again…?’ I looked blankly at this dark room’s end not knowing where the corners were anymore, as my mind could no longer afford to process complicated things for the time being.

Tightly hugging my knees, I cried all night…. alone.

Once again, I chose to bury these memories of my past life on the back of my head so that I wouldn’t feel the sadness all over and all over again.

But maybe it was a sign of growth, because I just couldn’t bear to bury the tragedy that happened to my people in this life.

With my memory, I look at each of them as if I was reliving that very moment.

Every single detail is recorded inside my head, the smell, the sounds, the feeling, the taste and the sight.

'I could still remember it…'

The yells, the smell of soot, the cold breeze, the blood dripping from my nose and the horrid view.

I then slowly recalled the layout of the palace I once stayed in…

Closing my eyes and breathing calmly, I soon got sucked into my memories.

A case of theft: this story is not rightfully on Amazon; if you spot it, report the violation.

When I opened them again, I was at the hallway… my heart started to pound intensely like it usually does when I am viewing my memories.

Walking from the kitchen to my room, the scenery was as if the tragedy never happened. I could see the smiling staff as they were doing their daily chores…

Just that… they look like they have stopped while in motion.

‘This is just my memory after all.’ Briefly looking at them one more time, I then proceeded down the hall.

As I made it to my room I could feel my heart beating faster as I slowly opened the door

To my relief I was shown the familiar pearly marbled hair that was shining due to the Mana core inside the fancy chandelier propped on the ceiling in the middle of my room, Opheli was tucking me in.

As Olizia was reading a bed time story, calmly pulling back her purple ochre hair as she smiled and laughed at Opheli’s dorkiness.

Feeling a bit relieved as I didn’t see them lying on the floor the moment I opened the door.

‘I need time to brace myself from that horrid scene after all….’

But as soon as I thought that, the scene changed thus prompting me to blink.

As soon as I did, I then I started to hear their voices like it was a pre-recorded mp4….

Playing again…

.

.

.

.

.

And…

.

.

.

Again….

I turned around slowly as I felt my heart beating way faster than when I first entered my memories.

Finally facing the scene, I then saw Olizia hugging Opheli.

While a Magic core powered lamp was shattered near them, spreading its blazing fires onto the nearby carpets.

Looking closely now, I could see a large wound on both of them.

I wanted to seriously puke but… ‘I shouldn’t…’

Barely holding back my churning stomach from spilling the dinner I ate earlier, I proceeded to blink again causing the scene to change.

As the scene changed I then turned around again to see Hodur, the surrounding fires illuminating his orange hair.

Hodur was crushing the assassin and at the same time being stabbed multiple times in the back by the said assassin that was desperately struggling from his very grip...

Slowly, I went towards the assassin as a foreign yet familiar feelings began to boil within me.

Trying my best to calm down, I then blinked and looked closely at the assassin’s face and…

‘I was right…. it was indeed one of the staff that has been with me…. I really should’ve been more careful.’

Confirming my suspicions, I then looked towards the secret passage and saw my very self reaching my hand out while Selina was rushing to get me out from there.

Turning back one last time to take a glance at the scene within my room, I made my way towards the secret passage.

Moving forward, as I follow the stop motion ‘images’ of Selina carrying myself, I then clearly notice the slight changes in her expression bit by bit as we slowly get near the exit of the passageway.

Finally making out of the passage, I could then see the gardens again.

The once was beautiful gardens, ruined by the attack are now in horrid tatters as the perfectly pruned plants were either burned or damaged.

Looking at the direction of the metals clashing over the hedge of flowers, I could see Urt’s distinguishable hat and Joreh’s shovel with his initials on it.

The scene then changes and I then could clearly see the King, yet his face felt blurry…

…Or rather, his face was casted by a shadow created by the burning palace behind him as he tried to stop my very self in that scene.

Making it harder for me to figure out just what kind of expression he had when he was stopping me.

I then went closer to try and see the King’s expression..

But as soon as I tried to peak closer at the King, my head started to hurt badly as the surroundings started to twist and turn.

The last thing I could remember was a melody…

The same melody the woman had sung for me seemed to be coming from the burning palace….

‘It sounds…’

…almost like a farewell.

I then turned towards the burning castle while clenching my hand and then woke up from ‘remembering’.

‘I guess that was my limit…’

I could still hear my heart beating really fast and feel the sweat dripping from my forehead.

It was getting really harder to breathe.

I couldn’t think straight maybe due to the lack of oxygen or something else.

Resulting for me to slightly panic and thus clenching my head tightly in hopes to calm myself, as everything felt as if it had turned black and murky… like drowning in a puddle of mud.

Then when everything was drowned in a loud tinnitus, the last part of the ‘memory’ seems to resound within my ears.

Having no choice left, I quickly decided to hum the melody that I once heard.

Slowly, I started to calm down and gradually remember the melody’s full version.

Humming myself to sleep, I decided to face another day in this cruel Otome game world or rather now, my reality.