Chapter 8

CHARLIE SPRINGS

Charlie Springs pulled her blanket a little tighter around her shoulders, snuggling in as she stared at her door.

Just in front of the doorway lay the letter her parents had sent her. Wrapped in a neat envelope of thick parchment with a wax seal of the rose her parents bought after her birth, Beverley's neat, looping cursive spelled out her given name: Rose Hendricks. Charlie hadn't bothered to open it and instead threw it to the ground, then crawled into bed. She didn't want to know what her parents wrote or read what she knew would be cutting sentences filled with sharp words.

Charlie scowled at it, wishing she could burn a hole straight through it with her eyes and watch it burn. But when looking at the letter made her too angry, she rose up and flopped over onto her other side. Sunlight streamed through the window above her, and she squinted, pressing her face into her pillow. A bird chirped outside her window on a nearby tree. A part of her hated the sound— how dare the bird sing such a pretty song when her world had stopped with Ashley's death and how her parents trying to pull her under just like they did her whole childhood. But the world would just keep on spinning.

Beverley and Richmond showed up in the aftermath of the Waverwell News interview. Right after Charlie's tongue got ahead of her mind and she made that stupid claim about Leviathan Inc. and the disease. She had no proof. Right after she did what they had told her over and over and over not to— to not speak without thinking her words through, to not let her impulsivity get the best of her.

Why did they have to show up as soon as I messed up? Did they somehow know?

Charlie closed her eyes, but when she did, all she saw were the faces of Beverley and Richmond, all harsh angles, cold eyes, and biting words she could never seem to fully shake off. She pulled her blankets tighter over her shoulders until she felt the squeeze and brought her knees to her chest. She bared her teeth when her eyes stung from the memories of the fights, how she could never relax at home, how she knew who was walking from the sound of their footsteps and whether or not they were angry, how she knew where everyone was in the house, how she made sure to always be doing something acceptable whenever her parents came near her room.

Charlie had kept up the habit for the first several months of the SFPU and still sometimes found herself lying about what she was really doing on occasion. She hated lying to her friends, especially when she knew they wouldn't care.

Now, Charlie knew she had likely spent at least an hour in bed, probably more. Her sense of time was virtually non-existent, but she didn't have to look at a clock to know she had wasted so much of her day. She could've done something productive, but instead she had folded herself up into a burrito with her blankets and laid in bed for so long.

She glared at the wall as a wave of frustration and fury reared up inside her, all jagged scales and sharp spines.

Even now Beverley and Richmond still held control over her, the one thing Charlie had vowed to never let happen again the night she left home in Corville. Their fingernails still dug deep into her flesh like a leash. They still loomed over her shoulder, leaning in close for when she made a mistake.

Charlie wondered if she was letting down the kid who could never recognize her reflection in the mirror.

I'm sorry, she whispered to the kid. I'm so sorry.

xxxx

"Charlie?" Ren asked, knocking on her door.

She grumbled when they knocked again. "What?"

"They found Felix."

Charlie stared at her wall, mind working over the sentence. "What?" she eventually replied.

Surely Ren was wrong. Surely she misheard them, or maybe they misunderstood or misspoke.

"Felix has been found," Ren repeated. "There's a segment on Waverwell News that goes over the details. We wanted to see if you'd like to join us to watch it."

Charlie rolled over, kicking off her blankets. "Yeah, I'm coming. Be out in just a sec."

Apparently not, she thought to herself. Apparently Ren was right.

She sat up in bed and ran a hand through her hair. She heard Ren presumably walk back to the living area, then heard their voice murmur what Charlie assumed was that she'd be there soon.

Charlie tried to guess how Felix had been found. If he had escaped or was rescued. How he managed to survive the Trinity. If he had truly been captured by the Trinity. What exactly happened.

Some part of her wondered why he had survived and Ashley hadn't. Why Ashley had to die and Felix didn't.

She felt guilty for thinking that. She should be happy Felix was alive.

And she was. She was happy. She was happy Felix was alive.

But she wished for the millionth time that Ashley could still somehow be alive even though she knew that wasn't true and never would be.

Charlie made herself get up. If she couldn't have a productive day, she could at least do something and see if Felix was ok. Or at least as ok as he really could be.

She hated that she couldn't have any sort of dramatic reaction and instead felt very little. She didn't know what Felix had been forced to endure and couldn't imagine it. The bare minimum was feeling relived he was alive. Instead, Charlie just felt numb, and maybe that made her a terrible person.

