Reiterating the trigger warning:

TRIGGER WARNING: this chapter deals with death and a dead body. No one gets killed, but it does get heavy into grief. It's for almost the entire chapter, and there is a summary at the end

Chapter 5

KRISTIN BAOK

Kristin Baok didn't watch the news all that much. Being in the Silverlight Forest Protection Unit required that he was hyper aware of everything going on around in Waverwell —especially in relation to Silverlight Forest— but he rarely sat down and let the news play. It was something about scrolling through news articles that piqued his interest far more than just passively sitting on the couch and observing.

But right now Kristin needed a distraction. Something. Anything. He needed his mind off the fact that Ashley still hadn't responded to his numerous calls and texts.

Kristin was at the point that he was seriously debating creating a Muse account to message Ashley on that, since he was the only one out of anyone in the SFPU with an account, though Kristin knew he hadn't logged on in a while. He'd opened the Muse app on his phone several times, hovering on the create a username and password page for a few minutes before exiting and locking his phone.

Waverwell News went through some of the events that had happened, interspersing the darker stories with popular videos trending to lighten it up. Sarah Seaville, the weatherperson, forecast the weather for the next week, saying that there was likely to be a bit of rain later on but that it would mostly be pretty mild.

Charlie crunched on her salad, and Kristin knew she was beginning to tune out since she spent more time moving her food around and carefully selecting which pieces of lettuce to pair with which toppings than the screen and what the reporters were saying.

And Kristin was as well. His mind began to wander.

He was just about to go check on Morpheus, who was still laying in his room as the sedatives wore off.

But then the Breaking News anthem played, cutting off the news about a rescue in the Underland. "Breaking news tonight out of Moonfall. I'm your host Shaheena Driscoll from Waverwell News." Shaheena stared straight at the camera as she straightened out some papers on the lengthy desk she and the other host, Jaymes Haverfield, sat at. Sarah Seaville stood at the end.

"Authorities have just reported that a body was found in the Pocket Forest-."

Kristin snapped out a hand and paused the tv, looking at Charlie and Ferris. "Wait. That's here. That's us."

"It... it is here." Charlie looked stunned, a hint of confusion written across her face.

"That happened here, on the land we protect."

"I don't know," she said. "I don't know. We'll have to figure out what happened, work with authorities, maybe do a few reports or something, and make sure it sure as hell doesn't happen again." She shoveled a massive bite of salad into her mouth as her lip curled.

Kristin pressed play.

"At this time, little is known about the body and what happened, but authorities believe it to be one of the most brutal murders in Waverwell history," Shaheena continued. "The body was found along Myway Highway earlier today. Authorities say that the murder likely occurred sometime in the night before. If you, or someone you know, has any information about what happened, please visit our website, or contact the Moonfall Precinct. The number is on your screen below." A number appeared.

The screen cut to a video of Myway Highway, where people were bustling about. Cars had blocked off the road, and flashing lights lit up the trees. Tents and tables had been set up, but what was on them wasn't clear.

"Myway Highway has been shut down as investigators search through the scene for evidence and clues as they piece together what happened. The length of time Myway Highway will be shut down is unknown, but we will keep you updated as this story unfolds. In the meantime, authorities are having people use the roads following the Waverwell Trainline as the detour and encourage everyone to allow for extra time and a longer drive while Myway Highway is shut down."

"We could drive out there," Ferris murmured. "See what they're doing, what's going on."

"You need to stay here and rest, and I doubt they would let us anywhere near the scene. We're the SFPU, but we have no authority over something like a murder. Our authority is over arresting those who are going to poach or otherwise disrupt the balance of Silverlight Forest, not investigating a murder." Kristin's heart clenched, but he knew what he said was true: they wouldn't be able to do anything.

"We could sneak in there, see it from a distance. I know the forest," Charlie said.

"That will get us arrested."

"Maybe we'll be able to find something."

"We're not investigators in the slightest."

"We can track through the forest. We know it better than anyone. If there's a trail, we'll find it. The dogs can too."

"I know you want to help, Charlie, but we know nothing about this murder other than what Shaheena just said."

"I know that. I'm not an idiot, Kristin."

"I never said you were."

"But, like, we should be doing somethin', ya know? This was on our land, our forest that we protect. We came up with that pact when we first started like a year ago: protect the Silverlight Forest, from anything and everything that would wish it harm. A murder sure as hell falls under that category."

"We can call the Moonfall Precinct and see if there's anything we can do to help, but I'm not sure how much else we would be able to do. We track down offenders, not murderers."

