Once we arrive at a particularly large silver tree with red leaves, the other elves break away to continue their celebrations. Kierra keeps hold of my hand as we go inside.

This tree home has much better furnishings. For one, it has actual furniture in it. The first floor is a meeting room like before. Two large couches sit on either side of a long wooden table, a bowl of fruit decorating the middle. Against the far wall are two square tables with four chairs around them. Fur rugs sit beneath each of the tables and woven tapestries line the walls along with the skulls of big game. The wall opposite holds a fireplace.

Wait a minute. This is a wooden house. Isn’t that dangerous? Maybe that’s not for fire. But then…oh, forget it. I’ll just ask Kierra later.

The three of us settle on the couches, Kierra and I on one with her mother opposite of us. She’s staring at me. I look to Kierra for some kind of guidance on how to handle this. My elf gives me a comforting smile and pats my hand. Then she stands up. “I’ll get us something to drink.”

“A lovely idea.”

Eh? Wait! Come back! Don’t leave me with her! Can’t you see the evil glint in her eyes? She’ll kill me!

And she’s gone, disappearing around a bend.

Leaving me alone with her mother.

I swallow as Morgene stares at me silently. What do I do? Should I try to start a conversation? Maybe I should compliment her home? Yeah, that’s always safe. “I’ve noticed the skulls on your walls. Kierra decorates the same way.”

“They are not decorations,” Morgene sneers. “We hang the skulls on our walls so those may know at a glance our measure as hunters. To not have any would be a disgrace on my family name.”

“Oh.” I tuck myself into the couch and turn away. Wah. Forget it. Should have known better than to try to put some effort into making her like me. I’ve got Kierra hook, line, and sinker. Who cares if the old woman wants to be crooked toward me? If she wants to glare at me the whole time we’re here, fine. Maybe I’ll get a nap in.

“Well, well. You do have a backbone.”

I look back toward Morgene. She’s relaxed, leaning back into the couch. “You’ve finally stopped looking for my acceptance.”

“Yeah, well, I just realized it doesn’t matter.”

“And why’s that?”

“Because I’ve already impressed the elf who matters.”

Her relaxed posture tenses a fraction. “Oh? You claim my approval doesn’t matter?”

“To me? Not a wink. I’ll try to get along with you for Kierra’s sake and because, you know, you’re her mother and I’m a generally friendly person, but I’m not about to bend over backward about this.” Only people I’ll put that much effort into something for is Kierra and myself.

Morgene chuckles. That’s exactly how Kierra sounds when she’s amused. “You’re right. My daughter is so besotted with you that my opinion will mean little to nothing.”

“Yup.”

“Which leaves one question. Why? What is it you possess that has her so enraptured?”

A troll’s cock. “My charming personality.”

“Charming? I would say insolent.”

“But we’ve already established your opinion doesn’t much matter.”

The caster’s fingers twitch. “Be careful. While my daughter may see something worthy in you, if I think you are less than worthy, I will eradicate you and risk her ire. Despite her bravado, I am reasonably confident that I can still win, even though it would involve deadly force. I am entirely confident I could kill you before she could stop me. It isn’t very wise to be so bold without her here to defend you.”

Seriously, woman. You are kind of getting on my nerves. Yeah, I have no doubt you’re powerful. I mean, you isolated an area of over 200 miles for twenty years. That’s ridiculous. But I was reborn from an elemental with a mana coefficient over 5,000 and I managed to grab me an elf who apparently can stand toe to toe with you. I’m pretty ridiculous myself. It’s about time I got a little respect for that. Might have spent too long with the trolls. “Who says I need her to defend me?”

Morgene gives me a condescending smile. When I refuse to look away, it slowly collapses into something more serious. Then her eyes become alight with a fire I have seen several times in Kierra as her cheeks become plum flushed. Her hands twitch as her eyes begin to glow, the sign that a caster is channeling mana.

“You seek to challenge me, human?”

“Mother, please.”

Kierra returns carrying a tray with four steaming mugs. She sets it on the table before distributing the drinks. “Challenging her is not in good taste…for now.”

“…are you implying that there will be a time when it will be?”

“She is the one I have chosen after all.”

“Hooo.” They both sip their tea thoughtfully, Morgene considering me over the rim of her cup. She seems far less hostile now. Is this how it is? You’ll be friendly now in the hopes I’ll put up a better struggle when you try to bully me later?

Whatever. Best to just enjoy the peace while it lasts. From what I hear in the taverns, relationships with in-laws are usually tense. Those stories didn’t involve death threats but hey. That’s what happens when you cross cultures. There’s bound to be some…unusual things to contend with.

I sip my drink, sighing in relief as the warm liquid fills my belly. The best way I can describe it is tea-flavored honey. As I’m drinking, I notice the last cup still on the tray, steam rising gently over the rim. “Kierra? Is the fourth cup for you?”

“No, no. It’s for the guest who should be arriving any moment now.”

