“I’m coming!” Alyssa shouted, as someone banged on her front door for what felt like the hundredth time. She snatched her cloak from the back of a chair and threw open the door, expecting to find the random member of the Hall’s staff given the unenviable task of hurrying her along to the impromptu meeting she’d only been informed about ten minutes ago. The servant was there, standing off to the side with an uncomfortable frown. The person responsible for the knocking was Lane.
She hadn’t seen or heard from him since the night of Lou’s party and was glad for it. She didn’t know how to face him, which was an unusual circumstance. Uncomfortable as well.
Victory was a blunt place. With death hanging over their heads, there was no time for subtlety. If someone was interested, they seized the moment. If they weren’t, there was no time for heartbreak. She’d navigated plenty of relationships and dalliances with confidence during her time as a Star, reassured that everyone knew where they stood and could handle themselves.
Lane…it would be a lie to say she wasn’t at least somewhat aware of his feelings. A little. It was all confusing with him refusing to say a single word or make a physical advance.
What she knew for sure was that if Lane did have feelings for her, he wouldn’t be able to take the rejection. That was obvious enough from the way he clung to her, preferring the surety of friendship rather than the risk of reaching for more. She didn’t want to hurt him just as much as he didn’t want to be hurt, so she left things how they were.
His spontaneous confession was not that unexpected. It had to happen sometime. People couldn’t hold in their emotions forever. She’d thought about how she would tell him she wasn’t interested before. Preferably, it would have been in her living room over a drink. Somewhere safe, where they could open up to each other without worry.
She might not want to sleep with him, but she’d known him for nearly a decade. Had watched him grow up. She wasn’t a sentimental person but if anyone deserved a little consideration from her, it was him.
The last thing she wanted was to yell out her disinterest before a whole crowd. Soft as he was, personality-wise, Lane was still a man with a man’s pride. And she had trampled all over it when pushed into a corner. A choice she instantly regretted and had been beating herself up over looking for a way to make it right. She hadn’t come up with an answer so, instead, she avoided him.
He looked like he’d gone through a titans’ bowels since that night. His hair was mussed, his clothes were torn and bloodied, and he had cuts over most of the skin she could see. There was a faint hint of smoke about him, but she didn’t see any evidence he’d been in a fire. Still, what she could see was bad enough.
“Alyssa!” She expected things to be awkward when they saw each other again but there was nothing but relief in his gaze. Relief and other emotions she didn’t have time to deal with. “We need to talk.”
“This isn’t a good time.” What was her bad luck that he would show up when Dunwayne himself had requested her presence? Or maybe it was his bad luck. Lane was obviously having a bad week.
Her eyes widened with surprise as Lane’s arms shot out, blocking the doorway when she tried to step past him. “It’ll only take a minute.”
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“This is really…” She looked toward the servant that was trying not to look impatient then back to Lane’s determined gaze. It was rare to see him get obstinate about anything. Her thoughts going back to his devastated look at the party, she pushed him out of the doorway but grabbed him by the shoulder before he could protest. “Come on. You, let’s go.”
The servant didn’t ask any questions and led the way. Soon, Alyssa was dragging Lane onto a carriage. The silence was tense between them as they rode off. She smiled seeing the man’s confidence crumple after getting his way. The sight of him wearing a sheepish smile while idly scratching the back of his neck was a familiar sight. “Well? You wanted to talk.”
“Ah.” He cleared his throat. “I wanted to talk about…that night.”
“Lane—"
“No. Please, let me speak first.” He sighed. “It wasn’t fair of me to ambush you like that. Or to get angry at you. I…I could have handled that better. I want to blame the drink but that’s an excuse. I was frustrated and I took it out on you.” He bowed his head. “I’m sorry.”
It was Alyssa’s turn to sigh, fighting her inclination to treat him like a subordinate and dredge up the consideration she owed him. “…I’m sorry to. I could also blame the drink, but I should have controlled myself. After everything, I owed you that.”
“You don’t owe me anything. Though I would like it if we could sit down. I won’t lie and say that I can give up on my feelings, or that I’m willing to, but I refuse to let the years of memories between us be thrown out like garbage.”
Alyssa chuckled. “You refuse, huh?”
“Ah, I mean, as long as you’re willing to, uh, yeah. I wouldn’t try to force you into anything—"
“You think you could?” she sniped playfully.
Something Lane didn’t understand from the way he panicked, raising his palms defensively. “No, no. Wouldn’t dream of it, bo—Alyssa.”
“You don’t have to push yourself.”
“Somebody told me that I didn’t stand a chance if I kept calling you boss.”
“Some women like things like that.” She didn’t know why she said it. It was almost cruel to tease him, but she’d always had a bit of a mean streak. It was too amusing watching him jump, like a startled rabbit. He wasn’t her type, not at all, but she had to admit the shy way he looked at her, gaze hot with repressed desire, was a little cute. Just a little.
“…do you?”
“Don’t think about it, brat. Just giving you some advice for your next crush.”
“There won’t be a next crush,” he grumbled.
She fought the urge to roll her eyes. Instead, she softened her tone. “There’s always another crush.” One last lesson for her to teach him. In fact, the more she thought about it, the more she liked her idea. The best way to get over a broken heart was to fill the cracks with new passion. “By the way, what happened to you? You look like shit.”
“It’s a long story. I could tell you over breakfast? My treat.”
“No time. I wasn’t kidding when I said this was a bad time.”
“I don’t suppose it has something to do with the fires last night?”
“Dunwayne doesn’t call a meeting for a couple of buildings being used as kindling. If the Harvest Hero is getting involved, it’s a threat to the kingdom.”
Lane groaned. “The last thing the city needs is another problem. To make my long story much shorter, all this—" He motioned to his terrible appearance. “—happened while I was attending a party thrown by the guilds.”
“What?! Don’t tell me you’re involved with that crap.”
“I’m not, I’m not. It was someone else that approached me.”
Before he could continue, the carriage rolled to a stop. Alyssa growled in annoyance. Dunwayne wasn’t someone she could leave waiting but she also needed to make sure Lane wasn’t mixed up in some mess. “Here.” She handed over her keys. “Go back to my place, get yourself cleaned up. We’ll talk whenever this is finished.”
He hesitated but he eventually took them. “Thanks.”
“You don’t need to thank me over something like this.” She threw open the door of the carriage but paused before hopping off. “I’m glad you came to me,” she grumbled. If it had been left to her, they might not have ever talked again, as she would have thought it the decent thing to leave him alone to lick his wounds. She was glad things had turned out differently.