"They murder animals. They're all murderers."

"Are my eyes going crazy... or are those red shoes?" Ferris ran a palm over his face, blinking heavily, and gestured with a clumsy hand at the tv.

"Where?"

"Rewind like two seconds. Top left corner coming from the forest." Kristin complied and squinted at the screen. Sure enough, someone walked out of the forest, a bag in their hands. Bright red sneakers were contained within it. Kristin jabbed at the remote to pause it with more force than was necessary.

Red shoes. That didn't mean anything. There were many, many, many pairs of red shoes in Waverwell. Many pairs of red sneakers, too. It didn't mean anything. It didn't.

But doubt was trickling in his mind. Fear was taking hold of his chest. Worry was chewing at his insides. Panic was squeezing his throat.

"There are many red shoes," Kristin whispered, and his voice cracked. "Many."

"What's goin' on?" Charlie turned to face him, munching on another bite of salad.

"Well... Ashley was wearing red sneakers when he left yesterday."

"Red shoes yesterday, red shoes there... Oh, I see. I don't know what his look like so I can't say whether they look like his or not."

"Can you tell if the laces have been tied in daisy chains?" It felt like a band was cinched around his ribcage, tightening with every exhale until he could've sworn he was sucking in air through a straw.

Charlie dropped her salad on the coffee table and moved to stand a few inches from the tv. She squinted. "No, sorry. It's pretty grainy."

Before Kristin could tell her that it was alright, the front door opened and Ren and Zip walked through. Ren took out their headphones and slipped them into a pocket.

"I-I... Precinct- they went. Lots of cars. What-what's going on?" Zip's hands flapped against his thighs. His eyes darted across the room, never lingering on anything for too long.

"There's been a murder in Silverlight Forest. Apparently one of quote: 'the most brutal in Waverwell history' and it's on the land we protect." Charlie gave air quotes, and her eyes flared with anger. "God, I need to do something. We should be out there, helping the Moonfall Precinct, figuring out who the hell did that. Just give me five minutes with who... not who. The monster that did this. God, I can't believe it. We should've known they were there, stopped them. Let the dogs chew on them for-." Charlie tugged at her hair, stalking around the coffee table.

"Charlie," Ferris said, standing up and gently removing Charlie's fingers. "No one's going to argue with you, but stewing in your anger won't change anything. And Kristin is right: we have no authority over any part of their investigation. We're just like anyone else with that. We'll help in any way we can, but we can't just show up to the crime scene. Come on, sit down and finish your salad. We can give the Moonfall Precinct a call and ask them if there's anything we can do."

"Fine." Charlie scooped up her salad and held her fork in her fist, stabbing a piece of lettuce with far more force than was necessary.

"Would it be illegal to look at the cameras? Maybe something got picked up on there?" Ren shrugged off their jacket and hung it up on the hook by the door.

"If there's footage, I'm sure the Moonfall Precinct would want it. Zip, can you get those on a tape or something?"

"I... yeah. But th-there isn't anything. If anyone set them off... they-they would've alerted us."

"Could it have failed to alert you?" Charlie shoveled another bite into her mouth. Her knuckles were white around her fork.

"No." Irritation flickered across Zip's expression but his voice was the usual, even level it never strayed from, never betraying anything.

Ferris's phone rang before Kristin could say that perhaps they could just take a look, that it would give them something to do. Ferris pulled it out of his pocket and glanced at the screen. Moonfall Precinct, he mouthed before answering it. Time seemed to slow.

"Hello. This is Ferris Dipper."

"No, Ashley is not here." Ferris paused, listening to whoever was talking on the other end. His face went still, and he glanced over at Kristin. Come on, tell me. What are they saying? Kristin knew Ferris would tell them, but the desire —the need— to know ate away at him. If they had information on Ashley, he needed it. His broth-... he didn't let himself go down whatever rabbit hole his mind had been about to dip into. Kristin waved his hand, telling Ferris to hurry up and tell them, but he only held up a finger. Just a moment, the gesture said, and Kristin wanted to scream.

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"I see. Yes, he's here."

"We'll be there in fifteen or twenty minutes. Thanks."

Ferris hung up the phone.

"We need to go to the Moonfall Precinct now. They believe they've found Ashley." Ferris sprang to his feet, stumbling a step to the side but catching himself quickly.

"I-I... I'll get the-the car." Zip slipped out of the house.

"I'll help." Charlie dropped her salad on the coffee table once again and sprinted after Zip. The door slammed shut behind her.

