Without Bell to guide me, I’d be hopelessly lost on my own property.

Well, it’s more Kierra’s property than mine and it’s really more the Grand Hall’s than hers, but we live here so meh. The Hall has an entire area of the island dedicated to the housing of its preferred members of staff. Just past the markets and right before the main buildings, quite the ideal location. And the estates are generous, three-story homes with enough land to ignore the fact that we have neighbors.

From the short jaunt down our street we took when we moved in, most don’t do much with the space besides hiring someone to keep the grass manicured and a few flower bushes growing. Not my elven bride.

The front gardens are decoys, duplicates of the mundane two-inch grass and pretty flowers of everyone else. There is a small pavilion for when she takes tea breaks outside and another area marked for a fountain. If I hadn’t intervened, it would be a statue of a buxom woman in one of the many provocative poses Kierra dreamed up, curtesy of Bell’s earth affinity.

Really, those people have no sense of decency. And if we’re putting up statues of anyone, obviously Cosmo comes first. Only problem is we can’t find a suitably glossy material but I haven’t given up!

Things get interesting once you follow the main road leading up to the house around back. There are two more buildings; a stable and a gardener’s shed which Gajin has taken roost in. Our new servant really loves his flowers and spends his days happily digging in the dirt.

Warms my heart to see a bandit reform his ways so thoroughly and he does a good job. There is both a medicinal garden and an herb garden he manages practically on his own. Kierra praises his work often while decorating the house with his blooms.

But those are also decoys and not the reason I can’t look for my wife without an escort. Surrounding the estate is a wooded area. A small one full of young trees and easily explained away as a privacy screen. However, one wouldn’t know that from their size. Apparently, Kierra can accelerate the growth of plants. Haha, frickin’ pure affinities. Just wish a bunch of trees to grow to the height of houses in weeks. It’s so unfair.

And amid those trees is the real garden. The one filled with poisonous flowers, toxic moss, and deadly mushrooms. The one where there are no paths and the plants grow wild instead of in neat rows. The one where one wrong step can get someone killed and why I don’t dare go searching for her on my own. The plants won’t kill me but if I so much as trample the wrong leaf, Kierra gets annoyed. Not a good time.

Bell leads me to the base of a tree and points up. My wife is seated on one of its branches, scrutinizing leaves before transferring them to a small satchel on her waist. “Please don’t tell me this whole tree is poisonous,” I call up.

She smiles as she looks my way. “Not on its own, it isn’t.” The elf leans back, seeming to fall off the branch. Really, if we hadn’t been married for over a year, I might be worried seeing it. I don’t even flinch. As expected, she somersaults through the air several times before expertly landing on her feet without breaking a sweat. I clap slowly. “Amazing.”

“Could you do it?” She steps forward, grabbing my hands and pulling me into a hug I accept gladly, burying my face in her chest without any shame.

“I could do it. Just like I could stab a random person in the market. Common sense precludes both.”

“You still have some of that pesky nonsense left? Cheh. I’ll have to get more creative in your training.”

“How does one tie in to the other?”

“Once you’ve suffered enough, you’ll stop caring about how the world sees things.”

“Are you speaking from experience?”

“No, elves are born degenerates. At least in my family.” We chuckle together, Kierra squeezing me tighter. “You’re in a better mood.”

The story has been illicitly taken; should you find it on Amazon, report the infringement.

“What do you mean? I’m in the arms of my beautiful and loving wife, how could I be anything but jovial?”

“Hm. Are you sweet-talking me so I’ll deal with your prince? It’s been a long time since I’ve assassinated someone but I’m game for the challenge.”

What is wrong with you people and the killing!? Why is it always the first thing you all think of? Saints, if I save Samuel from his supposed friend, I might have to save him from my lovers next.

“No, I don’t want you killing anyone. I’ve got a basic plan to deal with him. One where he doesn’t die with my limited involvement. With any luck, I can foil this stupid plot without anyone ever knowing I knew about it.”

“Mm, good. You get so irrational when royalty gets involved.”

I shiver. “They’re my weakness. But I am done worrying about it. Nope, not talking about it anymore. How are you? You seem to be really settling in here.”

