“G-g-g-good—”

I smile with a mix of amusement and nostalgia as the youngest Teppin makes a spectacle of herself in the doorway of our stolen bedroom while trying to greet us. I have a feeling that she’s a nervous girl by nature. Being in the same room as the women that slaughtered her family’s knights and humiliated said family certainly can’t help that disposition, but I think what’s rendered her incapable speech is our state of dress. Or undress, as it were.

No one in my household is particularly shy. When it comes to our sleeping habits, we lean toward less rather than more. Poor Leeona was elected to fetch us for breakfast, from what I can smell, and her simple task is being complicated by an eyeful of scandalous sights. Alana is the most conservative and her nightgown is plenty provocative. The young woman doesn’t know where to look but doesn’t dare run from the uncomfortable situation and the duties foisted onto her by my succubus.

“Good morning,” I say for her while sitting up. Leeona squeaks like a startled mouse as the blanket around me falls, exposing me from the waist up. I ignore her reaction as I climb over Alana to escape the bed.

This reminds me of when I took Kierra to the Tome estate in the capital. We flustered another servant then, a woman sent to fetch us for breakfast just like the poor girl shaking like a rabbit before a room full of wolves, though they are flustered in entirely different ways. That woman did a lot more staring while Leeona’s eyes are covered by her hands. I doubt they’re going to move anytime soon.

“I assume you came to get us for breakfast.”

“Ah, uh, y-yes. Er, my lady!”

No wonder Lord Teppin is so wary of jeopardizing his title. His family is woefully incapable of surviving as anything other than pampered nobility. Her survival rests on playing the part of a competent servant and this is the best she can manage. Ah, well. She’s lucky I’m doing this out of a twisted sense of humor rather than a truly vengeful spirit.

“We’ve been notified.” I chuckle when she doesn’t move. “That means you can go now.”

“O-oh! Right. Pardon me.” She yelps as her first attempt to back out of the room is foiled when she stumbles into the doorway. I almost shout for her to open her eyes after she fails the second time, but she manages on her third try, almost tripping over her own feet as she retreats into the hall.

“At least someone in the Teppin family is enjoying our occupation,” I snicker as I search for something to wear. On a hunch, I pull open a dresser drawer and am not at all surprised to find my own clothes inside. Life with succubi.

“Or you just traumatized her,” Alana grumbles into a pillow, showing no intention of getting up besides her groggy response.

“Honey, please. You’ve seen me without a shirt.” Her seeing me disrobed should be considered charity. Practically a saintly act.

“I’m sure it makes up for you barging into her home and murdering men she might have known for years.”

I pause in pulling up a pair of pants to look at her over my shoulder, eyes narrowed. If it were anyone else, I’d think that was disapproval in her voice. Perhaps she does disapprove. Alana may understand the necessity of violence and death, but she’s never been a fan of it.

“Imagine how much worse she’d feel if she had to serve an ugly bastard and she walked in on him bare-chested.”

“Small mercies,” Alana grumbles, still without raising her head.

“The sight of you is worth a thousand tragedies, my love,” Kierra calls out, eyes half-lidded with sleep. My eyes are glued to her as she stretches, languid as a cat waking from a nap in the sun. The glimmer of her platinum hair and the flexing of her taut muscles is mesmerizing. I’m only released from her spell when she turns to drop sleepy kisses on Talia’s face, pulling the blanket up to cover them.

“Thanks. Don’t suppose anyone wants to join me for breakfast?” A groan and kissing noises are their responses. “Alright.”

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Despite my lovers deciding to make it a late morning, I’m not alone at the Teppin’s dining table. Rey is busying herself setting the table while Leeona tries to make herself inconspicuous while standing in the corner, shuffling as she waits to be called on. Suppose she’s not used to being on her feet.

The lord of the house is also present, once again in his not-so-fetching dress as he cleans the windows of the rooms with a rag. Something that is still funny but is becoming less amusing by the moment. There’s a point of saturation where another man’s humiliation is nothing more than sad.

“Rey.” I crook my finger at the older sister after she sets down a plate of sausage. Her lips twist with distaste but she obeys the silent command, coming to stand by my side.

“Yes, my lady?”

A little too sarcastic but she gets points for a smooth delivery. “You were involved with the hunters?”