Inside her chest was a yawning void of darkness, filled with years worth of exhaustion and pain that built up, pushed to a breaking point by her best friend's murder and her parents returning.

Charlie stepped on the letter as she walked out of her bedroom, digging her toes into the neat cursive of Beverley's handwriting and twisting her foot. The envelope crinkled and creased. Beverley and Richmond would never know, but it made Charlie feel a little better so she didn't care.

Ferris moved over on the couch to make space for her. Ren sat on the far side, and Zip twisted a piece of wire around his finger beside Kristin. The two had dragged stools from the kitchen to sit on.

"You ok?" Ferris asked as Charlie approached.

"Fine."

"Is that a let-," Ferris started, looking past Charlie and into her room, where the door was ajar and the letter was visible.

"Don't even think about it." Charlie inhaled sharply, then threw her head to the side and flashed her teeth. "Sorry, that was rude."

Ferris shrugged. "You're stressed. It's fine."

"It's not."

"I'm not angry." Ferris's expression was so neutral it annoyed Charlie. He didn't look irritated in the slightest, the complete opposite of Charlie's bubbling frustration.

"I never said you were," Charlie ground out, falling into an all-too familiar habit of automatically arguing. She paused, taking a breath and forcing herself to think things through. "Sorry," she repeated.

"It's fine. Ready to watch?"

"Go for it," Charlie sighed, settling down beside him and scooping a pillow off the couch to hold to her chest. She squeezed it to provide some sort of release for her emotions.

xxxx

Ferris hit play on the remote, and the screen showed Shaheena Driscoll and Jaymes Haverfield in the studio of Waverwell News.

"Breaking News from Corville," Jaymes said. "Felix Fisk has been found alive after his capture by the Trinity."

The video cut to a street view of the Waverwell government building in its elaborate design.

"Felix Fisk showed up to the government building yesterday afternoon, where he was then taken to the Corville Medical Center. We do not yet have confirmation on Felix's condition, although sources say he is awake and talking with detec-."

Charlie grabbed the remote and hit pause. She leaned back on the couch, holding the remote in her hands, and frowning at the tv. Ren turned their attention to her, watching over Ferris's shoulder, and the rest of the group did the same. None seemed annoyed, instead just waiting for her to speak.

"What are we even doing?" Charlie snarled once the silence became too much and she just had to fill it, had to say something so it didn't prickle at her skin so much and drag words from within her she didn't want to say.

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"What?" Zip looked alarmed and Charlie felt guilty, but she also felt too angry to stop.

"We don't even know," she continued, the words pouring from within her. "We're not doing anything useful. We're just sitting around here. We're currently watching tv. We can't tell the detectives anything cuz we don't know anything. All we can tell them is what Ashley was like and what does that do? We don't know why he died or who killed him. We're relying on others to say stuff but we don't know who they are or if they're lying. Who knows anything and we can't even tell anyone stuff cuz we just have no goddamn clue. We're just sitting around twiddling our thumbs when Ashley's dead and his killers are still out there."

No one said anything, and a part of Charlie wished she could pull the words back into herself, take them back.

"I feel the same way," Kristin eventually said. "I wish I could do more, too. The camp feels like a dreamland of sorts. Protected, disconnected, but also still so close to Ashley. I wish I could give Larson all the answers, but I don't know much at all. All I can say is who Ashley was."

"Knowing Ashley is helpful," Ren murmured, scratching at a stain on the arm of the couch. "It helps Larson and the detectives an awful lot. They need to know who he is because perhaps there are clues in who he knew and what he normally did."

"That's not what I'm tryin' to say," Charlie grumbled, fiddling with the battery cover of the remote. She pulled it off, then slid it back on, feeling the snap as it clicked back into place. Her foot bounced in a rapid rhythm, a staccato beat for her restless and bubbling energy.

"What were you trying to say?" Charlie guessed Ren just wanted to fill the space in conversation and offer her a bit more time to gather her thoughts.

"I know it's important for them to know who Ashley was and I'll answer any questions they got, but I wish I could just tell them everything. I want answers. I hate just having to sit here and wait. I want to know. I don't want to be layin' around when Ashley's dead."

No one spoke for several long minutes.

"I don't know what else to do," Ferris murmured. He leaned forward, elbows on his knees and his chin resting on interlaced fingers. He stared straight ahead, gaze pained and exhausted. "I don't know what we can do. Our power is in poachers and lies only within Silverlight Forest, and we certainly have no ability or knowledge to investigate a murder, not to mention the major conflict of interest. Larson's doing his job, as is everyone else working the case. We can answer any more questions they have, let them search anywhere they need to, do whatever they ask, but... I don't know what else we can do. They're doing their job, and we don't know how to do our job. They can get whatever they need, and even if they couldn't, they can ask President Cynthia."

