Chapter 12

KRISTIN BAOK

Kristin Baok didn't know how to feel.

He felt happy, sure. Relieved. Like a weight was lifted off his shoulders.

But he also felt despair.

He'd refused to let the television be turned on, because he knew the second someone hit the power button he'd come face to face with the same people who saw Ashley's last moments.

The same ones who took his life.

He knew their faces would be plastered across every inch of Waverwell News, reporters repeating the same facts over and over as they all competed for the next exclusive story. He didn't want to see them.

Kristin hunched over in his bed, holding the little toy mouse Ashley had bought him as an impulse buy on one of the first supply runs when he couldn't resist getting presents for everyone in some informal celebration of what they had achieved in creating the Silverlight Forest Protection Unit.

"They caught the Trinity," Kristin whispered to himself, voice breaking across the syllables like shattering glass. He could barely make his mouth form them.

He held on tighter to the mouse, stroking its matted fur. Kristin thought he'd just forget about the mouse until it one day just ended up in the trash, but somehow the mouse stuck around and collected dust, until now when it was just another piece of his brother he clung to now and forever.

Larson had left a half hour ago. He had stuck around long enough to answer the onslaught of questions and to make sure they'd be ok, but not much longer, some mix of needing to get back to deal with the Trinity but also to give them all space to work through the development.

But before he'd left and after he'd told them of the Trinity's arrest, Ferris had immediately begun pressing him for more information, while Kristin did everything he could to make sure his legs didn't give out. He could hardly hear Ferris's low voice through the ringing in his ears.

Zip asked about the exact location of where the Trinity was arrested, Charlie asked about who they were, Ren asked about Sprague Fetch, and Ferris asked about Felix Fisk. Kristin couldn't follow any of it.

The Moonfall Precinct had the Trinity. They were arrested.

The monsters who took Ashley's life were in handcuffs and behind bars.

It didn't feel real.

Kristin felt glad, relieved beyond words, but the horror twisted into something different.

The Trinity was no longer just some hypothetical, a name given to three unknown people. No longer were the Trinity just nightmares, demons that haunted his every moment, lurking just out of reach, faceless beings he could pass on the street and never realize it. They were now real, realized people, locked up in prison with handcuffs and jumpsuits.

Kristin would never not be able to recognize them. He'd now know exactly who they were, and they would now face charges and a trial.

xxxx

It took several days of doing almost nothing around the house before Kristin felt that he could deal with the Trinity's faces on the news.

He felt a bit selfish, avoiding the television and his phone. He really should see the Trinity and stay caught up, but he wanted that limbo for just a little longer, that space between wondering who the Trinity is and having to face the reality of three human beings who stole his brother away. Three people who looked like humans, human like his brother, even if the comparison -the idea that the Trinity could be people, just like Ashley was- tore Kristin up from the inside.

Kristin left his room and saw Charlie laying on the couch, staring off into space and absently peeling apart slices of ham piled on a plate and dropping the dangling pieces into her mouth. She didn't pay him any attention, and he didn't mind. He didn't know if he could deal with any sort of interaction.

Kristin watched her for a moment, then turned his attention to the kitchen, where he saw the tv remote.

He pressed the power button, but as soon as the screen lit up, he hit pause.

Charlie sprung up from the couch, sitting up in one fluid movement and setting her plate on the coffee table. "Yo, what'cha doin'?"

"I have to see them," Kristin murmured distantly.

"You're doing what?"

"The Trinity. I need to know what they look like. I need to know who Ashley last saw."

Charlie frowned. "I don't think he ever saw their faces."

Kristin flinched. He knew that, and he didn't know if it made it better or worse. "Still," he replied.

Charlie inclined her head. "You want me here for company, or do ya wanna see them by yourself?"

"You already know what they look like, don't you?"

Charlie shrugged. "I looked them up right after Larson left. Had to know. Dunno 'bout the others."

"Do I want to see them?" Kristin found himself asking.

"Couldn't tell ya. I ain't you," Charlie said, leaning against the back pillow of the couch.

Kristin put his hands on the kitchen counter, bracing himself. "Tell me," he pleaded, making and holding eye contact for Charlie because he just needed to know. "Tell me if I want to see them."

Charlie's face fell, and she cushioned her head on her bent arm, cheek squishing up.

"I don't know if you want to see their faces. I ain't you," she replied, but she studied Kristin for a moment and then continued, realizing what Kristin couldn't quite put to words. "I can tell you, though, that they look about like what you'd expect. They look like monsters. Waverwell News is showing their mugshots. Nothing else of 'em. Everything else is just wide shots of the Moonfall Precinct surrounded by officers and such. Can't see the inside or nothin'."