Kierra pulls me, putting her back to the tree she’d been monkeying around in before dropping to the ground and settling me in her lap. “I am. Reminds me when I was put in charge of my first team. I certainly don’t lack for things to do. If anything, I have too many options.”

“Too many?”

“Besides being a Foundation teacher, I have been invited to teach Monster Hunting, Tracking and Trapping, Alchemy with a focus on medicinal plants, Health, Dueling, Strategy and Command, Interracial Studies, and have been invited to a number of different research teams.”

“Wow. That’s…a lot. They missed a few.”

“Oh?”

“Foraging and Trail Cooking cause I have seen you make meals out of some crazy things. Definitely Interrogation. Wait, they can’t be that forward about it, can they? Um, maybe Persuasive Questioning? I don’t know. Butchery or maybe Dismantling? Taking apart magical creatures isn’t the same as chopping up pigs. I’d say Seduction but that is the last thing this country needs.”

“I am a talented woman.”

Absolutely no shame or hesitation as she says it. “I love you.”

“Love you too, dedia. While I enjoy being appreciated, their attempts to bring me into their many camps is a little exhausting.”

Hm? I thought I heard something in her tone. “Someone in particular?” Do I need to test out my assassination skills? They’re probably terrible but I bet Geneva’s are awesome.

“You’d love to kill him, I bet.”

“Don’t tell me it’s that bald bastard?” I might have criticized their propensity for lethal measures but please let me destroy him. I will pay good gold for the pleasure. “I thought the two of you… got along.” You love throwing it in my face.

“Teasing you aside, I do not care for the man. He seems rather insistent on becoming closer than I’d care for. It goes beyond the regular fascination.”

“Are you trying to say you think he’s fallen for you?” Doesn’t change anything if he claims to be in love. I will step on his heart with relish. Probably laugh while I do it.

“No. Hm, how to say it…more like I am a prized bounty he is hunting down. Obsession rather than affection, I think.” She waves a hand dismissively. “Never mind. The burden of enduring his attention has become too heavy for his usefulness to bare. No need to think of him.”

Oh, no. He won’t escape my revenge that easily. But I’ll be sure to hit him with his broken heart at every available opportunity. Maybe some very public affection next time we’re all together, hehe. If she’s done teasing me, I’m sure Kierra will be happy to join in.

“That is a very sly look, Lou.”

“That’s because I’m scheming.”

“Not your greatest talent.”

“Hey!”

She chuckles. “I must say, I am enjoying our time in the human continent more than I thought I would. I had my doubts about this country that isn’t covered in forest but I can see a future here. Once your initiate year is over, I’ll focus on the advanced Foundation classes. Take a few disciples like the other teachers.”

“Disciples, huh? I’m not enough anymore?”

“You’re plenty but there’s only one of you. Besides, nobles have standing forces, don’t they? You have servants but are quite lacking in soldiers.”

“…you want to personally train my future knights?”

“Who else could I trust to be reasonably competent?”

“Aw.” I lean up to kiss her. “Though how are you going to get them to swear allegiance to us? If they’re trained by you, they’ll be good enough to hired by the king.” That’s a lot of gold and prestige to compete with.

“Don’t worry. When I’m done, they will know where their loyalties lie.”

Poor people. They will flock to her in hopes of becoming reputable knights only to suffer a fate worse than death. She’s going to do something truly despicable to them, isn’t she? And all so I have competent help around the house. Saints save them if Geneva gets involved.

I can’t wait to see the people with the worst luck in the Grand Hall.

We lay together, taking in the sun. Laying against her chest with her fingers trailing through my hair is wonderfully comfortable and a part of me doesn’t want to get up but…

“I need a shower,” I say regretfully, getting to my feet. “I’ve been running about all day and we just sat in the dirt for who knows how long. Hot water and soap. Ugh.”

“Coo~” Bell bumps into my leg and I instinctively pick her up. [Shall I wash your back, Master Lou?]

I flush at the thought of her and me in the same room without clothes. “Um.”

“Ah-ah. Not this time, little imp.” Kierra deftly snatches Bell from my arms, ignoring her hiss of disapproval as she drops the imp to the ground. Leaving her to walk behind us as she pulls me toward the house by the hand. “I’ll be doing that.”