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"That's our business in a nutshell."

"Y-you say that, but aren't you all monsters!?"

In a fantasy world that looked exactly like the usual RPG reality everyone enjoys playing from time to time, there was a side of that coin that nobody ever saw. We all know there are fantasitical monsters and we all know where they are. Much selection involves the classical Goblins, Orcs, Direwolves, Lizardmen, Ogres, etc (don't forget the Norse and Shinto DLCs).

But that other coin. The tail side of the coin. We never see what is on that other end. The other face that is active while we all pay attention to the Head side of things (adventuring). What do monsters do after they are defeated, ransacked of their gold and XP?

"It's a tough business, but it gets a pretty stable income. We pose ourselves as the bad guys and provide entertainment to your players by fighting you. It's that simple."

"P-players? Entertainment? E-even though I'm a Sorceress who graduated at the top of my class, I'm not able to follow your form of logic!"

In a stereotypical cave, there were some regular monsters that gathered inside. To adventurers, it looked like a long forgotten ruin of a lost civilization, full of mysteries and plunder. To the monsters, it was just another shelter for them from the burning sun and wet rains. It definitely beats a dark castle without a roof to cover from lightning strike.

Right now, there was a party of Orcs, Goblins, Direwolves, Ogres, Cyclops, and other myriad of beasts and ghoul that are normally spotted, and hunted in RPG-liked fantasy games. The only thing sticking out like a sore thumb, was this beautiful Witch Girl with big breasts.

Despite her D cups, no one seemed to pay much attention to them. Maybe it was because her pride felt scarred, she frowned while she watched them eat rotten bread and pickled eggs.

"Sigh. It would be nice to buy some pepperoni and some rye bread. Oh, and with some Camembert Cheese melted over a fresh fire. Hmm... Sigh, the economy has lost control of itself because of the never ending wars the players wage with each other. All the food prices have hiked up by the Dollar."

"C-could you please not talk and chew on your melting bread at the same time. Not only is it difficult to hear you enunciate words from things that sound very lewd, but seeing how long these pastries have expired is upsetting my appetite."

The Witch girl was part of a group of adventurers. Their goal was to explore a set of ruins (the one right now), and clear it out of the enemy. At first, the opposition of Goblins Archers and Undead Soldiers proved to be not too difficult. At most, they had some trouble in dealing with a Cyclops with a Club of +3 with Flame properties. However, halfway through the expedition, the party members decided to betray one of their own, tie them up and steal all their gold.

The one who pulled the short straw, was unfortunately this witch. Stolen of everything save her corset, stockings, garterbelt, and her chastity, they left her to die in the ruins that was still enemy territory. If the stories were true, Goblins and Orcs love to kidnap beautiful woman to bring about their next generation, full time.

But something was wrong in the equation. The anomaly began when said creatures found the poor girl all bound and gagged in scanty underwear. They cut her bonds and ushered her out of the cave, as if a child who overstayed her welcome.

This content has been unlawfully taken from Royal Road; report any instances of this story if found elsewhere.

If it weren't for the disastrous rain outside, she would have been on her way back to town. That, or she was too emberassed to experience the chance of running into the adventuring party who betrayed her. The Leader of the group, a Holy Avenger Fighter, was her boyfriend. Well, now Ex-Boyfriend.

"You should at least eat the pickled eggs. They were fresh when we last bought them and preserved them well enough in our special vinegar recipe."

"...When did you buy these eggs?"

"Last time we went to the NPC market to re-stock, it was 2010."

"The year right now is 30xx."

"Wow. Time sure flies fast when you work in a cave. Still have a bite."

"....... Meh."

Either she had suffered too much trauma from her betrayal, or the fact she was super hungry after going on a month long diet, she caved in and nibbled on the pickled eggs. They were surprisingly delicious, with a Jello-Like texture.