Kristin dropped his gaze to his hands. They looked just like the cold hands of Ashley the last time he saw his brother, yet also still so vastly different.

He knew there was no way he could run forever. He couldn't live the rest of his life without seeing their faces. At some point he would come face to face with the images of the Trinity.

He crossed from the kitchen to the living area and made a shooing motion with his hand.

"Move over," he said, and Charlie did so, scooting across the couch to make room for him.

Taken from Royal Road, this narrative should be reported if found on Amazon.

Charlie stayed silent as Kristin held the tv remote in his hands. The play button loomed before him, but he couldn't quite bring himself to push it. Waverwell News was already set as the channel and the Breaking News segment about the Trinity's arrest was airing, so all he had to do was hit play.

Tears stung in Kristin's eyes.

He had to hit play. He had to do it. He owed Ashley that much. He owed it to his brother to see the faces of the Trinity. He couldn't sit in the disconnect forever, that space of knowledge without seeing any of the details. He'd see the mugshots eventually, and he knew it. He couldn't hide forever. There was some twisted comfort in not knowing, Kristin knew, but there was also immense guilt.

Ashley never got comfort. He had to go through it all alone, and Kristin wasn't there.

He could sit through seeing the faces of the Trinity. He had to.

With a shaky hand, Kristin hit play.

"-son Hotch and the rest of the Moonfall Precinct arrested the Trinity earlier today," Shaheena Driscoll said.

The screen cut to a blank background, and three photos lined up next to each other, each labeled with their name below.

"The Moonfall Precinct has identified the Trinity as Mayil, Brenley, and Ander, but has yet to release any more information."

Kristin paused the tv again as he stared at the screen. His body trembled as he took in the images of the Trinity.

Mayil's eyes stared straight back at him, dark and intense, like they saw straight into his soul, and her dark hair framed her face in harsh locks. Brenley had the beginning of a crooked smile slashed across her face, and her gaze was predatory with streaky blonde hair that curled around her head, then swooped out wide at her shoulders. Ander's head sat at an angle, and he had a blank stare and an equally blank expression. His brown hair stuck out at every angle like a storm cloud.

Kristin stopped breathing, and he shivered. The temperature of the room felt like it dropped a hundred degrees. Kristin set down the remote before he squeezed it too hard and it broke. He grabbed a pillow from behind him and bracketed his arms around it, locking it to his chest and pouring his horror into it.

Those three people took Ashley away. They stole his life. They made him suffer.

Hate curled in Kristin's gut, a twisting tendril that sputtered and snapped. His lips curled as tears burned in his eyes.

What right did they have? What right did they have to take Ashley away? What twisted logic did they have that made them feel it was ok?

They killed Ashley. They murdered him.

Kristin wished they were right there in front of him. He wanted answers. He wanted to know why, even though he knew he'd never get an answer that would make him say ok and accept the justification.

A part of him wanted to turn to violence. They took away Ashley's life, so he had to make them feel the pain Kristin knew they inflicted on his brother. Ashley would never turn to that, though, and so Kristin pushed the thought away despite a part of him feeling tempted, but it lingered.

He wanted to scream and shout at them, pull answers from their throats and whatever excuses they might say. He wished they could feel just some little piece of the pain he felt, but he knew they never could. How could they understand what they did when they chose to do it?

Maybe Ashley would've had something to say, some perspective Kristin could not currently see.

Movement out of the corner of his eye shocked him back to reality.

"Kristin," Charlie said, reaching out a tentative hand. "Can I give you a hug? Do you want one?"

Her voice broke on the question, and when Kristin glanced over at her, she had tears in her eyes.

Kristin looked away, trying to bury the anger he felt boiling in the pit of his stomach.

Every cell was so tightly wound up he felt like a rubber band on its breaking point, about to snap. A boiling tea kettle about to explode.

He knew what would relieve the pressure. He knew what would let him just sag into the couch, letting go of the breath he'd been holding since the day his world plummeted into hell.

He knew he would never get it.

He wanted Ashley back so bad, and he would never see his brother again.

"Please," Kristin croaked.

Charlie placed a hand on his shoulder, then stopped.

"I want a hug," he pleaded.

"I don't know how much physical touch you want," Charlie replied.

"Squish my soul back into my body," Kristin found himself saying, remembering how Ashley had once called a hug that a few months prior.

"I can do that."

Charlie pulled him in close, arms tight around his body, and Kristin buried his face in her shoulder. He felt her do the same, pressing her cheek into his neck.

Kristin clung to Charlie, and she did the same to him, tightening her hold and locking her arms around him. He squeezed his eyes shut, but when all he saw was Ashley's face and the images of the Trinity, he stared past Charlie, vision blurry with tears that trickled from his eyes. His mind still offered him all of the terrible images and possibilities he never wanted to think about again.