"How's Morpheus doing? Does one of us need to stay behind?" Ren turned around and drummed their fingers on the counter.

"I-...," Kristin trailed off. In his haze of panic over the murder in Silverlight Forest, he'd forgotten about the dog in his room. Guilt swirled in his gut. "He'll probably be fine."

"Alright. I'll put him in his pen."

"He's in my room. He's still groggy but he's awake and will be fine. He just needs some rest."

"Ok. I'll be at the car in a minute."

xxxx

No one talked during the ride to the Moonfall Precinct. The silence was a deafening blanket that clung to every inch of the car. It was one of the two they used for trips into town and excursions that didn't require the extra space and power necessary for tracking down poachers and offenders. Ashley had the other, the one that was bigger, and so they'd all crammed into the smallest of their cars. No one complained.

Zip drove and Kristin rode shotgun. Ren took one of the window seats and Ferris took the other, leaving Charlie in the middle. She leaned closer to Ferris, giving Ren the space Kristin knew they wanted. He also would be willing to bet money that both Charlie and Ferris didn't mind.

The drive blurred together, and Kristin could feel the anxiety gnawing at his insides. His mind raced, what-ifs coursing through his head like a hurricane, battering his brain until his head hurt.

They'd found Ashley, but what does that mean? If they'd found Ashley, would't he have called us already? If his phone died, wouldn't he have just borrowed someone else's?

Perhaps he was hurt. Perhaps he'd gotten injured somehow, and he was at the Moonfall Precinct. Why he was at the Precinct and not a hospital, Kristin didn't know, but he was sure there was a perfectly reasonable explanation.

Whatever the reason was, Kristin was sure it would work out. That they'd see Ashley, and his twin would explain everything. They would hug it out like they'd always done. Any problem they'd ever had, they'd sit down, take several deep breaths, talk, and then give each other a big hug. No matter what, they'd always solve any dispute between each other with a hug. Growing up in Cat's Cradle hadn't been easy, but a hug had always solved anything. This time wouldn't be any different.

xxxx

By the time they reached Moonfall, and then the Moonfall Precinct, Kristin was nearly shaking.

He could barely hear what was said. After asking if it was ok, Charlie had placed her hand on his forearm and led him into the Moonfall Precinct. Ferris had done the talking, and Ren and Zip stood by him, offering their silent support. Blood roared in his ears, and he felt like he was floating.

When they were led through hallways toward the back of the Precinct, time seemed to be swimming through sludge. Kristin was looking at the walls, at the door, at the person leading them, but it was as if he couldn't see. He couldn't make sense of, fully process, what it was he was seeing.

The person stopped by a door, offering him a sympathetic smile that he didn't understand, before opening it and allowing them to enter first.

"Who here is Kristin Baok?" They asked.

"M-me," he managed to choke out after a long minute.

"We believe we found your brother."

It took him another minute or two to be able to process what the person said, and then it was like a bucket of ice water had been dumped over him. He started to be able to really see where he was, his surroundings.

The room he was in was blindingly clean, and one of the walls was silver, with squares evenly spaced across it, three high and four wide. Little tags were arranged next to each square, but Kristin was too far away to be able to read them. Two gurneys were pressed up against the opposite wall.

Kristin stared at the squares, the twelve of them. He slowly moved his gaze to the person's. Their expression softened. "I believe we found your brother," they repeated.

"Wh-where is he?" His voice sounded like it was miles away.

"I'm sorry." They opened one of the squares. Second from the right on the middle row.

Kristin's legs gave out, and only Charlie's quick reflexes kept him from crashing to the ground.

"No."

He sagged against Charlie. She drew in a shaky breath. "I-I... He...," her voice trailed off, and she didn't finish her sentence.

"No," Kristin repeated.

"I'm sorry." The person echoed their previous statement.

Kristin looked up, and he saw that they'd pulled out a body from the containers in the wall. It was covered in a white sheet, and two feet poked out from the end of it. Kristin recognized them immediately.

He wore a copy of his own.

"No," he said once more as tears pooled in his eyes. His hands covered his mouth as a whimper slipped from his throat. Charlie's grip on him tightened. "No, no, no, no, NO."

Zip's fingertips brushed his shoulder. He glanced back, and Zip was staring at the body, chewing on a knuckle.

Kristin took a few steps forward, breaking away from Charlie, who let him go. The person had retreated to a corner of the room, and he barely noticed them.

