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"G-gheegguu!?"
"I told you to stop sucking on the bottles you d*mn mermaid! Now look, you're choking again!"
It was a mess.
After 10 000 years, there had come a time in history where every denizen of the oceanic folklore were fed up with what humanity has done to their homeland. First, the relentless crossing of one continent to the other; next debris from centuries worth of naval warfare kept falling down at their doorstep; and not to mention the whole fiasco with Iron Battleships squabbling with U-Boats in both Global Warfare.
Now, plastic bottles and plastic cr*p that could outclass five USS Gerard R. Ford aircraft carrier?
This - was the last f**king straw. It was time for a major protest from the ocean mythics.
"G-geugg! I-it's l-lodged i-in my g-gills! C-can't, g-get it out. Gaaaasp!"
"How many times do I have to tell you, that isn't a toy for us ocean folk to be playing around with. God d*mm it, I thought mermaids are smarter than this. You are the last mythical species I would expect to be putting random sh*t in their mouths! Do you have a fetish or something!?"
To summarize, every known creature, individual, or spiritual entity representing in folklore and mythology had marched up from the abyss of the sea, out of their safe realm of hiding. Just so they could start picking up the tons and tons of plastic bottles, plastic bags, plastic containers, plastic beer can rings, and whatever plastic junk that gagged their ocean.
An oil spill was one matter. God-level water entities could deal with it by breaking down the molecular bonds of the oils and converting them into the soil. Debris from dead iron ships from 1914 and 1939 could also be digested by the using spells to accelerate the salinity in the sea to eat away metal and render them into harmless coral reefs for fishes. They also make great homes for young ocean mythos who attempt to ran away from home. Sometimes as a secret base or something, but that's a story left for another Pantheon to worry about.
But the fact there is enough plastic waste that could essentially invade a country the size of Germany, this was more than their oceanic culture could handle.
"D-d-don't pull! D-don't pull! Th-the bottle's hooked onto my maxilla and hyomandibular! I-it's pulling my ejectable lips to a length I don't want it to reach! I-it's going to become stretched and saggy! Gugaagh!"
"What are you a f**king Bull Trout!? Stop complaining and hold still! I don't know how you got this thick bottle down your narrow throat, and neither do I want to know what you were thinking while doing so, but just shut up and breath! Don't make a Selkie do manual labour to this extent!"
The situation right now was to the point where all lines are drawn. Even the Greek Sea God Poseidon and Hindu Goddess Samudra were storming up and down the beach head, stabbing into one plastic 6L jug after another. All the while cursing in their archaic language to effectively hex plastic companies as we speak (warning: consider career change now).
There were hundreds of different mythological creatures and beings from different lore, culture, and religion. Normally, this mass gathering from different faith and pantheons would be a preview to a new global war among deities. Normally.
However it wasn't the case. The European Mermaids, Scottish Ashrays, Indian Apsara, Pacific Sharkmen, Greek Scylla, Norwegian Nypmhs, Scandinavian Backahasten, Australian Bunyip, Chessie the lake monster from Chesapeake Bay, Japanese Kappa and Snow Women, Nimue the Lady of the Lake from Avalon Britain, and so much more were working together to clean up the trash left behind by humanity.
Even a Kraken volunteered to help out in the collection duty. It was converted into a makeshift sorting depot, in order to categorize the different types of plastic bottles, jugs, and containers for more efficient processing. If these mythological creatures were going out of their way to work, they might as well get paid for it by shipping the tons of plastic bottles to recycling depots. The final paycheque won't be much (cent by cent), but it's better than nothing. Some Shintos from secluded temples in Japan hope to bring back some pocket money to deposit into their offering boxes (#DonateToJapanGods).
"Cough. Cough. B-break. I-I need a break. Gg-geghg."
"There is no point in having a 10 minute break if you're going to lose oxygen in the next 2 minutes! So open your mouth wider you idiot! The bottle is lodged in your esophagus too tight! Loose your jaw, or I'll dislocate it myself!"
Among the hundreds of mythological beings trying to sort out the inexcusable garbage left by years of humanity, there was a peculiar couple. No, they were not lovers. One was a Mermaid, the other was a Selkie (a seal woman of Gaelic Lore). They seemed to be arguing, pulling at each other's hair.
When really, the Selkie spent the last half hour trying to rip out a bottle that was lodged in the Mermaid's small throat. No, this was not an innuendo. At the 40 minute mark, the bottle had successfully been removed.
"Bugyaaahggaa...Aaaah...M-my gills can breath again! O-oxygen feels so good! S-sorry, I-I couldn't help it. Th-the new plastic bottles reminded me of the glass ones where my lover would put love notes inside and toss it into the ocean...I miss him so."
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"Liar. You're only say that because you're really a kleptomaniac and you want to keep it as part of your collection full of other human junk. Hence why you tried to hide it from the others by shoving it down your trout like throat."
"............... Tch. I've been figured out."
"The fact that you're still a worthless virgin tells it all."
"D-don't make fun of me! All the other mermaids have already gave it up for sailors and nobles lost at sea! I-I'll one day rise among their ranks and be queen among those fat tunas!"
"Sigh. Mermaids are such a pain."
"Said the Selkie who ditched her husband."
"H-hey! L-let me remind you, h-he tricked me first! H-he stole my seal skin, j-just so he could force me to marry him. I-if it weren't for my children telling me where he hid my precious skin, I would have never found freedom. "
".........Then wouldn't that mean you abandon your own flesh and blood."
"F**k. I never thought about that."