Morgene groans in annoyance at this announcement. My hackles are immediately raised. Someone who this woman thinks is a problem is coming? I don’t want to be here for this.

“There is no point in trying to escape, dedia. You will have to meet them eventually.”

Them? Oh good, there’s more than one. Hmm? How did you know what I was thinking?

“Your thoughts are as plain as day, human.” This time its Morgene. Crap. I should have paid more attention to my etiquette tutors. Properly deceiving people is a basic part of nobles’ education.

A commotion at the door interrupts my worries. I can hear the echo of raised voices. My eyebrows go up but the elves in the room seem completely unconcerned.

The door is thrown open and a woman enters in a huff, a man following close behind. She is the same violet shade as Morgene but her eyes are a darker green, so much that they appear black. She is dressed in a dress similar woven from some plant or other, similar to the one Kierra wears, but what my eyes immediately focus on is the silver crown sitting daintily in her hair.

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I freeze. No, no, no. Why did you just spring this on me without saying anything? With that crown on her head, that can only be one person. The queen. The frickin' queen of the elves just walked into the room and I have no idea what to do. Damn it all, she knows how I feel about royals!

A glance to the side reveals Kierra covering her mouth with a hand. You little–are you laughing at me? You are! Oh, you better enjoy the moment while you can. A teasing war you want, a teasing war you shall get.

“All of you warriors are the same, overprotective muscle-heads. What could threaten me in the home of the strongest caster in the village?”

After her rant, the queen drops down next to her sister with a huff, the man who came in with her standing at the end of the couch. “Good to see you, sister.”

“It is my pleasure as always, Your Grace.”

“And Kierra!” She pops up again to move across the room, throwing her arms around my elf’s neck and hugging her close to her bosom. “Look at you! I heard you caused quite a stir today. There was supposed to be a modest celebration amongst the warriors for your return. Now I hear the entire village is out and about, breaking open barrels of wine. Something about a union?”

Her eyes move to me. “And as you are the only other in the room, I would assume you are her intended.”

Kierra saves me from my terrible attempts to form words by making introductions. “Auntie, this is my dedia, Lou. Lou, this is Marjoram D’Atainna, queen of the Violet Dusk province.”

“Feel free to call me Auntie, as this one does. After all, you will be family soon. Ah, the silent one over there is my consort Javil. He’s a little shy.”

Javil inclines his head without looking in my direction but I know it’s meant for me. He’s another hard one to read but unlike Morgene’s oppressive silence, his is more tranquil. He’s kind of cool. If I had to pick anyone here to emulate, it would be him. Pleasant, but unshakable.

“Well!”

My attention is brought back to the queen as she claps her hands. “Kii says she wants this ceremony handled as quickly as possible. That would be at dawn tomorrow. If this is going to work, we need to get the details hammered out as soon as possible.”

“Um.” All eyes in the room turn to me and it takes everything I have not to flinch under them. Jeez. Being close to royals is making me feel nauseous. “Forgive me if this is an obvious question but…what exactly is involved in this ceremony?”

Silence. Morgene shakes her head and the queen covers her eyes with her hands. “Kii, honey, my favorite little wombat skinner…you didn’t tell your intended about the ceremony?”

“I thought it would be more entertaining that way.”

I am worried. The things that entertain Kierra are usually violent and terrifying. Conscious of her family in the room, I do my best to keep my voice pleasant. “Kierra? Would you care to enlighten me? Please?”

She sets down her cup and turns to face me. “Well, first you should understand the word dedia. It is a shortened form of dedia’neda. Roughly translated to Common, it means ‘half of a heart’. A bit of the meaning is lost in translation. For us, it has a spiritual context.

“You see, it is said that the first elves are descended from the tree nymphs. The women bound to their trees longed to move about freely. One day, a powerful spirit of nature answered their prayers. It felt so badly for the girls’ weak bodies that could not leave their trees for more than an hour that it ripped its own heart out and offered it to them.

With its strong heart beating through them, the nymphs were stronger than ever, but their savior lay dying on the forest floor. The only thing they could do to save it was to entomb it in one of the trees. The Sacred Tree lies at the center of the our nation where that spirit still watches over us today. Every elf is pushed to grow stronger, as that is how we honor the gift of strength we were given.”

The queen sighs after a long pull of her drink that she grabbed when I wasn’t paying attention. “A fine retelling of our history. But if you could get to the part about the ceremony the two of you will be experiencing in less than a day.”

Kierra chuckles. “In memory of our great blessing, when two elves commit their love to each other, the one who proposes offers their heart to their partner.”

She goes silent, a big smile stretching her lips. I am really worried. That’s her bloody smile. “You don’t…mean that literally, do you?”

“Haha, of course not! It is purely symbolic. I wouldn’t rip my heart out and offer it to you. I need that to live, Lou.”

“Oh.” Okay. Good.

“No, no. You merely have to stab me.”

“What!?”

Her smile widens to a manic degree. “You stab me. Through the heart.”