“Involved. Strong word for some basic training.” She huffs when she notices the demand for more in my gaze. “In Quest, there’s only two options if you want to be somebody. The guilds or the Hall. As I don’t have the required snobbery to be an acolyte, that leaves me with being a hunter.”

“Why? You’re the daughter of a middling noble.” Lord Teppin governs an important city. Not enough status to do whatever she wants but she’s set as long as she stays in Quest. Could live however she wants without getting so much as a callus on her delicate, noble palms.

“So what are you saying? A girl with a title can’t do anything besides throw tea parties and run a cute store with a cat sign over the door?”

“…that was very specific.”

My disbelief snaps Rey back to her senses. Her face falls as she realizes she just yelled at the woman who holds the lives of her whole family in her hands. “Uh, sorry.”

“Care to explain?”

“Would you even care?”

“Very little, but I have nothing better to do while I eat.”

“…I don’t even care if this gets me killed. You’re a fucking bitch.”

There it is again, that unrepentant audacity. Or maybe she’s just too tired to care. Either way, I’m incredibly amused. It’s kind of cute. Like a precocious child or a brave bird harassing a baker for his bread. A little thing standing up to something it has no chance against.

“I’ve already told you I’m not going to kill you. My solution is much more effective. I imagine Slaid is spreading the tale of the cross-dressing lord and his mighty duster this very moment.”

“Yeah, I bet. Thanks for making my father the laughingstock of the city and ruining our reputation forever.”

“You’re wel—”

My words are interrupted by a powerful force that shakes the walls of the house. I jump to my feet and pull Rey toward me as I strain my senses, trying to discern the source of the chaos, ignoring the plates shattering as they fall to the floor and the screech of Leeona’s screams as she crouches in a corner. There’s nothing to find and after a couple of heartbeats, the shaking stops.

Once I’m sure everything’s stopped rattling and nothing’s about to attack us, I shove Rey in the direction of her sister. “See to her,” I say dismissively while mentally summoning my succubi. They step into the dining room a moment later. “What was that?”

“A tremor, Lou,” Geneva responds. “I can smell fire and fear on the air.”

“Coo!” {There is a significant amount of distress coming from the city.}

“What in saints’ damnation is going on?” Rey roars while holding her sister.

“Nothing you need to be concerned about.” The question is, is it something I need to learn about? Geneva says she smells fire. I’d bet Lord Teppin’s estate that means an explosion. And what are the chances that a giant explosion, if we felt the effects of it in a house at the edge of the city than it has to be giant, has nothing to do with me and the impending war I’m in the middle of? Unlikely.

[Incredibly unlikely, my summoner.]

“Bell, help the others.” I can hear my lovers rushing about, no doubt startled by the shaking walls.

“Hey! Are you just going to ignore us?” my outspoken servants yells as the imp sprints away.

I wave off her concern. “Relax. Whatever’s happening is happening far away from here. You’ll be fine while shining vases or whatever else you can find to occupy yourselves while we investigate.”

“You fucking—”

“Lou!” Alana shouts as she bursts into the room, Kierra and Talia trailing behind her at a much more sedate pace, Bell riding on my wife’s shoulders. To my surprise, Alana isn’t wearing her armor though she is carrying her sword. “I’ll keep watch on the estate.”

Ah. Can’t believe I forgot. Someone needs to mind our servants and make sure they don’t run away. It slipped my mind because I couldn’t imagine them having the guts to try. Perhaps Rey might take the chance, but she’d have an Abyss of a time carrying her sister that is still shaking.

I suppose her father could help. I wonder if he’d take the time to change out of his dress before running, haha.

“Bell, you stay here.”

“You too, lily.” Kierra nuzzles Talia before guiding her to stand next to Alana. An expected reaction. Flowers aren’t taken to sites of possible explosions.

[The carriage is ready.]

What? How? Did the horses harness themselves?

[Close enough.]

…I should stop asking.

A strong hand caresses my shoulder before grabbing me by the neck and gently urging me toward the door. I can practically feel Kierra’s excitement as we set out in search of whatever new problem has raised its head.

“Did I not tell you, dedia? Trouble will always find us.”

“I still don’t understand why that makes you so happy.”