He drew to a stop beside the body's side. His eyes trailed across, from the feet he had patched up from cuts and scrapes when growing up, to hands he'd held, to a face he shared an identical copy of, one he saw every day in the mirror. Now that he was closer, he could read the little tag on the wall: ASHLEY BAOK. Someone twisted the knife in his gut, and his legs nearly gave out. His fingers curled onto the side of the metal tray.

Ashley's eyes were closed. He looked peaceful. Like he was sound asleep in a pleasant dream. Kristin hoped he was.

Kristin choked on a breath, jaw quivering as tears ran down his cheeks. "A-A-Ashley," he sobbed, shaky hands reaching out to grab onto that of his twin. But his umber skin was cold, motionless. His fingers didn't curl in reaction. His eyes remained closed, face lax.

It's not Ashley.

Horror clawed its way through Kristin and bile rose in his throat. Whoever —whatever— he was seeing looked like his brother. Looked exactly like him. But it wasn't him, wasn't his brother.

"Ashley." Where did you go?

"Is this Ashley Baok?" Kristin wanted to scream at the person.

"Yes." No.

Ashley Baok would be laughing with the group, helping out around camp, assisting in capturing those who wished harm upon Silverlight Forest and its inhabitants.

Not laying here motionless. Cold. Lifeless. Empty.

This was Ashley Baok, but it wasn't him.

As soon as the yes was out of Kristin's mouth, he could feel his heart get ripped out of his chest, yanked free from his body and stomped into the ground.

His legs gave out, and his knees slammed into the ground, though he couldn't feel the pain. All he could feel was the hurricane of loss violently whirling around in his body. A storm of emotion he couldn't begin to process because the only thing he could think was no.

It had to be a dream. It had to. There was no other explanation. No, it was a dream. A nightmare. He would wake up. He had to. There was nothing else it could be.

There was no way the universe was that cruel. It wasn't that mean, that heartless.

He wrapped his arms around himself, imagining that it wasn't his arms, but rather his twin's. Ashley's. Imagining that it was in Cat's Cradle, after a cold night when he'd been crying and Ashley had wrapped him up in his arms and told him it would be ok. Or when Ashley had been crying and he'd done the same for him. It'll be ok. It'll all be ok. They'd repeated those words to the other until they'd believed it. Repeated those words for as long as was necessary.

He didn't realize he'd been clawing at his skin until he felt hands wrestling his arms away from his body. "Kristin, Kristin, Kristin. Please. Please, stop." Kristin opened his eyes and met the rest of the group, all of whom wore matching looks. Sad, disbelieving, broken. Charlie gripped his wrists tightly in her hands.

"Breathe, Kristin. Breathe." Ferris's low voice managed to pierce through the hurricane battering his insides enough to jumpstart his brain. He drew in a shaky breath, exhaled, and then draw in another.

"We... we'll. Find wh-who did this," Zip said.

No one said they were sorry. Kristin appreciated it.

He focused on the tight squeeze of Charlie's grip, hoping it would be enough to wake him up from the nightmare he surely was in. The universe couldn't be so cruel.

Right?

Kristin stood up and closed the distance between him and where Ashley lay.

"Do you need a moment alone?" Ren's quiet voice broke the silence. "We're alone here, but we can give you some private time with Ashley, if you'd like."

He didn't look back at them. All he could see was Ashley, and he couldn't tear his eyes away from his brother. Kristin could only see Ashley's head, neck, shoulders, and arms, but they were riddled with wounds. A gash split open his throat. Kristin shuddered when he thought about how the rest of his brother's body would look, how the wounds would spread.

Ashley's skin was pale. A shade of brown Kristin knew was far too light.

Who would do this? Who could do this to my brother? To anyone?

Kristin traced Ashley's cheek with a finger and brushed a lock of his dark, curly hair off to the side. Please. Please let me wake up. He picked up Ashley's hand again and nearly vomited at how wrong it felt. The cool touch of Ashley's skin against his. The limp feel of Ashley's hand in his. Kristin wanted to feel Ashley's fingers curl, hold his hand tight. He wanted to see Ashley open his eyes, place his hands on Kristin's shoulders, and tell him that it was just a nightmare.

Kristin's legs bowed as he slouched down and wrapped his arms loosely around Ashley's shoulders. He imagined Ashley's own arms moving to wrap around his shoulders, holding him tight like he'd done countless times while growing up in Cat's Cradle, like they'd done for each other their entire lives. The magical hug that would make everything better.

Tears streamed down his face, and his sides shook with every blubbering inhale. Please. Please just come back to me, Ashley. Come back. Please, I need you. Please, Ashley. Please. I need you.