"We call it Century Eggs. One of the Gargoyles suggest we sell it as a cold dish appetizer and it's getting quite popular among the players. We've only been able to feed our mouths at the bare minimum with the profit we gain, no matter how small it may be."

"You keep talking about players, entertainment, and business, but as an adventurer, I clearly don't understand the workings of your organization. Could you care to enlighten me."

"Aren't you tired, after what your friends did to you?"

"I want a shower above all else, but I know it's not possible. The only thing that's keep me sane is that I'm not sitting here naked in front of hundreds of male monsters."

"On the contrary, our popular of male to females are 1:3. Most of the goblins present for roleplay battles are mostly women, but since both genders look similar the players won't notice. It would look bad if they realize they've been hitting girl monsters the entire time. They always think a battle of justice should be between men. Sexist @sshats."

"I agree. They're sh*t."

The Witch girl nodded to the Orc's explanation and continued to nibble on the pickled egg that was black and jello from being dipped in vinegar for God Knows how long. She was on her second and holding her third to sate her soft stomach.

"As I was saying. Our job is to entertain players who enter the this area of the gamefield. We pose as their enemies and obstacles while they fight us to gain XP. They normally loot us for hours, but they've been cutting that collection time by two thirds, we're running low on coins for the game and replaced all of our valuables with glass stone tokens. If only they read the messages in our pockets, they could have redeemed it for golden tickets in exchange for getting high-level items or special equipment."

"Heh!? I-is that why everyone is still stuck at the lower levels! Then the Top Five Warriors in the land that just recently showed up must have realized this trick and took advantage of it! No wonder they were faster than anyone to achieve weapons that their level could never apprehend normally! Those cheaters!"

"Now now. Don't need to burst a blood vessel for them. In order to keep the entertainment balance, the government has secretly added limiters so it's level restricted. They could acquire high level items, but they've been moderated to not be available for equipping until they reach the necessary level. We always think about the masses in business like this."

"Hold up. The Adventurers and I are always taught you are the enemy, that we should kill. I am sure that the weapons my former @sshat comrades used were 100% genuine iron and steel. So, if they strike you, you spray blood and you die. So how come everyone of you are alive even when I dropped that Level 20 Fire Storm spell in the center of your group?"

"Again, it's thanks to the government and the chains of weapon suppliers. We've agreed to nerf your weapons into foam and rubber. They've designed it so it has a sheen of lacquer where it gives the impression it's real. It's been installed with microchips that would make authentic sound effects whenever it moves or cuts things. It's easier that way for us enemy units playing the part. In the past, everything was real deal so our medical bill would spike ridiculously."

The Orc said those words while he was munching on his rotten bread. The Witch wasn't sure if it was a monster's preference or they didn't have a choice. It looked like it was the latter, as she kept seeing the Orc cringe every time he tried to bite it and chew it and swallow it.

"Why are you doing all this? This is hard work and being beaten around everyday, having your stuff get ransacked, your friends clobbered and bludgeoned to theoretical death, and being called the enemies of the nation. How can you live with all this."

"Again this is strictly business. It provides us with some fees to keep this housing up and running. With electricity being available, even we monsters need to utilize the expensive resources to keep up with player expectations. And."

"And?"

"Don't you think seeing the players earning a victory as heroes is something everyone wants. Just seeing them smile as they boast how awesome they were in a fight against us brings even us enemy roleplayers a sense of satisfaction. Out business philosophy is: Customers first."

Since that day, there had been a new DLC added to the Mines of Madness ruins. There was rumors of a high level Black Witch hiding inside of those catacombs, willing to put up an epic fight for future heroes and heroines to remember. And even if these heroes lost, all they had to do was leave behind an expensive century egg, and they were free to teleport safely back home.

The End.

"Hmm! These are so delicious! Please teach me the recipe for the vinegar recipe!"

"... In our line of work, staying inside an underground tunnel we could barely support with minimum wage – you don't want to know."

Again, business was business.