“I can’t stab you!” I shout, jumping to my feet. “You’d die!”

“It’s perfectly safe,” the queen reassures me. “The ceremony is presided over by several healers and the blade used is as thin. Barely able to cause any damage at all. It is a symbolic gesture more than anything.”

“I remember my union with Kierra’s father,” Morgene says with a sigh. “Holding that blade as it entered his chest was one of the happiest moments of my life. There is something about knowing your partner trusts you enough to allow you complete control over their life, if even for a moment.”

The elves in the room nod in agreement while I am left floundering. No, wait. Calm down, me. It isn’t so bad. They’re talking about this like it isn’t a dangerous thing. No. I have to stab her through the heart. That’s always dangerous but not for me. I’m not the one who’s getting stabbed.

It would be better if I were. My heart getting destroyed isn’t that big of a deal. Why didn’t she…ah. Because it isn’t such a big deal. This ceremony thing means something to Kierra. If she switched our roles just to avoid the danger, it wouldn’t be pure, I guess. She really will risk her life for me.

Wah. Starting to see the point of this ceremony. It’s kind of romantic. In a savage way but that’s the point, isn’t it? It’s a real reflection of who they are as a people and what they value. Have to remember I’m crossing cultural lines here.

I let out a big sigh but I’m smiling back at her. “And you wouldn’t have told me any of this until I was holding the knife if they didn’t say anything?”

“Like I said, more entertaining.”

“Deviant.”

I lean down to kiss her but what I intended to be an innocent peck changes into something else as she grabs ahold of my head and takes control of the kiss. At her gentle urging, I climb onto her lap as she pushes her tongue past my lips.

This elf thinks that our life together is going to be me floundering after her pranks, scrambling to keep up with her. I can tell by the way she’s trying to dominate my mouth. But you’ve got another thing coming, dedia. This is one fight you won’t win.

With a thought, I change my tongue into that of a troll’s, chasing her tongue back to its domain. The rough texture brushing against her own is a promise for later, one I know she understands as she moans against my lips. That’s right. We’ll see how entertained you are when you can’t walk straight.

“Ah, to be young.”

Oh, shit.

I pull back from the kiss while reversing the change and turn my head to see the occupants of the room watching us. Even Javil, who’d seemed lost in contemplation, is turned toward us, a blank expression on his face.

I can’t believe I just made out with her in front of her family. In front of the queen!

Kierra is oblivious to it all. Just a little taste of her favorite troll has thrown her into a tailspin. Her green eyes are wide with arousal as her hands drift over my front, a low whining emanating from her throat.

Seriously? You want to do this right now? Your mother is on the opposite couch!

I catch her hands by the wrists and hiss through my teeth as I climb off her. Her arms jump as she tries to reach for me again, but I hold her still, staring her down. I wait until she’s stopped panting excitedly before I let her go. Kierra falls sideways, peering up at me through her bangs. “You are a wicked temptress.”

ME!? You little–oh no. She wants me to get riled up. Taking a page out of Javil’s book, I let myself go completely still, watching her with the patience of a parent dealing with a particularly trying child.

Kierra still smiles brightly, hiding her mirth behind an arm as her shoulders shake with chuckles. Little deviant.

“Well. I think I understand why my daughter is so intent on having you.”

My new tranquility is immediately shattered. Face hot with embarrassment, I face Morgene who is just putting down her cup. “Um…”

“Though I am quite surprised. To think a human would leash a kapitan so thoroughly.”

“I know.” The queen chuckles, setting her cup down. “When I first saw you Lou, I worried after your health. The stories I have heard concerning my niece’s appetites are quite legendary and I thought there no way a frail human constitution could keep up.”

“You have it all wrong, Auntie,” Kierra says dropping her arm over the back of the couch as she sits up. “I am the one you should be worried about. Lou is completely insatiable. On the night we celebrated our victory against the trolls, I thought I would expire from exhaustion.”

My mouth drops in incredulity.

“You shouldn’t brag about your partner so loudly lest someone is tempted to take her from you.”

“Please, mother. Having two women beneath her would only rouse her passions in her measure to satisfy. The spirits have mercy on us, I doubt we would be able to stand it.”

Is it possible to faint from embarrassment? My dizzy head is telling me it is. Frickin’ elves. “Please, spare me.”

“Yes, yes.” Marjoram stands up, clapping her hands. “I think we have teased your dedia enough. We need to depart. I must say, hearing the confidence of which you speak of her, I am half tempted to try your human out for myself and there are arrangements to be made. I will see you all at the ceremony.”

The queen moves toward the door, grabbing onto Javil’s arm as he smoothly steps up beside her. I catch a faint glimpse of the gold plated knights standing outside the door before it closes.

“And I have preparations to make.” Morgene stands up, lifting the tray. “Kierra, I expect you can find your way to the pool?”

My elf gets to her feet, holding out her hands toward me. “Yes. We shall go there now.”

“Very well.”