The pressure of the hug offered some measure of comfort, but it also reminded Kristin of Ashley. It made him long for his brother all the more. There was so much he wanted of his brother just one more time that he'd never be able to get.

Kristin's sides heaved with a sob, and Charlie just rubbed his back.

"I know, I know," Kristin choked out, voice thick and wet. "Maybe not rainbows and butterflies, but it'll be ok."

"Wasn't gonna say that," Charlie murmured back. "I suppose it's probably true, but it doesn't feel true. Not right now."

"The Trinity's arrested, but I still feel the same."

"Same here," Charlie whispered, holding onto him a little tighter.

xxxx

The front door slammed open, and Kristin's head shot up. Ferris burst through the entryway, followed by Ren and Zip.

"Kristin," Ferris said, gaze locked onto him. "Have you seen the news?"

Kristin shook his head, eyeing how Zip bounced on his feet and looked all over. How Ren stared at their phone screen with wide eyes. How Ferris looked like he was holding himself together with threads.

"What's goin' on?" Charlie asked, shifting to her knees on the couch, body tensed and ready to move.

Kristin stood up, and Charlie followed suit.

"I..." Ferris trailed off, and Kristin didn't know what to make of how his friend stumbled over his words.

Zip chewed on his lip for a moment. "Chad... Ch-Chad Malcolm has, uh. He said he paid the-the Trinity to..." His lip quivered, and Kristin barely caught the rest of Zip's sentence. "He said he paid the Trinity to kill Ashley."

Shock flooded through Kristin's system, but it soon turned into icy cold that left him feeling like he was stripped bare in subzero temperatures. A shiver ran through his body, and he didn't know how he remained standing.

"Chad hired the Trinity to kill Ashley?" he echoed, hardly able to hear his voice.

"Yes," Ferris said, low voice cutting through the fog in Kristin's brain, "that is what he is saying."

"Why?" Kristin's breath caught on a dry sob.

"The Moonfall Precinct hasn't said anything yet," Ren said, "but considering it sounds like it was a contract killing, I think Ashley probably knew something."

Kristin stared at Ren for several moments, holding their gaze until he broke away, lip curling as he huffed a humorless laugh.

"My brother was murdered because someone had a hissy fit and didn't like that they were gonna get caught?"

Kristin shook as rage and grief boiled in his system. Sobs racked his sides, and he couldn't hold back the tidal wave of grief that knocked him to his knees. He hunched over, and he heard the jagged breaths of the rest of the group.

"Why didn't he say anything?" Kristin asked, pleading. "We would've listened. He had to have known that."

He clawed at his throat as his lungs constricted.

The desire —the need— to have his brother back, for Ashley to come walking through the front door like he should've done overpowered him. It sung through every nerve, every cell in his body. Kristin needed Ashley back.

He needed his brother.

Kristin gritted his teeth and wrapped his arms around himself, digging his nails into his shoulders hard enough to break skin, but the sting did nothing to quell the agony coursing through him.

"How am I supposed to survive this world without Ashley?" Kristin choked out. "I have you guys, but he's my brother."

His mouth watered and a wave of nausea rose up in his throat, and he wanted to vomit.

"I don't know," Ren said softly. "We're here, but I know that doesn't change what's happened."

"I should've done something. He was right there in the Forest. Ashley was so close."

Charlie slumped down beside him. "You didn't know. None of us knew. We all thought he was out in Moonfall on the supply run, just like every other time. None of us could've guessed what really happened."

Kristin squeezed his eyes shut. He knew that. He had replayed that day and night over and over in his head a million times, knowing that at some moment during that time Ashley's life became an hourglass and Kristin lived in ignorant bliss while his brother took his last breaths, until Ashley's world went dark forever and Kristin would never know that moment because he wasn't there.

"I miss him so much," he said as tears dripped down his cheeks.

"So do I." Ferris's voice broke across the words, and the group echoed the sentiment.

"What do we even do? I just want him back. I can't think about anything else."

"We..." Zip paused to think, and Kristin watched him and gave him time. "We make sure the Trinity never is free again."

Charlie snorted, huffing a short laugh. "Damn right. Ain't no way in hell they're breathing fresh air again. I'll kill 'em if I haft'a. Never gonna see the light of day again."

"Don't let any officers hear you say that," Ferris said. "I know you don't have any intentions of actually doing it, but I don't want you getting into trouble."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Big difference between saying something and actually doing it. They're not getting out."

"They won't get out," Kristin said. He closed his eyes and repeated himself. "The Trinity isn't getting out. They're going to get locked away forever."