I need a hug, Ashley. I need a hug, please.

Slowly, Kristin sank to the ground with a sob. It felt so wrong that he was here and Ashley was... wherever he was that wasn't here. Why was he here and Ashley not? What was so different about him? What was it about him that Ashley wasn't?

Someone had torn open his chest, ripped out his heart, and stomped it into the ground. Wrapped taloned fingers around his insides and shredded them into a million pieces. Thrown his soul into a meat grinder and turned it on high.

How would the world keep spinning without you in it? How can I face the world without you, Ashley? What happens when I need you and you're not there? How can the world live without you?

Kristin turned around. The rest of the SFPU knelt beside him, and they were blurry through his tear-filled eyes.

"Wh-why?" He managed to choke out.

"I don't know," Ferris whispered.

"We'll... f-find them." Zip stared at his shoes and rocked on the balls of his feet.

"Tell me it'll be ok." Kristin didn't care if it was a lie, he just needed to hear the words. "Tell me it'll all be ok."

If it would quell the hurricane in his chest for even just a few moments, he'd listen. He'd listen to anything. If it would give him just an ounce of relief, he'd do anything. He knew it was selfish; Ashley wouldn't feel anything ever again and here he was trying to soften everything he was feeling. He didn't care. He just needed relief, whatever the form.

He looked at each of his friends in turn. They'd all frozen, tensed after hearing what he'd said.

Charlie gave him a pained look. Tears rolled down her cheeks. "Can I give you a hug?" she asked. Kristin was only able to manage the subtlest of nods, and it was a miracle she was even able to see it.

Charlie knelt in front of him and wrapped her arms around him, and he clung to the back of her shirt like he'd wash away if he didn't hold on tight enough. His skin crawled at how different it felt from Ashley's hugs. His held safety and comfort. This one held nothing. But he didn't care. He curled his fingers a little tighter and squeezed his eyes shut.

"Tell me it'll be ok," he whispered. His voice sounded foreign.

Charlie turned her head into his shoulder. She took a few deep breaths.

"It'll be ok, Kristin. It might not be rainbows and butterflies and unicorns, but it'll all be ok."

Kristin felt Ferris's hand on his back and Zip's tentative fingertips brushing his arm again. Ren stood next to him, their presence comforting.

Charlie's words didn't help like he was hoping they would. They didn't soothe him. They didn't feel like the truth, though Kristin knew Charlie wouldn't lie. She never told anyone what they wanted to hear just for the sake of comfort.

"What... How-how..." Kristin couldn't finish the sentence.

"How do we go on?" Ferris's voice was soft, and Kristin wondered how he knew what he'd been trying to say. He nodded.

"We just try to keep going. Whether it's taking it day by day, hour by hour, or even second by second, we just try to keep moving forward. It doesn't matter if it's as slow as can be, we just try to keep moving forward. Put one foot in front of the other."

"How?" Kristin hated how broken he sounded, how strangled the word was. He choked on another round of sobs, and Charlie rubbed his back. Zip's fingers ghosted across his skin in short taps.

"I... I don't know. I wish I had all the answers and I could make everything better, but I can't. All I can say is to just keep trying to move forward, whatever that looks like. And if it's just surviving for a day, for a week, for a month, that's ok. Just keep fighting. I won't tell you that Ashley would've wanted you to do something, because I'm not him. I won't take guesses as to what he would've wanted because I'm Ferris, not Ashley.

"I wish I could tell you some magical, inspirational quote that would take away the pain, but I can't. Just know you've got us, and we're not going anywhere."

"You-... You knew him too."

"I know. But none of us knew Ashley like you knew him. It hurts like hell for all of us, but I know it's not anything like what you're feeling."

Kristin pulled away from Charlie and wiped his eyes. His fingers became slick with tears. When Ren offered him a tissue they'd pulled from their pocket, he took it.

"Who could do this?" The gash carving across Ashley's neck flashed in his mind, and bile rose in his throat.

"A monster." Charlie's voice was low, even. Rage burned in her eyes.

"That we'll find," Ren added on.

"A-and catch," Zip finished.

Although he felt mere seconds from vomiting his stomach contents and mere milliseconds from breaking down into another round of sobs, he stood up, biting his tongue until his chest didn't shake so much and drawing in shaky breaths until he no longer felt like he'd pass out. A spark of anger flickered in his stomach, absorbing the grief pummeling his guts.

We'll find who murdered you, Ashley. We'll find them. They'll pay for what they did.

"We've got work to do."