The Selkie turned different colors. First a deep red hue when she recalled of her first night with her 'husband'. Then she turned blue when she remember the sad faces of her children as she bid them farewell before diving into the ocean. Then white... because there still was a law amongst mythological beings regarding about Child Abuse Prevention and Treatment.
There have been open files the stack of phonebooks among those with a Greek lore origin. The last thing she wanted was to be the first Gaelic creature to be charged with child neglect.
"I-I still visit them every year, o-on their birthdays! A-and I still give them pearls and sunken treasure on their birthday. I-I've planned for their future, I gave them enough pocket money in case they decided to go to college and run away from that alcoholic father of theirs!"
"Yes, yes, yes. We all know Selkies are good mothers but irresponsible wives. They are brave enough to abandon their own flesh and blood just to be away from the man who took advantage of her."
"Keep talking and I'll shove this harpoon up your @ss."
"Wait! Th-that's a weather vane dragged in from a recent storm! Uwoooh! Th-there's one too many arrows poking out, it will rip through my pyloric caeca for sure! A-and I know for sure that metal plate resembling a land bird will not fit in my body!"
The Mermaid tried to avoid the upcoming invasion by hurriedly stuffing whatever plastic junk she could grab and shoving them into a bubble. She was using her magic to form hydrostatic pressure around the globe of this orb she rolled around like a lazy baby panda. Whenever she found something that was essentially neither crustaceans or shellfish, she would put it inside to be disposed of later at the Kraken sorting depot... Essentially, it was a magical garbage bag.
All the while, the Selkie woman took out her frustration by stabbing into the different bottles and jugs with her traditional ornamental pitchfork. In three strikes, she was able to collect more junk than a band of Boy or Girl Scouts working in the community. Don't tell them the numbers, or else they'll lose confidence and cry.
"Stupid. Cheating. Bastards. Seed laying. @sholes. Whore-loving. Backstabbers!"
"Uwaaaa. I-I'm worried if she's imaging the most vulnerable part of a man's body every time she stabs those bottles. Uwa-uwa-uwa."
Everyone was busy, across the coast that spanned miles after miles. If one shore facing East wasn't enough there were many more water spirits and ocean creatures already clearing up the West, and North Coast. The South was already covered by local animal spirits from various Aboriginal Folklore, so there was zero conflict in terms of distribution of work.
This epidemic with plastic waste had been going on for too long. The Ocean denizens all swore to never get involved with the affairs of humans, to keep their society hidden... but after 3000 years, they couldn't stand this annoyance any more.
What really got them off their metaphorical Barcaloungers, is when humankinds' new plastic containers for distilled water and food sunk to the bottom of the ocean floor.
Young ocean mythos can't go out and play in the seabed anymore without something falling on their heads. Even baby mermaids put all sorts of stuff in their mouths. Think about their mythological children, humanity!
"GEGGHGEGG!?"
"The H*ll! Stop stuffing random sh*t in your mouth you idiot Tuna! You're throat isn't a storage unit! Do you think you're actually a Pelican!?"
"Gge-geeggg! D—Daassaan...Daaaasssnnn... G-geuggg!"
Once more the Mermaid was found choking on another bottle for distilled water. This one was fancier than the rest as it resembled sparkling champagne bottles, only sold for less than 10 dollar a piece in the local grocer. With fine engravings, fancy handwriting style print, and labeled with numbers like 1867 or 1912...
... The Mermaid spent her possible last moments on the ocean shore, trying to write the name of the culprit that suffocated her. With bad calligraphy, the symbols look like D-A-S-A-N...No. There was no 'I' in the writing.
"...Sigh. Fish girl, roll over. Spread your body as well, and keep your legs down."
"I-I'm nggege n-not a dog-gg! A-and I don't ta-take it in this geeegg—position! Gasp! Cough! Gag!"
The Selkie woman, at the very least, was a considerate mythological creature. Seeing how the beautiful mermaid repeated her silly mistakes once more, there was no other choice than to volunteer her help again and save this poor creature. Maybe she felt pity, because of the recent population decline among merpeople... it could be the fact they breed outside of their race, but that detail was left for the Oceanic Mythological Population Census to deal with, not us.
Still, she wasn't a doctor, nor a surgeon, and pulling the bottle that was already half way down the Mermaid's esophagus (normal like humans) was a no go. So she used a very simple strategy.
The Selkie stomped on the Mermaid's beautiful stomach.
[https://i.imgur.com/JJvEwDZ.gif] Selkie Style CPR.
Do not attempt without Professional Selkie Supervision.
"GUBYAGGUUGG!"
A certain plastic bottle was launched into the air, with the same Newtonian Physics supporting a water rocket.
"Tch. I'm not a bad parent you know. I taught my two half human children how to save others whenever they choke on their food. It's essential to survive in this world dominated by irresponsible idiots."
"...Aag...aguuuga...M..more. P-punish me more! ♥♥♥"
"GEH!? WHAT THE F**K, ARE ALL OF YOU MERMAIDS A MASOCHIST!? D-DON'T HUG MY LEG LIKE THAT WITH HEARTS ALL OVER YOUR EYES YOU RECKLESS MERMAID!! I-IT'S SCARING THIS SELKIE! L-LET GO OF ME YOU SLIMY BOTTLE SUCKING TUNA FIIIIIIIIIIISH!"
In the end, the beaches were clean once again. With every mythological hand on deck, the shores of every continent looked like it was born right from the prehistoric ages. What would take humankind thousands of years to complete, was done in a day and fortnite by the hands of mythological deities and creatures.
...But we all know, it only takes the Summer Holidays to fill the pure beaches back with plastic cr*p again...Sigh.