"But is just sitting around the right thing to do?" Charlie pressed.

"What else do you propose we do?" When Ferris saw Charlie begin to narrow her eyes and straighten her spine, he raised a finger and continued. "That's a genuine question. If you have ideas, I'm all ears, truly."

Charlie hummed. She looked off to the side for a moment, then shrugged. She flopped back against the couch, hugging the pillow tight to her chest. "We stopped hunting down people in the Forest. No way they've just stopped killin' animals. Precinct can track 'em down, but..." she trailed off, biting her lip. "We promised we'd find them a year ago. Can't just go back on that promise, ya know?"

Kristin stared at her, then exhaled. "Ashley got murdered," he said slowly.

Charlie huffed, curling her lip. "Ain't like I can just forget that," she mumbled. "But we've just been sitting around and flippin' through everything tryna figure that out, but-." Charlie hissed, gritting her teeth and punching the pillow on her lap before throwing it off to the side as rage filled her veins and burned through her insides.

"Charlie," Zip started.

"What?" she tried to keep her voice level but some of her frustration still worked its way into her words. She stood up off the couch and stalked back and forth behind it.

"The Precinct will... they'll track poachers for as long as-as we need. How are you going to, uh... find a poacher if-. If you're dealing with-with Ashley's... uh... death?"

"I don't..." Charlie paused to take a breath. "I don't..." she paused again. Zip had a point, but she hated the point and how it made sense and she couldn't argue against it. At best, she'd just fail to capture the poacher. At worst, someone would get hurt. At the very worst, that person getting hurt would be anyone but herself. At the very very worst, the person getting hurt would be one of her friends, in which case she'd never forgive herself. She hated when someone made a point when she was angry that she had to admit made sense.

She sighed a sigh that sounded more like a growl.

Ferris handed her the pillow when she settled back down on the couch.

"How the hell are you all staying so calm? You never get angry. Especially you, Dipper." Charlie jabbed a finger in his direction, and he didn't look surprised.

"How honest of an answer would you like?" he asked.

Charlie squinted at him before responding. "Honest honest."

"I can only speak for myself on this," Ferris started, shifting on the couch to more fully face her. "But my fathers taught me about feelings and modeled how to deal with them and showed me how to work with my own emotions. From what I know of your childhood, it seems you did not get that. I'm still angry and frustrated and heartbroken and filled with grief, though. There's no changing that. Ashley was a very close friend, and there's nothing that can make me not miss him."

Charlie snorted and rolled her eyes. "No, there was no talking about feelings when I was a kid. Talk back and you went to your room. Cry and you had to stop that. Argue and you had to be quiet and respect your elders. Beverley and Richmond only wanted a kid who had a good attitude. Wanted their perfect little kid. They never talked about feelings. They could yell at me, but it never went the other way." Charlie shook her head. "No wonder you're dealing with it better."

Ferris tilted his head to the side. "We show emotion in different ways, Springs. I might have been taught about the crazy thing called feelings, but there isn't a rulebook for the grief that comes with losing a loved one to anything. You react outwardly and move when dealing with emotions. I do so more internally."

"You need to... to do something, Charlie," Zip murmured, twisting the piece of wire into a corkscrew. "You're-you're like me. Have to... get it out by doing."

Charlie laughed, the first time she felt any sort of humor in a long time. "Who woulda thought we'd be talkin' about feelings."

Kristin smiled. "It's better than keeping it all inside until someone explodes."

"Probably woulda been me." Charlie knew it was true.

"I think it could've been any of us," Ren murmured, settling into the couch.

The group drifted off into silence, broken only by the sound of the birds outside and someone shifting on their seat.

Charlie twisted the tv remote in her hands, flipping it in circles. She slouched on the couch, nearly horizontal, and rested her head on Ferris's shoulder. He leaned into her touch.

"Do you guys think Felix will be ok?" Kristin asked after a few minutes.

Charlie huffed a laugh. "Physically or mentally?"

"In general, I suppose," Kristin replied.

"Physically, probably. Mentally, no way."

Kristin hummed, looking down at his hands.

Charlie pushed up from leaning against Ferris and hunched over the arm of the couch. "What are you thinking?"

"He shouldn't have had to see that. I should've been there with Ashley to be there for him. Felix shouldn't have had to see that." Kristin's voice wobbled.

