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{Happy Halloween 2017 !! Give me Cake!!... Ah... wrong demand (>/// ~~GREEN FLAME! ---------------------------------------- “Don’t talk to me...you lowly vagabonds!” “Surely, you understand the situation you are in right now, princess?” It was a world of fantasy. But there was no peace, not any more. The Highlanders of the Burning South had suddenly invaded the Kingdom in the Loving North, infiltrating through the mountain passes that have been known to be treacherous for travelling. How they amassed a large enough army to take over a city, and get them across those channels full of natural death traps and never ending pit falls, no one knew. But they were not standing in front of this one girl in the middle of a castle made of opal and sapphire. A once beautiful royal keep meant to watch over her people, but now it was half burnt to the ground by the flames of those Highlanders. The Princess was a small creature, a being with pointed ears and the size of a child. Frankly put, she was the princess of a Hobbit Kingdom. And these men surrounding her like hungry wolves were true born Giants who were raised in the harshest terrain. Maybe it was their natural genes that got them through natural traps and never eding pitfalls. “So, what will you do, little girl? I suggest you get on your knees and start asking me to spare your tiny people. Hah! Honestly, you’ve never stood a chance when we kicked down your front doors!” “Don’t laugh at my people. They are honest hardworking folk!” “Who thinks of nothing but having regular tea times, fine cheese, and drowning themselves in ale.” “I won’t deny that fact, but I will correct you we only have a taste for fine wine.” The princess who looked like she could be perfect to go to a kindgarten school bared her fangs through her eyes. She was no taller than the giant’s knee yet she stood her ground on the top of the stair case that lead to the main royal sanction, where her family and most closest members of the court were being held inside. Essentially, her father, the emperor, had just pushed her daughter out to stand as the last line of defense… @sshole. “Are you shaking in your boots, little girl? Why don’t you be my wifey and I’ll make you shake them even harder.” “Don’t be so crass. You’ve lost the moment you all set foot at our nationa’s doorstep. You didn’t even wipe you feet from the filthy mud of your homeland. At least wash your hands when you barge into our house!” The little hobbit princess frowned. The air was filled with smoke and fire, but what really bothered her the most was the smell from the enemy that blocked off her exits. Do they even know about personal hygiene… do they even know how to bath!? Was what she was thinking about right now. As if the giants Highlanders of the Burning South would give a d@mn about being fancy. He was already in his best suit – a bear skin hide he just killed about an hour ago. It was still fresh from the hunt that put his muscles into a sweat. If you stumble upon this narrative on Amazon, it's taken without the author's consent. Report it. “Any how, I don’t know how you people in the north submit to your conquerors, but let’s party with the best ale and girls you have! We don’t mind them being small, it’ll be fun for us. Ha-ha-ha.” “You will regret it. Strike us down and we will become more powerful than you could imagine.” “Hah? On what authority or power do you even have in that tiny body of yours. I wonder if it can even bear my children? Our children are usually born 30 pounds at the start! You better prepare yourself to take on the responsibility of my family--Bwaa-haa-haaa!” “Y-you have no clue about baths and aromatics oils, yet you understand the metric system!?” The princess shook her head of the thought that distracted her. Right now, she was in a pinch. Wrong move or not, these guys were ready to pin her down, rip off her dress and play with her all day long. Even if she was the size of elementary student. (note Hobbit ages range 120 to 250). As the heiress and sole protector of her kingdom that only specializes in fine dining and good living quarters, there was only one thing she could do. “Excuse me. I don’t have any pockets so this is the only place available for me to keep this hidden.” “Well what do you know, boys, the princess knows how to fumbe under her skirt!” The little hobbit princess put a hand under her long skirt. Period. She did it as if a child picking up the hem of a table cloth, reaching in a hand through a tight crack behind the refridgerator. She then pulled it out. "Oh. So you’re into that kind of play, eh, princess. You northerners have too much time on your hands to mess around with your toys!” “Please don’t misunderstand. This is called a flare gun.” The princess of the hobbit kingdom pull out an object that was bigger than her hand. It was 5 inches in length with a curved handle and a cylindrical barrel. Essentially, it was an emergency flare gun. And she aimed it up to the sky. “Any last words?” “… HA-HA!” “Very well!” The second the princess pulled the trigger, a brilliant red flare shot up into the sky. All the giants in the city invading the keep all stopped to look up… adoring the bright lights. Then. *BANG BANG!* “GEH!? WH-WHAT DID YOUR PLEASURE TOY DO TO THEM, YOU B*TCH!” “I TOLD YOU IT’S CALLED A FLARE GUN!” The giant leader of the Highlanders of the Burning South watched as his men popped fresh holes into their skull and they kelled over. More sounds of what appears to be high-powered crossbow fired from confinded gunpowder sounded out, and they whizzed past the princess to strike down the giant’s soldiers in waves. They weren't exactly crossbows, but Colt M4A1 Carbines and FN Herstal SCAR-L Assault Rifles. The shots came through the doors and windows of the final keep that the princess was standing in front of, the wooding and glass cracked completely to reveal long black iron barrels. They flashed sparkling light and more sharp bullets leapt out to pierce through the tought hide of the giant soldiers dominating the castle fortress. Next, steel rope fell down and people started to slide down to deploy across the war-torn battlefield. They weren't hobbits, they were just too tall. Neither were they giant reinforcements, they were too short compared to the invaders. No. They were classified as human soldiers, armed with bullet proof vests and wielding gas-magazine rifles with holographic hybrid scopes. Helicopters filled the sky, spitting out trails of anti-armor bullets and iron tanks prowled the roads, firing on anything big and walking higher than the tallest hobbit building. They all carried the symbol of a peculiar banner: the oddly shaped stars and stripes. Soon, the invaders were invaded (invasion-ception). “WAIT A SECOND! YOU DON’T HAVE AN ARMY! YOU’RE ALL JUST PUNY FOLKS WHO DO NOTHING BUT STUFF YOUR FACES WITH TEA, BREAD, AND ALE!” “I-I won’t deny the fact that our fine dining and living culture has rendered us completely defenseless, b-ut don’t underestimate a Hobbit’s ability to make friends in high places!” Especially when the defenders supporting the princess, were the 23rd Marine Corp of the United States of America from the other side of an interplanetary gateway. “H-HOW ADVANCED ARE YOU BREAD SUCKERS!?” “KKKKKKKKKK! SHOOT HIM! SHOOT THIS VAGABOND IN THE BALLS! CUT OFF HIS FAMILY LINE!” “GUWOOOOH! WH-WHEN DID HOBBITS LIKE YOU EVER BECOME THIS EVOLUTIONARY VIOLENT!?” And so the invasion by the highlanders of the Burning South failed miserable to the power of fine dining and living, as well as the power of diplomacy… not to mention, the hobbit kingdom supports 99% of our world’s agriculture and food production due to the major resource shortage. “GYAAAAH-HAAA-HAAA! BOW BEFORE THE MIGHT OF THE HOBBITS!” “YOU LITTLE B*TCH! YOU’RE STILL JUST HIDING BEHIND THE PANTS OF BIGGER PEOPLE!!" “SHOOT – HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIM!" The name of this counter offensive was: Operation Halloween Parade.