"And you should've seen it?" Charlie asked with a wet laugh that caught in her throat. She knew the answer and she knew Kristin did, too. "Ashley should've never been there that night! He should've been able to finish the supply run and come home and gone on with his life like he'd done a hundred times before! He never shoulda died! I know you know that."

"I know..." Kristin trailed off.

"He's receiving medical treatment, and I'm sure that includes seeing a psychiatrist," Ren said. "I'm sure he's getting every bit of medical attention that he needs."

"I'm sure he is," Ferris replied.

"I'm going to my room. Don't come get me unless something's burning," Charlie muttered.

She stalked back to her room, and she could feel the weight of Ferris's gaze on her back but she resisted turning around. She didn't need to see the look in his eyes, that softness, the lack of judgement she loved most of the time but hated currently.

When Charlie made it to her room, she closed the door and immediately sank to the ground against it, pulling her knees to her chest and drawing in a gasping breath.

She knew she was glad Felix was at least alive, even if she couldn't feel it yet. But she also didn't know how many more things could happen before her mind snapped.

Charlie put her hand to her chest to try to slow her thoughts.

Maybe a nap would help, she thought, eyeing the soft, fuzzy blanket and the thick comforter.

She scooped up the crinkled letter from Beverley and Richmond and threw it in the trash, hoping that maybe this time Rose Hendricks could stay dead forever.

xxxx

Larson showed up the following morning.

He didn't even wait until the gate was open and just parked his car outside and hopped out, sliding through the gate as it opened. Instead of his usual uniform, Larson wore clothing that looked far more similar to the SFPU attire Charlie used to wear— durable, pockets and straps to hold any needed equipment, breathable. He wore a bulletproof vest, and his boots were covered in mud with dirt smeared across parts of his clothing and armor. He wiped away a streak of dirt from his greying mustache as he walked across the courtyard.

"Larson's here," Ren said, peering out the window by the tv.

Charlie raised her eyebrows as she ate another bite of toast. Kristin and Ferris looked up from the article they read on Kristin's phone, and Zip paused in eating his scrambled eggs.

"Did he call anyone?" Charlie asked. "Didn't call me."

Ferris shook his head. "He didn't contact me either."

The rest of the group shook their heads as well.

"Toast can wait, I guess." Charlie stood up and wiped her hands on her thighs.

Kristin opened the door just as Larson reached the front of the house.

Charlie and the rest of the group approached in a cautious manner. She didn't know if Larson had brought anyone else or why he was here— he had not mentioned a visit.

"Hello, Larson," Ferris greeted. Charlie heard the same apprehension in his voice that she felt.

"Hello," Larson replied. No one else joined him, and only his car sat just beyond the gate to the camp.

"What do you... wh-what do you want?" Zip asked.

Larson inclined his head, eyebrows furrowing as he thought for a moment.

Charlie straightened her spine and squared her shoulders as she readied herself for whatever was about to be said. Her skin prickled with anticipation.

"I have a few things I'd like to tell you," Larson started. He took a breath, and Charlie stilled.

Her mind raced as she tried to fill in the blanks and guess what Larson was going to say, tried to know beforehand and prepare herself to react. But she couldn't. Her only thought was some world-shattering news like she had received the day she learned of Ashley's murder. She couldn't handle that again. She couldn't hear that again.

"Well?" Kristin said. His expression was set hard, gaze dark and stance tense, but Charlie saw the beginnings of panic creeping in when she glanced at him. Ren shifted beside her with nervous energy that Charlie felt too. Zip twisted his fingers as he waited.

"First, did Sprague Fetch ever mention anything about the whistleblower?"

Charlie thought for a moment, running through every bit of the interaction she had with Sprague. Nothing came to mind and she shook her head. "No, he did not. Why?"

Larson hummed, though his expression gave away nothing.

"The main reason I came here, though, is that we have arrested the Trinity."

Charlie froze, every muscle going taut in an instant. Kristin gasped beside her and stumbled a step.

There was no way-.

Larson continued, though his words sounded like they were underwater and a mile away and Charlie could barely hear over the buzzing in her ears and it was a miracle she hadn't collapsed: "I wanted to be sure to tell you before it broke on the news. Ryzor is telling Kansas Sampson March now as well. I wanted you to hear it from me and that yes, it is true. We have the Trinity in custody. Felix remembered enough about his capture and where he went, and we were able to fit that with what Sprague has told us.

"We arrested the Trinity in the forests between the Underdown and Cat's Cradle."